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Topic : 09/04 Ask Dr. Phil

Number of Replies: 41
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Created on : Friday, August 29, 2008, 12:05:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Nothing is off limits as Dr. Phil answers viewers’ questions! First up, Angel says she and her husband, Don, seem like the all-American family, but despite her soccer mom demeanor, she’s hiding a deadly secret: she’s addicted to pain pills. Angel admits to being high while driving with her kids, and she says she even gambles her husband’s paycheck away. Can Angel get her life back on track, and will Don be able to trust his wife again? Then, 17-year-old Jocelyn says she has to care for her two younger siblings while her mother, Lori, parties all night with 20-somethings. Lori denies that Jocelyn is forced to police her, yet she admits using the teen as a babysitter while she drinks at bars. Does Lori need to get real about her behavior? Plus, don't miss the horrific story of one teen's online mistake that nearly cost her life. Find out how you can keep your kids safe in cyberspace. And, meet a mother who says her 17-year-old son believes he’s God’s gift to women, and she fears he'll grow up to be a womanizer. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 4, 2008, 11:49 am CDT

09/04 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: hpmx59

And Ask Doctor Phil/Robin. Doctor Phil/Robin What is a selfish anyway? My sister is selfish and will not-----

send me a pictures of my Birthday party in Drake, Colorado on Saturday July 19th. 2008.  My real birthday--

was on Friday July 18th, 2008 because I turn 50th this year. See you on Thursday September 94th, 2008.--

Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy belated birthday Russell!!!
 
September 4, 2008, 12:30 pm CDT

8/4/2008

Dr. Phil I don't belive a word this women is saying about her addiction and spending and gambling habit and am so surprise about her husband reaction.  Am confused aren't you.  she is not trustworthy at all.
 
September 4, 2008, 12:35 pm CDT

I am so living through this right now!!!!

My husband and I have been married for 7 years now and in the last couple seems to have gotten worse and worse. First he had surgery and got addicted to oxycotin and his attitude was ignorant when he was using and mean.

 

Then he gets off them and started on oxycodone and says its not the same med- got addicted to them.

 

Then he tells me endocets are not a narcotic??? I am listening to this women say the same things hub said its unbelievable!! He has spinal stenosis and degenrative disc ,but does not change the fact he is addicted.

 

He has left our babys crib rail down 3 times he admitts to 2 times. He locked the back door ,but umm left it open and had all the locks locked. Open 3 inches with all the locks locked but not really locked because it was open!! We live in a bad area and it has rat issues---- ugh!

 

So then he admitts he is addicted. Then says but I'm not an addict. Well then a liquor store calls that he usually cashes his check at. Says he owes them money from a bounced payroll check. Supposedly the company hub works for noticed that one of his previous work checks did not clear. So they reissued the check to my hub. But it should of went to the place where he cashes his check. Instead he took that check cashed it and spent it supposedly gambling at pokerstars online in March. When I asked to see the screen name so I could see the transaction history from there he forgets??? Come on he bought pills.

 

So anyway he crashes my car into the back of a women. Which his doctor said during that time he took 240 percocets 7.5/750 tablets in 9 days. Come to find out he was going to more then one doctor getting meds on top of that. So I tell him he can no longer drive until he gets it together. His doctor wants me to hold his pain meds. So he gives me the prescription. I am to give him 4 a day. Well it all worked well for 6 weeks and he was getting back to normal some.

 

Then he had an infection in a sensitive area. I think he caused it to get worse to get in the hospital to get more pain meds then what I was giving him. I pick him up from the hospital and the conversation went like this.

 

Did you get any pain medication?

he said no

I said okay what prescriptions did you get?

he said just an antibiotic

I said well where are the hospital papers I want to see them?

he was like you dont need to see them

"this set off my alarm" I said I want to see them

he says yes I got a pain medication but its not strong

I said what med?

he said Tylox

I said that is a strong med they gave it to me after I had surgery and you already have pain meds!

I said I want the prescription you don't need that.

He said no Im not giving it to you

I said give it to me its either the pills or your family

He said I am not giving it to you

I said then get out --of the car---

So he gets out

then I come back around because I could not leave him on the road side

 

After a night on the couch and him argueing with me.

He says he is sorry then rips up the prescription and jokes thast he can retape it together. not sure its a joke

 

Anyway he thinks its about me wanting to control him because i have to give him his meds

so I gave them to him. I told him if he doesnt straighten up its over I want to be married to a man

not mothering a grown adult with an addiction.

 

I dont know what else to do??? I am still lost with this???

