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Topic : 05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Number of Replies: 273
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Created on : Friday, May 23, 2008, 07:38:19 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It’s the last day in The Dr. Phil House for four families struggling to tone down the chaos, fighting and unhappiness. Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall and listen to what your kids say about you? Well, the moms get that chance. They watch and listen behind a two-way mirror as their kids have a conversation with one of their peers. Don’t miss Wendy’s reaction when her son, Noah, opens up about his sister’s death. When Dr. Phil puts the kids to the task of cleaning up a filthy room, will the challenge be too much for them … or their parents? Next, Dr. Phil sits down with the mothers and the fathers separately for some no-nonsense parenting advice. If you’re a parent, you won’t want to miss this valuable lesson in parenting! Then, Dr. Phil helps the parents make the first step in creating a phenomenal family. Plus, how are these families doing now? Don’t miss the surprising update! And, are you looking for something fun for your kids this summer? Deborah Gibson has gone from teen pop sensation to an inspiring musical mentor. See how she makes deserving children’s dreams come true at her Camp Electric Youth! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.



Discuss your views on discipline here.

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May 30, 2008, 5:45 pm CDT

Misunderstood

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

You said you would have physically assaulted a child.
I think physically assulted is a little strong but you can bet your last dollar that if he was my child and slapped me in the face like that, it would only happen ONCE!
 
May 30, 2008, 5:59 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: sister3

I agree with everything you said, Thank God there are parents like you that still believe in being the parent and not the friend! yoshiyoshi is so way off base with the things she/he writes.

I often told my son he has friends at school, on his sports teams etc but I am the only mother he will ever have! While I am not in favor of physical discipline I am in total agreement that discipline is an absolute necessity.

This behaviour did not 'pop up' overnight, I am sure it began as minor infractions that were either ignored or unseen due to the traumatic death of Olivia. While the death of her daughter isn't an excuse to stop parenting it is certainly understandable how it could happen. Once on that path I think the behaviour spiraled out of control so fast that before Mom knew it, she was faced with 'today's Noah'.

All of these parents realized that they are a large part of the problem and therefore the solution. Let's hope that they work on their individual (parents and children) needs and the needs of the family. I would hope that they were set up with counseling as needed and appropriate.

 
May 30, 2008, 6:04 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: feistyd

Nope.I understand what she said, your original post still doesn't make sense to me... sorry.

 

 

Quote From: yoshiyoshi
I say cheers to the parents who realize they are not suited to be parents, before they have a child and ruin that child's life.

 

That's a shame, I thought that shelly 80 could help you out. She seems to have understood it.
 
May 30, 2008, 6:05 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: tkdmom17

Boy someone is angry.  You really didn't read all I wrote.  Both of these people need a lot of help - much more then a show could offer.  Mom is nowhere near blameless but neither is Noah.  Noah did respond to the other mother when she reacted to his story.  He again is getting what he wanted.  He needs someone he can vent his anger to.  He has to be hurting over his sister's death and I know I remember correctly that it was said he turned off and hasn't even cried.  Golly maybe he in some ways felt as though he was placed in  the position of the man of the house.   If he is not given proper help outside of mom he will have serious lifelong problems and you can't argue with that.

 

I am still wondering where his father is?  Did I miss that segment?

 

So dear if it makes you feel better to lash out at me as you did in this post and the next its ok but do you handle all discussion this way when someone disagress with you?

I'm not angry, unless you associate anger with not being afraid to confront others with a reality they'd rather not hear.
 
May 30, 2008, 6:11 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: jodieskinner

I think physically assulted is a little strong but you can bet your last dollar that if he was my child and slapped me in the face like that, it would only happen ONCE!
You said in your previous statement, "If I could've jumped into the TV, I would've physically hurt him."  Those were your words. You said that you would've physically assaulted a child.
 
May 30, 2008, 6:12 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: sister3

I agree with everything you said, Thank God there are parents like you that still believe in being the parent and not the friend! yoshiyoshi is so way off base with the things she/he writes.
Yes, thank God there are more parents out there who would teach their child through violence, instead of people like me who would teach their children through love.
 
May 30, 2008, 6:15 pm CDT

Noah seems to have fooled a lot of the viewers....

Quote From: feistyd

If you go to the message board for 'Brat Camp, part 1' there is a post called 'WOW' by poster keepitreal623.... it has a lot of info that you might find interesting concerning Noah and Mom.

 

Btw, I have had the same issue with regard to Yoshi... I have tried to reach out and let her know that we have more in common that what she thinks,.. she says she has become very defensive due to other posters 'ganging up' on her (I can understand her becoming defensive). I just wish she would recognize not all of us are out to get her.

 

Unfortunately, I find many of her posts/responses degrading, angry and condenscending... which may be why many posters attack back.

Noah attempts to manipulate all situations--he was hamming it up for the camera and trying to get sympathy when he was talking to that other lady on the show that gave him a hug.  Every conversation this kid had with anyone on the show centered around how much he hated his mom, how she had abused him etc.  While talking to this mom you saw him looking at the cameras, and actually trying to squeeze tears out to get more sympathy.  What a drama queen!  I think Doctor Phil and Wendy  were really classy on this show. We could see Dr. Phil sitting in the background, getting an earful of the things Noah was saying that were obviously a lie--and he left it to us as viewers to realize that Noah has been telling lies for so long/trying to manipulate the situations --that we should be smart enough to know that his accusations against his Mom were not to be assumed to be all true.  Wendy proved herself to be trying her best to work with this kid --look at all the times she told him "that is not the way I recollect it" or  "That is not the way that I remember it" rather than calling him a liar and embarrassing him on national tv.  She admits that was her goal with her vague answers.  When it is obvious that Noah is being dishonest and trying to control the situation, she gives  him a look that tells him she knows that he is lying--and some of these viewers think that look or stare is cold and instead she should be giving him hugs!  I don't know whether Noah needs to be institutionalized before he can benefit from the therapy he needs--but there is no doubt but what he is a very sick little boy who has no respect for any adult authority figures, and he is very self-centered and  has a very distorted view of reality.  I hope that Dr. Lawless is asked to help evaluate Noah, because he has no social skills and is turning everyone off by his immature, poor behavior.  .   
 
