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Topic : 07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

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Created on : Thursday, July 03, 2008, 01:00:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil opens up his mailbag to answer your burning questions! Amanda has been wanting plastic surgery since she was 16, and now that she's an adult, she's asked her sister, Angel, for birthday money so she can get liposuction and breast implants. She’s even considering dropping out of college so she can save money for the many procedures she wants. Angel worries her little sister could become addicted to cosmetic surgery. Next, will Michael’s plastic surgery nightmare change Amanda’s mind? Unsatisfied with the results of his first rhinoplasty, Michael found a world-renowned plastic surgeon to perform his second. When he got home, he documented the horrific result -- the tip of his nose turning black and falling off. See why he’s had three surgeries so far and plans on more. Then, Amber recently learned that her husband, Ron, had an affair. She says can't stop thinking about the other woman and doubts she'll ever get over it. Why does Ron think the affair had a positive effect on their marriage? Plus, meet a wife and mother torn between her career and her family, and don't miss a ravishing audience room makeover by Robin!  Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 8, 2008, 5:31 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: angelface_

Ron you have got to start taking responsibility for your actions. Until you can understand the pain your actions have caused Amber, as Dr Phil said there is no way this marriage can move forward. If things were that bad in your marriage you should have tried to communicate this to your wife instead of using it as an excuse to cheat! I unfortunately speak from experience. Unfortunately it wasn't until about 4 years after we split, that he got it. By then it was to late.

I took responsibility from the start. Thanks to the miracle of TV editing to fit it in the slot there was alot of the story not there. And of course to make it more interesting to the audience. Thats fine with me though, I looked like and ass to start with. Rightfully so. I am the one who wrote in to be on the show because I really didnt care what other people think of me, all that mattered was trying to get the best help we could. For the record too, I do understand the pain and I hope to god I never have to go through it.

 

As for it seeming like we just didnt have sex for awhile and I ran out and found some thats just not the case. We had communication problems and having sex is not the only way to be intimate. We had sex all the time because were both good at it. But aside from good sex that special connection wasnt there for a long while. That feeling that your special to someone and they care about you. The lack of hugs, kisses, caring, ect.  I spent about 4 years trying every way I could think of to explain how I felt. Most of the time Amber just took it as me bitching and didnt understand it was hurting me. It got to a point I was ready to just quit because nothing I tried to explain or say went anywhere, I just gave up and figured it wasnt going to work. Thats when my attention turned toward this other person.

 

The affair lasted a month and a half and was over weeks before Amber found out about our meeting. I've been in alot of bars, alot of fights, and seen some amazing things. Nothing compares to a small texas woman who is angry. She may be small but she had me scared. After some of the anger and excitement calmed down we started talking like weve never talked before. We were open, honest, and best of all actually hearing the other person. Its been about 9 months since the affair and were still doing really well.

 

Now, as for me cheating. Yes it happened, yes I did it. It may not have made it on the show but from the monent it happened I blamed no one but myself. It shouldnt have happend, will never happen again, and I have no magical excuse for it. If I could have taken it back I would have. I used to be so judgmental towards friends of mine who cheated on there wives, even lost a few friends because I looked down on them for it. Cheating was such a negitive and unforgivable thing in my mind. Boy did I get a huge dose of reality. I have learned alot about myself since. 

 
July 8, 2008, 5:39 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: benc789

If a man vows to be faithful, this only applies until his wife refuses to have sex with him.  Once she decides to be celibate, the vow to be faithful is over.

Oh, I see. So in your world, vows should only be honored IF it's convenient for you, and only if everything is going your way?

 

 

 
July 8, 2008, 5:49 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: ron_amber

I took responsibility from the start. Thanks to the miracle of TV editing to fit it in the slot there was alot of the story not there. And of course to make it more interesting to the audience. Thats fine with me though, I looked like and ass to start with. Rightfully so. I am the one who wrote in to be on the show because I really didnt care what other people think of me, all that mattered was trying to get the best help we could. For the record too, I do understand the pain and I hope to god I never have to go through it.