I just know I got to protect my children and that he can not drive while in this condition

 

 
September 4, 2008, 1:40 pm CDT

Being a mom

Your guest said that she felt like her daughter had no idea what it was like to be a mom, well, I think the mom has no idea what it is like to be a mom!! Being a mom does not include going out 3 nights a week. Someone who is "out" that often is not with their kids sufficiently enough to know what it is like to be a mom!! Being a mom is a decision and a commitment. Just because it gets tough and you get "tired" of hearing mom doesn't give you a right to get away. You stick it out, that is life. She should listen to her older daughter and be glad that she has a chance to make it right now instead of her daughter not being mature enough to bring it to her attention and having resentment later. A mom is ALWAYS there, not partying!!!!!!
 
September 4, 2008, 1:40 pm CDT

hooray for angel and !!

Quote From: gracie33

Before you start to judge Angel, I think there is something you all must know.  This episode of Dr. Phil was actually taped over a year ago.  Angel did go to rehab shortly after the taping of this show.  It has been a year since Angel admitted herself to rehab, started working a program of recovery and is one of the strongest individuals I know in the program and with her faith in God.  Angel has worked through the challenges with her husband and their relationship has grown and become stronger.  She is a wonderful mother to her children and puts their needs and wants above her own.  Angel works a very strong NA program and is now sponsoring others to help them in their recovery process.  Angel has turned her life around, faces her challenges on a day to day basis with the support of her family, friends and most importantly God.  As you watch the show tomorrow and find yourself judging Angel, feeling sorry for her family, keep in mind that Agel has turned her life around and you can too.,

this is the best message on this board!... I was watching and wondering (knowing this was a repeat), how she was doing so I thank you for this update. Gambling is an awful addiction. It truly destroys every aspect of self worth and the relationships involved. CD is also devastating so there was a double whammy there. I am very happy her husband stuck it out with her. I had a feeling he would. I missed the beginning of the show so I don't know what her issues were around pain, or if she had any true chronic pain issues to deal with on top of it.  It sounded as though she took a variety of meds?? What I had heard about the ultracet didn't sound over the top so I'm sure I missed something there. Either way, I am very happy for her, her marriage and her children. I wish them all the best in the world!
 
September 4, 2008, 1:41 pm CDT

to angel and anyone who judges her

Angel i know how you feel. i was the same way. i lied about everything to my husband and family. i did it for 6 years. i nearly died. i wasnt a gambler but i did pawn my ring and lost it more than once. we lost our car.  our lights, water, and gas was shut off. we almost lost it all. i finally hit rock bottum when i was arrested for forgeing a prescription. i didnt go to jail instead i went to drug court and rehab. that alone wasnt good enough for me to stop. until i over dosed, they put me on methadone for the with drawls. that posed another problem, all i did was sleep. my husband took my car keys from me because i couldnt stay awake. i would pass out while eating, driving, smoking, and anything i did. i have set our couch on fire, our bed on fire and my clothes while i was wearing them. i would call family members on the phone and fall asleep while talking. my point here is that, i dont want you to jump out of the frying pan right into the fire. i finally got better with the help of jesus christ and my church family.  i am no longer on drugs. i am doing so well. please dont lose hope it will be hard but i have faith in you. i know you can do it. you are the only one who can change yourself, but you cant do it by yourself. no body could help me. i never believed in god, but i know now that jesus was all i ever needed. you might not like religion or believe in god but until you do, youll never change. give it to god and dont beat yourself up over it. if you ever need support just message me on here i can be there for u.      have hope and never give up.
 
September 4, 2008, 1:44 pm CDT

The Daily Message Board

Why do some people post their comments on this message board BEFORE they watch the episode of Dr. Phil for that day?  Am I wrong or are these message boards for posting comments AFTER you watch the show?
 
September 4, 2008, 1:49 pm CDT

trust me i know what im saying

Quote From: sandy01

My husband and I have been married for 7 years now and in the last couple seems to have gotten worse and worse. First he had surgery and got addicted to oxycotin and his attitude was ignorant when he was using and mean.

 

Then he gets off them and started on oxycodone and says its not the same med- got addicted to them.

 

Then he tells me endocets are not a narcotic??? I am listening to this women say the same things hub said its unbelievable!! He has spinal stenosis and degenrative disc ,but does not change the fact he is addicted.

 

He has left our babys crib rail down 3 times he admitts to 2 times. He locked the back door ,but umm left it open and had all the locks locked. Open 3 inches with all the locks locked but not really locked because it was open!! We live in a bad area and it has rat issues---- ugh!

 

So then he admitts he is addicted. Then says but I'm not an addict. Well then a liquor store calls that he usually cashes his check at. Says he owes them money from a bounced payroll check. Supposedly the company hub works for noticed that one of his previous work checks did not clear. So they reissued the check to my hub. But it should of went to the place where he cashes his check. Instead he took that check cashed it and spent it supposedly gambling at pokerstars online in March. When I asked to see the screen name so I could see the transaction history from there he forgets??? Come on he bought pills.

