Topic : 09/04 Ask Dr. Phil

And Ask Doctor Phil/Robin. Doctor Phil/Robin What is a selfish anyway? My sister is selfish and will not-----

send me a pictures of my Birthday party in Drake, Colorado on Saturday July 19th. 2008.  My real birthday--

was on Friday July 18th, 2008 because I turn 50th this year. See you on Thursday September 94th, 2008.--

Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this mother does not realize the pain she is causing because she is in pain herself i feel likethe pain  medicine  that she is  addicted to is because she wants to be numb to the pain that she is feeling i understand i did not have a good childhood at all so i ended up turning to drugs it took me years to realize that being high does fix the problem instead you have another on top of all the other problem i thank god everyday for delivering me from my addictions without going to rehab to the mother you are runing your children you are sending them down adestructive path because children learn what they live with take dr. phils help if you dont do it for yourself then do it for your chidren to the daughter i had the same kind of childhood my mother was an alcholic she drank from sun up to sun down not  only did i have to take of my brother i also had to watch her she refused to get help she died when i was 30 years old  i am telling you this to tell you are not alone my advice to you is get some counseling before you go  down the wrong path because you are in a lot of pain too i started being a parent to my parent at the age of 6 years old it did not stop until she died and i was 30 years old i am going to pray for your mother for you and for your siblings

  My son got married in October last year 07 and they had a baby in march o8 she is 19 and he is 22. This girl is driving me crazy. I have really bent over backwards to the extreme to get along with this girl but it isn't working. She is adamant that all holidays should be spent with her relatives not his and that I always make a fuss. My husbands birthday was this month and he was able to call his dad but they took her dad out to dinner. I understand that they live there with her family but before he married her she had a car, an apartment and 2 part time jobs now she has nothing. They live with her parents so the babysitter is there. If I want to see the baby I have to pretty much make an appointment. I have been hollered at in public by this girl because I agreed to talk to her about this problem with her parents there and her parents told her that she needed to bring her voice down 4 notches that people were listening to her. I thought my son and I were close but I feel that he is either being brain washed or I was mislead by our relationship. They are holy rollers and speak in tongues. I am a Baptist and we try not to judge people on their religion but now they are deciding on the Godparents her parents that is and they decide where she is to be christened and by whom, Now she is calling the preacher of this congregation grandpa . You see she is also mad a my husband. I have put this relationship in the Lords hands but I need to know what else I can do. Sometimes I wish  they would get divorced and he would go his own way but he isn't allowed to talk to us

or just doesn't . Her theory is no matter your age except my 92 yr old grandmother if you want to see this baby you gotta come to there house. At first I thought it was money but then I learned that they go to concerts all over the state and they can go to the mountains and pay 18 a person for food but then when the baby was born I offered to buy the baby a  new baby bed and she said that she was alright with that t and then took one that someone gave her instead. If I buy her something she gives it away to someone else for a baby shower gift.

What should I do??????????????????

You can't control what other people do. If I were you, I'd "make an appointment " and go see that baby every chance I got and let all of the other stuff go. You can only control what you do.

Before you start to judge Angel, I think there is something you all must know.  This episode of Dr. Phil was actually taped over a year ago.  Angel did go to rehab shortly after the taping of this show.  It has been a year since Angel admitted herself to rehab, started working a program of recovery and is one of the strongest individuals I know in the program and with her faith in God.  Angel has worked through the challenges with her husband and their relationship has grown and become stronger.  She is a wonderful mother to her children and puts their needs and wants above her own.  Angel works a very strong NA program and is now sponsoring others to help them in their recovery process.  Angel has turned her life around, faces her challenges on a day to day basis with the support of her family, friends and most importantly God.  As you watch the show tomorrow and find yourself judging Angel, feeling sorry for her family, keep in mind that Agel has turned her life around and you can too.,

I love to see topics such as these raised especially on Dr Phil. Addiction is a disease based in denial,usually it is the person who has the illness that is the very last to acknowledge they have it.

If the addicted person denies they have a problem, what hope has the family got to fix them.

All the family has in their control, is to fix themselves, keep the focus on themselves and find healing.

I have learned from my own experience in battling, surviving and recovering from the family disease of alcoholism. That the person who has the addiction generally don't seek help unless they are truly desperate.

This illness runs so much deeper than the substance, or circumstance. This is a disease that is centered in attitudes. An absolute overhaul of changed attitudes is required to truly recover from addiction.

My family has emotional sobriety today. We fought and survived for 12 years with active addiction, dry drunkenness (which is worse than active drinking), and the effects that it had on my six children and me.

It has taken a lot of hard work and tears of healing for us to find peace.

But our goal in all of this has been to break the chain so our children don't suffer from addiction or at least they know how their parents recovered from this disease that tears families apart!!!

Understanding and love is the only way out of this nightmare, when all you want to do is get angry and isolate from the person that is suffering from something they generally don't understand themselves.

My dream is that families find a way to rise above addiction and recover..

A Belated Happy Birthday to you, Russell Vlaanderen! To your sister, "Send Russell Vlaanderen pictures of his Birthday in Drake, Colorado on Saturday July 19th 2008!"