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September 10, 2008, 6:39 pm PDT
After 20 years, I want my life back
When I married my second husband after finished modeling school, freshly divorced after a 25 year marriage and no "Plan B", my 40 y/o, 6'1" frame weighed 140 lbs. All I ever wore was a bikini. But then, remarrying again and moving far away from everyone and everything to in a tiny town (in the middle of nowhere) in south-central South Dakota, I liked to died... when three months into my marriage we were told my new husband needed a heart-transplant. Life, as I knew it, was over... The doctors, over and over, told me don't go away to school, as planned, as he'd never survive the winter. Isolated far, far away from everyone and everything, that was the beginning of the long downhill slide towards losing me....
Once he did die, ten years later -- in between I could never ask him to move, because it was, continually, "he's not going to make it" and doing so would kill him -- it was like what do I do now? In the interim my parents had died... I knew there was nothing there for me. I had no children... The siblings weren't close... I had lost me... Those were supposed to have been my best years. Things weren't supposed to be this way. I held things together for a year, wondering just how could I do it, and then suffered a nervous breakdown which put me, practically, in bed for another three years, because there was no one to look out for me or care for me. It was the hardest predicament.
Fast forward to Maine... I found a place I love -- where I would thrive and be safe, alone, should I never remarry -- and managed research and the move, hitting the road, alone for a month at a time. How do you find a new place to live, when you're 1,500 miles from everyone and everything? You go, alone, in an RV... But my first spring out, out-of-shape and eager to lose weight, I injured my knee which put me out of commission. There went the whole first year...
Long story short (or shorter), this year I lost 50 pounds. I'm down from a size 20 to 14, but still haven't worn a swimsuit (or bikini) in more than a decade... Remote, overweight, too tall and feeling unattractive (they don't make plus clothes in tall sizes), I haven't even been on a date, since my husband died, and now I'm 60....
I want my life back. I'm ready to take off these last 50 pounds and feel like I did when I finished modeling school -- or at least be the best me that I can be...... I'm so very, very grateful for what Dr. Phil is doing to help us all be healthier people. His new scope is humongous and exhiliarting. It's contagious. He will change this nation...
Thank you, Dr. Phil!
Most sincerely,
Linda
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