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Topic : 07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Number of Replies: 64
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Created on : Thursday, July 03, 2008, 01:00:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil opens up his mailbag to answer your burning questions! Amanda has been wanting plastic surgery since she was 16, and now that she's an adult, she's asked her sister, Angel, for birthday money so she can get liposuction and breast implants. She’s even considering dropping out of college so she can save money for the many procedures she wants. Angel worries her little sister could become addicted to cosmetic surgery. Next, will Michael’s plastic surgery nightmare change Amanda’s mind? Unsatisfied with the results of his first rhinoplasty, Michael found a world-renowned plastic surgeon to perform his second. When he got home, he documented the horrific result -- the tip of his nose turning black and falling off. See why he’s had three surgeries so far and plans on more. Then, Amber recently learned that her husband, Ron, had an affair. She says can't stop thinking about the other woman and doubts she'll ever get over it. Why does Ron think the affair had a positive effect on their marriage? Plus, meet a wife and mother torn between her career and her family, and don't miss a ravishing audience room makeover by Robin!  Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 8, 2008, 2:14 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: benc789

If a man vows to be faithful, this only applies until his wife refuses to have sex with him.  Once she decides to be celibate, the vow to be faithful is over.

And, suppose you become impotent? would that relieve your wife of her vow to be faithful? I always thought marriage was much more than just sex!
 
July 8, 2008, 2:28 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

I'm glad Dr Phil arranged therapy for Amanda. That girl needs a head exam for worse than she needs plastic surgery. Her unhappiness is obviously far more than skin-deep. And, no amount of plastic surgery is going to change it. It will only make her a plastic surgery addict. Dr Phil has had such women on past shows. One such woman, after at least a dozen procedures, looked like a mad-scientist's creation. Yet, still wanted more. Ever thinking "just one more" would make her happy.
 
July 8, 2008, 2:30 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: courtneyb26

I don't know why whenever a woman is cheated on she is ready to kill the other woman, but barely says boo about her husband's involvement, I'm sure he wasn't held down and raped, she should be angry at HIM, he's the one who took vows to be faithful to her, not the other woman, who had no obligations to her.
Oh no, believe me she wanted to kill me too. The difference is she was able to look me in the face and tell me what she thought. With the other person she wasnt able to look that person in the face and express her anger. But believe me, I got mine.
 
July 8, 2008, 2:33 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: ramair

I agree with everything you just said.
And, would add this.
Since he's doing the bare minimum to get by in his HS classes, college would be a waste of time and money. "Getting by" in college requires much more effort than passing HS classes. And, I doubt this boy has the motivation to do even that. Besides, I suspect he's looking at college as a way hold adult responsibilities, such as getting a job, at bay. Unless his mother takes action now, she'll probably be saddled with a moocher.
I agree with you completely again! That's weird! LOLOL
 
July 8, 2008, 2:38 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: benc789

If a man vows to be faithful, this only applies until his wife refuses to have sex with him.  Once she decides to be celibate, the vow to be faithful is over.

Sorry to burst your bubble but there was no refusal to have sex. We did just fine and probibly better than most. No less than 5 times a week and most days even twice. The lack of having sex was not any sort of factor. Just plain old good stupidity.
 
July 8, 2008, 2:39 pm CDT

Miss Amanda Plastic-Surgery-Wannabe...

I tried, I really tried to put myself in Amanda's place, to empathize with her. While normally, I can twist my head around to see at least something of where the other person is coming from, in her case, I just can't wrap my head around it. She's not happy with her appearance? TOUGH! JOIN THE CLUB!! For every Jessica Alba, there are at least 10 others of us schlubs - ugly bags of gelatinous goo on legs. If we all put that much of our sense of self into our looks, we would likely pass the gun around and shoot ourselves dead, because most of us don't look half as good as Amanda does right out of the box - just as God and biology made her. She doesn't look like Jessica Simpson? Give me a break.... Good skin, clear eyes, healthy teeth, the right number of arms and legs, bi-laterally symmetrical, generally height/weight proportional - most of us would be thrilled to be able to check "YES" on every one of these boxes. But Amanda  has something extra - facial features and proportions that fall within the narrow mathematical set of ratios that scientific research has determined constitute universal norms of human female beauty that transcend race, ethnicity and culture. She's not just a good biological specimen, she is an aesthetically very agreeable one.

