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Topic : 08/28 Parenting Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 38
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Created on : Thursday, August 21, 2008, 04:07:50 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If you're a parent who's clueless about how to raise a teen, says words in anger to your kid you wish you could take back or are modeling something that is harming your children, Dr. Phil has advice for making it through tricky parenting dilemmas. His first guest, Justin, is in the 10th grade and says he doesn't want to go to school anymore. His dream is to work for the NFL draft, and he says there's nothing he could possibly learn that will help him achieve that goal. How can his parents show him the importance of an education? Will Dr. Phil's surprises for him inspire him to make the grade? Next, Tom and Kathy say their 8-year-old son is way too competitive in sports, and when he loses he pounds his head and calls himself stupid. Should they call a time-out for their son's activities, or do they need to change their behavior? Plus, parents of a 5-year-old want to know how to keep the monsters and ghosts out of their son's bedroom so they can all get some sleep, and the father of a 13-year-old girl needs help when it comes to boys, makeup and cell phones. Share your own parenting dilemmas and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 28, 2008, 6:07 pm CDT

08/28 Parenting Dilemmas

Quote From: tinkerer

I was out with a grandson and we happened upon an ice cream container that wasn't locked and he said to me... shall we take one, when i said no he said, don't you EVER Take a risk. I told him there is a difference between risk and illegal. Should i sit down with him and discuss this more? i don't want to blow it out of proportion but i also want him to know that that is not acceptable and never will be.
If you don't teach him, maybe no one will.  If you see some news article in the next week about something being stolen, I would bring it up to him and ask him what he thinks about it. 
 
August 29, 2008, 4:25 am CDT

Where to turn..........

Quote From: lisajillyann

Hi everyone,

 Can I draw your attention to the  28 year old- Australian woman who is imprisoned in an Indonesian prison and was sentenced to TWENTY YEARS in jail by this foriegn court where did she not receive a fair trial, not even close. This story is absolutely heart wrenching...if you have a daughter or a sister...you have got to check it out... I don't know this girl, I am from Canada but I am  contacting Dr. Phil and encouraging all his viewers to learn about this story and/or get Dr. Phil to do a show on this story This girl has had her life ripped away from her and her nightmare isn't ending anytime soon. If you see the story..she is just like any one of your neighbours and friends, I just have to try and help and I hope you feel the same. I can't do much alone but if we band together maybe we can help her. Her name is Schapelle Corby..go to her website and you can see her story.  Thanks and sorry to be off topic.If  I am posting in the wrong spot..please direct me better. Thanks.

You can click on the "Ask Dr. Phil" box at the top of the home page to get this story to his staff. Another thing that you can do is to contact the magazine "Marie Claire". They do a story on every month concerning situations like this. Just an idea!
 
August 29, 2008, 5:40 pm CDT

Great show today!

Thank you, Dr. Phil for the great show you did today on parenting.  It looks like the Old (great) Dr. Phil is back!!  Nicer and really helping the guests solve their problems.

 

I hope to see more of this this year!  Great Job!

 

Beth

 
August 30, 2008, 8:21 am CDT

08/28 Parenting Dilemmas

Quote From: getrealtime

First off you have to decide if you are the parent, and stop letting her and her boyfriend parents tell you what to do. Your child is a minor that can't move out of your house. she is not old enough by law to do so.

You have the power here not them, You can call the police and he will go to jail. hes out of the picture and his parents are out of the picture and your daughter has nowhere to go, and you take back your back bone. you can use the law to get control because you my dear are the one that has it but you just don't use it.  Good luck, your child needs you to be stronger the her.

Thank you for your reply.  I needed to hear that I am the parent.  I know it but sometimes it is still hard. Thank you again for your time in reading my post and giving me some much needed advice.  Have a great Holiday weekend.
 
