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Topic : 09/05 Party Mom

Number of Replies: 117
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, August 29, 2008, 12:06:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Two sisters say their mother always appeared to others as the perfect mom, but behind closed doors was no mother at all. Angela and Amanda harbor angry feelings toward their mom, Ruthie, and have not spoken to her in months. The sisters use words like "phony," "incompetent" and "sociopath" to describe her, have written letters in an effort to give her a wake-up call and now look to Dr. Phil for help getting through to her. When their dad remarried, they say she showed up at the wedding and had to be chased off the premises. They’re especially concerned for their three teenaged siblings still living in the home, and they believe that their mother will do anything to win the teens' love, including throwing drinking parties -- one of which landed on YouTube. You won't believe what they say their mother will do to win the teen's love. After months of estrangement, Ruthie faces her daughters and denies all of their allegations. Hear firsthand accounts of what Ariel, Ruthie's 16 year old daughter, says is really going on under Ruthie's roof. Was the last party really a set-up for the police? And Ariel makes a tearful plea. Will her mother be moved by it? Heavy-hitting lawyer Gloria Allred gives sound legal advice that no parent of a teenager should miss! Join the discussion.

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September 12, 2008, 6:45 am CDT

outraged

This so called mom outrages me ! She reminds me so much of my abusive mother. I never had a good relationship with mine. When I was younger, in order for her to WIN my respect, if thats what you want to call it, she to would hold drinking parties for me and my friends. Yet, no matter how much I needed her to BE A MOM and not a friend, she could not do it. She was abusive, angry, an alcholic, but NOT A MOM. I lived with my father who disciplined when we did wrong, and loved me when I did good. I had a better relationship with him then my mother. When she died in 1999 from her booze, I did not cry but yet felt relief. When my father died in 2005 it threw  me into major anxiety and literally made my health detieriate. This mother is nothing but an abusive woman for allowing herself to try and be a friend instead of being a mother which is solely what she needs to be. Her children will suffer in the long run if she does not start being the PARENT that she needs to be. Her children will ill feel about her when they are older, such as her older daughters do,  that I felt for mine. She needs help and she needs it now !!
 
September 12, 2008, 1:33 pm CDT

Party MOM!!!

I do believe that this mom had a poor judgment call! I don't believe that she ment for this to turnout this way!  I do believe in her own mind thought it would be safer if she would have the kids come to her place. 

 

But I for one wouldn't have done it this way!  Because there are HUGE concequences to pay if it would go badley wrong!  I am one not willing to deal with this kind of mess!  That is why I wouldn't let this happen! 

 

I do believe that she is getting a bumb wrap from her children, especially her older daughters!  They were wrong to call their mother mental!  They show no respect to her for this!  She may be a mother with poor judgement.  But this isn't a reason to disrespect their mother!  When called on who dignosed their mother this way!  She said "No one, that is my own experience."  She is no Dr. and saying things like this is just plain hurtful!  She did not show any respect to her mother at all! That is wrong, plain wrong!!!

 

For the father, well it took two to make these children and it takes two to raise them.  I think that if the father wanted to be a father!  Come and help with the parenting!  I am a mother with children & my husband is a father to them too!  Just because they are divorced, doesn't mean that he isn't the father and he can shun the parenting or just parent when he feels like doing so when he want's to!  Step up to the plate and parent daily, it is a daily job!  Own up to the fathering!  So step up to the plate and do your job!!!!!  You may have a new wife and life now!  But you have five children that you made with this lst wife, own up to your responsibilities with them!  YOU OWN THIS TO ALL FIVE CHILDREN AND AT LEAST RESPECT YOU EX-WIFE FOR THIS!!!!!!  She can't do this alone!!!!  You cared enought for her when you made these kids with her, at least respect her for giving birth to five wonderful children for YOU!!!!  She deserves this from you!!!! 

 

Let's face it, you probably didn't come on the show because you knew that you would get these same kind questions from Dr. Phil. & you didn't want to hear what your doing wrong! You just want all the GLORY!!!!

 

kah

 
September 12, 2008, 1:42 pm CDT

party mom

Quote From: maggeemay

This is what I was saying yesterday,    Dr Phil is losing his passion to help people and instead

he is becoming " Judgemental, condecending, rude, raw and hurtful.  Just the

 other day he mocked a girl when she spoke.  I made this show a part of every day life,

now i am very conflicted about what is going on with Doc.  Could someone please respond

even friends of mine have said the same thing,  they have stopped watching all together.

I love the Doc,  but i am getting a little discouraged.

