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Topic : 09/05 Party Mom

Number of Replies: 117
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, August 29, 2008, 12:06:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Two sisters say their mother always appeared to others as the perfect mom, but behind closed doors was no mother at all. Angela and Amanda harbor angry feelings toward their mom, Ruthie, and have not spoken to her in months. The sisters use words like "phony," "incompetent" and "sociopath" to describe her, have written letters in an effort to give her a wake-up call and now look to Dr. Phil for help getting through to her. When their dad remarried, they say she showed up at the wedding and had to be chased off the premises. They’re especially concerned for their three teenaged siblings still living in the home, and they believe that their mother will do anything to win the teens' love, including throwing drinking parties -- one of which landed on YouTube. You won't believe what they say their mother will do to win the teen's love. After months of estrangement, Ruthie faces her daughters and denies all of their allegations. Hear firsthand accounts of what Ariel, Ruthie's 16 year old daughter, says is really going on under Ruthie's roof. Was the last party really a set-up for the police? And Ariel makes a tearful plea. Will her mother be moved by it? Heavy-hitting lawyer Gloria Allred gives sound legal advice that no parent of a teenager should miss! Join the discussion.

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September 5, 2008, 2:05 pm CDT

What are you thinking?!

I can't believe people are supporting this mother(?) and even chastising Dr. Phil as being too hard on her! Did you watch the same show I did? This woman is cold and clueless. My only real question is why her daughters would want to have a relationship with someone this toxic. Her younger daughter is sitting in the audience crying and the mother has no reaction at all. Her older son is getting away with murder and Mom just shrugs it off. Some day when her son is one of those countless kids found wrapped around a tree will she still try to blame it all on her ex's "affair". Give me a break!

 

I don't give a rats behind what kind of hurt she claims to have endured (apparently she is like most bullies - she can dish it out but she can't take it). She is a mother and should grow up and at like one.

 
September 5, 2008, 2:05 pm CDT

Really?

Quote From: bonjour520

I am disappointed with the spin of this episode. I felt terrible for the mother. Clearly her daughters are upset with her, but I saw a mother who is trying to be creative in helping her son find healthy ways to have fun. Too many parents are full of No's and not enough "try these". Perhaps there were other elements at play, but I think that the issue of whether or not she's acting criminally by having 18 year olds feel safe enough to admit that they shouldn't be driving after coming over after a party somewhere else is ridiculous. It seems to me that this woman is making an effort to be involved in her son's life and has created a place of honesty with her son that is much healthier than having him lie about binge drinking elsewhere or having her son too afraid to tell her that he shouldn't be drinking.

Of course she should be more strict about not allowing alcohol in her house, clearly she is making mistakes, but I think Dr Phil was much too heavy handed with her.

You feel terrible for the mother? How terrible would you feel if one of these dingbat teenagers she's allowing and encouraging to drink in her home, and then get behind the wheel of their car, killed some innocent family? How terrible would you feel if the family killed belonged to YOU? I'd be willing to bet you wouldn't be so liberal then, huh!  

 

Have you seriously considered the legal and moral issues of her ridiculous and immature behavior?

"Creative"? "Healthy"? Please! She just wanted to be thought of as "the cool mom", and she never considered the consequences.

 

It's up to a parent to say NO, NO and NO again when a kid wants to do something stupid...you are NOT their friend, and if you aren't what they consider "cool" at that time, oh well!

 

I always told my kids: "I'm not out to win a popularity contest! I'm out to raise good, responsible adults who contribute to society, not become a drain on it. Deal with it!" They had rules, and there was no backing down on my part. 

 

They may have been angry with me then, but when they grew up, they thanked me over and over for being a strong, caring and loving parent. They are all happy, secure and successfully married with children of their own who...guess what...have rules, too!

 

If you want to "feel terrible" for someone, feel terrible for this woman's kids....ALL of them!! They are all crying out for some scructure and discipline...did you not hear what they had to say?