 

So anyway he crashes my car into the back of a women. Which his doctor said during that time he took 240 percocets 7.5/750 tablets in 9 days. Come to find out he was going to more then one doctor getting meds on top of that. So I tell him he can no longer drive until he gets it together. His doctor wants me to hold his pain meds. So he gives me the prescription. I am to give him 4 a day. Well it all worked well for 6 weeks and he was getting back to normal some.

 

Then he had an infection in a sensitive area. I think he caused it to get worse to get in the hospital to get more pain meds then what I was giving him. I pick him up from the hospital and the conversation went like this.

 

Did you get any pain medication?

he said no

I said okay what prescriptions did you get?

he said just an antibiotic

I said well where are the hospital papers I want to see them?

he was like you dont need to see them

"this set off my alarm" I said I want to see them

he says yes I got a pain medication but its not strong

I said what med?

he said Tylox

I said that is a strong med they gave it to me after I had surgery and you already have pain meds!

I said I want the prescription you don't need that.

He said no Im not giving it to you

I said give it to me its either the pills or your family

He said I am not giving it to you

I said then get out --of the car---

So he gets out

then I come back around because I could not leave him on the road side

 

After a night on the couch and him argueing with me.

He says he is sorry then rips up the prescription and jokes thast he can retape it together. not sure its a joke

 

Anyway he thinks its about me wanting to control him because i have to give him his meds

so I gave them to him. I told him if he doesnt straighten up its over I want to be married to a man

not mothering a grown adult with an addiction.

 

I dont know what else to do??? I am still lost with this???

I just know I got to protect my children and that he can not drive while in this condition

 

i have been there where your husband is, i know how he feels. i know how you feel too. you just need to pray and support him without enableing him. dont make it easy for him to get high. my husband held my meds and locked them up in a lock box and would only give them to me when it was time. i dont recommend this because i went crazy on my husband and hit him because he wouldnt give me my meds. i found a way to break in to the lock box. my point is just, be there for him and love him.

 
September 4, 2008, 1:50 pm CDT

Ditto. I hope Dr. Phil had a Happy Birthday September 1st, too.

Quote From: PennyLane78

Happy belated birthday Russell!!!
 
September 4, 2008, 2:13 pm CDT

I see myself going down the pill addict lane....

Things have been really stressed lately.  My husband (of 10 years) and I are constantly fighting.   I was hoping he would grow out of his immaturity and I have been killing myself doing things to help him get over this peter pan syndrome.   I take pills for severe migraines.  I usually take them as needed but I'm anticipating a migraine just about everyday because of his behavior.   So, 2 pills becomes 3 pills of one prescription and then I take a pill from the other prescription just for good measure.  Here's an example of what I'm dealing with...

 

The last fight we had he said to me "no wonder why my friends don't like you".  A 37 year old man said that!   I told him that I don't care what his friends think but it makes me sad that he can talk about me like a peice of trash when I haven't done anything wrong.   He says I don't let him do anything anymore.   I asked him to give me an example.  He said that a friend asked him if he wanted to go to a concert and he said no, because I wouldn't let him.  It was mainly because he didn't want to hurt his friends feelings because he didn't want to go.  But he still blamed it on me.  He didn't even ask me.   The concert he did ask me to go to I said sure, as long as I don't have to go(I'm not a big fan of that particular band).  I don't say no to normal adult requests but when I can forsee a disaster coming, 10 years you get a hunch, I say why do you want to do that???  He use to go dirt bike riding and would always come home and lie on the couch for 2 days in pain.  He did this when our first born child was 3 weeks old and I was recovering from a c-section.  Not only was I extremely sore and tired from 3 days of taking care of a newborn by myself , now I had to take care of him.   He still holds that against me that I wouldn't let him go anymore.  I told him that he's not 19 anymore and he can't handle it.  The latest incident happened about a month ago.  I was 100 miles away from home with the kids (now 10 and 6) on vacation and he asked to go out to a party that a long lost friend was having.  The problem with this is that my husband doesn't know how to come home from parties.   The worst occassion was when he didn't come home for Christmas and the least worst occassion I didn't know where he was for about 10 hours.   So I obviously said no.  If I was home that would be one thing but I was 100 miles away.  If something happened (which it usually does) I can't be there in 10 minutes.  Why do I have to be there in 10 minutes?  Cause he'll be stuck someplace without a ride, no one can give him a ride home, everyone is too drunk to drive, blah, blah, blah. 

 

So after 10 years of this I finally decided that I'm functional on my migraine medication.  I don't necessarily have a migraine but that doesn't stop me from popping a few pills because it takes the stress away and stress for me triggers a migraine.  We agreed on a few things that we were going to change about ourselves and I have been breaking my neck changing the things he asked me too while he is still sighing and rolling his eyes and stomping his feet.  He says I treat him like a 17 year old.  I say, aren't you?

 

I don't want to be a pill addict, I really don't , but at this point I can't live without them.

 
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