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Topic : 07/11 Abducted from School

Number of Replies: 99
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Created on : Thursday, July 03, 2008, 01:07:16 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You might think of the classroom as a safe, protected environment for learning, but how safe is your child’s campus? Could a stranger take your little one right off the school grounds? That’s what happened to 6-year-old Kendall, who was abducted from a private Catholic school by a 47-year-old man she had never met before. Dr. Phil sits down with Kendall’s mother, Natasha, to hear her terrifying account of the abduction and the surprising racial aspect of the case. Did the school release Kendall to a total stranger just because he was black? Plus, Natasha sits face to face with the family of the man who kidnapped little Kendall. Emotions run high as they make a heart-felt plea for their son. Would he be better off in jail, or a mental institution? Next, Latoia's son, 4-year-old Zachari, was released by a teacher's aide to a complete stranger who rode up on a bicycle! Latoia and "Little Z" join Dr. Phil to tell how this potential tragedy turned out to be a comedic mix-up. But how could the school let this happen, and what measures are the administrators taking? And, Dr. Phil reveals what you need to know -- and more importantly, what your child needs to know -- to prevent an abduction, including some high-tech devices no parent should be without. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 17, 2008, 9:15 am CDT

A School's Point of View

I have been a teacher for over 30 years. We have recently implemented much more rigid standards for picking up children from school. The people who give us the most "grief" over these policies are the parents!! They give the teacher a hard time when they just show up at the door and we tell them that they have to go to the office. It seems that they want us to protect their kids but they don't actually want the rules to apply to them. I ALWAYS tell my class that my main job is to keep them safe while they are not with their parents and I take my job very seriously. I wish that parents could support schools in our efforts to keep children safe and not just group us all together when something goes wrong. Parents need to take some of the responsibility for themselves.
 
July 17, 2008, 10:35 am CDT

07/11 Abducted from School

Quote From: sammyboy4

I have been a teacher for over 30 years. We have recently implemented much more rigid standards for picking up children from school. The people who give us the most "grief" over these policies are the parents!! They give the teacher a hard time when they just show up at the door and we tell them that they have to go to the office. It seems that they want us to protect their kids but they don't actually want the rules to apply to them. I ALWAYS tell my class that my main job is to keep them safe while they are not with their parents and I take my job very seriously. I wish that parents could support schools in our efforts to keep children safe and not just group us all together when something goes wrong. Parents need to take some of the responsibility for themselves.

When I taught I never had to deal with the parents coming to my classroom because you had to go to the office just to get on campus.

 

However, dismissal time was another story. I would sometimes have parent pick up duty and to be quite honest we didn't know every child and every parent and every car and they didn't require us to go out to the cars and check IDs. The children stayed behind a fence and they would say there's my ride and we would let them out. Thank God nothing ever happen.

 

Our school was a really big K-6 school and we would have a lot of kids getting picked up everyday. How do other schools manage it? As far as I could tell my kids school pretty much functioned the same way. 

 
July 18, 2008, 6:53 am CDT

07/11 Abducted from School

I empathize with Kendall's mom. What happenend to her was every mother's worst nightmare. I don't even want to imagine how I would be able to deal in that situation. I also understand where the parents of the man who abducted Kendall are coming from. My son too is said to have a bipolar disorder and no will listen to get him the help he needs, they say he has to break the law or something first. I wanted him to get help before something bad happened. They are quick to put them away but as parents, we know our kids better than anyone else. I do feel my son needs to be held accountable for his actions but at the same time I feel that he needs to get help. I do think he poses a threat to society but they put him in places and get him counseling now but, only because of the threats he has made and the people he has hurt. Why do we have to wait until that happens? I don't want to see my son go to prison either but where was the help before it was too late? This is very scary for everyone involved especially the innocent, and precious children. Where was her protection? Where was the security for the parents of Kendall and others like her? My heart goes out to them.  I tried for many years to get help for my son taking him to counseling and the whole works, but no one would listen, even when he took a pocket knife to school and threatened another child by saying "I have a knife in my pocket and I'm not afraid to use it." By the way we do not believe in knives or guns and only have knives that are used for cooking and the knife he took to school, he stole. He was kicked out of school for two and a half weeks and then allowed to return with an IEP in place. Two months later he actually pulled a carpet knife on my two younger children, the carpet knife was left behind by the guy who laid my carpet that day. I am still working on getting him help. I hope and pray every day that everyone around him will be safe.

 

 

 
July 18, 2008, 8:48 am CDT

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Hope it helps!

 

 
July 18, 2008, 1:05 pm CDT

Not Abducted, but lost by school!