I to do agree with the judgemental thing! I do agree that this family is broken in a few difference places and if they get help, they will be ok!  I do feel that the mother isn't the only to blame for this happening!  I feel that the father should have been on the show too!  He just didn't want to be faced with many of the same questions!  The mother has made poor judgement calls & she has admitted to it too!  I do feel that the father needs to step up to the plate and do his part called FATHERING!!!!!  He cared for this woman enough to make all 5 of these kids.  Then care enough to help them growup to respectful citizens!!!!  It is a Father/Mother thing!!!!!!  Dr. Phil should have stressed this to the audence today!!!!!
 
September 13, 2008, 10:38 am CDT

09/05 Party Mom

Quote From: sparrow1989

OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!11 you kicked you 19! YEAR OLD SON out of the house for underage drinking!! There must be something seriously wrong with you if anyone deserves to be on Dr.Phil its you!!
you think your  stopping him from drinking YOU ARE PUSHING HIM TO LIVING ON THE STREETS just because he was DRINKING!!! your acting like he murdered someone. Here in Canada are drinking limit is 19 which is what it shoud be everywhere else so people like you dont force your kids to feel terrible for .something as STUPID as this!! they should calll child services on you for what you did. What do you think  teenagers do ??  for godsake he isnt even a teenager his  an adult!!1 maybe you should start acting more responsible
It sounds like she kicked him out because he couldn't follow the rules.  Even though you may think underage drinking and partying is okay, she doesn't.  I totally agree w/telling a 19 year old to move out if he can't follow the rules.  If you're an adult and don't want to follow your parents' rules, you need to get a place of your own.  That way, you can do as you please.
 
September 16, 2008, 5:54 am CDT

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

This post is for Amanda and Angela solely.  Previously, I wrote the Dr. Phil Show to ask that he address a rarely diagnosed disorder, the one mentioned in the title.  As I listened to your stories, I knew immediately that you had endured years of living with this personality disorder, just as I had.  If you read every detail of the posted website below, you will learn quickly that you have survived this personality and that your brothers and sister are still in grave danger and I'm not talking about just the parties she holds, it goes much deeper.

 

My father was also accused of having an affair when he divorced my mother.  For the next 30 years (yes it never ends), she tried to convince myself and siblings that he had this affair and that all her problems were due to him and his actions.  Eventually, all 4 of us were living with my father, away from her and her very destructive personality. 

 

Sorry Dr. Phil, but there is little known about this disorder and while you focused entirely on her "party mom" behavior, this didn't begin to address why Amanda and Angela were there seeking your help.  Asking Ruthie to be aware of her child rearing obligations isn't within her power, not even with "counseling".  She is and always will be "right" about everything.  Narcissists do not accept blame for anything, they cast blame as often as they take a breath.

 

Trust me when I say, that by focusing on the Party Mom aspect of the program, this woman now thinks she is off the hook, so to speak.  Her problems run much deeper, but she will never know this, nor accept that she has any type of disorder.  Amanda and Angela, please read the following information.  No, it is not "clinical" by nature, but it is from another individual who endured and survived this very destructive disorder. (which is not widely known due to the fact that narcisissits do not seek medical attention, because they are perfect).  Once I read it myself, a profound peace was reached by my siblings and myself because we finally knew what we had been dealing with for years.

 

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/index.html

 

My last comment will be this to you both.  BEG, PLEAD, and ENCOURAGE your father to do whatever it takes to get your brothers and sister out of Ruthie's house.  They are truly not safe.  My heart goes out to you both in knowing personally what you've endured.  You have both taken the first step in mending the damage she's done to you through the years, by cuting ties with her.  Feel free to email me if you want to discuss this disorder or my experience with this personality.

 

Sincerely,

 

bloobird@mchsi.com

 

 

 
September 23, 2008, 10:25 am CDT

09/05 Party Mom

Quote From: peachykeen123

It sounds like she kicked him out because he couldn't follow the rules.  Even though you may think underage drinking and partying is okay, she doesn't.  I totally agree w/telling a 19 year old to move out if he can't follow the rules.  If you're an adult and don't want to follow your parents' rules, you need to get a place of your own.  That way, you can do as you please.

I agree. Anyone past 18 who doesn't want to follow their parents' rules should move out and live on their own.

 
October 2, 2008, 8:00 pm CDT

i heart ruthie.

seriously, she is so nice. i have only met her a few times, but she is one of the sweetest moms i have ever met. i go to school with her youngest son. the rootbeer kegger  was one of the best ideas ever in my opinion. So dont say bad things about Ruthie because she is a good person. =]
 
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