Topic : 05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

  Yesterday was Memorial Day.  I confess, I always think of Charlie on Memorial Day. 

   My second pregnancy brought my daughter, Lauren into the world.  I had troubles near the end, and she had something called fetal growth retardation.  It means that I carried Lauren for 39 weeks, but she stopped developing at week 31.  She weighed 5 pounds and one precious ounce.  That ounce meant she could be delivered at the normal hospital.  Any less, she would have been delivered at a neonatal unit.

    I hold the hospital's record for not asking whether the child was a boy or a girl.  Parents usually inquire this before the baby is completely delivered.  I lay back with a comfortable C-section listening to that pleasant little voice, mewing away.  Finally, they cleaned the baby up.  The doctor said, "I don't believe it.  I have never had a patient not ask if it was a boy or a girl.  Do you want to know?" 

   I looked at my husband, he looked at me and he said, "I guess so."

   We wished Lauren her first "Happy Birthday."  I remember plainly the moment when I dared love her.  Two weeks later, I brought her home from the hospital to her nursery.  As I walked down the hall toward it,

 the weight of the world fell off my shoulders.  I had my baby, and I got to go home and be her momma!

   I had a miscarriage the following year.  I bled excessively, and I had a D&C.  The worst thing about cervical cancer is that pregnancy speeds up the cancer.  And, then  it masks the problem.  Instead of having distinct symptoms, I was told I had "false labor."  I was only imagining the problem, and I would be sent home.

    Two years after Lauren, I had my son James.  He is the exact image of his brother, Charlie.  Six months later, I had a hysterectomy.  The cancer kicked in big time. 

To answer your question about what is wrong with children these days....it's their parents.  Some parents think they can just send their kids to school and everything should be handled there.   They need to work during the day, but they want to still go out at night.  They don't want to help with homework, expect their children to be slaves to the house while they sit on the couch and watch TV.  Parenting is hard work. You have to put yourself last most of the time (of course, not all of the time).  You need to listen to their concerns and problems when you have your own, you need to be interested when they tell you about the video came they love, you need to be firm when they have a paper due and they haven't started it yet (and by firm I mean sit down at the table with them and say "Okay, so what's your paper about? " and help them get organized).   You need to behave with integrity, apologize when you make a mistake,  and teach them by example.

I'm not saying parents cannot spend time doing the things they want for themselves.  But if you're a parent and you're going out three nights a week, or your child goes to their room after dinner and you don't see them again until right before bed (if at all), or they have a video game system and you don't know what the ratings mean,   or you haven't met all of their teachers,  or you don't know what their homework assignments are every week,  you might want to re-evaluate your parenting skills.

So if you're seeing an out of control child, a rude child, a selfish child....not everytime, but most times you'll see an out of control parent, a rude parent, a selfish parent.

I don't know where Dr. Phil got his parenting skills from but they certainly weren't from parent's like my brothers and sister and I have. I was screaming at the TV, it ticked me off so much with this 'Your the one on the wrong' here attitude Dr. Phil was giving to these parents. I'd have stood up and told Dr. Phil that he was full of you know what if I had been sitting there and he was pointing the finger at me like that!! But I will never be sitting there because I have my kids under control. And it hasn't been by being 'Mama Nice' to them either or sitting down with them and talking to them. We were raised by a very strict hand by both our parents. You do wrong, you got your butt whipped and whipped to the point where that wrong was never revisited again!! There was no sitting down and talking to us. It was a ass whipping and one that you didn't soon forget!! The friends I grew up with, all were on drugs and doing whatever the hell they wanted to do at all hours of the night and day. They had the sitting down, talking to kind of parents and well, this is how they turned out and to this day, are still using drugs and some have spent time in jail!! And all because they had parents who couldn't bring themselves to whip them or parents who really didn't give a good damn what they were doing. I'm raising my kids the way my parents raised us. Do wrong and you're going to feel it!! NOT HEAR IT!! But feel it. There was no apologizing to us because we got a whipping or because we didn't get what we wanted!! What a crock of BS that is!! Kids of today are all about me, me, me and I'll be damned if I'll have a Dr. Phil or any other person tell me that I'm wrong for correcting my kids this way. Has anyone ever asked the question, 'Why are the kids of today so self-centered and just out and out shear terror to their parents?' Could it be that the parents of today are listening too much to the Dr. Phils of this world and letting their kids get away with murder because, 'Oh my goodness!! I can't spank my child!! I'll be the bad guy if I did that!!' And the sad part of it is, these little brats know that they can get away with murder because their parents are too afraid to hurt the brats feelings or that a Dr. Phil may be lurking around the corner, waiting to slap them on the hand for daring to spank the kid instead of giving into the brat and letting him/her have his way!!!

