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Topic : 08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Number of Replies: 120
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, August 21, 2008, 04:03:35 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you ever wonder how your children grow up to be so different despite being brought up in the same house? Rob and Jenna are siblings who had a close relationship growing up. Now that Jenna is immersed in college life, and Rob works at the Dairy Queen, they barely speak. Jenna says her brother needs to grow up, and Rob feels judged by his sister. Their mom joins them and asks Dr. Phil how to motivate Rob to get his feet moving and his butt in gear! And, twins Mandy and Jennifer just can't seem to get along. Mandy says ever since she walked down the aisle, Jen has been jealous of her. Jen says her sister is way too judgmental. Can Dr. Phil help these twins in turmoil repair their bond? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 25, 2008, 5:22 pm CDT

im kinda judgmentel sister

  i am kinda a judgmentel sister i am the oldest and i have 4 siblings one of my sister is bad into crack she gets high all the time with her kids ther i have call css but after thay have taken the kids away and given them back what els do i do i have stoped talking to her it has been 4 months since we have spock but i dont know what els to do i have tryed to talk to her about the drug use and she denies it or gets mad and starts a fight im at my wits end im so afraid something might happen to thoughs kids
 
August 25, 2008, 5:30 pm CDT

Oh, Jerry.......

Quote From: jerfrgd

Dr. Phil, I lost my identical twin sister Terry,  February 10, 2006 to cancer, we were very close, even though we had difference in opinions, and it took her 18 months going through the cancer for me to really wake up to how much I needed her, appreciated her, even though  did, but you never think death will take your other half, and you don't think about it, until the day you are standing in the hospital room, and the doctor gives you the dreaded news your twin has inoperable cancer. My world came crashing down, and my life was forever changed, and  it has never been the same since. I miss her so much, and I have sad days and happy days, but my life was changed forever when I lost my identical twin. I look in the mirror everyday and see her. I miss her so much, and all these twins fighting, hurting one another makes me nausicated to my stomach. I want to tell all the twins out there to cherish all the moments they have with each other, and love one another. I feel like there is a gapping hole in my side, and in my life that won't heal, thank God , I have him and my faith to help me know, one day I will see her again, and she won't be sick, Thanks for reading my email, Jerry Faison

I am an identical twin living in South Carolina. My twin lives in San Francisco. I just posted on another board then I poked my head in here to read the posts.

 

My eyes are stinging. There is a lump in my throat. I can’t even imagine a loss such as the one you are trying to cope with…..my twin is the closest person to me. I suppose that’s how we as identical twin know how to ‘get’ the other but good! For me, sometimes it just stings more, I suppose. Though my twin and I have always had this back and forth thing that is for the most part playful. My Grandmother used to look at us, shake her head and say, “They’re just like a pair of kittens. Chasing, challenging or got to frolic with each other anytime they’re awake and no matter what they are doing! Why are they always, like that?!? I ain‘t never seen two children, like these two!” I wanted to say, ‘WE’RE TWINS, GRANDMA!’ We wanted to play with each other even if there were ten other kids to play with!

It’s just that I value what she thinks and unfortunately I don’t believe that she sees me as a person who is capable, skilled or talented. That really smarts, too! We’ve always looked forward to seeing each other. Laughing together. We both have a wicked sense of humor. Even though we live 3000 miles apart, I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding. I was the first person to hold her baby and cut the cord!(Her husband passes out at the sight of blood.) I am always there-in spirit-when she’s struggling. I am her loudest and most persistent cheerleader! And, she knows that! There have been times when she was struggling with problems at work….intimidated by someone higher up, that she would be facing and I would say in that moment, “When you face him I want you to think of me standing by your side, holding your hand. In your head, I want you to think of me because I’m going to be sending you a mental CHEER! Whatever, happens just remember, I’m with you and I always will be.”

Things are never perfect. I know that my sister loves me. I think that she just doesn’t value or respect me in the same way I value and respect her. We’re not done, yet though. So, I will keep on being her twin sister and loving her whether we’re at odds or not. I’ll remember that in part because I read your post and it reminded me that twins have a spiritual connectedness that few others will ever experience. I will remember also as I was complaining in my last post that the person I was complaining about is still here for me to argue with.

I send you my sincerest ‘Thanks’ for a reminder I hope all the twins out there can see and read. As for you Jerry, I hope that when you read this post, that you will-if just for a moment- remember Terry and celebrate her memory, rather than mourning her loss. Isn’t that what she would want for you? Wouldn’t she want you to allow yourself the joy of remembering your best times. The funny things that only the two of you shared. I haven’t been where you are but I do know that if you were my twin, I would want you to find some measure of joy, again. Even if you were repeatedly pulled back to the sorrow.

 

Thinking of You,

 

Brenda

 
August 25, 2008, 5:47 pm CDT

just goes to show....

  I never know where I'm gonna get a key piece of advice for raising children.  The first young man seems all to "the norm" these days. Seems kids believe the world owes them something and since anybody only does what they know.  Looks like the parents who are complaining are the very ones who prescribed the bad medicine.

  Thanks Phil and checked out the step parent role advice. Really helped, I think-hope. We'll see. Thanks though.

 
August 25, 2008, 5:47 pm CDT

08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Quote From: cndrlla

I was mad at my sister this morning. We are as different as night and day and we get on each other's nerves sometimes....and sometimes she's hard to take.

