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Topic : 05/29 The Sex Talk

Number of Replies: 101
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Created on : Friday, May 23, 2008, 07:50:23 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil delves into a topic so terrifying, so uncomfortable and daunting that some parents absolutely refuse to do it … It’s the sex talk! With the help of Dr. John Chirban and his book, What’s Love Got to Do with It: Talking with Your Kids about Sex, Dr. Phil takes on some petrified parents who are long overdue for this discussion. Jackie is a mother of two daughters, 11 and 13. She’s so terrified to have the talk, she’s never even brought up the topic! Just the thought of the S word sends Jackie into a tailspin. Dr. Chirban coaches Jackie through what she calls the most difficult conversation in her life. How do Jackie’s daughters think she did? Then, Pam is a mother who thought she had everything right when it came to talking to her 14-year-old daughter, Ashley, about sex. So why does she now think her daughter might be pregnant? Pam and Ashley visited the doctor and are ready to hear the results of the pregnancy test. Plus, meet a mother and father who are terrified that their 10-year-old son will be scarred for life from what he recently saw on the Internet. Then, Dr. Chirban sits down with a group of kids to find out what they know about sex, while the parents secretly watch. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.



How do you talk to your teens about sex? Share your story.

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May 29, 2008, 2:09 pm CDT

not sure when to "start" the talk

i have 2 kids ages 10 and 11. when does a parent start the "talk" ? my kids are bright and you cant hardly put ANYTHING passed them. they have yet to formerly ask me, but they behave really weird when they see me and their stepfather being affectionate towards each other.

do i wait until they ask or bring it up myself?
 
May 29, 2008, 2:46 pm CDT

05/29 The Sex Talk

Parents need to do more than the sex talk. They need to do the sex walk. They need to be sexual role models for their children. They don't want their children to be sexually promiscuous? Then, they shouldn't be. A mother who parades men in and out of her bedroom is modeling promiscuity. And, those who let their children watch sex-filled movies and TV shows are arousing a sexual curiosity that can have some serious consequences. Including pregnancy and disease. Parents should beware of sexualizing their children. By monitoring their computer use, and TV viewing. And, setting the example they want their children to follow.
 
May 29, 2008, 2:58 pm CDT

05/29 The Sex Talk

Quote From: abohl2006

i have 2 kids ages 10 and 11. when does a parent start the "talk" ? my kids are bright and you cant hardly put ANYTHING passed them. they have yet to formerly ask me, but they behave really weird when they see me and their stepfather being affectionate towards each other.

do i wait until they ask or bring it up myself?
Do you wait until they bring up Algebra before they take a math class?

I'm not trying to be a smart ass here, I promise.

You should talk to them now....I myself have a 4 year old and she's already had more than one sex talk...(for her age of course.)
 
May 29, 2008, 3:14 pm CDT

Teen Parenthood

I would like to start off saying yes, I was a teen mother...twice. I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter 2 months after starting high school when I was 14. I did get married to my baby's father who was 19 at the time. We have been married 5 and a half years now and have had another baby girl who is now 6 months old. We have worked very hard to make our relationship work being that I spent all my teenage years married with way more responsibilities than any 14 yr. old should have to face. While my friends worried about clothes and "he said, she said" nonsense, I had real things to worry about like the electricity bill and grocery money. I feel I am fortunate to have my husband, who has always been there and has ALWAYS taken responsibility. We are now 20 and 25 and are able to provide an emotionally, mentally, and financially stable household. I am in my last semester of nursing school and my husband had taken over his family's company.

Now. While I would never blame my mother for my decisions and in no way do I imply she was a bad parent. But, I feel I had too much freedom as a young teenager. I was allowed to have a 19 yr old boyfriend! (Any 19 yr. old boy who tries to date my 14 yr. old daughter will have problems my husband and I). I totally agree you have to be open with your children and answer their questions honestly. But also you have to remember YOU are the PARENT and you must be aware of who your children are with and what they are doing. Don't be naive and be safe rather than sorry. I know that when they reach an age of 16,17,18, most teens are gonna do what they want no matter what you say. The best thing is to make sure they know facts and have resources to protect themselves if they do decide to have sex.

 
May 29, 2008, 3:26 pm CDT

Don't think Dr. Phils advice was accurate....