Dr Phil needs to set Noah up with kids who are really being abused so he can talk to them and understand what real abuse is.  He is not an abused child, yet he flings that word around like it is nothing.  Kids everyday are afraid to go home because of the the abuse they get.  He is a self centered, selfish, manipulative, martyr.  I know his mother has "checked out" (as Dr Phil would say) from parenting this boy, but his behavior makes it very hard to side with him or want to advocate for him.

As a person who was really abused physically by their parent, I take offense that this child is using this allegation as a power struggle card and Dr Phil is not doing anything to address that boy directly.

I know that boy is angry because his mother is "not there" and his sister died.  This boy and his mother need more than the "Brat House" deal will ever give them.  They need real, long term therapy.  Mom needs to learn how to be a parent, and Noah needs to unlearn all of these manipulation tactics he has learn (that have obviously paid off for him somewhere).

To answer your question about what is wrong with children these days....it's their parents.  Some parents think they can just send their kids to school and everything should be handled there.   They need to work during the day, but they want to still go out at night.  They don't want to help with homework, expect their children to be slaves to the house while they sit on the couch and watch TV.  Parenting is hard work. You have to put yourself last most of the time (of course, not all of the time).  You need to listen to their concerns and problems when you have your own, you need to be interested when they tell you about the video came they love, you need to be firm when they have a paper due and they haven't started it yet (and by firm I mean sit down at the table with them and say "Okay, so what's your paper about? " and help them get organized).   You need to behave with integrity, apologize when you make a mistake,  and teach them by example.

I'm not saying parents cannot spend time doing the things they want for themselves.  But if you're a parent and you're going out three nights a week, or your child goes to their room after dinner and you don't see them again until right before bed (if at all), or they have a video game system and you don't know what the ratings mean,   or you haven't met all of their teachers,  or you don't know what their homework assignments are every week,  you might want to re-evaluate your parenting skills.

So if you're seeing an out of control child, a rude child, a selfish child....not everytime, but most times you'll see an out of control parent, a rude parent, a selfish parent.

I don't have a clue what is the matter with children these days, I can't ever remember children being so disrespectful, nor even raising their voices.

These children and their parents need real parenting.  The thought that that little boy Noah could get away with slapping his mother is just downright not to be believed.

Either there is something in the milk as of late, or life isn't what it used to be.

We were taught respect, manners, and how to handle our emotions, guess this generation has failed miserably,  or perhaps they weren't parented properly.

Either way, my decision not to have children probably was the best thing I could have ever done!

Breathing a huge sigh of relief in Toronto........................

"It's the adults who are wrong, not you . . ."  to Noah?  You act as if there can only be one person at fault and it must be the mom.  How is Noah NOT wrong to slap his mother?  Kick the other children when the adults leave the room?  LIE???  No matter what anyone else has done, he had no right to emotionally abuse and physically intimidate others, and he SURE was wrong when he antagonized the other children and previously assaulted his principal.  What he right then???

  I saw some behavior of his mother that she shouldn't do, but over and over she was trying to implement what Dr. Phil said to improve things.  AT NO TIME did Noah behave in an acceptable way.  But HE was the one who was right?   Are you truly serious?

"It seems people only want to listen to kids who behave like kids" -- well, we adults do prefer kids to behave like kids rather than demonically possessed, pathologically lying, intimidating and manipulating.  Call us adults foolish for that.  Silly us wrong adults again.  What COULD we be thinking?

"Don't feel you should dumb yourself down, to get what you need from people"  Noah never has exhibited an inclination to dumb himself down.  He uses violence, disrespect, and lies to manipulate  to get what he wants, as proven by a CPS report that showed he was wrong and he admitted to Dr. Phil on episode 2 that he lied.  It doesn't seem to have ever occurred to Noah to use any other technique to control and manipulate to get what he wants.  Thanks for suggesting another method, though.  If he did decide to add "playing dumb" to his repertoire, he might, maybe . . . perhaps . . . just be quiet for once.

Did I say Noah wasn't wrong to slap his mother? I didn't, however I also do belive that based on her behaviour she should've known eventually he would have had enough. Noah kicked the other children when the parents left the room, because those children instigated him. They kept teasing him and getting on him, they learned that everyone is not their sister, that some people will fight back. I think that's a valuble lesson for those little bullies.

Demonically posseesed, wow, talk about imatture and over-exaggerated. Stop having a parent-fit cause I actually am holding parents account for how they raise their children. I notice most parents seem to think, throwing a hissy-fit when someone even DARES to question their ability to raise their children, proves something other than they are the ones who are being a child.

Noah wasn't born knowing how to lie, and manipulate people. He learned how to from his mother, although I'm sure you fail to see that, seeing as parents are simply immaculate in their parenting. That anyone who suggests otherwise, deserves to hear a knock-down, fall on the floor, kicking their feet in the air temper tantrum from the parent who claims they are so mature.

Why don't you sit back and just take a look at your post. It sounds like a angry teenager ranting away on a social bulletin board. You wonder why people don't respect adults, when they behave no better than the bratty children they criticize?