May 30, 2008, 6:25 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

That's a shame, I thought that shelly 80 could help you out. She seems to have understood it.
Oh well, I will live with it. lol
 
May 30, 2008, 6:37 pm CDT

My heart goes out to Noah and Wendy

 I have wanted to post throughout the series. My heart goes out to Noah. Yes, he's out of control. No, he can't be allowed to hit at all. But I see his pain behind his bravado and I see how his mother dropped out of parenting.
Here's what happened to me. My husband died very suddenly, leaving me with three little ones, 7 down to 3. I think what surprised me the most in the midst of the grief was how I just could barely parent. That skill went out the window. I could barely take care of the children. Dr. Phil, take note - it is the strangest thing, but that skill takes a serious dip. I thank God my mom was able to be out a lot in the weeks that followed. But the children, although they don't cry all the time, they grief a family loss - I think - a lot harder than the parent, or just as hard. My littlest boy is as headstrong as Noah, and willing to talk back, willing to say, "I hate you!" Willing to do things wrong on purpose, willing to hit his sisters. I had to work very hard to dial in and create a relationship between him and me and him and his sisters so that now we are a loving unit, doing our best.
Wendy made a terrible mistake in her grief. She stopped parenting her son and never started back up. Noah had no one to guide him through his grief. Til it got to the point where he thought she would prefer that he was the one that died. Noah's misbehavior is his grief come to the fore. He is afraid to care about anything. His mom could not define his world for him, she could not help him find a way forward, so he set his own parameters. One of those parameters became, his mom is horrible. And really, she was, because she was not dialed in. He was able to define his life by this one truth: mom is terrible. And I don't care. How can a child start caring when he used to care and his world fell apart with the death of his sister. All I could see was his grief, his sadness. It made me cry every time. My own kids had that grief. I had Wendy's grief and I worked hard to work through it.
I hope Wendy will be the hero  here. Her son isn't going to be perfect, but she has to recognize that he needs love anyway.
What disappointed me in the "I'm sorry" conversation that she had with him, is that she didn't give him a right to his feelings. When he said, I hope so because it's been terrible. She should have let him have a right to say that. Instead she chided him, "don't you have anything positive to say." I would have said, I know, that's why I'm apologizing - I just feel terrible and I'm going to do my part to make things better."

What I find is that when my son says, "I hate you!" is that he is so frustrated he doesn't know what else to do. So he says that knowing it's one of the most hurtful things to me. I know that I have crossed some sort of line of logic or kindness or something with him and he lashes out. So I have learned to take a calm-down minute myself and try to figure out what I could have done better, or what went wrong. And if I need to, I apologize.
(I'm sorry, I know this is long...) Finally, the last thing I do in general is make sure all three of my children know how wonderful they are. In quiet moments with my son especially, I say, I am such a lucky mom. I have the best son in the whole entire world. I don't know how that happened, but I am lucky! And I name all his close friends one at a time and I say, yeah, Jackson is a good boy, but you are even better. At the end of those 3 or 4 names, I say, you are better than all of them put together, you're still so much better. He loves that. He just basks in that love.
I hope all continues to go well with Wendy and Noah. I hope Noah knows that he is loved by his mom and family and that even strangers like me are keeping his little family in their prayers. All the best.
 
May 30, 2008, 8:26 pm CDT

SPANKING YES!!!!

Quote From: studentlim

I come from a family of twelve, and yes we got the occasional spank on the but, We all respected our parents, we did what we were told to do, we all got married and stayed with our original spouse,( I have been married for 43 years) and all are financially set. I too spanked my 2 children when needed, and they grew up very successful and don't even remember being spanked as children. I think we no longer have real parents out there, we only have parents that wan't to defend their children's bad behavior. I know this first hand, I deal with parents and their misbehaved children on a daily basis, due to the job I have.
  I CAME FROM A FAMILY THAT MY MOM AN SPANKED ON OUR REAR ENDS SOMETIMES >>>>  THEY WERE THREE OF US AND NOW WE  SIXTY ONE AN  SIXTY  AN FIFTY SEVEN YRS OLD >> ALL ARE STILL MARRIED TO THE ONE TIME  SPOUSES >>> WITH GROWN MARRIED CHILDREN >> YES I SPANKED MY CHILDREN  TO < BEAT THEM NO I DID NOT  NOR WAS I BEAT BUT A GOO LICK ON OUR BACKSIDE MADE US KNOW THT OUR PARENTS CARED AN LOVED US >>> WE EVEN HAD SOME KIDS TO TELL US THEY WISHED THEIR PARENTS CARED ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO MAKE THEM FACE RESPONSIBILITIES >>>WHEN MY PARENTS SPANKED ME I KNEW I HAD BEEN SPANKED BUT THEY NEVER BEAT ME >>> I THANKED GOD FOR THE AGE I WAS BORNED IN AND MY KIDS >>> I HAD NEVER SEEN A KID ACT LIKE THOSE KIDS DID NEVER TO THEIR PARENTS >>> I THINK I"VE LIVED TO LONG >>>>
 
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