August 30, 2008, 8:24 am CDT

08/28 Parenting Dilemmas

Quote From: russianred

Wow thats a whole lot to deal with, I truly feel for you.  My heart does go out to you.  From my expreince from looking from the outside in, patients is the key.  I saw my mother stuggle with this when my sister at 15 got pregnant and was in the same situation your daughter is currently in. I know this is not what you want to hear and you would like a quick fix.  But truly all you can do is reasure her things are going to work out eventually and you will be there for her.  But also as a parent you have to make bounderies tell her she can try moving in again with the boyfriend but lay out the pros and cons explain to her the benefits of living with you and your husband oppose to living with the boy and his family.  Believe it or not I think she wants you to parent her but not to dictate to her.  Does this make sense?  Sometimes it's better if you let your child think they came up with the solution but in reality you lightly guided them to the better desision with out them realizing it and it makes them feel they are in control.  Remember she stuggling with an extremly full plate and then some.  By the way I am a mother of a 15 year old boy and I'm struggling with the fact he came to me for advice in giving and recieving his first kiss.  I know this does not compare in what your dealing with but if you have any advice for me I would love to hear it.  Hope this helps out a little. 
Thank you for thoughts.  My biggest thing is remembering I'm the parent and that I have the control.  I guess I hate to use that word, but it is what it is.  I need control of the situation, not her so much.  The boys family just wants to do what is easy for them not for my daughter.  Thank you again and good luck with your son, I have a 24 yr old son and I remember those days.  Much different than having a girl though.  Have a great Holiday weekend.
 
August 31, 2008, 6:32 pm CDT

What Worked For Me

 When my oldest daughter was 3 she had the habit of climbing into bed with my Husband and I. We consulted a Child physologist, who told us to lock our bedroom door and not let her in. We did this and our hearts broke as my daughter cried on the other side of the door. After she had fallen asleep we put her back into her own bed. It worked after just that first night she never climbed into bed with us again. She continued to share her concerns with us and our relationship with her did not change. We talked about it the next day, and the subject never came up again.

 

A few years later Kathy and her younger sister Allison began having monster problems. We went the whole look in the closet, under the bed etc... My husband came up with a solution that worked after the first night he used it. He and the girls discussed all the monsters and bad things that was bothering them. He then wrote the monster document / proclemation. This was an official document sighned with my husbands seal. The document was something like Hear Ye, Hear Ye. All those who see these presents greetings... it went on to declare and name all the evil and bad things in their rooms and signed by the King of the House and then officially sealed. They went into each bedroom one at a time. With Kathy they searched her room from top to bottom sealed the screens on the windows and once they were convinced He posted Kathy guard over her room. The same procedure was then done for Allison. After which each girl stepprd into her room and read the document loudly and with authority. Then Allie did the same. He stepped into the hall, He read it out loud and with authority and the document was then posted in a public spot between the bedrooms.   The girls NEVER had aproblem with monsters after that proclemation.  Not only did he validate their feelings, He allowed them to aid in the resolution of the problem.  We never changed any shows they watched, and they slept better. Their friends saw the document and wanted copies, of which we were happy to provide. The actuall wording has been lost, but The girls have copies somewhere for when they have their own families.  It doesn't always have to take weeks or months. It takes thought and validation.

 
September 2, 2008, 7:22 am CDT

08/28 Parenting Dilemmas

Quote From: ssmk0903

Thank you for thoughts.  My biggest thing is remembering I'm the parent and that I have the control.  I guess I hate to use that word, but it is what it is.  I need control of the situation, not her so much.  The boys family just wants to do what is easy for them not for my daughter.  Thank you again and good luck with your son, I have a 24 yr old son and I remember those days.  Much different than having a girl though.  Have a great Holiday weekend.
I think the next thing would be to threated the boys parents that you would have him locked up for having sex with an under age girl and explain to then to back off  and not to influence your daughter and have then to tell her that she needs to be respectful towards you and your usband and heed your advice.  Whats wrong with the boys parents? why do they want to interveen in how you want and need to parent your daughter? 
 
September 4, 2008, 7:10 pm CDT

OMgaaaaw

That Justin kid is an absolute idiot. His second year in high school and he doesn't yet know how important education is. I can't believe it.
 
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