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Topic : 07/10 Can This Family Be Saved?

Number of Replies: 99
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 03, 2008, 01:04:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
An out-of-control teenager, allegations of physical and verbal abuse, a marriage on the rocks — you name it; this family drama has it all. Along with Bishop T.D. Jakes, renowned pastor and author of Reposition Yourself, Dr. Phil has advice for bringing calm to the chaos. Tricia had to move out of her house because her husband, Jeff, couldn’t handle her rebellious 13-year-old daughter, Caysha. Tricia says Caysha curses, skips school, and has unprotected sex. Caysha says she isn't the only one at fault. She says her stepdad, Jeff, is controlling, insults her constantly, and even calls the cops to discipline her! Is reconciliation possible? Then, Bishop Jakes has a heart-to-heart talk with the teen. Find out what she says is the major cause of the chaos in her household. And, Caysha joins her parents and Bishop Jakes onstage. Is boot camp the answer for the troubled teen? Is it too late for Tricia to begin setting boundaries for Caysha and start healing her family? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 4, 2008, 6:36 pm CDT

DoctorPhil Show.

Be Can Doctor Family Phil Saved This.  Are you kidding me? No way that this family will be saved. See yo-u on Thursday Julu 10th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell
 
July 5, 2008, 9:12 am CDT

Do not spare the rod.

First a good spanking, then off to boot camp.
 
July 5, 2008, 12:59 pm CDT

Parents again

     We recently had our 17 year old grand daughter move in with us.  She was flunking school and was uncontrollable at home.  She has an eating disorder and mulitple emotional issues due to her family lifestyle.  A verbally abusive father who puts on a 'nice' face for the outside world and a mother who taught her children how to appease Dad to keep from making him angry.  He is not without his good points, but when I know that sometimes my daughter has to send the children away to keep them from hearing his abuse it's a little hard to see the good.

      There are two other children at home.  The marriage is breaking apart after 18 years of screaming and demeaning.  We have the oldest child with us but no mention has been made of support money, payment for medical bills.  Dad recently took the daughter at home on a shopping trip but no money has been sent to the 17yr old with us.

      It's as if they have turned loose of her completely and we are left to readjust our lives and income.  They are in the middle of a divorce and I wonder if we could ask for child support ?  Should we?  Megan turns 18 in Jan and hopefully wil graduate in May.  What happens then?  Where will she spend her summers? Where will she goe to college and who will help finance or is she completely on her own?

       Advice is needed, we feel trapped but we love our grand daughter and want to give her a chance that the parents are not giving her.

 
July 5, 2008, 1:56 pm CDT

My 15 yr old daughter

I just lost my marriage of 8 years, because he got addicted to the internet and found another woman that way, and he left me.  That's been heartbreaking enough, but then soon after, I discovered that my beautiful 15 yr old daughter has been using drugs and drinking alcohol with her friends.  After several months of trying to establish order with her, she finally surrendered and said she wanted to get help with rehab, that she could not stop using on her own.  And while getting her assessment done at the hospital, she admitted all the things she's been doing, unprotected sex, she's cutting herself, lots of drug use, and along with a rape that happened to her 2 yrs ago, she was raped just this past April.  I was horrified I just sat there and cried, just wanted to hold her and tell her that she is never going to get hurt again.  She's becoming my little girl again, while in treatment, I just pray that she will remain strong when she comes back home to me.  She's been diagnosed with PTSD, depression and overcompulsive behavior disorder. She just doesn't think about how much danger she puts herself in sometimes. 

 

I love her so much, I just pray I can handle this, but I'm scared.  I am battling severe refractory depression, I do not respond to medications, I'm struggling to make it thru each day.  But thru prayer and family support, I have a lot of faith.  I don't judge kids, teens, at all.  These are not bad kids, these are kids making bad choices.  They need a lot of love and serenity in their lives.  It's not their fault when marriages go wrong, they should have to pay.  We just need to love them more....

 
July 5, 2008, 3:20 pm CDT

Can This Family Be Saved?

Quote From: rogerearl

First a good spanking, then off to boot camp.

Rather than use physical punishment on our children, we need to learn how to communicate in effective and affective ways.

