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Topic : 09/04 Ask Dr. Phil

Number of Replies: 41
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Created on : Friday, August 29, 2008, 12:05:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Nothing is off limits as Dr. Phil answers viewers’ questions! First up, Angel says she and her husband, Don, seem like the all-American family, but despite her soccer mom demeanor, she’s hiding a deadly secret: she’s addicted to pain pills. Angel admits to being high while driving with her kids, and she says she even gambles her husband’s paycheck away. Can Angel get her life back on track, and will Don be able to trust his wife again? Then, 17-year-old Jocelyn says she has to care for her two younger siblings while her mother, Lori, parties all night with 20-somethings. Lori denies that Jocelyn is forced to police her, yet she admits using the teen as a babysitter while she drinks at bars. Does Lori need to get real about her behavior? Plus, don't miss the horrific story of one teen's online mistake that nearly cost her life. Find out how you can keep your kids safe in cyberspace. And, meet a mother who says her 17-year-old son believes he’s God’s gift to women, and she fears he'll grow up to be a womanizer. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 4, 2008, 2:40 pm CDT

Don...

I had to be hit upside the head too.  If you ever

need someone to talk too, Dr. Phil should be able to give you my e-mail address.

 
September 4, 2008, 3:26 pm CDT

i agree,

Quote From: KathySue

Why do some people post their comments on this message board BEFORE they watch the episode of Dr. Phil for that day?  Am I wrong or are these message boards for posting comments AFTER you watch the show?

i agree  and not to mention,   is it just me or did Dr Phil completely just walk over that

girls problems with trust.  The GIrl had been held and raped for like 14 days and was

at the show to try to gain some trust back in her life and the Doc did not say one thing

 to her about how to regain her trust and other trust issue.

 

 

 
September 4, 2008, 3:27 pm CDT

Angel the Addict

I was married to a man addicted to pain pills and we lost our business and home(bankrupt and bank foreclosures and personal bankruptcies).  Addicts become pathelogical liars and cannot change.  Trust me I lost everything even though he went to an addiction outpatient program, and then a methadone clinic.  I was the ever forgiving completely devoted spouse you stood by him and tried to understand and work with the addiction program, tried herbal remedies to also help, spent endless nites through his withdrawals to no avail.....
Angel's husband should leave her-.  My husband also hawked his wedding ring (told me he lost it) and to this day still lies about being clean and thinks that I am stupid enough to believe him - I could not believe it when I watched Dr. Phil - It was like watching my ex husband reincarnated as a woman.
Message to Angel's husband - RUN AND RUN FAST AND DO NOT LOOK BACK !!!!!!  TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HER AND GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!!!
 
September 4, 2008, 3:35 pm CDT

Painkiller Addiction

My sister in law died last year as a result of her addiction to painkillers.  She was starting a new life, getting ready to move to another state to be closer to family and to get a fresh start.  She accidentally overdosed on two different drugs (methadone and vicodin) --She left behind an adult daughter, an adult disabled son that she cared for at home, and two grandchildren whom she had custody of.  The disabled son is in a group home, the daughter is on the streets as far as we know.  The grandchildren were separated.  It's a senseless death, and I wish others would get help before they kill themselves.
 
September 4, 2008, 3:36 pm CDT

BEEN THERE AND LEFT!

Quote From: sandy01

My husband and I have been married for 7 years now and in the last couple seems to have gotten worse and worse. First he had surgery and got addicted to oxycotin and his attitude was ignorant when he was using and mean.

 

Then he gets off them and started on oxycodone and says its not the same med- got addicted to them.

 

Then he tells me endocets are not a narcotic??? I am listening to this women say the same things hub said its unbelievable!! He has spinal stenosis and degenrative disc ,but does not change the fact he is addicted.

 

He has left our babys crib rail down 3 times he admitts to 2 times. He locked the back door ,but umm left it open and had all the locks locked. Open 3 inches with all the locks locked but not really locked because it was open!! We live in a bad area and it has rat issues---- ugh!