The parents who had the 10 yr old that searched on the internet for naked people, then they talked to him for 3-4 hrs., and Dr. Phil said it probably wasn't a good idea. WHAT? I think with todays kids it is absolutely essential that these younger kids know that this is NOT o.k. for kids their age. I have a 10 yr. old cousin that lives with our grandparents, so I often monitor what he does on the computer, and brought it to my grandparents attention, when i saw in the address bar, playboy.com. They talked to him for about 5 mins. and said if he did it again, he would not be allowed on the computer again. ONE WEEK LATER, he was doing it again, this time going under Youtube. My grandparents once again told him that he cannot be doing this, that they can go to jail, so once again said don't do it again or he can no longer get on the computer. My grandmother then asked me to put the block on, and had a password installed. About 2 weeks later she said to take it off, and guess what my cousin did? Yep, this time he thought he was being smart by putting it in the search engine and clicking on the sites through there because they don't show up on the address bar. But guess what guys? It esculated to him watching the Hard Porn, more than 20 sites for 2 weeks straight. Don't think the parents should have a long talk now Dr. Phil? If these kids don't get talked to and told that this is not right the parents will end up going to jail, so I think a long talk was good since it took 4 times for my cousin to get it, even then he still didn't, because he left his email open one day, and I read one of them to his supposed girlfriend, and he told her to wear some pretty panties. Also when asked why he kept doing this after being told that granny and papaw could go to jail, his reply was he couldn't help it, he was addicted to it. THINK ABOUT THAT DR.PHIL...........................................
 
May 29, 2008, 3:35 pm CDT

the sex talk

 i'm glad dr chirban pointed out that it really needs to be an ongoing conversation, not just one talk. it starts when they're very little, i think, with talking about where, say, puppies and kittens come from,and in time, where human babies come from. lateron it's about how they get there, and eventually about  feeelings, morals,  the risks involved,  birth control,  sexualperrpressure, etc.

i also agree with some who say that it's about morethan the sexual relations.it's also about love and respect and how lovers and/orspouses tret each other. and it invovlesanswering the unexpected  questions. you can't just sit down and say, "now this is how babies are madeand this is when it's ok to doi it" and assume you're done with it.
 
May 29, 2008, 3:44 pm CDT

SEX TALK

Dr. Phil left out the boys' responsibility in pregnancy !!!

He emphasized to the teen girl how her life would change forever and totally ignored the other half of the pregnancy,,,,,,the sperm donor !!!!  Isn't it about time to discuss the boy's responsibility in this mess??

Isn't it time to put the emphasis on boys taking responsibility for freely spreading their sperm??

I have yet to hear Dr. Phil speak to boys about keeping their zippers closed.

If a boy gets a girl pregnant he has to have the same responsibility as the girl.

What happens to the girl has to happen to the boy also.

WAKE UP Dr. Phil and stop talking from the old boys club.....shame on you.

 
May 29, 2008, 3:45 pm CDT

better late than never

Quote From: ksflwrpetals

Waiting until intermediate or middle school to talk to kids about sex is too late. It is a tragedy in today's world, but it is a reality. I work in  a middle school. One of our boy's girlfriend had a baby while he was in 7th grade. That means he impregnated her while in 6th gr. One of our 14 yr olds girlfriend had a baby this year. This kids are so sexualized at this age, that they know things we adults sometimes do not.
 true, middle school is late. kids a re hearing about sex earlier these days. and not just from the internet, etc as they mentioned on the show,but from other kids. there's always one parent who told their kid allabout intercourse at avery early age or an older brother or sister who did so. somekids willl let you ( general) know, as mine did, when they've heard something about "what men and women do" that they don't understand. others won't,but i think if you keep an open ongoing dialogue going about life, love,our bodies, etc. you may be able to "tell" when your kid is becoming curious.you certainly will leave an opening for him/her to ask questions.
 
May 29, 2008, 3:47 pm CDT

homosexual sex

I think that homosexual sex should be included in the sex talk with children because, believe it or not, heterosexuals have homosexual children.  something to consider.

 

peace all

 

 
May 29, 2008, 3:53 pm CDT

about kids who act "weird,"etc.

Quote From: PennyLane78

Do you wait until they bring up Algebra before they take a math class?

I'm not trying to be a smart ass here, I promise.

You should talk to them now....I myself have a 4 year old and she's already had more than one sex talk...(for her age of course.)
 i so agree with your post. and if a parent sees their kids "acting weird" when they are affectionate, etc. they need to start talking to them about what's going on and why it bothers the kids. i don't mean that they have to sit down and give the whole "birds and bees" explanation. but they can say somethign like,"this is how moms and dads show love for each other, etc."

however, perhaps they are showing the kids more they they can handle at their age? if they kids are just like,"eww, too mushy," they may need to learn that a litle" mushiness"is ok when peop[le really love and respect each other.but if they are really uncomfrotable,perhaps mom and dad need to keep some of their affection more private.
 
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