 

We need to teach discipline, without anger, and focus on behavior and not personalities.

 

True, it is easier to strike out and slap our frustration all over our kids, but when we wait until we are no longer angry, and discuss what happened with our kids we teach them discipline.

 

Discipline, in this case,  is learned in two ways by example - your ability to wait until calm to enter into discussion, and the nature of the discussion itself.

 

By having our children explain why they did what ever it was, and by asking if there were any alternative actions/behaviors they might have taken, we teach our children to think before they act.

 

This form of discipline will serve our kids well, and help them form healthy, lasting relationships.

 
July 6, 2008, 11:37 am CDT

07/10 Can This Family Be Saved?

Quote From: evonneboggs

     We recently had our 17 year old grand daughter move in with us.  She was flunking school and was uncontrollable at home.  She has an eating disorder and mulitple emotional issues due to her family lifestyle.  A verbally abusive father who puts on a 'nice' face for the outside world and a mother who taught her children how to appease Dad to keep from making him angry.  He is not without his good points, but when I know that sometimes my daughter has to send the children away to keep them from hearing his abuse it's a little hard to see the good.

      There are two other children at home.  The marriage is breaking apart after 18 years of screaming and demeaning.  We have the oldest child with us but no mention has been made of support money, payment for medical bills.  Dad recently took the daughter at home on a shopping trip but no money has been sent to the 17yr old with us.

      It's as if they have turned loose of her completely and we are left to readjust our lives and income.  They are in the middle of a divorce and I wonder if we could ask for child support ?  Should we?  Megan turns 18 in Jan and hopefully wil graduate in May.  What happens then?  Where will she spend her summers? Where will she goe to college and who will help finance or is she completely on her own?

       Advice is needed, we feel trapped but we love our grand daughter and want to give her a chance that the parents are not giving her.

I know exactly what your going through.  But marital problems or not they are still financially responsible. Go to court and make her stay with you legal, and ask for child support. Too many parents today like to use grandparents, they expect you to keep doing. It won't be easy but you have to fight to give your granddaughter the life she deserves so don't give up.

 
July 6, 2008, 12:07 pm CDT

Will someone pls explain to me what this boot camp thing is in the USA

I mean I know what it is, I've seen it enough on the news.

 

But most of it just seems to me like organized bullying, not to mention cases where cruelty has passed the border.

 
July 6, 2008, 8:32 pm CDT

A Good Spanking

If that was my daughter  a good Spanking first, then I would her to boot camp. Or if that don't work. Grandma will scary her to reality.

 
July 9, 2008, 9:37 pm CDT

07/10 Can This Family Be Saved?

Quote From: ashamo

If that was my daughter  a good Spanking first, then I would her to boot camp. Or if that don't work. Grandma will scary her to reality.

I don't understand...why violence? If a teen is acting this way then it means someone FAILED her in some way...how does smacking her around help anything? How does sending her to a mean and unloving place help?
 
July 10, 2008, 10:35 am CDT

Caysha....better think about this:

Caysha, you mentioned wanting to become emancipated. Better give the following some thought:

 

Do you have a J.O.B.? If you don't, how do you expect to pay for just basic living expenses?..(not to mention any extras like..oh, let's see....shampoo, toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent.....etc.)

 

If you do have a job, will it give you enough money to pay rent, utilities, food, clothing, a car so you can go to work, gasoline for that car, general maintenance?........and do you have ANY idea how much those things cost? (Better take a look at your parents' bills...just for "fun"...you know...a dose of REALITY?) I promise you, it will make you think twice!

 

And this boyfriend who comes over to USE you three times a week? Oh yeah. Get pregnant and see how fast he disappears! He'll make Houdini look like an amateur! (and don't be fool enough to think it's "love", sweetie....at his age, he's only thinking with his LITTLE head! The fact he's behaving in such a selfish and disrespectful way right now by coming over to your grandmother's house and sleeping with you even though it's been made clear that he's not welcome, should give you a clue as to how he will treat you ! I'd hate for you to find that out the hard way.

 

I could go on, but, hopefully, you get the idea. Better to behave now and improve your present situation. And tell the boyfriend to take a hike!

 
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