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Topic : 07/15 Is There a Predator in the House?

Number of Replies: 282
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Created on : Thursday, July 10, 2008, 12:12:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
As a parent, you’re likely to be concerned about sexual predators who could potentially gain access to your child. But what if you suspected a child molester were living under the same roof as your child or grandchild? Dr. Phil tackles the stories of two concerned moms. Donna became suspicious when her daughter, Dianna, started living with Scott, a registered sex offender. Donna claims her 3-year-old grandson started having nightmares, screaming out, "Stop, Scott!" so she called Child Protective Services. Dianna says her mom is lying and that her mother just wants Scott out of the picture. Are Donna’s concerns justified? Because of his criminal record, is any child with whom Scott lives at risk? Then, follow the heart-wrenching tale of a mother torn between the two people she loves most. Maryl’s 13-year-old daughter accused her stepfather of sexually abusing her. Maryl chose to believe her husband, called her daughter a pathological liar and sent her to live in foster care. Now, she wonders if she has made the biggest mistake of her life. Find out what has Maryl now convinced that her daughter’s stories of abuse were true, and decide for yourself: Who’s lying? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 13, 2008, 12:04 pm CDT

accomplice

Quote From: flynch2much

My X of 30 yrs molested my 4yr old grand daughter..I had him arrested. Of course he swore that was the first time...his family held secrets about him....they knew of his interset in children when he was a teen. Did any of them enlighten me? NO..

Do you have any idea how EVIL that was?...Now my adult daughter & son feels he was capable of molesting them when they were  young children....In my gut I fear they could be correct...

 

Now his family has disowned him and I as well..and our adult children. None of his family will have anything to do with any of us. Yet we hadn't any idea he was capable of abusing our grand child....possible others along his path into adulthood..scary to think about because he grew up on the same street as a community play ground. I had also heard stories from his family about some really nice neighbors, that had moved next door them, they had a little girl. They moved without ever telling anyone why.....Hmmm..makes me wonder more.

 

DRose

 

anytime a family is aware of criminal activity of a family member and keeps their mouth shut and doesn't warn others of the potential abuse they are at risk for, they are an accomplice and should be charged and suffer the consequences. 

If you know that someone in a car is driving down a highway and headed toward a deadly situation  because the bridge over a river is out, and you know that the sign warning that the bridge is gone, and you do absolutely NOTHING to warn those people about the danger YOU ARE GUILTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the bible, the good Lord said that anyone who leads an innocent child toward danger/death would be better off if they had a millstone tied to their neck and they were thrown in the sea. 

What is there not to understand about that!  

There are reasons that grandparents and grandchildren have such a close bond...
they have a common enemy!!!!
 
July 13, 2008, 6:02 pm CDT

Has the world gone crazy?

I am a mother of a beautiful little boy. He's only 16months old but i worry for him. In the last one month there have been over 25-30 reported cases of child abuse here in Sydney, Australia. Some of the children were just 18months old. The latest victim 4 years old raped by her 26year old baby sitter. These crimes are been committed all the time.A new study in Australia showed that these child abusers were everywhere. Some were doctors, teachers, lawyers....  What kind of criminal justice system lets these predators roam around amongst our children? And even if they are convicted of these crimes - of what use is it? The sentence given is never carried out till full term and they are released into society within a few years. And all this based on "good behavior" and getting adequate therapy. These monsters cannot be reformed and should not be allowed to be around our children. Is every country in the world facing this problem? Being a parent to me means that until the child that you brought into this world, is adult enough to look out for himself.... you are their shelter, their protection. You are the one that they turn to for unconditional love, guidance and support. If we fail to provide these simple needs for our children by putting our own whimsical, sentimental needs before their needs then what hope do these children have? Even still - why have children at all if you cannot handle the responsibility.

 
July 13, 2008, 7:12 pm CDT

what happens when the system fails to do their part?

I am the mother of two beautiful children.  My son is 11 and my daughter is 5.  She is co-parented, spending 3 1/2  days with each parent.  One night while giving my daughter a bath, she  began to scream in pain stating that her "bum" hurt.  She was referring to her vagina.  I took her out of the bath and put cornstarch powder on her to ease the pain.  While doing this, I asked her if she hurt herself riding a bike or playing.  She replied "no".  I asked if anyone had touched her there.  She replied "yes".  I could feel my heart sink.  I further questioned her as to who touched her and she replied, without hesitation, that "daddy put his finger in my bum and it hurt".  It felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest.  This occurred on December 18, 2006, one month before her 4th birthday.  The following day, I did what any concerned parent would do in this situation.  I contacted the local police department and met with a detective who contacted the district attorney's office.  They set up a meeting for me to bring my daughter to see if she would disclose anything to them.  Before this meeting, I contacted her pediatrician who examined her.  He did not find any visible signs of abuse. Later that day, we attended the meeting.  This meeting took place in a room with, my daughter, the detective, a person from the department of social services, the assistant district attorney and at least four other people in a room with a two way mirro and cameras and monitors.  I was not allowed to be in the room with her.  My daughter did not disclose anything to them.  From there I went to the court to file for an emergency motion for custody until the department of social services (DSS) could investigate the allegations.  The judge would not allow my motion.  I left feeling frustrated and helpless.

