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Topic : 08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Number of Replies: 120
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Created on : Thursday, August 21, 2008, 04:03:35 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you ever wonder how your children grow up to be so different despite being brought up in the same house? Rob and Jenna are siblings who had a close relationship growing up. Now that Jenna is immersed in college life, and Rob works at the Dairy Queen, they barely speak. Jenna says her brother needs to grow up, and Rob feels judged by his sister. Their mom joins them and asks Dr. Phil how to motivate Rob to get his feet moving and his butt in gear! And, twins Mandy and Jennifer just can't seem to get along. Mandy says ever since she walked down the aisle, Jen has been jealous of her. Jen says her sister is way too judgmental. Can Dr. Phil help these twins in turmoil repair their bond? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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August 25, 2008, 10:36 am CDT

Know-it-all-sisters!

Mornin' Dr. Phil!

Guess we all have 'um!  My 40+ yr old daughters have been at each others throat off and on all their lives.  Only 2 1/2 years between them, but the eldest thinks she is TRULY older, wiser, etc.  To this day she "informs" her sister of what she's done/doing/thought/thinking/planned/planning/wore/wearing wrong!  Including ALL THE ERRORS she's done/doing in raising her children. 

 

The youngest used to come unglued, but pretty much ignores it now.  HOWEVER, the eldest has developed into a solid know-it-all, toward e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e, including me.  I've tried to lovingly tell her that she  needs to learn to listen...she says she realizes it...but then starts talking!  There was a time she totally looked up to me, thought I was THE wisest human ever, etc.  Now she not only "advises" (pushes) me on matters that not only don't concern her, but has decided our home is too much for us and we neeeed to move into a condo.  Uh...NOT!  She talks in painful detail, non-stop with no commas or periods and completely dominates any conversation.  I realize this must be an indication of insecurity, but because she IS so intelligent and talented, there is no reason to be insecure.  Bored maybe, but not insecure.  In any case, she's my baby-girl, as is the youngest, and I'll love her to eternity and back!!  But, boy....does it ever make me tired!  HA!

 
August 25, 2008, 12:18 pm CDT

middle one

  I know how it is to be the middle child.  There is no doubt that I am the black sheep.  My older sister is the brain and my little sister is the baby.  I have always been in trouble in my early years.  Now I got wiser with age.  We lost our dad four years ago.  Our mom is in failing health and not to be with us much longer.  Yet we don't have anything to do with each other now.  When mom goes, we will probably not talk to each other again.  How do I feel about this?  Well I really don't care.  I have always been a loner because of our family.  There was no love,alot of fighting in our family.  I don't care how our family is.  I will keep to myself as I am now.   I hope other people who have problems being the middle child.  May your life be better then mine.  Try to love your family.  You only have one family.  Me,I just give up!!!!
 
August 25, 2008, 12:23 pm CDT

friction between siblings

Hi Dr.Phil.

 

I just wanted to know why is it so hard for parents to have their children at home? It seems to me that as soon as the child turns 18, they need to leave the house.

I'm 20 years old and I am still living at home. I am a fulltime student therefore I don't work. My sister is 4 years older than me and has finish university and college and is still living with us. She has a fulltime job and helps around the house with bills and whatnot. However, my parents don't have a problem with us 2 still living at home. They know that as soon as I am done school and I get a fulltime job that I will be helping them as much as I can. Same as my sister. But my parents don't want me to move out if I'm not ready. I'm not saying I'm going to live with them forever, but aren't parents supposed to be there for their children and make sure they are on the right track before kicking them out of the house and saying "well, you're 18 now so you need to get out of the house".

That's what is on my mind today.

Thanks for listening. :)

 
August 25, 2008, 1:01 pm CDT

Another Twin Loss

Quote From: fietkau2

so sorry to hear about your loss  I have lost a brother to cancer in 2006 thanks for letting me read your email

Hannelore Wilson

I also lost my identical twin sister, Sarah, in a car accident with my father almost 12yrs ago.

There still has not been one day that goes by that I do not wish she were here.  The depth of the pain is unexplainable.  Even to my other 3 siblings, because a twin's bond is deeper and stronger.  I hope these two on your show today can get past such petty judgements.  It is so not worth it!!  Embrace the gift you've been given and delight in a twin's special relationship.