Good God! What more does she want?!! She has a scar on her lip? That just proves she isn't computer-generated. (Even so, Dr. Phil's show doesn't broadcast in High Definition so I had to take her word on that; I couldn't see the alleged flaw on my plasma.) That she says she is willing to risk being turned into a troll by some knife-wielding butcher, rather than live on with her present appearance, is very disturbing to me. If she doesn't get some therapy soon, she will be in serious trouble when she is my age of 57 and like all of us, clearly shows signs of going to seed. Or worse, after she has, like the Jackson kids Michael, Janet and LaToya, undergone two or three botched plastic surgeries too many, and she looks not only older, but fit for a carnival freak show to boot! THAT would really be a tragedy.

Amanda... you are beautiful just as you are. If you don't FEEL beautiful, so what? I don't feel beautiful either. I'm a 57-year-old, 6-foot 3-inch, graying, bald, somewhat paunchy, knuckle-dragging quasi-australopithecine who can best be described as a cross between Dr. Phil and Homer Simpson. I look like nearly every high school kid's dad whom they are a little ashamed to be seen with. And who the hell cares?! I occasionally look somewhat wistfully at my pictures of myself as a 20-something stud-muffin, but I don't dwell on it, and damned if I'm going to throw good money at getting hair plugs and lipo and pec and ab implants, etc. I was a stud-muffin, now I'm a bag of gelatinous goo on legs - Sic transit gloria....

If you can't feel as beautiful as you are, it becomes doubly important that you find a way to feel worthwhile regardless. Beauty has a short shelf-life anyway. Statistically speaking, female beauty is thought to peak between the ages of 27 and 33. If you think you have problems with your appearance now, wait until you get up one morning, sometime near age 50, look into the bathroom mirror and see not yourself, but your mother staring back at you! (My "Oh My God!! I Look Like My DAD!" moment hit me at about age 48.) That is the crossroads - when your self-image faces the reality check - when you transition forever from "pretty woman" to "distinguished matron." Into middle age, your mental health requires that your sense of self-worth be founded on other than external appearance. Right now, Amanda, appreciate that you look nearly as good as you will ever look and very pretty indeed. It will be best if you learn to love it while it lasts and resist the temptation to screw it up with unnecessary surgery.

I don't mean to beat up on plastic surgeons... OK... I guess I do mean to beat up on plastic surgeons. So many seem to be mercenary, slicing, dicing, silicone-stuffing ghouls who exploit and extract obscene profit from peoples' emotional insecurities. But they fulfill a valid medical purpose, to correct physical deformations due to birth defect or serious injury. Amanda, you clearly suffer from neither.
 
July 8, 2008, 3:05 pm CDT

poor woman

Quote From: ron_amber

Sorry to burst your bubble but there was no refusal to have sex. We did just fine and probibly better than most. No less than 5 times a week and most days even twice. The lack of having sex was not any sort of factor. Just plain old good stupidity.

Then how did he have the energy for the other woman? 

 
July 8, 2008, 3:13 pm CDT

Have strength Amber

I won't waist time talking about how i found out my ex-husband cheated, the point is he did.  He was the first person i was ever with, we were together sinces i was 15. it happend when i was 22.  The point i want to make is, Amber you will never get the image out of your mind of the two of them together, and that is not a bad thing.  That is the problem we had, we went to counsling, tried to talk out what we felt, he was sorry, but in the end the image was still there.  But i am glad it was, i left him, took our son, and know have a life were i dont worry.  There is no questioning.  Yes i am insecure with my current relationship, but i am happy.  I got to grow as a person and durring that time i developed a back bone.  I know who i am and love me.  My ex cheatting on me hurt and after five years it still does, but i learned life lessons, and am thankful for that.  I just wanted to say hand in there Amber, have faith in yourself and your choises, and things will get better.  Your are a good person and mother.

P.S. Sorry for the miss spelling, it is my weak spot

 
July 8, 2008, 3:41 pm CDT

Ron's quotes from show

Quote From: ron_amber

Sorry to burst your bubble but there was no refusal to have sex. We did just fine and probibly better than most. No less than 5 times a week and most days even twice. The lack of having sex was not any sort of factor. Just plain old good stupidity.
So did he want "more affection" and feel "very rejected" if he was having sex more than five times a week?
 
July 8, 2008, 3:44 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: benc789

If a man vows to be faithful, this only applies until his wife refuses to have sex with him.  Once she decides to be celibate, the vow to be faithful is over.

No, that is up to each individual couple. If that is what you and your wife decided on, good for you. But is hardly a universal law.

Does this apply both ways btw?
 
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