Hi everyone,
I have been sitting here for days absorbing the message boards. Its like I can't get enough of all the different stories out there. I am 33, 5'2" and weigh 287lbs. Its totally disgusting. I have no excuses to offer or reasons why. I have been fat all my life but it's almost like I am living in this body but not feeling anything if that makes sense to anyone. When I see my reflection in anything I cringe, but 30 minutes later I eat a muffin! I have issues that are directly related to my obesity. My legs hurt, my back hurts. I can't get something off the floor by bending at the knees, I have to bend over. The list goes on and on. I am on the cusp of high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol......At my last dr.s appointment he classified me as morbidly obese. I was so distraught to see that on paper. That was almost a year ago. I have started to change, all be it ever so slowly. I successfully gave up my beloved diet coke. I used to drink 2 liters a day of that! I replaced it with water or hot tea. I only stopped because I was feeling sick all the time. I was having problems with my vision and the nerves in my legs were going numb! Since I have stopped drinking soda, those symptoms are gone. But that was soooo hard for me. There were days I cried like a baby because I wanted soda. Its taken about a month but now I don't even think about having a soda. My problem with food is that I eat a huge proportion and I don't think enough about what I am eating. I hate my image, my insecurities, my helpless feelings but mostly I hate how I don't take control of myself. If anyone took the time to read this ramble, thank you and if anyone else feels any of these things please let me know I am not alone!!!