 

So then he admitts he is addicted. Then says but I'm not an addict. Well then a liquor store calls that he usually cashes his check at. Says he owes them money from a bounced payroll check. Supposedly the company hub works for noticed that one of his previous work checks did not clear. So they reissued the check to my hub. But it should of went to the place where he cashes his check. Instead he took that check cashed it and spent it supposedly gambling at pokerstars online in March. When I asked to see the screen name so I could see the transaction history from there he forgets??? Come on he bought pills.

 

So anyway he crashes my car into the back of a women. Which his doctor said during that time he took 240 percocets 7.5/750 tablets in 9 days. Come to find out he was going to more then one doctor getting meds on top of that. So I tell him he can no longer drive until he gets it together. His doctor wants me to hold his pain meds. So he gives me the prescription. I am to give him 4 a day. Well it all worked well for 6 weeks and he was getting back to normal some.

 

Then he had an infection in a sensitive area. I think he caused it to get worse to get in the hospital to get more pain meds then what I was giving him. I pick him up from the hospital and the conversation went like this.

 

Did you get any pain medication?

he said no

I said okay what prescriptions did you get?

he said just an antibiotic

I said well where are the hospital papers I want to see them?

he was like you dont need to see them

"this set off my alarm" I said I want to see them

he says yes I got a pain medication but its not strong

I said what med?

he said Tylox

I said that is a strong med they gave it to me after I had surgery and you already have pain meds!

I said I want the prescription you don't need that.

He said no Im not giving it to you

I said give it to me its either the pills or your family

He said I am not giving it to you

I said then get out --of the car---

So he gets out

then I come back around because I could not leave him on the road side

 

After a night on the couch and him argueing with me.

He says he is sorry then rips up the prescription and jokes thast he can retape it together. not sure its a joke

 

Anyway he thinks its about me wanting to control him because i have to give him his meds

so I gave them to him. I told him if he doesnt straighten up its over I want to be married to a man

not mothering a grown adult with an addiction.

 

I dont know what else to do??? I am still lost with this???

I just know I got to protect my children and that he can not drive while in this condition

 

DONT BELIEVE A WORD YOUR HUSBAND SAYS - READING YOUR MESSAGE WAS LIKE RELIVING MY LIFE.  i HAVE BEEN THERE WITH MY EX AND FINALLY AFTER GOING TO REHAB ALL THE BROKEN PROMISES AND CONSTANT LIES AND LOSING EVERYTHING CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY HAVING THE BANK REPOSSESS OUR HOME LOSING OUR BUSINESS I FINALLY LEFT WITH MY SON 4 YEARS AGO AND IF I HAD NOT I KNOW THAT SOMETHING HORRIBLE WOULD HAVE HAPPENED  - MY SON WAS AN INFANT AND TODDLER AT THE TIME AND WAS FINDING BILLS ALL OVER THE HOUSE!   MY EX WOULD DENY TAKING THEM AND THEN FLUSHING THEM DOWN THE TOILET IN FRONT OF ME WHEN I FOUND THEM - RIP UP PRESCRIPTIONS ETC ETC ONLY TO HAVE 2 OR 3 DRS TO GO TO AND GET MORE NOT TO MENTION HOW EASY THEY ARE TO GET ON THE STREET  ------ MY THOUGHTS - RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I AM SO HAPPY I DID.....
 
September 4, 2008, 4:10 pm CDT

I'M SO GLAD ANGEL GOT HELP

Quote From: gracie33

Before you start to judge Angel, I think there is something you all must know.  This episode of Dr. Phil was actually taped over a year ago.  Angel did go to rehab shortly after the taping of this show.  It has been a year since Angel admitted herself to rehab, started working a program of recovery and is one of the strongest individuals I know in the program and with her faith in God.  Angel has worked through the challenges with her husband and their relationship has grown and become stronger.  She is a wonderful mother to her children and puts their needs and wants above her own.  Angel works a very strong NA program and is now sponsoring others to help them in their recovery process.  Angel has turned her life around, faces her challenges on a day to day basis with the support of her family, friends and most importantly God.  As you watch the show tomorrow and find yourself judging Angel, feeling sorry for her family, keep in mind that Agel has turned her life around and you can too.,

