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Topic : 08/28 Parenting Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 38
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, August 21, 2008, 04:07:50 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If you're a parent who's clueless about how to raise a teen, says words in anger to your kid you wish you could take back or are modeling something that is harming your children, Dr. Phil has advice for making it through tricky parenting dilemmas. His first guest, Justin, is in the 10th grade and says he doesn't want to go to school anymore. His dream is to work for the NFL draft, and he says there's nothing he could possibly learn that will help him achieve that goal. How can his parents show him the importance of an education? Will Dr. Phil's surprises for him inspire him to make the grade? Next, Tom and Kathy say their 8-year-old son is way too competitive in sports, and when he loses he pounds his head and calls himself stupid. Should they call a time-out for their son's activities, or do they need to change their behavior? Plus, parents of a 5-year-old want to know how to keep the monsters and ghosts out of their son's bedroom so they can all get some sleep, and the father of a 13-year-old girl needs help when it comes to boys, makeup and cell phones. Share your own parenting dilemmas and talk about the show here.

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August 25, 2008, 5:00 am CDT

re: monsters in closets and bedrooms

Dear Dr. Phil, one of the best things that we did was to turn one of our kids' slippers around facing opposite of the other's direction and set them by the bed. (Buy a set of slippers for this purpose if you must! ) We told our little one that this confused the monsters and would make them stay away. ;)) It worked, too! :) Watching the movie 'Monsters, Inc.' can be of help as well, so long as Mum and Dad are there to talk about it and little one can grasp the concepts. One can learn to 'laugh the monsters away!'

Hope this helped.

Nanc from Ontario, Canada

 
August 25, 2008, 6:33 am CDT

Getting Rid of Monsters

Dear Dr. Phil and Readers, The way my husband and I solved our "monster" dilema was to purchase a Carbon Monoxide detector with digital readout. Since Carbon Monoxide can be dangerous and even kill we solved 2 problems at once. Protecting our family from a deadly gas and telling our kids it was a monster detector. As long as the CM detector reads 0 there are no monsters in the house. If the CM detector reads anything but 0 then it also warns you that you may have a leak. My boys would check that it said there were 0 monsters in the house before bedtime and we never had a problem with them being scared to go to sleep in their own rooms. Hope this helps some other parents that struggle with this issue. Good luck
 
August 25, 2008, 8:49 am CDT

Almost teen

I was out with a grandson and we happened upon an ice cream container that wasn't locked and he said to me... shall we take one, when i said no he said, don't you EVER Take a risk. I told him there is a difference between risk and illegal. Should i sit down with him and discuss this more? i don't want to blow it out of proportion but i also want him to know that that is not acceptable and never will be.
 
August 25, 2008, 10:46 am CDT

Pregnant 16 year old in abusive relationship

My 16 year old daughter is pregnant by an 18 year old boy.  neither one of them are mature enough to have this baby. My daughter has emotional trauma issues from being molested when she was young.  This boy is controlling, verbally and physically abusive.  This is not to say, that my daughter is not the same to him to some degree.  Neither one of them will listen to a thing.  The mother of the boy keeps telling my daughter she can live with them, she stayed there for a bit, but it turned into a mess, which I predicted, but no one will listen to me.  They sent her back to me, and now they want to try it again.  My daughter swears, and I believe her, that she will make my life a living hell if I don't let her live with this boy and his family.  He has done nothing to prepare for this baby, i.e. job. 

 

My daughter is in counseling and has been for at least the last 18 months.  Her counselor does not believe that being with this boy is a safe (emotionally or otherwise) environment for her, but she insists she is going to see him.  What can I do.  Is there any advice from ANYONE?  Her father does nothing to assist me except complain about how bad our daughter is.  I feel extremely alone and no where to turn.  I'm holding on some days by a thread.  

 
August 25, 2008, 12:57 pm CDT

Paenting dilemmas

 

 

  My son Anthony is 13 years old; he has a speech delay and is on a 6 year old boy level.  How do you help him understand all the these things that these children are going though?   How do you help him to get to a 13 year old level or just close to it, so he will not be so left behind.  School does not help they just want to get though the year.  Middle school kids are mean and they recognize that Anthony does not talk or act like them.  So he has come from a boy who was proud of his school and being able to go to school to a boy who does not want to go to school anymore.  He is also in the 7th grade instead of the 9th grade which puts it a little harder on him too.   The only thing he does not do is pound his head and calls hisself stupid, but he does recongnize that he does not talk well.  In which he knows that the other kids and adults can not understand him.  Which hurts him because he tries so hard to be talk well and be excepted.  I have learned about a place that says they can help Anthony go up two or three years.  So I'm hoping and praying that it will work for my son.  My son deserves to be a part of his age group.  I'm a single Mother who wanders what she is going to say to her son about girls, and all the other grown pains that a boy has.  What is your advise for me?

 
August 25, 2008, 1:16 pm CDT

15 year old

I have a fifteen year old girl who has recently started acting out.  She has always been good and a leader.  The only problem I have had is a teen attitude and a fight in the 7th grade which she got sent thru a group counseling for and it really helped.  But this summer we found out she has been drinking alcohol and experimenting with drugs.  We grounded her and then she snuck out of the house at about midnight to meet her boyfriend.  So the grounding continues and the alarm codes have changed and more things have been taken from her.  My fear is that I either do too much or not enough.  Too much, I fear, will push her away or she will completely rebel or run away.  Too little and nothing really changes.  Any help anyone can give would be greatly appreciated.

