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Topic : 08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Number of Replies: 120
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, August 21, 2008, 04:03:35 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you ever wonder how your children grow up to be so different despite being brought up in the same house? Rob and Jenna are siblings who had a close relationship growing up. Now that Jenna is immersed in college life, and Rob works at the Dairy Queen, they barely speak. Jenna says her brother needs to grow up, and Rob feels judged by his sister. Their mom joins them and asks Dr. Phil how to motivate Rob to get his feet moving and his butt in gear! And, twins Mandy and Jennifer just can't seem to get along. Mandy says ever since she walked down the aisle, Jen has been jealous of her. Jen says her sister is way too judgmental. Can Dr. Phil help these twins in turmoil repair their bond? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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August 25, 2008, 6:50 pm CDT

Cherish Them NOW

I watched the show today and was so sad to see sisters who are at odds with each other.  My message to them, and to anyone else with siblings, is to CHERISH THEM NOW.  Dr. Phil brought out how we don't know what the future holds, whether it be short (as in the end of today) or longer (as in many decades)!

I lost my mom and sister when I left a cult (Jehovah's Witnesses) and have not seen or spoken to them for about 7 years.  They have deemed me an "apostate", an evil person (and I'm saying evil as in possessed by demons) and therefore not worthy of their association.  Just because I chose to leave this cult after 45 years and chose a different course for my life. 

I cherished both my mom and sister when we still had a relationship.  I will never regret the things we did together or the many things they did for me and I did for them.  I am glad we had that time because little did I know, back when I was a devout member of this cult, would I one day choose to leave with my husband and sons.  Little did I know that mind control would win out over love for me as their daughter and sister. 

I miss them.  I still love them.

Do not let a day go by without realizing how wonderful family is.  If something has been broken within a relationship, do whatever it is within your power to repair the damage.  Try to be open minded and free to let your loved ones choose their journey in life for themselves (though I would not include self-destructive behavior or "enabling" one who is involved in such behavior as:  drugs, alcohol or abuse in being open minded.  That might be too open minded)!

I had a best friend in my sister and another in my mother.  I no longer have those two as my friends.    Don't let your family go because of real or imagined hurts.  Cherish them.  Keep them close.  You are lucky to have them.

With a hug to all...cathy l.
 
August 25, 2008, 6:57 pm CDT

Get A Clue!

Quote From: noakoi

I think Dr Phil dropped the ball because he did not suggest Rob "get out of his own head" and start thinking in terms of "service to the community."  I think Rob would do well to consider the Peace Corps or service in the United States military. That way, he'd cut the cord with mama and grow up. Dr. Phil does not usually suggest military service as a means to get an education, get a fresh start, and break the dependent ties with overbearing but well meaning parents.  Service to one's country is a great way to begin any career.

I wouldn't suggest it either. It is an active war. Not a boot camp to manhood. As a mother of three boys< I want them to serve because they want to defend our coumtry. Needing to grow up is a maturing process. Dying in war is instant!!!

 
August 25, 2008, 7:35 pm CDT

Loving Sisters Still

I am a twin and i watched the show about the identical twins.  my twin sister and I are not like this at all.  we have a loving relationship even though we live in different states now.  even when we lived in the same state we always loved each other still and protected each other.  the only time we ever argued was when we ever cooked and thats because growing up she wasn't a good cook at that time.  i was cooking alot longer she but learned that she has to do it it also. so over the years  whenever she was cooking and learning i would stay out of the kitchen while mom was teaching her.  this way there would be no arguments and everything is ok.  today my twins is great at cooking.  I worked for over 25 years in restaurants before I became disabled by losing my eyesight and my hearing.  Now i am just at home everyday but I talk with my twin sister on the internet or by phone so i can keep in touch with her.  I even send her cards that i make also.  we even have little loving names we call each other so we always know that we love each other.  she is my twin sister and i cannot live without her to this day even in a different state.I know these sisters will get together and make and be loving even though they are different as night and day.  thats what we are different. but the same. 

 
August 25, 2008, 7:50 pm CDT

siblings fighting over elderly mother's health

My mother is currently taking care of her elderly mother, my grandmother.  My grandmother has been diagnosed (by a doctor) with alzheimers.  My mother requested her siblings take some time to visit with their mother before she gets to the point that she doesn't recognize them.  My mother has been really stressed dealing with my grandmother and her condition and really needed a break.  My Aunt and one of my uncles agreed to take grandma for a couple of weeks between the two of them.  Since my grandma has been visiting with my aunt and uncle they have claimed to see no sign of alzheimer's or any other concerns.  Basically, they are mad at my mother for complaining about taking care of my grandma and they think she is lying about the alzheimers.

 

I went through this with my father's family during the last two years of my grandfather's life.  My grandpa told me numerous times how much it upset him to see his children not getting along.  He made me promise that I would never allow that to happen between me and my sisters ( a promise we plan to keep).

 

My biggest issue is knowing that this immature bickering between siblings (whom are all in their 50's by the way) is going to make the end of my grandmother's life miserable.  I can't stand to see her so sad.  I have tried to play diplomat and get them to focus soley on making her life better regardless of other issues.  This was met with nothing but back stabbing hostility and negativity.  I responded to the negativity with what I planned to do to improve her atmosphere and some suggestions on what others in the family could consider.  I don't know what else to do.  I think I will go crazy if I have to watch grandma suffer watching her children argue and be hateful towards each other.  Especially after seeing how much it affected my grandfather.  Does anyone have suggestions on how to get these adults on a path that will lead to concentrating on my grandma's health and happiness???????  and please, please, don't tell me that it isn't my problem or concern... that is what I heard all through my grandfather's life end, and so I did nothing to resolve the issues.  He died knowing his kids hated each other....

