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Topic : 08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Number of Replies: 120
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, August 21, 2008, 04:03:35 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you ever wonder how your children grow up to be so different despite being brought up in the same house? Rob and Jenna are siblings who had a close relationship growing up. Now that Jenna is immersed in college life, and Rob works at the Dairy Queen, they barely speak. Jenna says her brother needs to grow up, and Rob feels judged by his sister. Their mom joins them and asks Dr. Phil how to motivate Rob to get his feet moving and his butt in gear! And, twins Mandy and Jennifer just can't seem to get along. Mandy says ever since she walked down the aisle, Jen has been jealous of her. Jen says her sister is way too judgmental. Can Dr. Phil help these twins in turmoil repair their bond? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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August 26, 2008, 2:12 pm CDT

why are we not on the show??

Quote From: poodle23

hello,

i feel your pain and acknowledge it...but heres a small glimpse into our current situation--my husband and his brother went into business together and after 12 years his brothers wife has managed to changed everything---his brother is now into meth and has stolen all the money from the business and locked us out and has tried to ruin our name around our small town...now we're into legal and it's costing us all that we have managed to save over the years and now we're on the edge of loosing everything including whats left of the business that we started...and the worst part of all of this----we are trying to start a youth foundation and now having to put it on the back burner as we can no longer afford the cost of it!!!!  HELP we're loosing everything due to drugs and stupidity.....and running out of tears!!!!!

                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                upset in arizona,

                                                                                                                     kris

 

Yea it's pretty bad when you can't even trust your family, I am 38 and finally realized their the ones to worry about. I have friends that are better to me than family and one good thing about friends is that you get to choose them! I couldn't even find a lawyer to take up this case w/ my sister and the city police Dept; they have arrested her many times without ID (just believed a her verbally) NOW.......... who would believe a known junkie???  Well apparently a police officer, 4 to be exact, not one of them finger printed her, go figure. when i searched for a lawyer in all major cities here and surrounding states, i got the same answer " well huh you just don't want to go up against the police dept "  " we kinda work together not against each other"   but yea i have a lot to clean up, suppose i have to, and the time doing it yea with 4 kids and work/school/home yea i have all the time in the world. Anyways lol why are we not on the show, these twins on there man so adolesent, elementary fighting. let them walk in our shoes for a day. i do wish you the best in all this mess and i'll keep you in my prayers, the lord will supply in the youth foundation, and you in need. fight back with love not hate.  I kill'em with kindness. trust me it works, God will see YOU through in the end.                                                                                                               "north carolina girl here"
 
August 26, 2008, 2:59 pm CDT

How???

 Dr. Phil,
I am the middle of three sisters.  We've had our times of getting along, but things are at their very worst right now and I don't know what to do. I've mentioned before that i donated a kidney to my older sister on January 6, 2006. It was fairly easy on me and I guaranteed no strings attached. My husband and I continued to help her as much as possible but now she doesn't want to speak to me.  She now says I "forced her to take the kidney out of love" which is not true.  We all wanted her to make her own choice.  It seems that we can never do enough for her and she is angry at everyone - and I mean everyone!  She keeps reaming out our parents for things perceived her way for the last  40 years (and I'm 52, she's 53)! 
  I believe her anti- rejection meds have a lot to do with all this, but I am terrified she is going to die without any of us bonding again.  This is much, much bigger than I am!  Yes, I do pray for her every day and yes, I'm still glad I gave the kidney - no strings attached.  I just wish she was happy and not always negative.  Dr. Phil aways says family comes first, but what if one can't be the hero and try to take the high road. It doesn't always work. And it really hurts.  Each of us has tried to take the high road with her and it doesn't work.
 