I watched Angel on Dr. Phil today with tears in my eyes, I felt her pain. I've been opiate-free since August 17, 2006. That was the day I took my last 1 mg dose of methadone. I attended a methadone clinic for 4 years, the last 3 spent tapering down off of the methadone. So many people are uneducated when it comes to addiction, some blurt out things such as "you're trading one addiction for another" or other one-liners that they might have even heard someone else say. It's much easier to wean off of methadone, which is a synthetic opiate, as opposed to hydrocodone pills.

 

I have had severe back pain for 32 years and could have milked that all of my life for pain medication. I chose not to, because I saw the road I was headed down. I cut it off at the pass, as when I fast-forwarded into wondering what my future might have been like, it was very bleak. And compared to most patients at the methadone clinic, I was on a low dose of opiates. Many couldn't believe I was even on methadone, said you can kick that yourself. I would think to myself, "Speak for yourself."

 

At the height of my addiction to opiates, I was taking 20 pills per day of 10/500 (10 mg hydrocodone - the opiate/500 mg of acetaminophen). What hurts the liver is the acetominophen.  Usually, doctors write scripts for 5/500 mg or 10/1,000 mg, trying to keep the patient from becoming dependent on the opiate, treating with the lowest amount of opiate possible and very short-term.

 

I was prescribed 3 pills per day, 10/500 mg hydrocodone/acetaminophen, #90 per month. It was for  herniated disk pain, three herniated disks. The excruciating pain that I eventually grew to have wasn't touched by any other pain med except opiates. 

 

I've worked for two psychiatrists in the past and am now a medical transcriptionist at home, typing radiation oncology patient notes. I'm familiar with drugs and my family doctor knew this.  He has been my doc for 34 years (I'm 51 years old, saw him first at age 18), he told me before prescribing it for me that I should know this is intended for short-term use, it's a very powerful narcotic and that he couldn't keep treating my symptoms, that I needed to take care of the problem, surgery on the three herniated disks.

 

Long story short, I couldn't have the surgery done because I couldn't take time off work.  I don't get paid unless I work, as I am paid based on my production, paid per line that I type.  After two years, which was way past what my doc said he would prescribe it, he said I just can't continue this anymore.

 

By then, I saw where I was headed, told him I was addicted and he said he knew that, because it has been two years.  He knew I had a higher tolerance since I had been taking it so long. He doesn't know I used to buy it from my friends' friends, some friends gave them to me, knew I had a problem but knew I had to take care of it. 

 

My doctor sent me to a pain clinic. That doc cut my pills back to #30 and gave me an injection in my spine which worked for about 3 days with keeping the pain at bay. I knew I was in trouble.  I'm a big weenie and can't stand that uncomfortable feeling you get when you need more opiates in your system JUST TO GET THROUGH THE DAY, NOT EVEN TO GET A HIGH.  When I starting waking up and the first thing on my mind was "where am I gonna' find 20 pills today" - that's when I knew I needed help big time.

 

I phoned a friend I knew had gone to the same methadone clinic years prior and I called the clinic. They said I had to be in withdrawal when I came for my appt in order to be accepted, and this was a Friday afternoon. I made an appt with the doctor at the methadone clinic for an intake physical exam, blood work, and to start on methadone for Monday morning.  They told me to stop taking my pills at 3pm Sunday afternoon.

 

That Sunday was the longest night of my life. No sleep, that wasn't gonna' happen.....out of the question, uncomfortable to say the least, could not sit still... pacing, muscles aching, I stood in a cool shower most of the night..... alone.  I live alone.  I was 45 years old at the time, this was 2001, the year my Mom died. 

