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Topic : 05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

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Created on : Friday, May 23, 2008, 07:38:19 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It’s the last day in The Dr. Phil House for four families struggling to tone down the chaos, fighting and unhappiness. Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall and listen to what your kids say about you? Well, the moms get that chance. They watch and listen behind a two-way mirror as their kids have a conversation with one of their peers. Don’t miss Wendy’s reaction when her son, Noah, opens up about his sister’s death. When Dr. Phil puts the kids to the task of cleaning up a filthy room, will the challenge be too much for them … or their parents? Next, Dr. Phil sits down with the mothers and the fathers separately for some no-nonsense parenting advice. If you’re a parent, you won’t want to miss this valuable lesson in parenting! Then, Dr. Phil helps the parents make the first step in creating a phenomenal family. Plus, how are these families doing now? Don’t miss the surprising update! And, are you looking for something fun for your kids this summer? Deborah Gibson has gone from teen pop sensation to an inspiring musical mentor. See how she makes deserving children’s dreams come true at her Camp Electric Youth! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.



Discuss your views on discipline here.

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May 27, 2008, 1:56 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: roaringredhead

I completely disagree.  The only mental health issues Noah and Ethan have is manipulation and abusive behavior.  I'm sure both boys were screened prior to going on the show.  Trust me, if either Noah or Ethan had a mental health issue the parents would be screaming it out loud.  I can't stand it, but it's true.  Parents use mental health and disabilities as an excuse for bad behavior.  As a parent of a child with two hidden disabilities, it shames me to see when parents put the disablity even before the child's name. "Hi, this my Autistic son Allen, or my ADHD daughter Kate."  Children with special needs deserve respect and need to have the same if not similiar expectations as neurotypical children.  Noah and Ethan, if you want respect from others you have to give it back in return with no excuses

That is not true. Special needs children DO NOT live with the same societal expectations, because they cannot live up to that. What's to prove by forcing someone with Asperger's Syndrome, like me, into a social situation just so YOU the parent feel better about yourself?

 

Children with learning disabilities need protection, they need to be understood, and treated like a person. Only in a household with a BAD PARENT would a child with special needs, be FORCED to mimick NT behaviour. Mental health and disabilites are real, they are not an excuse.

 

 I'm sure half the parents on this board, would feel my response to sudden loud noises from having Hyperacusis, which is screaming. Should be treated by being spanked, yelled at, or overwhelmed in some shape or form. Learning disabled children cannot handle all that. They will either shut down, or learn to cope in maladaptive ways like self-injury as one example.

 

Punishing a child with a non-visible disability for their disability, is no different than punishing someone who is wheelchair bound for not walking. It is sick, and wrong. There is only one word for a parent who feels that terrorizing a child who's already troubled is a solution, an abuser. It's no different than the schoolyard bully who preys on the weaker students. You have a child who already suffers from not being able to meet the standards of Neurotypical society. Why would you think beating up on them would help the matter? Why would you think hurting a child who already is suffering, is something a parent should do. Thank God I'm not your kid, or I'm sure I'd be needing serious therapy. That's if of course, I didn't off myself first.

 
May 27, 2008, 1:59 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: katrinakaye

Noah is a very intelligent child! He has figured out that he can really hurt his Mother by accusing her of child abuse. I have no doubt that his Mother has done some abusive things but only out of total frustration and not knowing what else to do. I dont think her "abuse" is the entire problem. Noah has many psychological issues that need to be dealt with, and this is not a matter that should be left entirely up to his Mother. They both need intense counseling. This is not something they can fix by "forgiving" eachother and just stoping.

I agree. I also feel that Noah feels real terror when his mother does those things that are abusive, and is in constant terror of wondering when is mother is going to take things out on him again. They do both need intense counseling, if not a visit to the psychatrist.

 

It seems alot of people on these boards, simply can't comprehend how it feels for a child, when the person they depend on for their life, is fine one minute and snaps at them the next. It's hard enough for an adult to understand it, a child blames themselves. Oh but you know, Dr. Phil feels these kids are all reprehensible brats and they do deserve to have all the blame on them, cause certainly their parents have nothing to do with it.