August 26, 2008, 3:11 pm CDT

My siblings think my mom love me best

 

I understand these sisters to a point, my siblings don't talk to me, but talks to my mom because they feel she loves me more because when we were young I had to  to go up fast and take care of my older brother and younger sister while my mom worked two jobs, so I got sick and had to be home school and my mom told them if I died she would have to placed them in a home until she come back for them because she did'nt want to leave them home alone and lose them to the state. I love them and always will no matter what. I tried years to mend ends, but enough is enough. The frustration is turned towards me and it gones on and on so these girls need to love each other before it gets out of control where it can't be fixed. Dr. Phil did a good job for these sisters, go Dr. Phil.

 

sign-unloved

 
August 26, 2008, 3:39 pm CDT

Rather ungrateful!

Quote From: juders

 Dr. Phil,
I am the middle of three sisters.  We've had our times of getting along, but things are at their very worst right now and I don't know what to do. I've mentioned before that i donated a kidney to my older sister on January 6, 2006. It was fairly easy on me and I guaranteed no strings attached. My husband and I continued to help her as much as possible but now she doesn't want to speak to me.  She now says I "forced her to take the kidney out of love" which is not true.  We all wanted her to make her own choice.  It seems that we can never do enough for her and she is angry at everyone - and I mean everyone!  She keeps reaming out our parents for things perceived her way for the last  40 years (and I'm 52, she's 53)! 
  I believe her anti- rejection meds have a lot to do with all this, but I am terrified she is going to die without any of us bonding again.  This is much, much bigger than I am!  Yes, I do pray for her every day and yes, I'm still glad I gave the kidney - no strings attached.  I just wish she was happy and not always negative.  Dr. Phil aways says family comes first, but what if one can't be the hero and try to take the high road. It doesn't always work. And it really hurts.  Each of us has tried to take the high road with her and it doesn't work.

I hate to say this because I know you love your sister but jeez, isn't she being pretty ungrateful here? I worry that I'm going to need a kidney some day and I can't turn to any of my siblings (I have 4) because we all have a very rare genetic disorder of the kidneys. I can't turn to my husband because he will need his, he's diabetic, so basically, I have nowhere to turn. I would have to be put on a waiting list! I find her actions incomprehensible and honestly, reprehensible. First of all, how could you possibly have "forced" her to take your kidney? That should have been a life changing moment for her, to see how unselfish you are by this wonderful gift. I'm really sorry to hear how she has treated you after this, you deserve better than that.

 

BTW, maybe you should ask for it back?

 
August 26, 2008, 3:52 pm CDT

Attorneys.........

Quote From: dorsey6

Yea it's pretty bad when you can't even trust your family, I am 38 and finally realized their the ones to worry about. I have friends that are better to me than family and one good thing about friends is that you get to choose them! I couldn't even find a lawyer to take up this case w/ my sister and the city police Dept; they have arrested her many times without ID (just believed a her verbally) NOW.......... who would believe a known junkie???  Well apparently a police officer, 4 to be exact, not one of them finger printed her, go figure. when i searched for a lawyer in all major cities here and surrounding states, i got the same answer " well huh you just don't want to go up against the police dept "  " we kinda work together not against each other"   but yea i have a lot to clean up, suppose i have to, and the time doing it yea with 4 kids and work/school/home yea i have all the time in the world. Anyways lol why are we not on the show, these twins on there man so adolesent, elementary fighting. let them walk in our shoes for a day. i do wish you the best in all this mess and i'll keep you in my prayers, the lord will supply in the youth foundation, and you in need. fight back with love not hate.  I kill'em with kindness. trust me it works, God will see YOU through in the end.                                                                                                               "north carolina girl here"

Have you only talked to the DA? Because they would be the ones who "work with the police". Have you tried talking to a defense attorney? That's what I would suggest. If you could find a really good attorney, preferably from another city, to file a suit, you may be able to get a monetary judgment against the city. That would pay for the attorney also. But you would definitely have to go out of town, no lawyer in the area would be willing to take this on. I would try this if I were you. There is no way that I would allow myself to have a "rap" sheet that didn't truly belong to me. It can cause you serious problems down the road. Best of luck to you!

 

P.S. You can't allow this to stay on your record! Find an attorney from a large city!