 

I had to be at the clinic at 6AM Monday morning, driving across a bridge enroute and I hate bridges! I got so used to that bridge, I could drive across it in my sleep after so many trips. You have to attend the methadone clinic and receive your daily dose of methadone each day in front of the nurse, $12 per dose, no matter what the dose is, 1 mg cost $12 and 150 mg cost $12.  It was red liquid.  You have to go every day, 6 days a week for ONE YEAR until you get clean urine tests and don't miss days, then you earn the privilege to take home two doses and come back every two days.  You then keep earning more take-home doses as you go along.

 

I never missed a day.  Every morning, 6 days a week (they gave you one take-home dose for Sundays and holidays. I was able to take home two-weeks of methadone after a year.  I went up to 84 mg, starting at 5 mg and going up 5 per week until I felt "comfortable." I felt comfortable at 84 mg. After six months on 84 mg, I started weaning down, per the doctor's instructions 1 mg per week. Doesn't sound like a lot.  I said, "One mg?  You mean 10 mg?" He said, "No, one mg per week."  I then found out why. 

 

This is powerful, methadone. Some people take it for chronic pain all of their life and it works great. Some are prescribed methadone by their physicians, but not many. There is such a stigma on addiction, especially methadone, it makes me so mad.  I saw so many peoples' lives turned around at that clinic. Girls who I first saw in their pajamas, dirty, hair messed up, they started looking better each week. They started wearing clean clothes, they started fixing their hair and wearing make-up, then they started talking about job interviews, then jobs! I saw lives saved by methadone, families saved, that's what I saw!

 

Opiate addiction is so, so scary. The person on opiates is not the true person. I never doctor-shopped, but I would have. I never bought off of the street, but I would have. Eventually, I would have done anything to get them, I saw that down that bleak road.  I judge NOBODY.  I've been there.  I know how horrible it feels to need to take pills just to get through the day. I needed them so I could keep my apartment clean, do the housework, do my typing all day, run errands.

 

But I could have said I needed them forever. I see so many people who need help, but they just don't hit the bottom or else they rationalize their use, which I what I was doing.  "BUT MY BACK PAIN! MY BACK PAIN!"

 

As I weaned off methadone, the doctor told me to come down to 60 mg and stop for a month, start down 1 mg per week again and stop at 40 mg, this to allow your body to adjust. I got down to 10 mg per day and hit a brick wall. I started having mild withdrawal symptoms, not feeling comfortable in my own skin, just not comfortable. Not sure how to describe it. Wasn't able to focus on my typing/my work. My paycheck dropped really low because I wasn't producing enough work. However, I got through it and stopped at 10 mg for a few months.  I then started the wean down to 0 mg per day, 1 mg per week.  That last week of 1 mg doses contained a dropper-full of methadone, like a dropper-ful of water. That's how powerful it is.

 

I took my last 1 mg dose of methadone on August 17, 2006.  It wasn't easy either. And it cost me a LOT of money, to the tune of $30,000 over 4 years.  BUT, I had to think about how much money it would have cost me if I DID NOT GET OFF OF OPIATES. Maybe my life.

 

I do back exercises to strengthen the muscles down each side of the spine, and this helps support my spine more and makes the pain tolerable. I've learned to be very, very careful in my movements, as one little misstep and I'm flat on my back for at least 4 days with excruciating pain, and constant. But that rarely happens.  Now I only take naproxen for pain and it works. I would have laughed at that in the past.

 

But the opiates change your brain, it's a chemical thing, it's proven. And also it's hereditary, opiate addiction. I learned that my grandfather had been an opiate addict which I never knew. Hmmm.

 

So I felt Angel's pain and I'm so glad she got the help.  I wish her the best.  As involved as she is as a parent with the school, I know she is just as involved in her recovery programs. 

 

I never connected with NA or AA. Could be because I worked for psychiatrists and helped them conduct group therapy and therefore was more on the clinician side rather than the patient side and felt uncomfortable in any group setting. I did attend Al-Anon when an ex-boyfriend was inpatient in rehab. It really helped me at the time.  The methadone clinic asked me to volunteer at the clinic, to talk to others since I was one of their 'success' stories. I apologized but told them I couldn't since I live alone and on my single income and am paid by production. Plus, it was quite a distance to drive.