 

As for it seeming like we just didnt have sex for awhile and I ran out and found some thats just not the case. We had communication problems and having sex is not the only way to be intimate. We had sex all the time because were both good at it. But aside from good sex that special connection wasnt there for a long while. That feeling that your special to someone and they care about you. The lack of hugs, kisses, caring, ect.  I spent about 4 years trying every way I could think of to explain how I felt. Most of the time Amber just took it as me bitching and didnt understand it was hurting me. It got to a point I was ready to just quit because nothing I tried to explain or say went anywhere, I just gave up and figured it wasnt going to work. Thats when my attention turned toward this other person.

 

The affair lasted a month and a half and was over weeks before Amber found out about our meeting. I've been in alot of bars, alot of fights, and seen some amazing things. Nothing compares to a small texas woman who is angry. She may be small but she had me scared. After some of the anger and excitement calmed down we started talking like weve never talked before. We were open, honest, and best of all actually hearing the other person. Its been about 9 months since the affair and were still doing really well.

 

Now, as for me cheating. Yes it happened, yes I did it. It may not have made it on the show but from the monent it happened I blamed no one but myself. It shouldnt have happend, will never happen again, and I have no magical excuse for it. If I could have taken it back I would have. I used to be so judgmental towards friends of mine who cheated on there wives, even lost a few friends because I looked down on them for it. Cheating was such a negitive and unforgivable thing in my mind. Boy did I get a huge dose of reality. I have learned alot about myself since. 

Sorry about my last post, I thought this was Amber.

BTW, I know many people will not respond to this post kindly, but I want you to know that I believe what you say and I don't think you are a monster...I think you are a human being who did something very selfish...and are now doing the right thing.
 
July 8, 2008, 5:55 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: weirving

I tried, I really tried to put myself in Amanda's place, to empathize with her. While normally, I can twist my head around to see at least something of where the other person is coming from, in her case, I just can't wrap my head around it. She's not happy with her appearance? TOUGH! JOIN THE CLUB!! For every Jessica Alba, there are at least 10 others of us schlubs - ugly bags of gelatinous goo on legs. If we all put that much of our sense of self into our looks, we would likely pass the gun around and shoot ourselves dead, because most of us don't look half as good as Amanda does right out of the box - just as God and biology made her. She doesn't look like Jessica Simpson? Give me a break.... Good skin, clear eyes, healthy teeth, the right number of arms and legs, bi-laterally symmetrical, generally height/weight proportional - most of us would be thrilled to be able to check "YES" on every one of these boxes. But Amanda  has something extra - facial features and proportions that fall within the narrow mathematical set of ratios that scientific research has determined constitute universal norms of human female beauty that transcend race, ethnicity and culture. She's not just a good biological specimen, she is an aesthetically very agreeable one.

Good God! What more does she want?!! She has a scar on her lip? That just proves she isn't computer-generated. (Even so, Dr. Phil's show doesn't broadcast in High Definition so I had to take her word on that; I couldn't see the alleged flaw on my plasma.) That she says she is willing to risk being turned into a troll by some knife-wielding butcher, rather than live on with her present appearance, is very disturbing to me. If she doesn't get some therapy soon, she will be in serious trouble when she is my age of 57 and like all of us, clearly shows signs of going to seed. Or worse, after she has, like the Jackson kids Michael, Janet and LaToya, undergone two or three botched plastic surgeries too many, and she looks not only older, but fit for a carnival freak show to boot! THAT would really be a tragedy.

Amanda... you are beautiful just as you are. If you don't FEEL beautiful, so what? I don't feel beautiful either. I'm a 57-year-old, 6-foot 3-inch, graying, bald, somewhat paunchy, knuckle-dragging quasi-australopithecine who can best be described as a cross between Dr. Phil and Homer Simpson. I look like nearly every high school kid's dad whom they are a little ashamed to be seen with. And who the hell cares?! I occasionally look somewhat wistfully at my pictures of myself as a 20-something stud-muffin, but I don't dwell on it, and damned if I'm going to throw good money at getting hair plugs and lipo and pec and ab implants, etc. I was a stud-muffin, now I'm a bag of gelatinous goo on legs - Sic transit gloria....