 
August 26, 2008, 4:53 pm CDT

08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Quote From: kaysquare

Rob seemed like a healthy young man, capable of working a fulltime job.  If he was mine he would be told that he's 20 yrs old, either he can go to school fulltime & work parttime, or work fulltime and go to school parttime.  His only other option would be one of four things......Army, AirForce, Navy or Marines.  Period!
I agree, He lives under her roof her rules.
 
August 26, 2008, 4:57 pm CDT

Sibling Rivalry

My siblings (1 sister; 3 brothers) and I are courteous enough toward one another but our relationship doesn't go much beyond that. I suppose I'd be saddened if one of them were to pass away, but it probably wouldn't impact my life all that much. We don't live close to one another geographically, and we rarely see each other. My mother died about 3 years ago, and frankly I still don't miss her. She was a good mother as far as taking care of, and providing for, her family. Her short coming was that she was incredibly critical. My sister made the comment that she hasn't had a bout of colitis since my mother died. I agree in principle that family is important, but it's not always practical. Just because you're related to someone doesn't mean you have to like them. I may be related to some people, but I certainly wouldn't choose to be friends with them.
 
August 26, 2008, 5:38 pm CDT

08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

     I dont get how the one sister who works 3 jobs can call working 3 jobs living. Thats not living that is just working yourself to an exhaustion. I dont believe thats good nor healthy. If I was working 3 jobs I would keel over and die. Part of living is going out and having fun. Idont get how working 3 jobs lets you do that...........

         

 
August 26, 2008, 7:09 pm CDT

08/25 Know-it-All Sisters

Hi everyone, This is my first posting. I watched monday's show with so many emotions. I am the oldest of 10 kids with 8 brothers between me and my sister. I had one brother that rubbed me the wrong way to the point that we couldn't stand to be in the same room. He took great pride in getting me so upset that it eventually turned to hatred. I felt a great deal of shame for that. He drowned at the age of 19. I used to be consumed with all the mean things he did to me but  when I stood at his grave I could only remember the fun he had and the ready smile he had for everyone including me. None of the other stuff mattered. It still doesn't.  His friends and his brothers loved him . I miss him.  As I've heard many times,"Life is brief and time is a thief"
 
August 26, 2008, 7:16 pm CDT

Dr. Phil's Not-Always-Good Advice about Family Relations

Hi all -

While I do think Dr. Phil gave some really good advice to the sisters who were at odds with each other, I was a bit dissatisfied with the overall message that all families can get along and should get along. I used to be really close to my sisters but in the past few years have drifted away from them, for my own mental health and survival. When I went through a painful divorce, my oldest sister became very critical of the way I was handling it and was heavy-handed in her criticism of me. (Her comments were often very biting and hurtful.) My other sister, for years now, has stayed positioned in her way of life and views and doesn't move herself to accepting my life choices nor validating my life style. (I am now a single parent, have raised a 20 year old who has disabilities, have a 10 year old, work two jobs, and am a cancer survivor.) When I was diagnosed with cancer, my sisters weren't supportive. In fact, while going through treatment, my oldest sister, after I gave her information on it, wrote me an email that said,"Phew, too much information." While in recovery, I received an email from her telling me of a place I could rent over the Christmas holidays if I planned on visiting. (I live 1500 miles away from them and my parents.) (My sisters no longer open their homes to me or my children.) When I had surgery for more cancer removal, no one in my family called me. When I was going through biopsies and scans, again, no one called, and the worst of it is neither of my sisters asked me once if my children needed anything or asked if there was anything they could do. As my therapist said, I need to quit expecting them to respond in caring and loving ways. Doing so is like dipping a bucket in a dry well. I continue to come up empty and hurt. So -- to get back to the sisters: I think it is unfair and harmful to promote the idea that family members can and should come together. Thinking that way can often to lead to hurt and pain. My goal, instead of reuniting with my sisters, is to attempt to move on and surround myself with people who truly care about me and my children. I think that should be the dominant message -- not pushing family members together just because they are related by blood. Thanks for listening. S.

 
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