 

Sorry this post is so long, but I type for a living and I just type fast! I won't apologize for that, it's MORE MONEY! LOL.

 

Thanks for the update on Angel. And people need to get educated on addiction so that they can help those in their family with addictions. People don't WANT to be addicts.  I never met one who CHOSE that. Sure they might have made a mistake at the start, or like me prescribed legally by a physician, but nobody wants to be an addict.  Most hate themselves and get in so deep they can't find their own way out.  Don't judge them, help them.  And never, ever enable them.  Just my opinion.

 
September 4, 2008, 4:26 pm CDT

Not all are the same...

Quote From: brokend

I was married to a man addicted to pain pills and we lost our business and home(bankrupt and bank foreclosures and personal bankruptcies).  Addicts become pathelogical liars and cannot change.  Trust me I lost everything even though he went to an addiction outpatient program, and then a methadone clinic.  I was the ever forgiving completely devoted spouse you stood by him and tried to understand and work with the addiction program, tried herbal remedies to also help, spent endless nites through his withdrawals to no avail.....
Angel's husband should leave her-.  My husband also hawked his wedding ring (told me he lost it) and to this day still lies about being clean and thinks that I am stupid enough to believe him - I could not believe it when I watched Dr. Phil - It was like watching my ex husband reincarnated as a woman.
Message to Angel's husband - RUN AND RUN FAST AND DO NOT LOOK BACK !!!!!!  TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HER AND GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!!!
I am very sorry that your husband did not stick with his program to be clean.  However, it is incredibly unfair of you to say that everyone who becomes addicted to pain medication (or anything for that matter) is the same, they will continuously lie and never change.  That statement is not true and no one should box in the rest of the addicts in the world because your husband didn't try hard enough to become clean.  I have been clean for over 5 years now, have a fabulous job, great friends, pay my bills, take my children to school, participate in after school activities and have a wonderful life.  People can change! 
 
September 4, 2008, 4:37 pm CDT

09/04 Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: reggaeinky

I watched Angel on Dr. Phil today with tears in my eyes, I felt her pain. I've been opiate-free since August 17, 2006. That was the day I took my last 1 mg dose of methadone. I attended a methadone clinic for 4 years, the last 3 spent tapering down off of the methadone. So many people are uneducated when it comes to addiction, some blurt out things such as "you're trading one addiction for another" or other one-liners that they might have even heard someone else say. It's much easier to wean off of methadone, which is a synthetic opiate, as opposed to hydrocodone pills.

 

I have had severe back pain for 32 years and could have milked that all of my life for pain medication. I chose not to, because I saw the road I was headed down. I cut it off at the pass, as when I fast-forwarded into wondering what my future might have been like, it was very bleak. And compared to most patients at the methadone clinic, I was on a low dose of opiates. Many couldn't believe I was even on methadone, said you can kick that yourself. I would think to myself, "Speak for yourself."

 

At the height of my addiction to opiates, I was taking 20 pills per day of 10/500 (10 mg hydrocodone - the opiate/500 mg of acetaminophen). What hurts the liver is the acetominophen.  Usually, doctors write scripts for 5/500 mg or 10/1,000 mg, trying to keep the patient from becoming dependent on the opiate, treating with the lowest amount of opiate possible and very short-term.

 

I was prescribed 3 pills per day, 10/500 mg hydrocodone/acetaminophen, #90 per month. It was for  herniated disk pain, three herniated disks. The excruciating pain that I eventually grew to have wasn't touched by any other pain med except opiates. 

 

I've worked for two psychiatrists in the past and am now a medical transcriptionist at home, typing radiation oncology patient notes. I'm familiar with drugs and my family doctor knew this.  He has been my doc for 34 years (I'm 51 years old, saw him first at age 18), he told me before prescribing it for me that I should know this is intended for short-term use, it's a very powerful narcotic and that he couldn't keep treating my symptoms, that I needed to take care of the problem, surgery on the three herniated disks.