If you can't feel as beautiful as you are, it becomes doubly important that you find a way to feel worthwhile regardless. Beauty has a short shelf-life anyway. Statistically speaking, female beauty is thought to peak between the ages of 27 and 33. If you think you have problems with your appearance now, wait until you get up one morning, sometime near age 50, look into the bathroom mirror and see not yourself, but your mother staring back at you! (My "Oh My God!! I Look Like My DAD!" moment hit me at about age 48.) That is the crossroads - when your self-image faces the reality check - when you transition forever from "pretty woman" to "distinguished matron." Into middle age, your mental health requires that your sense of self-worth be founded on other than external appearance. Right now, Amanda, appreciate that you look nearly as good as you will ever look and very pretty indeed. It will be best if you learn to love it while it lasts and resist the temptation to screw it up with unnecessary surgery.

I don't mean to beat up on plastic surgeons... OK... I guess I do mean to beat up on plastic surgeons. So many seem to be mercenary, slicing, dicing, silicone-stuffing ghouls who exploit and extract obscene profit from peoples' emotional insecurities. But they fulfill a valid medical purpose, to correct physical deformations due to birth defect or serious injury. Amanda, you clearly suffer from neither.

My goodness! You sure are being hard on yourself! If that is your picture with your post, I have to disagree with your personal assessment.

 

Any woman of substance will look past a guy's superficial appearance if he has a great personality and makes her laugh right from the start. THEN she can get to know you. What a woman does not find attractive is if a guy puts himself down; it makes for an uncomfortable situation.

 

I thought you had some very common sense things to say..... but, personally, I believe there are many, many mature men and women who look way better now than they did when they were younger!

 
July 8, 2008, 6:29 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: darlingirl622

I am in need of guidance.  I have one child remaining at home (17 years old).  He stays in his room 24/7 -- does not go out of the house.  This has been going on for a couple of years now.  He does not have any friends except online.  He stays on his computer communicating with these friends or playing games and listening to music.  I have tried to get him to come out and communicate with him.

 

My concern is -- is this good for him?  I have told him I feel he needs to find an outlet outside the house -- like a job.  I am clueless as to what to do to help him prepare for adult life.  I feel he needs to get out and prepare himself for this; am I wrong?  He keeps telling me he wants to go to college after he graduates next year but I keep reminding him that his actions are not what his words are stating. 

 

He does what he has to to get by in school work and he has had many opportunities to improve his work ethnics but he tells me he is not motivated.  Well, I told him that motivation does not come naturally.  It is something that has to be worked on.

 

I am at a point that I don't know what action to take -- I have another son who is 27 but he does not do well either -- he is currently in jail for drug/alcohol related activiites.  He is receiving treatment at a state center.

 

My concern is that my sons are hiding from reality -- the oldest does it through drugs and alcohol and now the youngest does it through being alone and the internet with a lack of interest in outisde world.  I realize that the oldest is out of my hands -- it is time for him to take rein on his own life but I am still responsible for the youngest.  What do I do?

 

As I have mentioned in profile I am visually impaired so it takes me a long time to read or find things on the internet -- has Dr Phil had this type of behavior before?

 

Help!

My brother was like this from the time my parents got him his first video game at age 14 until a few weeks until he turned 18 when he realized he needed to break away from his computer and live in the real world. He got rid of his computer and went to summer camp to make friends because he realized he was addicted to the online world and it was sucking away his life. The thing is, your son is probably not going to do that on his own so you need to be the catalyst for him. Because he is 17 you have a very small window left until his is an adult and you need to act now. You need to completely take away his computer and sign him up for activities that force him to interact with people, and possibly even take him to therapy. You need to do whatever it takes. Good luck and be strong! Don't give in to him no matter how much he begs for his computer back - he'll thank you some day I know it.
 
July 8, 2008, 6:43 pm CDT

Dr. Phil is HALF Wrong

I agree that if her husband can't understand the gravity of what he has done that they should get a divorce.


But he is DEAD WRONG on that it is any part her fault for being too tuned into her children and being a mom instead of being her husband's best friend.

 

This is partially a FREE PASS to all the guys who claim they do their online romancing because they are lonely.  They do it because they belive they can get away with it.

 

My ex-husband had online affairs, he was the one who moved away from the real world relationship where despite having children I was trying my best to be his companion and even slept with him 3 times a week.

 

Frankly to these men the time they spend online where they are "perfect" and someone wants to chat with them all day about what a sexy beast they are is worth withdrawing from a real world where your wife knows all your faults but loves you anyway. In the real world there are crisises that can't be wiped out with smiley faces and phone sex.

 

Dr. Phil never called him on his more than 100 messages a day to the other woman.  What in his "real" life was he neglecting to do all of those? Was he taking from his family to pay for his activities?

