Message Boards

Topic : 05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Number of Replies: 273
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 23, 2008, 07:38:19 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It’s the last day in The Dr. Phil House for four families struggling to tone down the chaos, fighting and unhappiness. Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall and listen to what your kids say about you? Well, the moms get that chance. They watch and listen behind a two-way mirror as their kids have a conversation with one of their peers. Don’t miss Wendy’s reaction when her son, Noah, opens up about his sister’s death. When Dr. Phil puts the kids to the task of cleaning up a filthy room, will the challenge be too much for them … or their parents? Next, Dr. Phil sits down with the mothers and the fathers separately for some no-nonsense parenting advice. If you’re a parent, you won’t want to miss this valuable lesson in parenting! Then, Dr. Phil helps the parents make the first step in creating a phenomenal family. Plus, how are these families doing now? Don’t miss the surprising update! And, are you looking for something fun for your kids this summer? Deborah Gibson has gone from teen pop sensation to an inspiring musical mentor. See how she makes deserving children’s dreams come true at her Camp Electric Youth! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.



Discuss your views on discipline here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

June 1, 2008, 5:02 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: feistyd

Okay, let me try AGAIN.

 

BUT MANY PARENTS HAVE RAISED KIDS THAT SPANKED THEIR BUTS AND THEY ALSO TURNED OUT TO BE MORAL < RESPONSIBLE < INDEPNDENT < WELL- BEHAVED ETHICAL AN RESPECTFUL WITH SPANKINGS >>>>>IT CAN BE DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Never said parents who spank do not have good children, I said parents have also been successful without spanking... is that so difficult for you to accept/understand?

 

You talk like physical is really tearing up something ..... Lady get real .... But the way you act physical is really beating the soup out of someone ....

Nope, wrong- just saying it's not necessary.

 

yes  spanking does not hurt anybody if its done right

IF that was true why do parents do it?

 

.(..A hug is physical ) 

Really??!! I said physical punishment therefore a hug does not qualify.

 

You are not al;ways right either.

Really??? Cuz I thought I was.... relax-just joking. Actually I learn quite a lot from other people and past experiences. I am open-minded but there are some things that I just don't agree with ( and one of them is that spanking is necessary)

 

Hopr your kid never SLAPs you in your face ////////    

He has never raised a hand to me.

 

Cause your son has had no reason to raise a hand to your face. You haven't been physically punishing to him, so why would he be towards you?
 
June 1, 2008, 9:44 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

I'd agree with you, IF his mom didn't look at him like she's a monster, IF Noah didn't display caring when caring was shown to him by another mother in the group. His mom isn't little miss poor innocent angel, where do you think children learn to behave? From their parents! But you go ahead, keep calling him a sociopath, and act as if his mom is a poor victim. I hope it makes you feel better.
The fact that Naoah responded to Haley's mother is indicative of exactly....nothing. he knows she is not his mother. he has nothing to gain from directing his wrath and anger at her.. don't you see that Noah is, or rather, thinks he is, a master manipulator. Of course he will attempt to get as many outsiders "on his side" as as he can. if you think that his non-nasty repsonses tthe other mother's attention is proof that Noah's capable of warmth, , then you are seriously underestimating his intellegence


This was a seriously disfunctional family . Both are engaged in a cycle of anger, blame, guilt and abuse.They probably will require years of professional couseling to get out from it. Noah andWendy needed a lot more then being sent home with advice to "read my book"
 
June 1, 2008, 9:55 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

Cause your son has had no reason to raise a hand to your face. You haven't been physically punishing to him, so why would he be towards you?

Apparently, yoshi, the way to show my son I cared for and l loved him was to spank him... yeah, ok

 

Why is it that people 'think' that because their parents did something and it worked for them, that there is no room for improvement? Many things were done back 'in the day' and seen as appropriate that no longer exist. People are suppose to evolve as they educate themselves and recognize opportunities to do things better.

 
June 1, 2008, 9:58 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: jodieskinner

I think physically assulted is a little strong but you can bet your last dollar that if he was my child and slapped me in the face like that, it would only happen ONCE!
MY god- Don't you get how much a monster that staement makes of you?? Y There is only one way to make sure that someone never does anything again- kill them.

I'm sure that that is not what you intended to convey-

But that is where that attitude leads. You are saying that you will do anything t it takes to force a child to behave as you see fit. It is truely frightening that such a sentiment is considered acceptable by many in today's society.
 
June 1, 2008, 10:57 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: housewife52

You know, I was looking up information to see which states still allow corporal punishment, and corporal punishment is defined as " a deliberate infliction of pain and suffering intended to punish a person or change his/her behavior". (re: "yes spanking does not hurt anybody if its done right") Interesting, huh?

 

I have said before that I started out spanking, felt uncomfortable with it, stopped it and figured out other ways to handle decipline. And let me state for the record, when I DID spank, it stung my hand. And I didn't feel right doing that. In my experience,  my kids were well behaved without spanking. I just didn't feel right hitting my daughter .I think parents who spank would be pleasantly surprised to find that they would get the same results if they tried not spanking.I wish I had never started out thinking spanking was the way to go.

I wish I had never started out thinking spanking was the way to go.

 

Personal opinion.... let yourself off the hook. For whatever reason, you thought spanking was best for your child. At some point, your heart told you differently and you listened- good for you. You found other ways to get the results that you were looking for from your children and felt good about yourself in the process- obviously your children benefit all the way around!!

 

There's nothing wrong with admitting that you made a mistake, but give yourself credit for what you have done right. A truly loving parent continues to grow as a parent and as a person. 