 

Long story short, I couldn't have the surgery done because I couldn't take time off work.  I don't get paid unless I work, as I am paid based on my production, paid per line that I type.  After two years, which was way past what my doc said he would prescribe it, he said I just can't continue this anymore.

 

By then, I saw where I was headed, told him I was addicted and he said he knew that, because it has been two years.  He knew I had a higher tolerance since I had been taking it so long. He doesn't know I used to buy it from my friends' friends, some friends gave them to me, knew I had a problem but knew I had to take care of it. 

 

My doctor sent me to a pain clinic. That doc cut my pills back to #30 and gave me an injection in my spine which worked for about 3 days with keeping the pain at bay. I knew I was in trouble.  I'm a big weenie and can't stand that uncomfortable feeling you get when you need more opiates in your system JUST TO GET THROUGH THE DAY, NOT EVEN TO GET A HIGH.  When I starting waking up and the first thing on my mind was "where am I gonna' find 20 pills today" - that's when I knew I needed help big time.

 

I phoned a friend I knew had gone to the same methadone clinic years prior and I called the clinic. They said I had to be in withdrawal when I came for my appt in order to be accepted, and this was a Friday afternoon. I made an appt with the doctor at the methadone clinic for an intake physical exam, blood work, and to start on methadone for Monday morning.  They told me to stop taking my pills at 3pm Sunday afternoon.

 

That Sunday was the longest night of my life. No sleep, that wasn't gonna' happen.....out of the question, uncomfortable to say the least, could not sit still... pacing, muscles aching, I stood in a cool shower most of the night..... alone.  I live alone.  I was 45 years old at the time, this was 2001, the year my Mom died. 

 

I had to be at the clinic at 6AM Monday morning, driving across a bridge enroute and I hate bridges! I got so used to that bridge, I could drive across it in my sleep after so many trips. You have to attend the methadone clinic and receive your daily dose of methadone each day in front of the nurse, $12 per dose, no matter what the dose is, 1 mg cost $12 and 150 mg cost $12.  It was red liquid.  You have to go every day, 6 days a week for ONE YEAR until you get clean urine tests and don't miss days, then you earn the privilege to take home two doses and come back every two days.  You then keep earning more take-home doses as you go along.

 

I never missed a day.  Every morning, 6 days a week (they gave you one take-home dose for Sundays and holidays. I was able to take home two-weeks of methadone after a year.  I went up to 84 mg, starting at 5 mg and going up 5 per week until I felt "comfortable." I felt comfortable at 84 mg. After six months on 84 mg, I started weaning down, per the doctor's instructions 1 mg per week. Doesn't sound like a lot.  I said, "One mg?  You mean 10 mg?" He said, "No, one mg per week."  I then found out why. 

 

This is powerful, methadone. Some people take it for chronic pain all of their life and it works great. Some are prescribed methadone by their physicians, but not many. There is such a stigma on addiction, especially methadone, it makes me so mad.  I saw so many peoples' lives turned around at that clinic. Girls who I first saw in their pajamas, dirty, hair messed up, they started looking better each week. They started wearing clean clothes, they started fixing their hair and wearing make-up, then they started talking about job interviews, then jobs! I saw lives saved by methadone, families saved, that's what I saw!

 

Opiate addiction is so, so scary. The person on opiates is not the true person. I never doctor-shopped, but I would have. I never bought off of the street, but I would have. Eventually, I would have done anything to get them, I saw that down that bleak road.  I judge NOBODY.  I've been there.  I know how horrible it feels to need to take pills just to get through the day. I needed them so I could keep my apartment clean, do the housework, do my typing all day, run errands.

 

But I could have said I needed them forever. I see so many people who need help, but they just don't hit the bottom or else they rationalize their use, which I what I was doing.  "BUT MY BACK PAIN! MY BACK PAIN!"