 
August 25, 2008, 1:03 pm CDT

sisters...sort of

Hi Dr. Phil,

Todays subject left me with tears. My little sister Randi and I live 25 miles apart and don't speak. We had a terrible childhood and we were separated when she was three and I was thrirteen so we never really got to know each other. Long story short...we lived separate lives and finally reconnected when I was fifty seven and she was forty seven, she came here to NC and moved in with me and it was a disaster as we were in very different places in our lives and both have a lot of unresolved issues from our childhood, our growing up years with our parents was a nightmare and we were both removed from the home. This is killing me, I have tried many times to reach out and she just will not respond, and we didn't even fight, I really am not sure what is wrong, anyway, thanks for the chance to vent..

Debbie

 
August 25, 2008, 1:03 pm CDT

about the twins

these sisters sounds exactly like my sister and myself! i'm 26 and she's 24, she's very judgemental of my life! she's def initely more motivated than i am with school and stuff but her and my mother have always ganged up on me and because of it, it made me depressed at a very young age! i dropped out of school and never went to college and of course my sister graduated and went to college and is still there! i have such anger towards her for everything she has ever done to me and i don't know how i'm ever gonna get over it! unless she apologizes for all the hurtful things shes said, we will NEVER be close! i don't know what to do, i know i'm older and supposed to set an example but i'm too angry to do it! she doesn't think she did anything wrong! she thinks by telling my how much of a piece of sh*t i am and how much of a loser i was will motivate me to do better! well it doens't work like that! i don't know what to do anymore! if this relationship doesn't get fixed soon, i'm afraid it never will!
 
August 25, 2008, 1:05 pm CDT

Don't wanna grow apart

I have a twin sister and an older sister who is 11 months older than myself, and it seems like sisters only grow apart/create rivalries once they get older and move away. I would love to not grow apart from my sisters because I love them very much, is there anything we can do to keep each other close?
 
August 25, 2008, 1:05 pm CDT

she just hates me

I sat on the edge of my seat today watching the show on know it all sisters.  My sister, my one and only sibling, is four years older than me.  Over the years she has always put me down, put my husband and children down and complained that I don't take care of our parents the way she does.  My husband is in the military and we no longer live in the same town.  We did move a couple of hours away and I was thrilled at the prospect of living closer to her and getting to know my nieces better.  She called me shortly after my move and told me that I do nothing but take advantage of our parents and that she wanted me out of her life forever.  I was shocked, and didn't understand what she was saying.  Over the past two years, I have tried numerous times to bury the hatchet, but she won't budge.  It is tearing up my parents and makes holidays so awkward.  I don't know what to do.  I can honestly say, she has broken my heart.
 
August 25, 2008, 1:13 pm CDT

Too Many Parents

As the youngest of 10, yes, 10 children, I am continually told over and over again what is wrong with me by my brothers and sisters.  I am closest in age to a set of twins that are 8 years older.  The oldest is 20 years older.  I am a 40 year old special education teacher with a masters degree.  I did very well in school and am by no means an idiot.  I am married and own my own home.  Yet some of my siblings who have had major problems with their lives, alchoholism, marrying an alcoholic, having a child get into drugs, having difficulty keeping a job etc. feel that I couldn't possible have an knowledge or expertise on anything.  When problems are brought up for discussion, the response is "It didn't happen."  OR "It was my fault it happened."  Yes, I realize that it is important to ignore a great deal in order to maintain relationships, but after a while, it just becomes demeaning and disrespectful.  And why would anyone wish to maintain a relationship with others who continuously treat them in that manner?
 
August 25, 2008, 1:16 pm CDT

who's vice is worse?

I just watched the sister's talk about how they don't get along. One thing that struck me in the comments they made to each other stuck out. Watching anyone suffer through cancer can be devastating but there are more things to consider than just lung cancer. General health is a big factor to cancer and reducing your risk. Educate yourself on how to decrease your chances of getting cancer but perhaps one sister smokes in the same way one eats emotionally. Both sister's need to build self esteem, it is one thing to point out you have flaws, but you need to accept yourself for who you are and make changes because you want to change your risk. I am a cancer survivor, I too have a some weight to loose and eat for all emotions, but I am working towards a better lifestyle, in my time and my way - not because my sibling has criticised me for my eating habits (they haven't, they are just happy I am here)

 

Do what is best for you, and support your family in their choices. Everyone makes mistakes but need to know the support is unconditional.

 
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