 

Just think, your children will START their parenting days knowing there are other effective ways to discipline... how fortunate!

 
June 2, 2008, 7:31 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: feistyd

I wish I had never started out thinking spanking was the way to go.

 

Personal opinion.... let yourself off the hook. For whatever reason, you thought spanking was best for your child. At some point, your heart told you differently and you listened- good for you. You found other ways to get the results that you were looking for from your children and felt good about yourself in the process- obviously your children benefit all the way around!!

 

There's nothing wrong with admitting that you made a mistake, but give yourself credit for what you have done right. A truly loving parent continues to grow as a parent and as a person. 

 

Just think, your children will START their parenting days knowing there are other effective ways to discipline... how fortunate!

Well, the reason I started out spanking is because I thought that's what parents did. You know, for example, how the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening? Well, I thought spanking was a part of parenting. When I was a kid growing up, everybody got either spanked switched , hit with a belt or paddled. I never heard anybody suggest that there was another way. I mean, a good whoopin' solved everything. It never occured to me, even as a child, that there was anything wrong with it. I personally never knew anyone when I was growing up who had not got a whoopin' at some time or other. Was everyone I knew well behaved, why NO! But, I never thought about that aspect of things. Back then spanking could have been included with baseball hotdogs and apple pie. It's hard not to feel guilty about it, but there's nothing I can do about it except let it go. And I DID find other ways. Thank you for your post. I appreciate your encouragement. My daughter just found out she is pregnant and we are all excited about it. We have not discussed the dicipline. I think she will be a great mother. She is looking forward to it. Me too!
 
June 2, 2008, 8:39 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: housewife52

Well, the reason I started out spanking is because I thought that's what parents did. You know, for example, how the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening? Well, I thought spanking was a part of parenting. When I was a kid growing up, everybody got either spanked switched , hit with a belt or paddled. I never heard anybody suggest that there was another way. I mean, a good whoopin' solved everything. It never occured to me, even as a child, that there was anything wrong with it. I personally never knew anyone when I was growing up who had not got a whoopin' at some time or other. Was everyone I knew well behaved, why NO! But, I never thought about that aspect of things. Back then spanking could have been included with baseball hotdogs and apple pie. It's hard not to feel guilty about it, but there's nothing I can do about it except let it go. And I DID find other ways. Thank you for your post. I appreciate your encouragement. My daughter just found out she is pregnant and we are all excited about it. We have not discussed the dicipline. I think she will be a great mother. She is looking forward to it. Me too!
Congrats!! Will this be your 1st grandchild?
 
June 3, 2008, 7:48 pm CDT

I'm so disappointed in Dr. Phil

I couldn't be more disappointed in Dr. Phil's approach to "helping" these families. Firstly, letting parents be "the boss" is such an old paradigm. These children are rebelling because they're being talked to like dogs, not humans. DO this, do that, their parents are using CONTROL not logic, love or any sort of respectful communication, but EXPECT respect back. Of course these children will rebel. Then Dr. Phil is promoting punishment as a way of teaching these kids. As opposed to teaching the parents that the children are needing to be heard and felt respected and then the behavior will shift. as opposed to they "must listen" cuz I'm the boss. To continue with the reward/punishment approach to teaching anyone, means to continue a belief that our love is based on your behavior pleasing me, with little regard for that persons (or childs in this case) needs being considered too. Nothing was noted about the parents needing to be better listeners (okay I heard one dad bring it up) and responding to their childs needs rather than the parent simply moving onto the agenda of justification of their behavior. I could go on and on and on......To say "consistency" is key, yes, but not dictatorship. I may be "jumping" here, but I just would have loved to see more depth discussion regarding the parents need to shift their behavior as well.

 
June 3, 2008, 10:54 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: blondechannel

I couldn't be more disappointed in Dr. Phil's approach to "helping" these families. Firstly, letting parents be "the boss" is such an old paradigm. These children are rebelling because they're being talked to like dogs, not humans. DO this, do that, their parents are using CONTROL not logic, love or any sort of respectful communication, but EXPECT respect back. Of course these children will rebel. Then Dr. Phil is promoting punishment as a way of teaching these kids. As opposed to teaching the parents that the children are needing to be heard and felt respected and then the behavior will shift. as opposed to they "must listen" cuz I'm the boss. To continue with the reward/punishment approach to teaching anyone, means to continue a belief that our love is based on your behavior pleasing me, with little regard for that persons (or childs in this case) needs being considered too. Nothing was noted about the parents needing to be better listeners (okay I heard one dad bring it up) and responding to their childs needs rather than the parent simply moving onto the agenda of justification of their behavior. I could go on and on and on......To say "consistency" is key, yes, but not dictatorship. I may be "jumping" here, but I just would have loved to see more depth discussion regarding the parents need to shift their behavior as well.

This has to be the best post I've seen on here since Brat Camp started. You are so right, and I've been trying to say this all along.
 
June 4, 2008, 12:10 am CDT

Unhappy parents have unhappy children

This should be quite obvious, but parents who are unhappy will have unhappy children.  Yes, it is that simple.  One obvious sign of the parent's unhappiness is that they are overweight.  Dr. Phil should have taken the miserable parents and placed them in a fitness camp for a month or so.  A few of the children already have weight problems and also need similar help ASAP.  There's no way to have a healthy mind and spirit without having a healthy body.    


I could begin a dissertation about how immature and irresponsible the parents at this house are,  but it's a moot point.  Clearly, they need serious physical and mental help.   I do hope they get the therapy they need before they damage their children further. 

God help us all.
 
First | Prev | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | Next | Last