 

A real world wife cannot compete with an online mistress who tells him how perfect he is, sends him naughty pictures, and agrees what a bitch his partner must be for having real adult expectations of him. These affairs end when the real world creeps in, then they just put that partner on ignore and look for another.

 

His BS that his online affair made his marriage better is straight from a popular website which is not written by a marriage or family therapist, but a husband and wife who hold this opinion. Its real popular in the I have just been caught crowd and is the first link in many search engines when you type in that question.

 

I bet you anything that he was the one who withdrew first to something more exciting, but he just can't see it. It happens slowly sneaking out into the yard to send a few texts, and getting up late at night.  My ex husband even admits that by the end when he was caught by his employer that he was never emotionally present with his family because he had 3 women all fighting over him which was much more exciting.

 

Dr. Phil you are wrong. When your man is deadset on living the fantasy and withdraws into it there is nothing a good wife and mother can do.  I suggest you look into the fantasy life these men live.

 

My own ex-husband has lost not only a marriage of 10 years, but any contact with his 2 children, along with at least 3 jobs because his life is centered on a computer fantasy world.  He does not engage with the real world any longer.  He is not alone.  It is a crisis facing many families, and placing any piece of the blame on a woman for being dedicated to her children is not the answer.  As far as I know there is no cure, there is no doctor out there combating men leaving their families to join virtual opium dens. There are lots of ways to hide it, and lots of ways to get away with it until he is finally caught and the wife is left to live with the unbearable pressure of trying to save a marriage in a world where many therapists do not understand the emotional thrill the man got from it the whole time.

 
July 8, 2008, 7:09 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: chriskramar

I agree that if her husband can't understand the gravity of what he has done that they should get a divorce.


But he is DEAD WRONG on that it is any part her fault for being too tuned into her children and being a mom instead of being her husband's best friend.

 

This is partially a FREE PASS to all the guys who claim they do their online romancing because they are lonely.  They do it because they belive they can get away with it.

 

My ex-husband had online affairs, he was the one who moved away from the real world relationship where despite having children I was trying my best to be his companion and even slept with him 3 times a week.

 

Frankly to these men the time they spend online where they are "perfect" and someone wants to chat with them all day about what a sexy beast they are is worth withdrawing from a real world where your wife knows all your faults but loves you anyway. In the real world there are crisises that can't be wiped out with smiley faces and phone sex.

 

Dr. Phil never called him on his more than 100 messages a day to the other woman.  What in his "real" life was he neglecting to do all of those? Was he taking from his family to pay for his activities?

 

A real world wife cannot compete with an online mistress who tells him how perfect he is, sends him naughty pictures, and agrees what a bitch his partner must be for having real adult expectations of him. These affairs end when the real world creeps in, then they just put that partner on ignore and look for another.

 

His BS that his online affair made his marriage better is straight from a popular website which is not written by a marriage or family therapist, but a husband and wife who hold this opinion. Its real popular in the I have just been caught crowd and is the first link in many search engines when you type in that question.

 

I bet you anything that he was the one who withdrew first to something more exciting, but he just can't see it. It happens slowly sneaking out into the yard to send a few texts, and getting up late at night.  My ex husband even admits that by the end when he was caught by his employer that he was never emotionally present with his family because he had 3 women all fighting over him which was much more exciting.

 

Dr. Phil you are wrong. When your man is deadset on living the fantasy and withdraws into it there is nothing a good wife and mother can do.  I suggest you look into the fantasy life these men live.

 

My own ex-husband has lost not only a marriage of 10 years, but any contact with his 2 children, along with at least 3 jobs because his life is centered on a computer fantasy world.  He does not engage with the real world any longer.  He is not alone.  It is a crisis facing many families, and placing any piece of the blame on a woman for being dedicated to her children is not the answer.  As far as I know there is no cure, there is no doctor out there combating men leaving their families to join virtual opium dens. There are lots of ways to hide it, and lots of ways to get away with it until he is finally caught and the wife is left to live with the unbearable pressure of trying to save a marriage in a world where many therapists do not understand the emotional thrill the man got from it the whole time.