 
August 25, 2008, 7:54 pm CDT

Siblings

Sometimes we have to disengage from our families for our own sanity and health.  Sometimes our siblings do more harm than good, yes it is sad and life is short which makes me feel even stronger about cutting ties to siblings that are toxic in the relationship.  I am a cancer survior and the youngest of 5 children and none of us really talk to each other.  It seems that they are allowed to say and do whatever they please without taking the responsibilty for their words and actions.  They want me to move past it and keep things together for whatever reason.  I would not have friends that treat me that way - why would I want siblings in my life that act that way.  I do  not harbour any ill towards them, I do not hate them ... I just choose not to have them in my life in order to keep positive and healthy.

Just my 2 cents

 
August 25, 2008, 8:10 pm CDT

08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Quote From: tflaker

My mother is currently taking care of her elderly mother, my grandmother.  My grandmother has been diagnosed (by a doctor) with alzheimers.  My mother requested her siblings take some time to visit with their mother before she gets to the point that she doesn't recognize them.  My mother has been really stressed dealing with my grandmother and her condition and really needed a break.  My Aunt and one of my uncles agreed to take grandma for a couple of weeks between the two of them.  Since my grandma has been visiting with my aunt and uncle they have claimed to see no sign of alzheimer's or any other concerns.  Basically, they are mad at my mother for complaining about taking care of my grandma and they think she is lying about the alzheimers.

 

I went through this with my father's family during the last two years of my grandfather's life.  My grandpa told me numerous times how much it upset him to see his children not getting along.  He made me promise that I would never allow that to happen between me and my sisters ( a promise we plan to keep).

 

My biggest issue is knowing that this immature bickering between siblings (whom are all in their 50's by the way) is going to make the end of my grandmother's life miserable.  I can't stand to see her so sad.  I have tried to play diplomat and get them to focus soley on making her life better regardless of other issues.  This was met with nothing but back stabbing hostility and negativity.  I responded to the negativity with what I planned to do to improve her atmosphere and some suggestions on what others in the family could consider.  I don't know what else to do.  I think I will go crazy if I have to watch grandma suffer watching her children argue and be hateful towards each other.  Especially after seeing how much it affected my grandfather.  Does anyone have suggestions on how to get these adults on a path that will lead to concentrating on my grandma's health and happiness???????  and please, please, don't tell me that it isn't my problem or concern... that is what I heard all through my grandfather's life end, and so I did nothing to resolve the issues.  He died knowing his kids hated each other....

have you tried going to the doctor that said your grandma has alzheimers?? I am thinking if you got the family who doesn't believe you or your mom about granny's health they will believe the dr.  just a thought.   when people are not around everyday and do not see the going ons they always have something to say to someone who is arounnd someone everyday.  thats like we was around my grandma everday and took care of her and even lived with her and she had parkinsans and alzheimers also.  my aunt and uncle who wasn't around that much was the one who put her in the nursing home.  they was in charge of everything and blamed us for everything and we took care of her.  so you see it is the ones who is not around that much who cannot see or hear.  one day they will hear, but maybe after its too late.  right now, like I said, maybe if they will hear your granny's dr who diagosed her.  thats all i can suggest.
 
August 25, 2008, 8:12 pm CDT

help me

my sister are being mean to me to they need yo grow up and stop
 
August 25, 2008, 8:28 pm CDT

sisters

to te two sisters that are not talking you need two talk to each ather i glad that my sister is talking to me we are good friends and brather and sister two each ather emial me i wil help you
 
August 25, 2008, 8:56 pm CDT

08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

This show made me very sad.  My daughter is 27 soon to be 28 and my son is 24 soon to be 25, they do not speak to each other. They have not spoken to each other in probably 5 years.  They have not be close at all accept maybe when they were teenagers.  Even then there was tension.  When they became adults they stopped talking to me.  I love my kids with all my heart.  I wish I knew where it all went wrong.  There dad was drinking alot and emotionaly abusive.  I am not sure if it is from that or if I could of been a better parent.  I know I gave them the best I could with what I had.  I love them with all my heart and I wish I could have them back in my life again.   My new husband of almost 9 years said it is nothing I did, it is just something they need to work out.  How long do they have to work it out.  I miss my kids terribly.  My kids do not realize they are a part of my soul.  And my soul is breaking because they have it and won't let me in.  
 
August 25, 2008, 9:50 pm CDT

It's like my life... ;)

I have older sister, who was always "the better one". had better grades at school, didn't ruin her toys or clothes. My mom would always compare me to her and put her as an example. I just HATED her!!! We never really had a relatioship, it was rather a competition... Years passed, we both grew up, graduated university, and I moved to United States. That changed everything. We didn't see each other for about 2 years, we were just talking on the phone or exchanging emails; first very formal, then more personal. Today she is my best friend and I wish I could turn back time to have more great memories of both of us from childhood. I love her to death and even though we have very different personalities, I would kill if someone would try to hurt her. So my message is: LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO FIGHT! Love you @ll
 
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