 
September 5, 2008, 2:10 pm CDT

roger king

Quote From: tcarnicom

all the shows are dedicated to him..he is a production co. executive with a production company and was apparently an integral part in both the Oprah and Dr. Phil show..nothing unique to this particular show

 

 
September 5, 2008, 2:14 pm CDT

glad he did what he did

Quote From: maggeemay

 

No offence to the good Doctor,  but i am feeling the same way

Dr PHil used to be the only person that could put things in order for me

now he just plain scares me.   I am dealing with a very serious problem,

but i would never allow myself on that show these days,  these people are

being burned at the cross.....I really want the old doc back,   Dr Phil...i love you

but i need the old you back,  I am losing hope

this is a serious problem and i am personally very glad he delivered his message the way he did.  It is mind boggling the number of parents who allow their high schoolers to drink, "celebrate special occasions", etc..  Teens have no brains and make horrible decisions most often..so let's throw some alcohol into the mix to make their judgment worse than it already is!  And do not fool yourself into thinking if they do it at home, they won't do it elsewhere....right.
 
September 5, 2008, 2:19 pm CDT

09/05 Party Mom

Quote From: shetypes

I do agree the Mom lets her mouth say Dad too often BUT even you Dr. Phil has repeatedly stated the same sex parent has a bigger impact.  Did you hear it said they drink Alcohol with thier Dad?

Did you hear that Dad would not help when the kid was drinking?

Did you hear at all half the blame is the Dad?

Absolutely get with this Mother, and definately include the Father.

I am sick and tired of not sharing this blame unless that Father ticks someone off.

I think the rootbeer party was harmless, do not think the police was defamed, but they sure was camped

there while not stopping a drunk driver somewhere else?

A single parent without a respectful agreement with the absent parent is a very hard road to travel.

I do not see here that thsi father is held accountable.

I bet this Mother has serious issues, she needs help, so does that father.

I feel bad for all the children, especially the boys now living in an aftermath of TWO adults, divorced from each other and apparently from shared responsibilty to thier children.

The teenage girl is living in fear of her brothers constant visitors that Mom is not hearing about with an honest ear.  The father is doing what?  Nothing?

Our police should watch a house with a bunch of kids drinking or not, one cop.  That cop can call for help.

Those same cops should be watching the fathers house as much, drinking obviously more there in in a role model manner that is so much more dangerous, same sex role model?

The police where watching her house because of complaints made by other parents, that she is allowing teen drinking. If the police did nothing and a child drove home drunk killed themselfs or someone else, I could hear the outrage and rightly so. 

 

The 16 year old told on dear old mom and said some stay the night and some drive home drunk, Who is this mother to give open permission for another child to drink? Then give that same permission for that child to drink and drive.

 

The root beer party was not harmless, it was disrespectful childish game she was playing with a bunch of kids.

 

The Father was not sitting on the stage the mother was, the mother has custody, the mother is allowing her children to drink with other peoples children in her house, Pointing the finger back at the dad doesn't releave her of her responsibilitys one bit. it just questions his responsibility of his children, but he was not sitting there to be asked.

 
September 5, 2008, 2:20 pm CDT

thank you

Quote From: cndrlla

You feel terrible for the mother? How terrible would you feel if one of these dingbat teenagers she's allowing and encouraging to drink in her home, and then get behind the wheel of their car, killed some innocent family? How terrible would you feel if the family killed belonged to YOU? I'd be willing to bet you wouldn't be so liberal then, huh!  

 

Have you seriously considered the legal and moral issues of her ridiculous and immature behavior?

"Creative"? "Healthy"? Please! She just wanted to be thought of as "the cool mom", and she never considered the consequences.

 

It's up to a parent to say NO, NO and NO again when a kid wants to do something stupid...you are NOT their friend, and if you aren't what they consider "cool" at that time, oh well!

 

I always told my kids: "I'm not out to win a popularity contest! I'm out to raise good, responsible adults who contribute to society, not become a drain on it. Deal with it!" They had rules, and there was no backing down on my part. 

 

They may have been angry with me then, but when they grew up, they thanked me over and over for being a strong, caring and loving parent. They are all happy, secure and successfully married with children of their own who...guess what...have rules, too!

 

If you want to "feel terrible" for someone, feel terrible for this woman's kids....ALL of them!! They are all crying out for some scructure and discipline...did you not hear what they had to say?

thank you, thank you, thank you..i am starting to feel like a dinosaur -- parenting is hard and it takes a lot of consistent, hard work -- it is much easier to say yes, and we do when its the right answer, but i'll be darned if I am going to cave on something like this.  there are so many parents in our area who don't think it's a big deal..it infuriates me
 
September 5, 2008, 2:42 pm CDT

09/05 Party Mom

My son was KILLED by a 21 year old who was partying.....He had been drinking and bar hoping and my son was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  29 and dead.  I would like to... 
 
