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Topic : 05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Number of Replies: 273
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Created on : Friday, May 23, 2008, 07:38:19 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It’s the last day in The Dr. Phil House for four families struggling to tone down the chaos, fighting and unhappiness. Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall and listen to what your kids say about you? Well, the moms get that chance. They watch and listen behind a two-way mirror as their kids have a conversation with one of their peers. Don’t miss Wendy’s reaction when her son, Noah, opens up about his sister’s death. When Dr. Phil puts the kids to the task of cleaning up a filthy room, will the challenge be too much for them … or their parents? Next, Dr. Phil sits down with the mothers and the fathers separately for some no-nonsense parenting advice. If you’re a parent, you won’t want to miss this valuable lesson in parenting! Then, Dr. Phil helps the parents make the first step in creating a phenomenal family. Plus, how are these families doing now? Don’t miss the surprising update! And, are you looking for something fun for your kids this summer? Deborah Gibson has gone from teen pop sensation to an inspiring musical mentor. See how she makes deserving children’s dreams come true at her Camp Electric Youth! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.



Discuss your views on discipline here.

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May 27, 2008, 3:29 pm CDT

Not in my house

I don't know where Dr. Phil got his parenting skills from but they certainly weren't from parent's like my brothers and sister and I have. I was screaming at the TV, it ticked me off so much with this 'Your the one on the wrong' here attitude Dr. Phil was giving to these parents. I'd have stood up and told Dr. Phil that he was full of you know what if I had been sitting there and he was pointing the finger at me like that!! But I will never be sitting there because I have my kids under control. And it hasn't been by being 'Mama Nice' to them either or sitting down with them and talking to them. We were raised by a very strict hand by both our parents. You do wrong, you got your butt whipped and whipped to the point where that wrong was never revisited again!! There was no sitting down and talking to us. It was a ass whipping and one that you didn't soon forget!! The friends I grew up with, all were on drugs and doing whatever the hell they wanted to do at all hours of the night and day. They had the sitting down, talking to kind of parents and well, this is how they turned out and to this day, are still using drugs and some have spent time in jail!! And all because they had parents who couldn't bring themselves to whip them or parents who really didn't give a good damn what they were doing. I'm raising my kids the way my parents raised us. Do wrong and you're going to feel it!! NOT HEAR IT!! But feel it. There was no apologizing to us because we got a whipping or because we didn't get what we wanted!! What a crock of BS that is!! Kids of today are all about me, me, me and I'll be damned if I'll have a Dr. Phil or any other person tell me that I'm wrong for correcting my kids this way. Has anyone ever asked the question, 'Why are the kids of today so self-centered and just out and out shear terror to their parents?' Could it be that the parents of today are listening too much to the Dr. Phils of this world and letting their kids get away with murder because, 'Oh my goodness!! I can't spank my child!! I'll be the bad guy if I did that!!' And the sad part of it is, these little brats know that they can get away with murder because their parents are too afraid to hurt the brats feelings or that a Dr. Phil may be lurking around the corner, waiting to slap them on the hand for daring to spank the kid instead of giving into the brat and letting him/her have his way!!!

 

 
May 27, 2008, 3:53 pm CDT

What is Happening to Kids these Days?

I don't have a clue what is the matter with children these days, I can't ever remember children being so disrespectful, nor even raising their voices.

 

These children and their parents need real parenting.  The thought that that little boy Noah could get away with slapping his mother is just downright not to be believed.

 

Either there is something in the milk as of late, or life isn't what it used to be.

We were taught respect, manners, and how to handle our emotions, guess this generation has failed miserably,  or perhaps they weren't parented properly.

 

Either way, my decision not to have children probably was the best thing I could have ever done!

 

Breathing a huge sigh of relief in Toronto........................

 

 
May 27, 2008, 3:58 pm CDT

To the Parents

Hey Parents!  Those who pay the bills, call the shots!
 
May 27, 2008, 4:09 pm CDT

Parents vs Kids

The problem with the kids today is actually what they have learned, not only from the parents but all the adults out there. The major message is take what you can and run. There is no responsibility for our actions or what we say. We all learn from each other; and yes kids included.

We all take for granted our relationships and they are easily disposed of, where as the possessions we have mean more to us than all things living.

 

We all can learn from each other (age is not important) we should treat others as we like to be treated, but then we already know this, and no we really don't do this. But we should hold ourselves responsible for our actions and what comes out of our mouths, but then if we did this, then people like Dr Phil wouldn't have a job either.