 
May 27, 2008, 2:01 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: tyler1

During the show today once again I was irritated with some of the mothers behaviors.  However instead of bashing any of the adults or children I'd rather just wish them all the best of luck.   Some will need it more than others.

 

Also wanted to say I just love Haley's mom.  What an awesome lady, she really got it. And the way she was so kind and helpful to Noah and Wendy.  She is truly a caring person.  I believe her and Haley have a very bright future together.

 

And to Noah, You're a smart little guy.  Please don't grow into an angry adult.  Try very hard to give your mom a break and hopefully she'll give you one as well. Take care little fella.

Another note to Noah. You are right, your mother should not be behaving the way she does. It's a shame that it seems people only want to listen to kids who behave like kids. Don't feel you should dumb yourself down, to get what you need from people. It's the adults who are wrong, not you.
 
May 27, 2008, 2:02 pm CDT

05/27 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 3

Quote From: littlenicky

Ethan and Noah sure got over on Dr. Phil. Did Ethan say more than 10 words on the show? And Noah is a little drama queen who needs a serious beat down before he gets too big.
Your lucky, for all the people on here who claim that what these kids deserve is a good physical beating, that the CPS doesn't watch these boards.
 
May 27, 2008, 2:02 pm CDT

Noah's Mom - not given enough credit

I think the mom needs to be given some grief counseling along with her son.

I DON'T think it's ALL the parents fault. I believe that parents have a large part in raising their kids but some kids make choices that have nothing to do with who their parent may be or how they raised them. She puts her arms around her son and tells him she loves him, has to be strong and a almost perfect parent while she is breaking inside. SHE needs someone to put their arms around her and tell her she is OK and just hold and comfort her. She needs support - not just to be told all she has done wrong. Parenting is so much harder than any of us expected and the last thing we need when we are really trying is to be told all we do wrong and never what we do right.

 

As far as Noah, as long as adults believe everything that comes out of childrens mouths, and think it must be the parent without any proof to back it up, we will creat kids like Noah. No matter what a kid tells you - make sure there is proof to back it up away from what the child says and does and show you. Noah's idea of his mom listening is the same as my daughters, they think the parent doesn't listen when they don't get their way. So not true. This generation thinks the world should cater to them and that their parents out to be perfect - no matter the childs behavior.

 
May 27, 2008, 2:07 pm CDT

Disappointed

I was very disappointed in how that Noah and Wendy's problems were not all addressed.  Wendy needs grief counciling now.  Just acknowleding that a lot of the problems stem from the lose of her daughter is not going to help her.  She doesn't know how to cope with it.  She needs therapy for that then all the rest will fall into place for her.

 

And Noah, where did he learn to call his mother a bitch?  Who did he hear call her that?  Why did Dr. Phil not pick up on that? That child has some much deeper issues compared to the rest of the kids and could have been a three part series just by himself.

 
May 27, 2008, 2:11 pm CDT

How It Happens

I can give you an example of how parents lose control. I was in Target. There was a mother chasing her three to four year old down the aisle telling him that if he didn't stop he was going to be put into the cart. He darted around the corner and she followed. I saw them ten minutes later. I don't know if she ever put him in the cart, but if she did, he didn't stay there. He was out and toddling along again. As I passed her I said to her..."You really punished him."

Parents don't carry through with discipline. If a parent tells them that they are going to sit, then they need to sit. If the Mom says ..behave or we will leave the store and go home, then if the child does misbehave, they have to leave and go home. They can't go swimming like they were going to after shopping. Follow through. Mean what you say. Plain and simple. And don't feel guilty because you disciplined your child. You are the parent/adult. They are children.
 
May 27, 2008, 2:12 pm CDT

Wendy

It's very interesting how Wendy reacted after seeing Noah talk to her,

 

"I feel bad!"