 

I have had my daughter in counseling for over a year now.  She has disclosed to two psychologists what she disclosed to me.  Two 51A's were filed by each psychologist.  The first was investigated, but closed due to lack of evidence and she was ordered back to her abuser.  The second was immediately screened out. 

 

I can not describe the feeling of knowing that the man she calls her father is allowed to still have visitations with his daughter.  I agree with the rest of you who feel that children, especially that young, do not have the capability of making that up.  It seems the system is more concerned about falsely accusing a man of such a terrible accusation or that they believe that I made it up to get revenge on him.  In no way did I lead my daughter or put her up to it.  I would never subject my daughter to what she has been through just to get even. 

 

I have written letters, I have made phone calls to specialists and professionals and no one seems to be able to help us.

 

Recently, while on a family vacation, my daughter was exhibiting bizarre behaviors indicitive of a child who has been violated.  In addition, she stated that this has happened at least six times (and probably more).  I contacted her counselor with this new information and she validated my concerns about these behaviors and statements. 

 

Isn't it better to err on the side of caution to open an investigation to protect my daughter from a lifetime of torture than to just toss her aside like she is not worth the time or money to do so?  Given what is going on in the country with children being abused, I feel something should be done to take it more seriously. The system seems to be designed to protect the abusers and not the children.  When will it be enough to do something?  When will my daughter get the help she needs?  Who do you turn to when all the facts are there, but for the mere fact that she has not disclosed it to the district attorney, we are not being protected?

 

I can not imagine a mother not believing her child and siding with a stepfather or biological father.  This disgusts me.  Part of our job of being a parent is to listen to our children and protect them from anyone or anything.

 

The court and DSS have failed miserably in doing enough to protect my little girl.  We live in the State of Massachusetts where the department of social services in this area has been under scruitiny for a long time due to the many instances where it was clearly a case of sexual or physical abuse and nothing was done.  Many of these children have since died or are living the rest of their lives scarred and remain in the home with their abuser. If anyone can relate to my story or has any advice on what I can do to help her, I would greatly appreciate any help.  I would just like to add that her father has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and does not take medication nor does he seek professional help for it.  He also comes from a family who are all mentally unstable.  His mother is on medication for mental illness, his sister is on the same and has, in the past, been given shock treatments for her illness.  I believe it goes back even farther to grandparents, etc.

 
July 14, 2008, 9:34 am CDT

07/15 Is There a Predator in the House?

I was abused by my father for many years.  I had  confronted both my father and mother about the abuse at which time my father was thrown out but allowed to return with no counseling etc...   When my mother did not protect me, I went to the courts for protection.  The judge ordered family counseling and I was sent to live 1st in a home for  children who had commited crimes and then to an aunt for the remainder of my Senior year in high school   My father, the abuser, continued to live in our home with my mother, 2 sisters and brother and never attended counseling, but I did .  This took place in 1977-1978 when the courts were not willing or maybe equiped to deal with what was then considered a "Family Matter."    To this day I have to wonder why I was punished?  I went to counseling to  address this issue in my early 30's to discover my anger was more at my mother for not protecting me than at my abuser .  Even to this day if the abuse (sexual, physical and emotional) is brought to Mom's notice, she will respond with something like 'It wasn't all that bad was it?"  While I no longer let this past control my life I can tell the mother of the 13 year old that she will never forget that she was abandoned in favor of her abuser.  Also forgiveness will be a long time coming if ever.
 
July 14, 2008, 10:32 pm CDT

07/15 Is There a Predator in the House?

Quote From: gomomcaa

I have worked as an educator  to junior  high through college age for the past 30 years. Whiles the faces are different the abuse stories are the same,heartbreaking, as well as the outcomes for the children, mental torture and tremendous anger along with a list of other negative outcomes.

 

Even a mother lion, tiger, or bear has the sense to protect her children first  to the best of her ability. A mother hen has the sense to not put a fox in her house. A human mother can also choose to put her children's needs before her own. I am sick at the choices of both mothers. Instead of choosing the best for their children they have chosen the opposite. May God and Dr. Phil help them.

I was molested by my half-brother.  When he got married years later I made damn sure that is wife knew what he did...I cannot believe that no one did the same for you..that is horrid.


 
July 15, 2008, 7:27 am CDT

07/15 Is There a Predator in the House?

Quote From: mgar54

When are going to have that predator show letting America know that our children engaged in consensual sex is caught up under your strict sex offender laws.  The same convictions , punishments and limitations placed on real sexual predators are being placed on our children including making them register as sex offenders.  Some as young as 10 years old.  I am convinced that America would be shocked and appalled to know that a young person involved in consensual sex is now on the registry in their community.  With the scare tactics been laid on them the past 8 years, they truly believe they're being protected by all thats being done.  What they don't know is you added teen and children sexual activity as well as internet activity to be included in the law so you can enlarge the registry to make it look as though you all are really on the job.  When in fact  you rarely catch the kind of predator we expect to be on the list.  Simply because most predators are experienced, careful, and probably your average white collar personage, someone you trust.  Not some snot nosed young person ingaged in consensual sex.  You have chosen them because they are unsuspecting and easy prey.  You and Oprah both have helped to lead this terror campaign, along with the likes of John Walsh and Nancy Knuclehead -without taking time to see how these laws are being written and applied.
I too was molested by and uncle at an early age, but what did my boyfriend have to do with that?  When he met me i was already out there, sexually active, not having to lie about my age because i hung with his age group, so it's only natural to think i'm in his age group.  Why in the h___ would his life have to be ruined, by registering as a lifetime sex offender while old men like my uncle and Mike Foley go unpunised. 
 WAITING FOR THAT PREDATOR SHOW!