Schools are just not careful enough! This show was run again I guess this afternoon in my area, and I hadn't seen it before. About 3 yrs ago I got a call from a lady who found my 7 yr old son wandering in an industrial area of our city about 2 miles from his school. He had given her our phone number but refused to get in her vehicle. I gave him permission to get in the lady's car to be taken back to school (I had tried to come get him myself but my car broke down at the end of the street) and then I called the school to tell them that he had been found. I was so upset that they hadn't called me to tell me he was missing. They found out when I called them. My son was taken back to the school by the lady (thank God for her!) and my husband went to get him. At a meeting with my husband, the principal asked how we were going to punish our son for leaving the school. We found out from talking to him that he had been afraid that he was going to be attacked by another child (which had happened a couple times already that year) and since the teacher wouldn't listen to him he decided he was going to come home.  For him to have gotten so far from the school, he had been away from the school at least 2 hrs and they should have noticed him missing - his teacher said she thought he was in the bathroom. We also reported it to the police and the principal told us that was "uncalled for". At that time we decided to pull both our children from the school and withdrew our application for our youngest child. We have been homeschooling since and my children are much happier. Also, I don't have to worry about my kids when I hear about area schools on lockdown or some other situations. It still makes me so angry when I think about it!!!! Tina
 
July 18, 2008, 1:10 pm CDT

My heart goes out to you...

Quote From: enfermera6

I empathize with Kendall's mom. What happenend to her was every mother's worst nightmare. I don't even want to imagine how I would be able to deal in that situation. I also understand where the parents of the man who abducted Kendall are coming from. My son too is said to have a bipolar disorder and no will listen to get him the help he needs, they say he has to break the law or something first. I wanted him to get help before something bad happened. They are quick to put them away but as parents, we know our kids better than anyone else. I do feel my son needs to be held accountable for his actions but at the same time I feel that he needs to get help. I do think he poses a threat to society but they put him in places and get him counseling now but, only because of the threats he has made and the people he has hurt. Why do we have to wait until that happens? I don't want to see my son go to prison either but where was the help before it was too late? This is very scary for everyone involved especially the innocent, and precious children. Where was her protection? Where was the security for the parents of Kendall and others like her? My heart goes out to them.  I tried for many years to get help for my son taking him to counseling and the whole works, but no one would listen, even when he took a pocket knife to school and threatened another child by saying "I have a knife in my pocket and I'm not afraid to use it." By the way we do not believe in knives or guns and only have knives that are used for cooking and the knife he took to school, he stole. He was kicked out of school for two and a half weeks and then allowed to return with an IEP in place. Two months later he actually pulled a carpet knife on my two younger children, the carpet knife was left behind by the guy who laid my carpet that day. I am still working on getting him help. I hope and pray every day that everyone around him will be safe.

 

 

I totally empathise with Kendall's mom - what a scary experience!!! I can't imagine what she has gone through. I also empathise with you. We love our kids so much and when we need help with them and a wall shoots up in front of us no matter which way we turn, it is so frustrating. You feel like screaming "won't anybody help me??????" It's a sad state of affairs when the child has to be destructive or dangerous before anyone will pay attention. Even then sometimes they don't get help. I pray you and your son will get the help he needs.
 
July 22, 2008, 6:56 am CDT

I agree

Quote From: sammyboy4

I have been a teacher for over 30 years. We have recently implemented much more rigid standards for picking up children from school. The people who give us the most "grief" over these policies are the parents!! They give the teacher a hard time when they just show up at the door and we tell them that they have to go to the office. It seems that they want us to protect their kids but they don't actually want the rules to apply to them. I ALWAYS tell my class that my main job is to keep them safe while they are not with their parents and I take my job very seriously. I wish that parents could support schools in our efforts to keep children safe and not just group us all together when something goes wrong. Parents need to take some of the responsibility for themselves.
I  have  to  whole  heartedly  agree  .  Most  parents  do  not  realize  that  they  can  not  have  it  both  ways  ,and  they  have  a  tendency  to  become  aggitated  when  teachers  take  their  jobs  really  serious  ,  just  this  past  year  my  daughters  school  begin  to  implement  rigid  rules  ,  you  just  can  not  walk  into  school  and  pick  up  your  son  or  daughter  anymore  and  it  is  for  safety  reasons  . Their  are  many  parents  who  would  support  by  all  means d  that  our  childs  safety  is  something  that  must  be  taken  seriously  and  ID  and  becomeing  known  to  the  school  staff  as  a  familiar  face  is  as  well  important . That  way  some  rank  stranger  can  not  walk  off  with  a  child . BTW  I  seriously  do  not  believe  teachers  get  paid  enough  for  the  job  they  are  required  to  do .  Ive  been  blessed  with  some  of  the  most  excellent  teachers  ever  ,  because  of  committed  dedicated  teachers  my  daughters  minor  disabilities  with  learning  becomes  less  and  less  life  defineing  and  Im  beyond  grateful  that  were  blessed  with  great  gifted  teachers  that  make  All  things  a  possibility  for  the  future  of  children .    God  Bless  U TEACHERS   real  BIG   !!!   U  deserve  credit  where  credit  is   due  for  all  that  u  do  ,  I  will  tip  hats  off  for  teachers   ,keep  up  the  excellence  it  makes  a  great  difference  sammyboy4
 