"How can he say that about ME!"

"I feel I'M unable to treat him lovingly"

 

Alot of talk about her her her, nothing about her son.

 
May 27, 2008, 2:13 pm CDT

Dr. Phil House Brat Camp

Dear Dr. Phil:

It seems suprising to me that you have not suggested that Noah be evaluated fully by Dr. Lawless. Perhaps you have done so off camera. Children with seemingly lesser problems than Noah have been fully evaluated at your request. This child seems to be very, very troubled. Simply sending him and his mother home, even with family counseling available, appears to be inadequate.

I am hoping that this family in particular is able to heal as their pain is terribly apparent. I just lost my son, my only child, and I know how terribly  raw I feel. To see this mother "losing" her other child is devastating to watch. What I would not give to have another child to comfort me at this awful time... They need eachother more than most people can appreciate who have not suffered this kind of loss.

 
May 27, 2008, 2:20 pm CDT

Dr. Phil--you are in way over your head!

Quote From: cuddles05

THE KID THAT HIT HIS MUM HE WOULD HAVE BEEN ON THE FLOOR I WOULD'NT HAVE PUT UP WITH THAT FOR ONE SECOND.AND THESE OTHER KIDS WHAT DRAMA QUEENS THEY ARE.AND THE PARENTS OF ALL THESE KIDS SHOULD OF NEVER HAD KIDS.GOD I HAD KIDS AND THERE NO KID THAT IS PERFECT BUT MY GOD THESE KIDS ARE OUT OF CONTROL BIG TIME BUT IT'S THE PARENTS FAULT.THEY SHOULD OF NEVER HAD KIDSA IF THEY DID'NT KNOW HOW TO RAISE THEM OR TREAT THEM.AND THIS MOTHER THAT THE SON HIT HER.SHE LOST A CHILD WELL SO DID I.YOU CAN'T USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE.AND LET HER SON PAY FOR SOMETHING THAT WAS'NT HIS FAULT.GROW UP PEOPLE AND GET A LIFE.
Dr. Phil--You are not helping either Wendy or Noah.  It seems like you are in la-la-land.  It's time to ask for some help/suggestions from your Board.   Do you know how long Noah has been so angry at his Mom?  You are assuming this is all related to his sister's illness and death--but maybe you haven't dug deep enough and this is related to the divorce of his parents.  Noah tries to play each parent against each other--"I wish I lived with my Dad--I hate you."  How does he interact with his Dad?  Is living elsewhere a possibility?  Wendy is entirely worn out with Noah's displaced anger and war of words!  Give her some peace so she can get her strength back, rather than just telling her not to hit him and to say positive things to this foul-mouthed arguer.  Even Noah knows that he has fooled Dr. Phil--"I said I would apologize but I didn't mean it."  Dr. Phil and Noah need to Get Real--sure Mom has hit him four or five times in his life but a lot of parents have actually done this and the kid hasn't copped an attitude and reported them to CPS or the School Councelor or the Stewardess.  Being a tattle-tale or arguing about everything Mom says doesn't make Noah an endearing child!  Noah and his Mom (or Principal or Therapist) are not equals, and there are certain standards of behavior that any intelligent child is expected to follow.  Why should Wendy pretend that her son is a loveable, intelligent child when his behavior says he is controlling and manipulative and mean?  I would strip that kid's room bare, take away all his toys and computer--and he would be rewarded only when his behavior was acceptable.  Where are the other relatives in this family--I would make sure that this Mom had a good support system and therapy because Noah is going to be a handful.  I would predict that both Ethan and Noah are going to drop out of school because their behaviors are so awful that they have no friends--or they will be in juvenile court because they have no respect for adults and rules.  I see no signs that Dr. Phil has helped these parents with their problem children--he has just played the blame game and told the parents they have created all these problems.  Maybe so--but can't he intervene and get them some help because things are escalating and spiralling out of control.  Dr. Phil, you have lost round one, two and three--bring in the heavy GUNS!
 
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