 

We are molding our children after ourselves and society, really now if we have problems now while they are young, what kind of society will we end up with as they age? I don't think we would be proud now would we? lets change our behaviors now, and we don't need to change later on.....

Easier said than done right? change the little things and the big things take care of themselves.

 

Let's try this and see if it works, hey everyone likes a bit of competition and we are trend setters after all right?

 
May 27, 2008, 4:10 pm CDT

A Happy Mom

Quote From: photoflirt

I don't have a clue what is the matter with children these days, I can't ever remember children being so disrespectful, nor even raising their voices.

 

These children and their parents need real parenting.  The thought that that little boy Noah could get away with slapping his mother is just downright not to be believed.

 

Either there is something in the milk as of late, or life isn't what it used to be.

We were taught respect, manners, and how to handle our emotions, guess this generation has failed miserably,  or perhaps they weren't parented properly.

 

Either way, my decision not to have children probably was the best thing I could have ever done!

 

Breathing a huge sigh of relief in Toronto........................

 

To answer your question about what is wrong with children these days....it's their parents.  Some parents think they can just send their kids to school and everything should be handled there.   They need to work during the day, but they want to still go out at night.  They don't want to help with homework, expect their children to be slaves to the house while they sit on the couch and watch TV.  Parenting is hard work. You have to put yourself last most of the time (of course, not all of the time).  You need to listen to their concerns and problems when you have your own, you need to be interested when they tell you about the video came they love, you need to be firm when they have a paper due and they haven't started it yet (and by firm I mean sit down at the table with them and say "Okay, so what's your paper about? " and help them get organized).   You need to behave with integrity, apologize when you make a mistake,  and teach them by example.

 

I'm not saying parents cannot spend time doing the things they want for themselves.  But if you're a parent and you're going out three nights a week, or your child goes to their room after dinner and you don't see them again until right before bed (if at all), or they have a video game system and you don't know what the ratings mean,   or you haven't met all of their teachers,  or you don't know what their homework assignments are every week,  you might want to re-evaluate your parenting skills.

 

So if you're seeing an out of control child, a rude child, a selfish child....not everytime, but most times you'll see an out of control parent, a rude parent, a selfish parent.

 

 

 
May 27, 2008, 4:12 pm CDT

I believe

I have realized many things from watching Dr. Phil. After just watching Brat Camp and current events around the world this poem came to mind recently and I thought I wuold share it.

 

I call it 'I Believe"

 

We wonder why the worlds a mess, we wonder why some kids don't dress

We work more hours to fill our need, we have more things and can't see the greed

 

From head to toe we want much more, but we forgot the basics from which we were bore

The message back then was family comes first, now it's just things which drive our deep thirst

 

We used to be taught the life lessons we need, now were given the toys and no need to succeed

We learn from watching and what we can see, the message since changed buy spend and be free

 

The rules of the game are grab all that you can, then use all the money for some kind of scam

Customer service, it's a thing of the past, if you want some of this you'll just need more cash

 

We now use our food to power our cars, and worry verry little about the deep scares

Their bellies all empty the cars are all full, they'll tell you they care but we know that's just bull

 

The politicians they preach and promise it all, you find out the truth should they happen to fall

It's your vote that they want and not your true thought, that's reserved for big companies whom have already bought

 

Has what we now own become that which we are, my child my health or should I buy a new car

The possions add up an can make a big mess, is this the best option it's time to confess

 

If you had to decide what would it be, the choice is so simple I clearly see

Children grow up and need a good start, to invest in the future we have to take part

 

I wonder why we're all so blind, I wonder why we're not all kind

I truly see and can believe, a loving world for all indeed.

 

 
May 27, 2008, 4:23 pm CDT

Congrats

I am so happy that all of these families have made progress,,, no matter how much. Continue the hard work- your families are SO worth it. Thanks for sharing your stories no matter how bad the story, I hope progress continues and sometime in the future we hear that there are more 'phenomenal families'  in the world because of your hard work.

 

'Kudos' to all.

 

Btw, anyone notice that Ethan was the only child to respond to the parents' apologies with what HE could do to make things better. Maybe, just maybe, he was listening all along.

 
May 27, 2008, 4:49 pm CDT

Real Abuse

Dr Phil needs to set Noah up with kids who are really being abused so he can talk to them and understand what real abuse is.  He is not an abused child, yet he flings that word around like it is nothing.  Kids everyday are afraid to go home because of the the abuse they get.  He is a self centered, selfish, manipulative, martyr.  I know his mother has "checked out" (as Dr Phil would say) from parenting this boy, but his behavior makes it very hard to side with him or want to advocate for him.