I didnt neglect my family one bit while all that text messaging was going on. I was working about 16 hours a day on a oil rig 6 hours from home. One thing you said that really disturbs me is "and even slept with him 3 times a week.".  When you start refering to sex with your husband as a chore you do so many times a week then that special flame isnt there. I didnt get that the affair made my marriage better from anywhere. It opened up our lines of communication which can lead to healing in our relationship. I hope you realize your relationship isnt just a job you do but your life.  Dont look at it like " these are the things I need to do to be viewed as a good wife" and expect to be a good wife. Chances are if your looking at it like that happieness wont last long.
 
July 8, 2008, 7:24 pm CDT

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!....

Quote From: cndrlla

My goodness! You sure are being hard on yourself! If that is your picture with your post, I have to disagree with your personal assessment.

 

Any woman of substance will look past a guy's superficial appearance if he has a great personality and makes her laugh right from the start. THEN she can get to know you. What a woman does not find attractive is if a guy puts himself down; it makes for an uncomfortable situation.

 

I thought you had some very common sense things to say..... but, personally, I believe there are many, many mature men and women who look way better now than they did when they were younger!

The picture you see is a picture of myself behind the wheel of my car. My head, chin and ears are not normally that pointed!!! I altered the picture with Adobe Photoshop to make myself look like more like a troll, or a conehead! (Remember the Coneheads, the alien couple played by Jane Curtin and Dan Akroyd in the original Saturday Night Live?)

I do not think I was "putting myself down." I think I was being realistic. OK... I guess I have some "issues" myself. At age 48, I was stricken by a chronic immune system disease - not life-threatening, but somewhat debilitating and definitely annoying. A side-effect is that my appearance aged a decade virtually overnight. I used to be a young-looking 40-something guy with a full head of brown hair, and in fit, trim condition. Most of my students (I taught at a university) seemed genuinely shocked when learning how old I really was, and while I maintained complete fidelity to my wife, I was, on occasion, sought out by women 20 years my junior.

But when I got sick, the drugs I had to take (and STILL have to take) made me put on weight. What's more, a major symptom of my illness is chronic, bone-crushing nearly constant fatigue, making exercise of any kind very difficult. Further, I suffered a serious physical injury at about that same time while playing ice hockey - a full quadricep rupture. It took surgery and a full year of rehab just to regain my ability to walk. The physical activities I used to enjoy are now simply out of the question these days. So in just a short period, I gained 60 pounds that I have yet to be able to shed. Lastly - I don't really know whether it is the cocktail of medications I take - or just the emotional stresses I have endured, but my hair fell out seemingly overnight and what's left of it has turned gray - again nearly overnight. If one saw my drivers license picture of today and compared it one from 10 years ago, you would see on the latter hand, a guy who could pass for 35, and on the former, a guy who could pass for 65. This has been quite a shock. I was one of those guys who was hardly ever sick - never smoked, drank modestly, didn't use drugs, kept reasonably fit. And overnight it was taken away from me.

That is perhaps why I couldn't wrap my head around someone like Amanda. She's beautiful... if I were single and a few decades younger, I'd surely consider her worth asking for a date. And nearly any guy like me with two working eyes in his head would likely say the same, including guys richer and better-looking than I. She needs to enjoy what she has NOW! I think I know better than most that it will be taken away from her too soon for her taste either by time or by events. But if she goes to one of these flesh-sculpting knife-jockeys, all bets are off. All she will gain for sure is that warm and fuzzy feeling from paying to put one of her doctor's children through Harvard.
 
July 8, 2008, 8:08 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: ron_amber

I didnt neglect my family one bit while all that text messaging was going on. I was working about 16 hours a day on a oil rig 6 hours from home. One thing you said that really disturbs me is "and even slept with him 3 times a week.".  When you start refering to sex with your husband as a chore you do so many times a week then that special flame isnt there. I didnt get that the affair made my marriage better from anywhere. It opened up our lines of communication which can lead to healing in our relationship. I hope you realize your relationship isnt just a job you do but your life.  Dont look at it like " these are the things I need to do to be viewed as a good wife" and expect to be a good wife. Chances are if your looking at it like that happieness wont last long.

Seriously - you were either taking time from your work or your family to type these messages. There is in the very least EMOTIONAL energy expended to keep this sexual tension going and the secret excitement flowing.

