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Topic : 07/07 Adult Sibling Rivalry

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Created on : Thursday, July 03, 2008, 12:59:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
As a kid, it's normal to fight with a sibling, but what if you grow up to find your brother or sister to be your most-hated enemy? Jodi says what started as an argument with her sister, Shannon, over a pair of pants when they were teens has turned into a spiteful, wicked war. Shannon admits she disowned Jodi, but Jodi has no idea why her sister hates her so much! Will these women decide to bury the hatchet now that their father is fighting for his life? And, twins Kim and Kristen's war of words that began as children has turned into an all-out battle, including an incident in which Kristen broke an umbrella over her sister! What's at the root of their bickering? Is it too late to rekindle their sisterly bond? Tell us what you think.

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November 26, 2008, 9:30 am CST

07/07 Adult Sibling Rivalry

Quote From: lstewart3

For many years I worried too much about what others thought of me and that includes my family. I'm now at a point in my life where I'd rather concentrate on those who do love and care for me. Some of my closest "family" are people who are not biological related to me. I've come to realize that sharing DNA with someone doesn't necessarily make them your family.
I feel the same as you do...many years trying to make things ok, but not anymore.  Some people will never change with their hurtful ways.  Why would anyone want to remain in that atmosphere, family or not?  I'm completely done with that and have moved on...for my own mental health and well being.
 
March 28, 2009, 8:16 pm CDT

A Sister Who Tries to Resolve Issues From The Past

I was always told that my younger sister misses me, or my younger sister wants to hang out sometime and that I should "bury the hachet" with her and go along with her outright personality. To tell you the truth, I can't stand her! I don't know who can! She's annoying, vindictive, a manipulator and an overall flake. She acts as if she's drunk half the time, and does go out and parties while dropping her one child off at my parents house without asking! My father, a miserable man himself, cannot stand people in general. He encourages her behavior by obeying and allowing her to come to his house and bark orders at him. Whether it's screaming down the stairs at him to change his granddaughters diaper, or grab her almost 2 year old's bottle it's me on my guard 24/7! There hasn't been peace in this family for over 17 years! Everytime my father mentions my sisters name, and I make some kind of an opinion, Im automatically accused of attacking her and shooting her down! For example, today I went for a visit to my parents house to spend the weekend with them since I live over an hour away. My parents knew I was coming over for a whole week. I arrive at the house, and the first thing my father says to me as I get out of my car is that my sister's sick. My sister thinks the growth that was taken out of her ovaries came back and now is causing a considerable amount of pain. Over-reaction perhaps? I mean she complains about her muscle aches and back aches etc. and she's only 22 years old! She seems fine to me enough to go out partying and drinking without her kid, right? Well, without concern, I asked is there anything her physician can do and if so what… the conversation ended when I changed the subject. I continued to the backyard where I worked on airbrushing my father's helmet while my daughter was playing on the swings. My sister awoke from her usual 4 hour afternoon nap from the upstairs bedroom, and came downstairs with her kid. Automatically she demands me to watch her kid so she can go to the bathroom. She comes back down, and starts in her drama about her ex-bf and how she's going to put a restraining order on him if he comes near her daughter. I don't need to know her problems! I have my own! Besides, what gives her the right to burst into anger when i kindly ask her to stop right there, and keep it to herself!? That kind of stuff you need to keep to yourself. She went upstairs to gather her stuff all upset and everything, storming, and as my aunt kathy comes in with her two wild grandsons, my sister comes downstairs and points at me saying "I don't want to be by "IT" when Im here!" Of course my father follows her outside trying to get the whole picture, while my aunt asks me "now what did you do". Im thinking to myself, so what, when she gets upset, everyone jumps to her command?! Everyone's afraid to stand up and say something? It got so repulsive, that both my aunt and father told me to grow up and that when danielle isn't here that Im not allowed to come down. This is ridiculous. All because of the request I asked she overreacts. I said a few words to my aunt anyhow, asked her what she knows about respect since she was the one who gave me the black eye at 12 years old. Her response was you were just a teenager. I don't care what age you are, you keep your hands to yourself no matter what! Im 25 years old now, and I still have alot to grow up and learn about. But for her to sit there and get involved with a family feud is none of her business. My aunt is 50 years old arguing with a 25 year old. It's called walking away witch!
 
April 12, 2009, 11:54 pm CDT

mean and nasty comments.

I hv 2 Brothers,1 Sister & we are all above the age of 55. Our Mother is in her 80's & she is constantly putting me down and insulting me front of my children and others, she has done this for most of my life. She loves men, including my 2 Brothers. My Sister and I hv been so unimportant to her and she always seemed to resent any attention that our , now deceased, Father gave us girls. My older Sister stopped visiting her and going to Family functions years ago, and my oldest Brother stopped seeing Mom as well. My oldest Brother ,while he has his faults like all of us, is a very honorable person. And he stopped seeing my Mother because he saw how badly she treated my Sister, Me, his Wife and Daughters. All of us visited there on a fairly regular basis w/ our children for many years when our Father was living but there were lines that Mom didn't cross when Dad was around.

Now that my oldest Brother doesn't visit her anymore she only has 1 son to dote on, my younger Brother. And dote she does. He has been a real problem most of his life. drugs, etc. He has tricked Mom out of money and property and she has always defended him. He has seemly been doing well over the past 10 years or so but he is so very nasty and mean to me.  I never retaliate because my Mom would get involved and defend him. He is perfect in her eyes.

Easter was awful there today for me; While I was quietly sitting at the table someone brought up the subject of intelligence & my Mom thought that was a good time to tell everyone that I had no common sense. 

Later we were talking about people that we grew up and I reminded my younger Brother about a neighbor girl that we once knew when he was about 7 yrs old and asked if he remembered that Dad always teased him about being her boyfriend. I thought that we'd get a laugh out it but he jumped up into my face in front of 2 of my children and others there; he nastily shouted that I had no idea what I was even saying because I was crazy and I had always been crazy and everyone knew it. I was so embarrassed and hurt that I was speechless but I should have spilled the Family secrets about the number of times that he'd been  picked up and put into a Psych ward, and everything else outrageous that he had done. I never felt as though I needed to defend my sanity before ,especially to him.

 
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