September 5, 2008, 2:42 pm CDT

09/05 Party Mom

Quote From: maggeemay

This is what I was saying yesterday,    Dr Phil is losing his passion to help people and instead

he is becoming " Judgemental, condecending, rude, raw and hurtful.  Just the

 other day he mocked a girl when she spoke.  I made this show a part of every day life,

now i am very conflicted about what is going on with Doc.  Could someone please respond

even friends of mine have said the same thing,  they have stopped watching all together.

I love the Doc,  but i am getting a little discouraged.

OoOOH, Maybe he should of kiss this woman head, and patted her back, and said Please stop being stupid, you are putting  your children  and other people's  children life at chance by allowing them to drink and then drive in and from your home.

 

The police already asked her not to and informed her of other parents complants, yet she still does. If  I was a parent of one of the children she allowed to drink and drive,  The Doc's words would be like a nursery ryhme, compared to mine and the other parents I would get together to inform her not to let this to continue. She is truely luckly she has not been sued, because the saying goes like  this "if you can't hear you will truly feel it." $$$$ and maybe she wouldn't have a home to have partys in.

 

Parents like her are not doing it for safty reason's but sick need's of their own, and risking kids to do so.

Thats sad, and if the doc need to get rough with her to get it thought her thick head then Go for it Doc. because the warning from the Police didn't work I hope yours did, for we don't come up with a child, or a family dead for her sick need to be cool mom.

 
September 5, 2008, 2:49 pm CDT

Not joking at all

Quote From: cndrlla

Are you kidding me?? This is a joke, right?

 

There IS no other side!! Dr Phil DOES care....he cares about the kids who are encouraged to drink and drive, by this lunatic mother who just wants to "be cool"!  He cares about the families who may be killed by one of these drunk teenagers! He cares about the fact that this dumbass mother may wind up in jail because she has allowed and encouraged teenagers to drink and let them drive home. He cares about these daughters whose hearts are breaking because their mother is such a selfish, childish mess, when they want and need a mother so badly! 

 

Just where do you see him NOT caring??

Well I do remember saying that the mother is in the wrong without a doubt,

and there is no way that any mother should act this way ever.  I have my opionion

and I feel that dr phil used to be able to challenge both sides of these problems

and now i just don't see the same approach here.  I personally believe that the

good doctor is getting a little one sided and maybe not helping both sides of the

problem.  I just feel he is very different then he used to be.......sorry

 
September 5, 2008, 3:12 pm CDT

party mom

I can totally relate to the story on the show today about the mother who allows parties.  Last New Year's Day I kicked my 19 year old son out of the house because I found 12 large empty liquor bottles in a drawer in the basement and 2 liter bottles of empty pop containers that had been used to mix the liquor.  I had been woundering why so many kids were coming over during Christmas break, he had had 3 large parties in the space of 2 weeks.  These kids were coming and going on a regular basis during these parties and it made me uncomfortable.  My husband said not to worry because they were now adults, which I did not agree with.  On New Years I went looking for something else in the basement and found the liquor bottles.  I called my son home and told him that if he could not follow the rules of the home, no drinking, no girls spending the night in his bedroom, and not taking the car without permission, all rules that he had broken during the previous months, that he would have to leave.  He chose to leave and has not moved back home yet.  He now lives with the family of one of his friends whose mother does not have any of these rules and comes over to get mail and other things he needs.  I know I did the right thing because I was concerned that one of the kids would get in an accident with the car and hurt or kill themselves or someone else and I would get blamed even though I did not know that they were drinking in the basement until I found the bottles.  The only thing that bothers me is that I no longer trust my son and he still does not feel that he did anything wrong.  He feels that at 19 he is an adult and therefore can do what he wants, when he wants, and no longer needs to follow any rules but his own.

 

Dr. Phil even though this happened 9 months ago it still hurts and I am still bothered by it.  I want a relationship with my son, but I no longer trust him because there is no remorse or consideration for what could have happened.  I had him leave because I did not want to get arrested or sued, I have a 16 year old son still at home and want to be there for him.  What do I do to repair this trust and be able to trust my son again?

 
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