 
August 27, 2008, 9:36 am CDT

08/28 Parenting Dilemmas

Quote From: gonedaffy

 

 

  My son Anthony is 13 years old; he has a speech delay and is on a 6 year old boy level.  How do you help him understand all the these things that these children are going though?   How do you help him to get to a 13 year old level or just close to it, so he will not be so left behind.  School does not help they just want to get though the year.  Middle school kids are mean and they recognize that Anthony does not talk or act like them.  So he has come from a boy who was proud of his school and being able to go to school to a boy who does not want to go to school anymore.  He is also in the 7th grade instead of the 9th grade which puts it a little harder on him too.   The only thing he does not do is pound his head and calls hisself stupid, but he does recongnize that he does not talk well.  In which he knows that the other kids and adults can not understand him.  Which hurts him because he tries so hard to be talk well and be excepted.  I have learned about a place that says they can help Anthony go up two or three years.  So I'm hoping and praying that it will work for my son.  My son deserves to be a part of his age group.  I'm a single Mother who wanders what she is going to say to her son about girls, and all the other grown pains that a boy has.  What is your advise for me?

has your son been diagnosed with a disability?? because you should have him tested if you haven't yet. first find out whats the reasons for his delays so you know what you are fighting and how you should be going about it.
 
August 27, 2008, 9:49 am CDT

You are the parent aren't you?

Quote From: ssmk0903

My 16 year old daughter is pregnant by an 18 year old boy.  neither one of them are mature enough to have this baby. My daughter has emotional trauma issues from being molested when she was young.  This boy is controlling, verbally and physically abusive.  This is not to say, that my daughter is not the same to him to some degree.  Neither one of them will listen to a thing.  The mother of the boy keeps telling my daughter she can live with them, she stayed there for a bit, but it turned into a mess, which I predicted, but no one will listen to me.  They sent her back to me, and now they want to try it again.  My daughter swears, and I believe her, that she will make my life a living hell if I don't let her live with this boy and his family.  He has done nothing to prepare for this baby, i.e. job. 

 

My daughter is in counseling and has been for at least the last 18 months.  Her counselor does not believe that being with this boy is a safe (emotionally or otherwise) environment for her, but she insists she is going to see him.  What can I do.  Is there any advice from ANYONE?  Her father does nothing to assist me except complain about how bad our daughter is.  I feel extremely alone and no where to turn.  I'm holding on some days by a thread.  

First off you have to decide if you are the parent, and stop letting her and her boyfriend parents tell you what to do. Your child is a minor that can't move out of your house. she is not old enough by law to do so.

You have the power here not them, You can call the police and he will go to jail. hes out of the picture and his parents are out of the picture and your daughter has nowhere to go, and you take back your back bone. you can use the law to get control because you my dear are the one that has it but you just don't use it.  Good luck, your child needs you to be stronger the her.

 
August 27, 2008, 11:41 pm CDT

HELP! SOS! I need some advice

  My son who just turned 15 two weeks ago asked me for some advice about him possibly having his first kiss!!!  I was scared and still am and extremly worried still am !!!  UHHH I'm not sure if I totally went about it in a complete sain way.  I think he could see the panic in my eyes.  I know there are people out there saying whats the big deal he's a boy; but just like girls, boys are just as sensative when it comes to their feelings but seem to be less expressive. After I regrouped in my head as fast as I could and changed the expression of fear panic etc... on my face I asked him if he truly felt the girl that was in question of his first kiss was worthy.  Yes I asked if she was worthy.  You hear all the advice to make she we tell our girl children that they need to make sure the boy they want to date, meet their standards etc... , but we never hear or seem to discuss what our boy children should expect from their female counter parts.  I wish Dr. Phill would have a show on this!!!!  Some of the girls I've seen that attend my sons high school look and dress like they either need to be attending college or should be on a commercial for girls gone wild .  And some of the stories I hear about girls in high school these days make me feel like I was a nun when I was in school and believe me I was no nun . LOL!!!  Anyhow is there anyone out there that could give me some advice???      
 
August 27, 2008, 11:43 pm CDT

HELP! SOS! I need some advice

  My son who just turned 15 two weeks ago asked me for some advice about him possibly having his first kiss!!!  I was scared and still am and extremly worried still am !!!  UHHH I'm not sure if I totally went about it in a complete sain way.  I think he could see the panic in my eyes.  I know there are people out there saying whats the big deal he's a boy; but just like girls, boys are just as sensative when it comes to their feelings but seem to be less expressive. After I regrouped in my head as fast as I could and changed the expression of fear panic etc... on my face I asked him if he truly felt the girl that was in question of his first kiss was worthy.  Yes I asked if she was worthy.  You hear all the advice to make she we tell our girl children that they need to make sure the boy they want to date, meet their standards etc... , but we never hear or seem to discuss what our boy children should expect from their female counter parts.  I wish Dr. Phill would have a show on this!!!!  Some of the girls I've seen that attend my sons high school look and dress like they either need to be attending college or should be completely done with school .  And some of the stories I hear about girls in high school these days make me feel like I was a nun when I was in school and believe me I was no nun . LOL!!!  Anyone out there that could give me some advice???      
 
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