 

As I weaned off methadone, the doctor told me to come down to 60 mg and stop for a month, start down 1 mg per week again and stop at 40 mg, this to allow your body to adjust. I got down to 10 mg per day and hit a brick wall. I started having mild withdrawal symptoms, not feeling comfortable in my own skin, just not comfortable. Not sure how to describe it. Wasn't able to focus on my typing/my work. My paycheck dropped really low because I wasn't producing enough work. However, I got through it and stopped at 10 mg for a few months.  I then started the wean down to 0 mg per day, 1 mg per week.  That last week of 1 mg doses contained a dropper-full of methadone, like a dropper-ful of water. That's how powerful it is.

 

I took my last 1 mg dose of methadone on August 17, 2006.  It wasn't easy either. And it cost me a LOT of money, to the tune of $30,000 over 4 years.  BUT, I had to think about how much money it would have cost me if I DID NOT GET OFF OF OPIATES. Maybe my life.

 

I do back exercises to strengthen the muscles down each side of the spine, and this helps support my spine more and makes the pain tolerable. I've learned to be very, very careful in my movements, as one little misstep and I'm flat on my back for at least 4 days with excruciating pain, and constant. But that rarely happens.  Now I only take naproxen for pain and it works. I would have laughed at that in the past.

 

But the opiates change your brain, it's a chemical thing, it's proven. And also it's hereditary, opiate addiction. I learned that my grandfather had been an opiate addict which I never knew. Hmmm.

 

So I felt Angel's pain and I'm so glad she got the help.  I wish her the best.  As involved as she is as a parent with the school, I know she is just as involved in her recovery programs. 

 

I never connected with NA or AA. Could be because I worked for psychiatrists and helped them conduct group therapy and therefore was more on the clinician side rather than the patient side and felt uncomfortable in any group setting. I did attend Al-Anon when an ex-boyfriend was inpatient in rehab. It really helped me at the time.  The methadone clinic asked me to volunteer at the clinic, to talk to others since I was one of their 'success' stories. I apologized but told them I couldn't since I live alone and on my single income and am paid by production. Plus, it was quite a distance to drive.

 

Sorry this post is so long, but I type for a living and I just type fast! I won't apologize for that, it's MORE MONEY! LOL.

 

Thanks for the update on Angel. And people need to get educated on addiction so that they can help those in their family with addictions. People don't WANT to be addicts.  I never met one who CHOSE that. Sure they might have made a mistake at the start, or like me prescribed legally by a physician, but nobody wants to be an addict.  Most hate themselves and get in so deep they can't find their own way out.  Don't judge them, help them.  And never, ever enable them.  Just my opinion.

Our stories are so identical we could be one in the same person!  I was on methadone for three years after becoming addicted to oxycontin.  I was becoming more and more frustrated with the inadequate staff at the clinic I attended and the cost of the methadone that I started my research on how to 'get out'.  I was even on a two week "take out" schedule; I would take home two weeks worth of medication, go back to the clinic one day every two weeks to get another two weeks to take home. I was spending a fortune and of course insurance does not cover the $11 a day cost.  I discovered that my insurance covers suboxone!  I also discovered that suboxone is much easier to taper down and eventually stop taking than methadone.  (I too did come off methadone and it was hell...one year after I was still having withdrawal issues so I went back on the medication as I simply could not function)

I am now on suboxone and working with my new physician on a taper down program.  In the past few weeks it literally feels as if I have just awaken from a foggy dream!  I am so very glad to hear that you are having success in your sobriety and I am also happy to see others that are "taking up" for Angela. (not the behavior but the person!)

 

Be strong and be well!

 
September 4, 2008, 4:43 pm CDT

If you are anywhere near

Quote From: tikeconille

Things have been really stressed lately.  My husband (of 10 years) and I are constantly fighting.   I was hoping he would grow out of his immaturity and I have been killing myself doing things to help him get over this peter pan syndrome.   I take pills for severe migraines.  I usually take them as needed but I'm anticipating a migraine just about everyday because of his behavior.   So, 2 pills becomes 3 pills of one prescription and then I take a pill from the other prescription just for good measure.  Here's an example of what I'm dealing with...

