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Topic : 07/29 Prenup Problems

Number of Replies: 48
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Sunday, July 24, 2005, 03:39:09 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1

You’re ready to tie the knot, but how far should you go to protect your money and assets? First up, Dr. Phil looks at prenuptial disagreements making Hollywood headlines. Then, Shelby says she lost everything in a financially devastating divorce, and she wants her new man to sign a prenup. Why is he refusing? Is she being realistic or really paranoid? Next, Helen walked out on the man of her dreams when he slapped her with a prenup ... one month before the wedding! Was she right not to sign on the dotted line? Then, a millionaire with an unusual ultimatum. Talk about the show here.



 

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July 31, 2005, 4:12 pm CDT

jettav

Quote From: jettav

I feel sad for you that you fell for this, the guy couldn't even meet you half way? and you still married him. I pray that your marriage lasts and is a happy one. for me personally, I would have never married this guy even if I was already engaged to him. I believe in marriage 100% and I think you need to do everything in your power to keep your marriage strong and loving and pray that he does the same thing. I actually have mixed feelings about this subject but believe that if a couple agrees to it that it needs to be fair and worked on together which in your case this did not happen and I can understand your concern as well But it is possible to make a marriage last a life time and yes, it is 2005 but your marriage does not have to end in a divorce and that is what I would be concentrating on, not the fear of the "What Ifs", certainly a waste of time.
Hi there Jettav i thought i reckonized the post name how have you been?Do you miss the cult board?ecurtius came aboard the depression boards and we talk from time to time.take care godd bless. Oh by the way i agree with what you wrote to bcobeans.take care.cathyalien head
 
July 31, 2005, 4:16 pm CDT

kristiholb

Quote From: kristiholb

I think that if you are really in love with the person and you know in your heart that you will always be with that person then no I would not sign a prenup.If you have doubts about the person you love then yes I would sign a prenup. It all depends on if you really know the person. With me I am truely in love with my husband and I know that he would never hurt me and when we got married I knew that it would be forever and we just celebrated four years. So like I said if you truely are IN love with the person then NO.
Hi there read your post .I have to say that if you love someone yes get married ,but don't just settle and if you have doubts at all ,well don't marry .I agree if you love someone for who they are and not there wallet size yes go for it.and i want to  wish you and your husband all the best in your future.cathyalien head
 
July 31, 2005, 11:22 pm CDT

prenups smart idea

i think asking for a prenup is not saying that the marriage is not going to work its just saying just in case you cant determine what the future holds for you or your belongings americas divorce rate is horrible and its only wise to protect your assets now like the saying says better safe than sorry and i think that fits this perfectly  and if the person truly is not useing the person for money and truly feels that there marriage is going to work and has absolutly no selfish reasons for the marriage then why are they so scared to sign a prenup?
 
July 31, 2005, 11:28 pm CDT

yes give him another chance

Quote From: brittany

i am 16 and i have been single for 5months i was with this guy for almost 6 months he was like my best friend i new him for 2 years i want him back he wants to date me agian to but i dont know what i should do could any of yall help me i love him he is 18 and his name is matt do yall think i should date him
my name is kaylee  and i was with my boyfried for six months and we to broke up he was my best friend and i was truly devestated when our relationship broke up a few months later we started talking again and  we talked through our problems and decided what we had was wonderful and that we owed it to ourselfs to at least give it another shot well i'm happy to report that was 4 years ago and were still going strong so at least give him another shot so you dont always have to wonder what if i mean you never know if its meant to be it is and if its not its not but dont you owe it to yourself to at least   find out?
 
August 1, 2005, 10:33 am CDT

kaylee 1985

Quote From: kaylee1985

i think asking for a prenup is not saying that the marriage is not going to work its just saying just in case you cant determine what the future holds for you or your belongings americas divorce rate is horrible and its only wise to protect your assets now like the saying says better safe than sorry and i think that fits this perfectly  and if the person truly is not useing the person for money and truly feels that there marriage is going to work and has absolutly no selfish reasons for the marriage then why are they so scared to sign a prenup?
Hi read what you posted and for some it can be a trust issue and feel that they are not being trusted not to steal each others money or assets.So if it is the case that they love each other like you say why have to sign one if you trust each other ?You can look at it that way too .thats my oppinion on that.thanks.cow
 
August 3, 2005, 11:20 am CDT

07/29 Prenup Problems

Quote From: u092407

I am not a lawyer, but here's my advice:

 

So happy you want to do the smart thing and get a prenup. But CAREFUL!!!!! Do NOT ask your future mother-in-law to help you draw one up, as she is biased. Remember: everything in that piece of paper is binding and almost impossible to overturn. Get yourself a lawyer and draw up a reasonable agreement. If you are confident you want nothing from him, ask that he provide for any children you might get and ask to keep anything he gives you during the marriage. I would personally add a small monthly amount for myself. Or maybe a milder clause: Should you by any chance be unable to go and provide for yourself (accident leading to a disability, child with a handicap needing extensive care...), then he should provide for you.

 

Most of all: be happy...

Great advice! Thanks...
 
August 4, 2005, 10:22 am CDT

Brittany, please be careful.

