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August 25, 2008, 5:30 pm PDT
Oh, Jerry.......
Quote From: jerfrgdDr. Phil, I lost my identical twin sister Terry, February 10, 2006 to cancer, we were very close, even though we had difference in opinions, and it took her 18 months going through the cancer for me to really wake up to how much I needed her, appreciated her, even though did, but you never think death will take your other half, and you don't think about it, until the day you are standing in the hospital room, and the doctor gives you the dreaded news your twin has inoperable cancer. My world came crashing down, and my life was forever changed, and it has never been the same since. I miss her so much, and I have sad days and happy days, but my life was changed forever when I lost my identical twin. I look in the mirror everyday and see her. I miss her so much, and all these twins fighting, hurting one another makes me nausicated to my stomach. I want to tell all the twins out there to cherish all the moments they have with each other, and love one another. I feel like there is a gapping hole in my side, and in my life that won't heal, thank God , I have him and my faith to help me know, one day I will see her again, and she won't be sick, Thanks for reading my email, Jerry Faison
I am an identical twin living in South Carolina. My twin lives in San Francisco. I just posted on another board then I poked my head in here to read the posts.
My eyes are stinging. There is a lump in my throat. I can’t even imagine a loss such as the one you are trying to cope with…..my twin is the closest person to me. I suppose that’s how we as identical twin know how to ‘get’ the other but good! For me, sometimes it just stings more, I suppose. Though my twin and I have always had this back and forth thing that is for the most part playful. My Grandmother used to look at us, shake her head and say, “They’re just like a pair of kittens. Chasing, challenging or got to frolic with each other anytime they’re awake and no matter what they are doing! Why are they always, like that?!? I ain‘t never seen two children, like these two!” I wanted to say, ‘WE’RE TWINS, GRANDMA!’ We wanted to play with each other even if there were ten other kids to play with!
It’s just that I value what she thinks and unfortunately I don’t believe that she sees me as a person who is capable, skilled or talented. That really smarts, too! We’ve always looked forward to seeing each other. Laughing together. We both have a wicked sense of humor. Even though we live 3000 miles apart, I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding. I was the first person to hold her baby and cut the cord!(Her husband passes out at the sight of blood.) I am always there-in spirit-when she’s struggling. I am her loudest and most persistent cheerleader! And, she knows that! There have been times when she was struggling with problems at work….intimidated by someone higher up, that she would be facing and I would say in that moment, “When you face him I want you to think of me standing by your side, holding your hand. In your head, I want you to think of me because I’m going to be sending you a mental CHEER! Whatever, happens just remember, I’m with you and I always will be.”
Things are never perfect. I know that my sister loves me. I think that she just doesn’t value or respect me in the same way I value and respect her. We’re not done, yet though. So, I will keep on being her twin sister and loving her whether we’re at odds or not. I’ll remember that in part because I read your post and it reminded me that twins have a spiritual connectedness that few others will ever experience. I will remember also as I was complaining in my last post that the person I was complaining about is still here for me to argue with.
I send you my sincerest ‘Thanks’ for a reminder I hope all the twins out there can see and read. As for you Jerry, I hope that when you read this post, that you will-if just for a moment- remember Terry and celebrate her memory, rather than mourning her loss. Isn’t that what she would want for you? Wouldn’t she want you to allow yourself the joy of remembering your best times. The funny things that only the two of you shared. I haven’t been where you are but I do know that if you were my twin, I would want you to find some measure of joy, again. Even if you were repeatedly pulled back to the sorrow.
Thinking of You,
Brenda
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Do you ever wonder how your children grow up to be so different despite being brought up in the same house? Rob and Jenna are siblings who had a close relationship growing up. Now that Jenna is immersed in college life, and Rob works at the Dairy Queen, they barely speak. Jenna says her brother needs to grow up, and Rob feels judged by his sister. Their mom joins them and asks Dr. Phil how to motivate Rob to get his feet moving and his butt in gear! And, twins Mandy and Jennifer just can't seem to get along. Mandy says ever since she walked down the aisle, Jen has been jealous of her. Jen says her sister is way too judgmental. Can Dr. Phil help these twins in turmoil repair their bond? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