 

I say that I slept with him 3 times a week as a way to convey that I thought we were really close.  We talked every day.  We went on family outings and even had date nights. He would call me many times a day to talk, all while he had a chat window open to one of his other women. We shared the same car to and from work.  I NEVER in a million years thought that the business trips I was dropping him off at the airport for were actually covers to go have sex with women he met online - but they were.

 

No woman is safe from this happening.  There are guides online about how to get away with it.

 

I was a good wife to him.  I stood by him for 10 years, including 2 hospitalizations for despression which turned out to be when he could not cope with his real and virtual world colliding.  I forgave him the first 2 times I found internet affairs because I believed it was best for my kids.

 

All that happens is that you learn how to become a better liar, and how to make her feel sorry for you that you are too sick to control yourself.

 

Real father are really there, for their families and do not need to escape into a fantasy to soothe poor self esteem.

 

Lines of communication are great, but when one side is giving bogus information to therapists who do not understand the web of internet sex scandals and the high you get from it, there can be no healing.  I went to one year of therapy to learn that my ex-husband never was going to understand the gravity of what he had done to my life. I knew that if I stayed with him I could never trust him on a computer again, and that was his career.  He worked for the Federal Government and lost his job because while under much more intensive treatment for what was diagnosed as depression, he STILL could not stop.

 

Seriously someone who knows how this cycle works should go a few rounds to the third degree to realize how much time and emotional effort was taken away from your real world to do this.

 

Thank god it has been 5 years now and my life is much better!

 
July 8, 2008, 10:55 pm CDT

07/08 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: weirving

The picture you see is a picture of myself behind the wheel of my car. My head, chin and ears are not normally that pointed!!! I altered the picture with Adobe Photoshop to make myself look like more like a troll, or a conehead! (Remember the Coneheads, the alien couple played by Jane Curtin and Dan Akroyd in the original Saturday Night Live?)

I do not think I was "putting myself down." I think I was being realistic. OK... I guess I have some "issues" myself. At age 48, I was stricken by a chronic immune system disease - not life-threatening, but somewhat debilitating and definitely annoying. A side-effect is that my appearance aged a decade virtually overnight. I used to be a young-looking 40-something guy with a full head of brown hair, and in fit, trim condition. Most of my students (I taught at a university) seemed genuinely shocked when learning how old I really was, and while I maintained complete fidelity to my wife, I was, on occasion, sought out by women 20 years my junior.

But when I got sick, the drugs I had to take (and STILL have to take) made me put on weight. What's more, a major symptom of my illness is chronic, bone-crushing nearly constant fatigue, making exercise of any kind very difficult. Further, I suffered a serious physical injury at about that same time while playing ice hockey - a full quadricep rupture. It took surgery and a full year of rehab just to regain my ability to walk. The physical activities I used to enjoy are now simply out of the question these days. So in just a short period, I gained 60 pounds that I have yet to be able to shed. Lastly - I don't really know whether it is the cocktail of medications I take - or just the emotional stresses I have endured, but my hair fell out seemingly overnight and what's left of it has turned gray - again nearly overnight. If one saw my drivers license picture of today and compared it one from 10 years ago, you would see on the latter hand, a guy who could pass for 35, and on the former, a guy who could pass for 65. This has been quite a shock. I was one of those guys who was hardly ever sick - never smoked, drank modestly, didn't use drugs, kept reasonably fit. And overnight it was taken away from me.

That is perhaps why I couldn't wrap my head around someone like Amanda. She's beautiful... if I were single and a few decades younger, I'd surely consider her worth asking for a date. And nearly any guy like me with two working eyes in his head would likely say the same, including guys richer and better-looking than I. She needs to enjoy what she has NOW! I think I know better than most that it will be taken away from her too soon for her taste either by time or by events. But if she goes to one of these flesh-sculpting knife-jockeys, all bets are off. All she will gain for sure is that warm and fuzzy feeling from paying to put one of her doctor's children through Harvard.

I already knew your picture was distorted, but could see past that (and yes, I remember the Coneheads).........didn't know it was deliberate. I figured it was, like a whole lot of pictures on people's posts, distorted because it was too large to fit properly in the little box....I've posted pictures like that.

 

If you are married, obviously, your wife thinks you're great...so who else matters? :)

 

I agree that Amanda is beautiful....unfortunately, she obviously has body dismorphic disorder. What a shame! No amount of plastic surgery can fix that.

 
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