Quote From: brittany

i am 16 and i have been single for 5months i was with this guy for almost 6 months he was like my best friend i new him for 2 years i want him back he wants to date me agian to but i dont know what i should do could any of yall help me i love him he is 18 and his name is matt do yall think i should date him
Brittany, you are very young. As you get older, more lifestyle skills get developed---such as having PATIENCE! Just because you're single now, it doesn't mean that you will for the rest of your life. Enjoy all the FREEDOM that you're entitled to. Being single isn't all bad. If you have a good support network where you live, then that'll ensure that you won't get lonely. Apart from that, I wish you the best.
 
August 4, 2005, 11:13 pm CDT

I was married in the 90's

Quote From: adanivea

You are clearly still in the 60s. Prenups have nothing to do with trust. Divorce and having to start all over is clearly more dampering than your perspective. It's 2005, if you don't think about taking care of yourself as well as your children.. than maybe you should stay in the 60s.
and neither one of us ever considered a prenup, and yes, I do believe that prenups have a lot to do with trust, if you trust a person then you wouldn't be trying to protect your money(nor anything else for that matter) from them. Now, As I said in a previous post, that I have mixed feelings about this whole subject but thankfully it something I don't have to deal with for my husband and I are in this marriage together and we respect our vows enough to stick with them, and what is his is mine and what is mine is his, there is no such thing as mine and yours when it comes to the bank accounts. We don't have to worry about divorce for we are in this together for a lifetime. How can people even be happy when all they think about are the "what if's"? Maybe if people would start concentrating on their marriages and the postitive side of life then maybe there wouldn't be so many negatives and doubts and concerns. we have been married for 12 in a half years and it WILL last a life time, because that is what we want and believe in. I guess it's all in the attitude. And if some one did ask for a prenup, I am not so sure I would want to marry the guy, for if he didn't trust me before the marriage then who says he would trust me after the vows were taken? Any way, just wanted others to know that there are those of us married after the 60's but no need for a prenup agreement cause we are committed.........................................
 
August 4, 2005, 11:27 pm CDT

hi cathy

Quote From: 101160

Hi there Jettav i thought i reckonized the post name how have you been?Do you miss the cult board?ecurtius came aboard the depression boards and we talk from time to time.take care godd bless. Oh by the way i agree with what you wrote to bcobeans.take care.cathyalien head
I am fine. I have read some of your posts recently. I don't respond much but I do think about everyone. I am mostly on the parenting boards but once in while will brouse and respond to a different board, sometimes just for the heck of it. LOL I have posted on the new cult board here recently, only once maybe twice, I don't know. I really don't have a desire to be on it. I would like to know what the status is on this Warren Jeffs guy though. People like him need to be locked up for life. Any way, gonna get off here and hit the bed as it is 215 in the morning and the girlies will be up early I am sure. :) ps- as far as the issue of prenups go, I guess if signing one will help build some ones trust then maybe it isn't such a bad thing? thankfully my husband and I trust each other enough that we know our marriage is for a lifetime, and besides everything is going to be the girls' someday, no need to fight over it. And who invented something like this any way? some one from Hollywood probably as how many Hollywood marriages lasts a life time? not very many that is for sure. I think they marry just so they can say they married and slept with such a wonderful popular star!!! Do they really marry out of love? One certainly has to wonder............no wonder prenups were invented, just not enough love and trust. O brother, I am off this thing................hehehehe
 
September 3, 2005, 10:31 am CDT

07/29 Prenup Problems

Quote From: bcoceans

My fiance (now husband) has a very controlling family. He is coming into some wealth, and I swear it was his family's idea. With two weeks prior to our wedding, I was handed a pre-nup. I was able to get immediate legal advice luckily from two family friends that are lawyers and advice from another outside lawyer as well.

This pre-nup was so unbelievably one sided, that if at anytime he decides to leave me, he takes everything he put into the marriage (meaning this wealth he's to come into). I will be left with nothing, even though I am bearing his children. I was advised NOT to sign it.

But what do you do when you are now a week and a half from your wedding and you love this guy?

We fought like cats and dogs for those two weeks. He told me, if you don't sign this the wedding won't happen. He got mad at me because my lawyers wanted to compromise and come up with a fair agreement.

The week of our wedding, my lawyers sent his lawyer our proposal. He told his Dad about it one night over the phone, and they got into a fight. (Which leads me to believe to this day- this wasn't just my fiance's idea).

His lawyers shot my proposal down and it wasn't even a major change. All I asked that he leaves me, then I will be covered financially. As it was written all on the pretense that "what if she leaves me" theory. I also asked to have the prenup reviewed in 7 years.

All of which he said NO to. So with 3 days to our wedding, I was forced under duress to sign. I was so heartbroken that this was written in such a manner towards me. I am terrified that if we get divorced, I will lose everything!

 

I definitely think that it should have been brought up earlier than two weeks before the wedding.  If it were me, I wouldn't have signed.  If nothing else, push the wedding date further.  I learned with my first marriage that you don't HAVE to get married if there are unresolved issues that should be dealt with.  Sure, reservations would have to be canceled, money was already spent, but that is not comparable to what the future could hold. 

  

I think there are people out there that purposely choose to wait this long (allowing short time to wedding) before forcing the prenup issue.  this way, if the intended says no, than it can "be about the prenup", in reality, it's about being a bully by not giving the other person plenty of time for researching and thinking. 

  

Remember, if you signed the prenup,  and you divorce, you will lose everything. 

 
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