 

As a person who was really abused physically by their parent, I take offense that this child is using this allegation as a power struggle card and Dr Phil is not doing anything to address that boy directly.

 

I know that boy is angry because his mother is "not there" and his sister died.  This boy and his mother need more than the "Brat House" deal will ever give them.  They need real, long term therapy.  Mom needs to learn how to be a parent, and Noah needs to unlearn all of these manipulation tactics he has learn (that have obviously paid off for him somewhere).

 
May 27, 2008, 4:51 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: barbee1212

I was reading through the message board and saw your post, and it made me want to tell my own story because it's weighing down on me and I feel like I'm drowning in how painful and unfair my own experience has been.

 

When I was 21 (i.e. 16 years  ago), I had to have radical surgery to remove one of my ovaries, part of another and parts of both my Fallopian tubes.  I was told then that my only chance of getting pregant was through in vitro fertilization (IVF).  That knowledge caused me a great deal of pain over the years, looking at my peers, who seemed so carefree with untroubled futures before them.

 

I finally married at 34 and began treatments.  I knew they would be hard, but I didn't think they would be as difficult as they are and I didn't expect them to last so long.  Over the period of a year and a half, I had two surgeries, over 3 hundred injections, four egg retrievals under anesthesia, and more medical and monitoring tests and procedures than I can even remember.  We had decided on the fourth cycle that we had essentially exhausted all our options and planned on building our family through adoption.  Then the miracle happened.  That fourth cycle was successful.   No one could believe it-- least of all our doctor. 

 

It was a miracle.  I never had any morning sickness, really no problems whatsoever.  The baby was completely healthy and in the exact statistical center for height and weight.  Then on Thanksgiving Day I had some pain in my back, and I went to the Dr. the next day because of some light spotting.  I was already 4 cm dilated.  I gave birth later that night in the hospital.  I was only at 22 weeks and no attempts were even made to revive my daughter because she was so extremely premature.  She died in my arms.

 

Her grave marker was placed last week and we completed another IVF cycle on Monday.  It was unsuccessful.  So what I would really like to do is just slam my head against the wall repeatedly and cry and cry--- why can't I catch a break?

 

 

 

   I am so sorry for you.  I feel you are entitled to crying and banging your head into the wall once or twice.  l Are you going to continue the IVF cycle? 

  

 
May 27, 2008, 5:08 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: upatnight

Watching the show and reading and listening to the material on Dr.Phil.com made me really frustrated.  It's fortunate that I am not some of these kid Mom as I would likely do something very un-mom-like. I watched with my 12 yr old daughter and she was shocked at the attitude  and dis-respect shown by some of these kids. I was frankly surprised at her view. We have had our battles over the years.

 

She recommended that the parents do what I did when I reached the end of my rope a few years ago with her and her sister. They were abusing their bedroom big time... peeing on the floor, hiding rotting food in the closet, drawing on the walls, peeling the walpaper border off, you name it my sweetlings were doing it. I took away everything, and I mean everything, from their room... the carpet(down to the subfloor), the beds, their clothes, their toys and stuffies, the wall hangings, everything.  I left their pillows,mattresses, blankets and books (I'm an avid reader and would never take away books). They were embarrassed to have their friends over, I can't blame them it looked awful. 

 

This went on for weeks until a friend of theirs said " Why don't you behave so you can get your stuff back?"

 

 A simple enough question, but one that created an aha moment. I was frankly running out of things to take away... we were all miserable. Fast foreward 5 or so years later and both girls keep their rooms fairly nice ( we have had a few more battles but not so much) and they now know that Mom and Dad mean business. We have learned that raising a family takes on-going adjustments and re-negotiations...it's never perfect but now it is at least manageable. We still have to call the kids (we have 4) on their behavior but they also call us on ours. Home is a place of relative peace and much love.

 

You can't let the lunatics take over the assylum... someone has to be in charge and that will NOT be someone who isn't even allowed to vote.

   I was eleven, and I went to spend the night at Teresa's house.  Teresa was engaged in a battle with her mother about her bedroom.  Teresa refused to keep it tidy.  And, it was getting bad.  I am an Oscar Madison, not a Felix Unger.  Teresa's bedroom was so bad, I looked at her in amazement and told her, "You live like a pig."

    We spent the weekend cleaning up her bedroom.

    Tween kids are like that.  They enjoy having control over their things and their bedroom.  When a battle between them and their parents is in its height, the only person with any influence is their friends. 

 
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