 

The last fight we had he said to me "no wonder why my friends don't like you".  A 37 year old man said that!   I told him that I don't care what his friends think but it makes me sad that he can talk about me like a peice of trash when I haven't done anything wrong.   He says I don't let him do anything anymore.   I asked him to give me an example.  He said that a friend asked him if he wanted to go to a concert and he said no, because I wouldn't let him.  It was mainly because he didn't want to hurt his friends feelings because he didn't want to go.  But he still blamed it on me.  He didn't even ask me.   The concert he did ask me to go to I said sure, as long as I don't have to go(I'm not a big fan of that particular band).  I don't say no to normal adult requests but when I can forsee a disaster coming, 10 years you get a hunch, I say why do you want to do that???  He use to go dirt bike riding and would always come home and lie on the couch for 2 days in pain.  He did this when our first born child was 3 weeks old and I was recovering from a c-section.  Not only was I extremely sore and tired from 3 days of taking care of a newborn by myself , now I had to take care of him.   He still holds that against me that I wouldn't let him go anymore.  I told him that he's not 19 anymore and he can't handle it.  The latest incident happened about a month ago.  I was 100 miles away from home with the kids (now 10 and 6) on vacation and he asked to go out to a party that a long lost friend was having.  The problem with this is that my husband doesn't know how to come home from parties.   The worst occassion was when he didn't come home for Christmas and the least worst occassion I didn't know where he was for about 10 hours.   So I obviously said no.  If I was home that would be one thing but I was 100 miles away.  If something happened (which it usually does) I can't be there in 10 minutes.  Why do I have to be there in 10 minutes?  Cause he'll be stuck someplace without a ride, no one can give him a ride home, everyone is too drunk to drive, blah, blah, blah. 

 

So after 10 years of this I finally decided that I'm functional on my migraine medication.  I don't necessarily have a migraine but that doesn't stop me from popping a few pills because it takes the stress away and stress for me triggers a migraine.  We agreed on a few things that we were going to change about ourselves and I have been breaking my neck changing the things he asked me too while he is still sighing and rolling his eyes and stomping his feet.  He says I treat him like a 17 year old.  I say, aren't you?

 

I don't want to be a pill addict, I really don't , but at this point I can't live without them.

South Carolina

I would be willing to try and help you through some of the problems you are having!  Husband needs to grow up or get out.  Don't let someone else's obnnoxious behavior ruin your life, create more stress and chaos to the point you are looking for solace in drugs.  They will only make matters worse!

 
September 5, 2008, 5:32 am CDT

so, so happy for you

Quote From: lzycntrygurl29

Angel i know how you feel. i was the same way. i lied about everything to my husband and family. i did it for 6 years. i nearly died. i wasnt a gambler but i did pawn my ring and lost it more than once. we lost our car.  our lights, water, and gas was shut off. we almost lost it all. i finally hit rock bottum when i was arrested for forgeing a prescription. i didnt go to jail instead i went to drug court and rehab. that alone wasnt good enough for me to stop. until i over dosed, they put me on methadone for the with drawls. that posed another problem, all i did was sleep. my husband took my car keys from me because i couldnt stay awake. i would pass out while eating, driving, smoking, and anything i did. i have set our couch on fire, our bed on fire and my clothes while i was wearing them. i would call family members on the phone and fall asleep while talking. my point here is that, i dont want you to jump out of the frying pan right into the fire. i finally got better with the help of jesus christ and my church family.  i am no longer on drugs. i am doing so well. please dont lose hope it will be hard but i have faith in you. i know you can do it. you are the only one who can change yourself, but you cant do it by yourself. no body could help me. i never believed in god, but i know now that jesus was all i ever needed. you might not like religion or believe in god but until you do, youll never change. give it to god and dont beat yourself up over it. if you ever need support just message me on here i can be there for u.      have hope and never give up.

wow,  you sound extremely courageous and I give you alot of credit. 

 I also believe that through god all things are possible,  but i think it's gonna take

more then that to get me better.   I wish I had your courage but believe me, I am trying.

Everyday i get a little closer to finding an answer with god pushing me and helping me to

stand ...one day i will get there

 

 
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