Not shocked at all, if a person of 18 has sex with a person under the age of 18 they are committing a crime.

States rules change what is  age of concent, and ignorance of the law is no excuse.

 
July 15, 2008, 9:23 am CDT

07/15 Is There a Predator in the House?

I think if anyone puts their children knowingly in harms way and lets a sex offender move in should be thown in prison too.

 

This is the only crime I know of that  act the sickness could pass on to the victim. When are the laws going to catch up and stop the cycle.

 
July 15, 2008, 10:20 am CDT

Scott is a liar

Scott is molesting this little boy, I believe wholeheartedly that he, without a doubt, is verbally and mentally abusing this boy, as is his mother. It is so obvious when you look at his facial expressions, as well as the "act" put on for the home cameras placed by the Dr. Phil show. The grandmother stated that the boy was putting his hand over her mouth and threatening her and pointing his finger right in her face. There's only one place children learn how to do that and that is by actions from their parents. I have two children and whatever I do, they do. They mock their parents. That's just what kids do. Right now, this little boy is at his most vulnerable learning phase where his complete social and relationship skills are developed (between the ages of 2 and 6). I think that Dr. Phil shouldn't be blinded by this Scott guy's horrible impression of a loving father figure. The grandmother should put hidden cameras in the daughter's house and then we'd see what things are like behind closed doors. I'd like to see a follow-up on this one because I guarantee that Scott is hurting this boy by teasing him and being mean to him. I think Scott has a little jealousy issue with the relationship of the little boy and his mother.

 
July 15, 2008, 11:32 am CDT

07/15 Is There a Predator in the House?

It absolutely blows my mind how many women are so desperate for a man that they would choose these loser sex-offenders (and others just as bad) to drag into their homes with their young children!

 

Checking someone out is only a mouse click away....and if you don't protect yourself and your kids from any piece of crap out there by taking this simple step, shame on you! It's just common sense.

 

Don't you dumb women realize that sex offenders are looking for women just like you....desperate, needy, clingy, air-headed, naive...with young children they can just swoop in on. And you go like lambs to the slaughter. By the time you open your eyes and see what's what, it's too late. They have forever destroyed the lives of the children you put in their path.

 

Oh yeah..dingbats like you are a pediphile's wet dream!! 

 
July 15, 2008, 11:43 am CDT

07/15 Is There a Predator in the House?

Quote From: mgar54

When are going to have that predator show letting America know that our children engaged in consensual sex is caught up under your strict sex offender laws.  The same convictions , punishments and limitations placed on real sexual predators are being placed on our children including making them register as sex offenders.  Some as young as 10 years old.  I am convinced that America would be shocked and appalled to know that a young person involved in consensual sex is now on the registry in their community.  With the scare tactics been laid on them the past 8 years, they truly believe they're being protected by all thats being done.  What they don't know is you added teen and children sexual activity as well as internet activity to be included in the law so you can enlarge the registry to make it look as though you all are really on the job.  When in fact  you rarely catch the kind of predator we expect to be on the list.  Simply because most predators are experienced, careful, and probably your average white collar personage, someone you trust.  Not some snot nosed young person ingaged in consensual sex.  You have chosen them because they are unsuspecting and easy prey.  You and Oprah both have helped to lead this terror campaign, along with the likes of John Walsh and Nancy Knuclehead -without taking time to see how these laws are being written and applied.
I too was molested by and uncle at an early age, but what did my boyfriend have to do with that?  When he met me i was already out there, sexually active, not having to lie about my age because i hung with his age group, so it's only natural to think i'm in his age group.  Why in the h___ would his life have to be ruined, by registering as a lifetime sex offender while old men like my uncle and Mike Foley go unpunised. 
 WAITING FOR THAT PREDATOR SHOW!

Although you do make some good points, what you are not choosing to acknowledge is the fact that a child below the age (and often above) 18 does not have the emotional maturity to consent to sex! They may think they do, but they don't...that's why there are laws in place to protect them. Just because their hormones are raging does not mean they know what to do with those hormones!  It's a fact that people's brains do not physically mature until around 25....especially males....which is why you see them do so many dumb things below that age. 

 

Children at ages younger than 18 just don't have the capacity to predict the consequences of their behavior...therefore, it's up to the adult to know better than to fall into bed with a willing, but underage baby! No excuses.

 

By the way, I don't know where you are getting your information, but I don't know of any 10 year olds who have had to register as a sex offender...or anyone else below the age of 18!

 
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