 

Then, I watched the show...it was so appropriate. I'd almost forgotten the lesson I learned on Christmas Eve, 1995 when my only brother was killed in a car accident.....which is: tomorrow is promised to no one. Tell those you love every day  that you love them, because you never know when it could be their (or your) last day on this earth!  I thank God that the last thing I said to my brother was "I love you"...it's the only thing that makes his loss even remotely tolerable.

 

I got over my snit and told my sister today that I loved her.    

 
August 25, 2008, 5:54 pm CDT

I'm the " White sheep" in my family.

Hello

I am the oldest of three siblings. I'm 33 my sister is 27 and my brother is 26.  My sister an brother are both half Hispanic, and I'm white. We have different dad's, but I have always thought of my step- dad as my dad. My siblings an I have never been close. We have never done anything together. I was even told by one of my brother's ex girl friends that the reason they don't " hang out" with me, is because I am too old. I see it in another point of view. I think it's because I am too " white". This has put a serious strain on me with my family. I even "cut my losses" an didn't speak to any of them for a year. I still don't care if I do or don't speak to them. It was no real love loss, but as of last month, I  did start communication with them again, only because we all thought my grandma was going to die.
My issue's I have with my family go way back though. It's not just about a racial thing. I was hurt deeply in the past, and I can't seem to move forward.
 
August 25, 2008, 5:57 pm CDT

From One Twin to Another.....

Quote From: bloombox

It has been 7.5 years since my twin sister died from ovarian cancer.  I had thought that losing our dad would have been the most awful pain I would ever experience....but nothing, nothing comes close to losing my twin.  For Jerry, who lost Terry, please look at www.twinlesstwins.org .  This organization supports twinless twins---even tho our twin is no longer here, we are still a twin.  For any twin who is estranged from their sibling twin...take the high road and make things better between the two of you.  You have no idea what a precious and special bond you have with your twin---and when it's gone; it's gone forever.  Debe

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for posting the link that you included in your post.

 

Debe, reading your and Jerry's posts makes me a whole lot clearer about petty stuff.

 

Thanks,

 

Brenda

 
August 25, 2008, 6:02 pm CDT

know it all sisters

I can relate to this subject very well.  My sister is 9 years older then myself. And I just can't stand to be around her.  She is just a different person than myself.  I have tried many times to make the connection work but it just never does..I have lost my one and only brother and I thought that would help our relationship but it didn't. One person can't give 100% percent and the other don't give anything.  I was raised with both parents and I am the youngest so yes my dad spoiled me.  But my mom spoiled her and she still has her way with my mom.  But I don't let it bother me.  My dad is in a nursing home and my mom is here in florida with me and she lives in michigan.  She comes to visit my mom but my mom has to pay for everything.  She doesn't like my husband and has even made remarks about him dying while he was going thru prostate cancer treaments.  Sorry Dr. Phil I can't agree with you on this one. there are just some people in this world that are better off by there self.  I don't need her in my life..I don't wish her any bad but i'M NOT HAVING HER GIVING ME UNNEEDED STRESS.  LOVE YOUR SHOW. 

 

TAKE CARE, PATTY IN FLORIDA

 
August 25, 2008, 6:02 pm CDT

I agree

Quote From: monicacon

dear dr. phil i have watched your show today and i am a little up set about how these sisters are acting toward one another, see i have a sister also and she has down syndrome, and she means more to me than life, unfortunately we are the only two i dont have any other syblings, i guess what i am trying to say is that people that have syblings needs to realize that they need to cherish one another and accept who they are they dont have to like what the other does but in the end when their parents are gone they only have one another no one is perfect or better then the other, my sister and i have lost our father 8 yrs ago we only have mom left and it gets harder everyday knowing that my sister isnt in the best of health either and i just dont know what i would do with out her so please everyone that has a sister or brother or more needs to remember that we dont live forever and needs to cherish every day and moment with each other

 

thanks for listening

I think that this is so sad. Sisters are sisters.

 

 
August 25, 2008, 6:10 pm CDT

Sisters

I believe that sisters are meant to love one another. After watching the episode about the fighting sisters, it seems to me that sisters should value the time that they have with their siblings. No matter if is sisters, brothers, or one of each.

 

Thanks for listening.

 
August 25, 2008, 6:19 pm CDT

08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Quote From: fluffyfat

I stand corrected, you're absolutely right. My "car payments or school," suggestion was primarily in response to his mother saying that he "couldn't even get a cell-phone."

I thought other things were more important but you make a good point that it's ultimately his decision and we don't all have to have college degrees. My own son works a non-degree job and has no plans to further his educaction. We're all perfectly happy with that.

I did not graduate high school, nor did I go to college. I had a child when I was barely 16. I worked a variety of nowhere jobs and raised three kids, until I decided to start my own, very successful  business 19 years ago... and I did it alone.

 

But, here's the thing: I never stopped my education. Even though I didn't formally finish high school I got my GED and then continued learning at college level, and beyond. I make it a point to learn several new things every day, because there's no place in my life for ignorance.

 

You just never know where someone will end up...some of the wealthiest, most successful people either did not go to college at all, or dropped out. Bill Gates is a good example. He started at Harvard in pre-law, and then dropped out...and look at him now! 

 

The difference between successful people and "losers" is the ability to dream, and then the willingness to take the steps necessary to realize those dreams. Dreams without ambition are just wasted space in your brain!

 

It just takes some people longer than others to figure out what path to take.   

 
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