July 25, 2008, 10:33 pm CDT

Safety comes first

Quote From: kriscerone

Excellent topic and long over due.  I have said for years that if you drop your child off at school and think your child is safe you are sadly mistaken.  My daughter is now 35.  When she was 10, that was twenty-five years ago, I made a trip to her school, showed them my custody and visitation papers and told the office staff that her father would probably try to take her and to say no to him.  About a month later he stole her from the play ground and then called the school and told them he had her.  They did not call me "because he sounded so nice."  Moving ahead to when her own daughter was in the 2nd grade, about 10-years ago, I went to the school to pick my granddaughter up.  The neighborhood was swarming with police.  As I sat in front of the school I counted 30 police cards pass.  Soon my granddaughter was released and walked to my car.  I got her into the car and we got out of the area.  When we got home I called the school and asked why it was not locked down?  The woman answering said no one had the authority to lock down the school.  Several months later I arrived to bring my granddaughter her lunch she forgot.  It was a rainy day and the children were eating in the classroom.  I found her with her classmates in the classroom unattended.  I was shocked. When I finally found an attendant who was walking back and forth looking into classrooms she told me that teachers were "entitled" to a lunch break.   It only takes a little effort to protect a child.
I feel your pain. I have currently had to deal with my child's dad reappearing after nearly 2yrs of nothing. Yes I drag him back to court because he was also an abuser I had a restraining order on. The school let him pick her up once the court ordered visitation while she was at preschool. It was awful for both me and her, but what was worse was months later he still hadn't been the one handing over a copy of the court order to the school, but I had to. One day despite my simple letter to the teacher and court papers in the main office he came and took her. I got out of class and went over the pick her up at the college preschool I attended. It was scary that they acted like there was no reason for concern despite he failed to sign her out and in during his visits and he was planning to keep her over night because he thought he got her every weekend. He never had her over night except once a week prior to him kidnapping her. The court really didnt take into consideration that my child was not ready and he was having negative affects on her. She came back to me full of water tears and told me how he yelled at her when I finally got her back. Sadly the cops never showed and I didn't go after the school like I should have. I lost alot of credibility with the preschool teachers I worked along side during volunteerring and classes. It was a mess. The school really let down their guards despite she recieved all new teachers during that time and none of them seemed to care at all about her. Luckily he has disappeared again and my 4yr old daughter is back to her old self. She is glad he is gone and is sarcastic about loving him as a joke and that he doesn't know where we are. Its strange but I guess its how she copes. She never truly felt comfortable with him. I am trying to get a hold of my lawyer I haven't spoken to since Feb 08 to try and file for full custody and removing her dads rights. He abandoned her once came back and for a month he abandoned her again and the courts gave him more time with her but threatened to remove his rights if he didn't start the visits again, my lawyer and mom heard that so its legal now. I hate seeing children in custody issues, but schools should be prepared to protect the child and be aware of when visits occur and when a child is being picked up. I heard in Kindergarten its illegal to pick up a child for a court visit during school time. I hope its true but I just want to get rid of him so I can feel safe. My daughter is very bright and smart and advance for many years, but I held off on helping her progress for a year while visits occured. Its sad she lost all that time, but she is doing well and is back to trying to achieve her academic and hobbie goals.
 
August 11, 2008, 10:17 am CDT

Schools need to enforce student pick-up policies

While I understand that most schools are under funded and personnel are underpaid.   They picked the profession they are in fully aware that "pay" is not the best.  There are still policies that need to be enforced and followed regardless of pay and funding.  Our children's safety and well being should be at the top of that list.

Even with policies in place where I live, those are not followed.  Anyone is able to walk in the schools and pick up whomever they wish to and are not asked for identification or even checked to see if they are on the "list".  When brought to the attention of those in charge there has been no disciplinary actions of any kind done.

As a concerned parent, and one that has also been a volunteer, I don't think funding or pay should be a factor in whether or not you follow policies and rules set to protect the children, OUR children!  If it is...I suggest you find a different job in a different profession...because obviously your priorities are out of order.
 
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