Message Boards

Topic : 08/05 Make It or Break It!

Number of Replies: 161
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, September 04, 2008, 12:08:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/09/08) Tammy and Paul were husband and wife for eight years before their marriage ended. After nine months apart, the couple secretly remarried, unbeknownst to their families who endured the drama of the first marriage, and would clearly not approve. Now, just weeks after saying "I do" for the second time, the two are having doubts of their own. Tammy says she caught Paul lying about seeing an ex-girlfriend and searching Internet dating sites. Meanwhile, Paul thinks Tammy's spying is wicked and deceitful. Find out how Tammy's sister, Cindy, reacts to the news of their marriage. Did Tammy and Paul rush too quickly into their second marriage? This time around, lies, allegations of infidelity and spying may break them up for good. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 9, 2008, 1:38 pm CDT

Break it, Tammy

I was married to such a man. We were together for 10 years. He told me how short of the mark I was every day we were together. Then I read the book "Nasty People". Google it, it is still in print. It described him to a tee. He finds fault with you all the time. They are invalidators.  They need to feel better about themselves so they attack others. There are strategies. Then I found out he was having an affair. We weren't having fun, we didn't do anything together and we had no mutural friends. He told me his mother had died. That was a lie, too. Then I asked myself, "What am I doing here?" I grieved for six weeks, pulled myself up by my bootstraps and made a new plan. I decided that I deserved better. I had been faithful and tried to do whatever made him happy. Then I realized he would never be happy without heavy psychotherapy. Three years later I met the most wonderful man! He is my soul mate. I thank God everyday we have together! I always knew that there would never be anyone else in my life a good as this man! He never wants to change who I am. We still hold hands. Like Robin and Dr. Phil, we never even think about divorce. We have been together since 1997. We got married on Megan Beach in St. Thomas 2-14-01. And I was over 50 when I met and married him.  Tammy, you are beautiful and kind and you deserve someone who loves you, not someone who betrays you. I can tell you he is lying about other women. In his mind, he justifies why he does these things and you can't change that for him. When my husband had an affair, he did me a favor because I never considered a divorce until that. If he hadn't done that, I would still be married and miserable. Now I am sharing my life with my best friend. Good luck! You can be in charge if you choose to do it!  Lady Pilot
 
September 9, 2008, 1:40 pm CDT

Makes me SICK!

Watching this show just makes me sick to my stomach.  I went through a divorce and the scenario was EXACTLY the same.  My then-spouse used to frequent dating sites while I was at work and then when I confirmed it and filed for divorce he turned so many tables I never saw coming and he manipulated the system and took custody of our son.  I know what this lady feels and what she is going through and my heart truly goes out to her.
 
September 9, 2008, 1:52 pm CDT

09/09 Make It or Break It!

What goes on between the adults is irrelevant.  They both appear to come from the loser-pool. 

What is inexcuseable, is that Tammy chooses to be with a man who abuses her child.  

 
September 9, 2008, 1:53 pm CDT

oh my

oh my god. This man is completely lying about everything. His wife must not really believe this, in her heart she has to know the truth and for some reason is choosing to ignore "the truth". Saying that he was doing research on those dating websites is bs. Stop telling lies and if you really want help go to a couples counselor to get specific professional help. His excuse s are so lame. The reason she didn't tell her family is because of the shame involved. She probably knew how her family would react to this. Please protect your children and yourself. This man is not worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really hope that you listen to dr phil and get yourself help to figure out why you would accept this kind of treatment. i wish you luck! Please don't think that you can't change your mind, children are resilient. with counseling you can all heal and you will be modeling healthy relationships for the children.
 
September 9, 2008, 2:03 pm CDT

Tammy what are you thinking?

God bless her.  She really needs to think much more of herself.  She seems like a nice person that just has REALLY poor judgement.  She can't really love in a healthy relationship until she learns how to love herself. Well at least more than she does now.  Grow a spine Tammy and try being okay in your own skin.
 
September 9, 2008, 2:06 pm CDT

She can get a NEW divorce agreement!!

The lady who didn't pay attention to her first divorce paperwork, now has the opportunity to 'do it over'  by negotiating a reasonable equitable divorce agreement.  Don't get an annullment - then the OLD divorce agreement is in effect.

 

 
September 9, 2008, 2:10 pm CDT

09/09 Make It or Break It!

Quote From: redrusty

  It is evident to me that Tammy loves this man, but unfortunately he does not love her, or is not in love with her.  I just don't get it....maybe she has low self-esteem or maybe she thinks she is not marketable.  I would just like to encourage her by letting her know that she is beautiful, and seemingly bright, and very sexy...so she should not settle with someone who isn't in to her.  As a man, I myself was taken aback by her and I am here to say she is very marketable....and no, I am not trying to get a date....just failing to understand her attraction to this man...she is definitely a 10

 

 

 

A 10?  You say she's a 10??  She's choosing to raise her son with this man as the role-model for how men should be.    She's choosing to be with a man who clearly doesn't respect her.  She signs the initial divorce papers without hiring a lawyer...and without even READING the document, and thereby handing over custody of her daughter.  So we're talking about a woman who portrays herself as a victim but really is victimizing her son, lost custody of her daughter, isn't bright enough to read the divorce papers and has married the same loser twice.  Doesn't sound like a 10 to me.

Oh, but wait...she is cute...

 
September 9, 2008, 2:11 pm CDT

3D

This guy has a bad case of having the 3Ds; deny, defend, and deflect.  Anything he was being accused of he would come back with mainly deflecting the bad behavior onto what she did.  She needs to find a great lawyer that will sit down with her and who will explain her rights to her. Then and only then does she sign, and let me tell you, if this guy thinks he had problems being married to her the 1st time, the 2nd divorce will prove to him that the problems for him have only just begun!
 
September 9, 2008, 2:17 pm CDT

09/09 Make It or Break It!

I found this show to be incredibly awkward-moving and hard to watch, not to mention very boring. The couple seemed very nervous and were so long-winded. I did not enjoy this one at all.
 
September 9, 2008, 2:34 pm CDT

If she wants him let her have him...

But the child should be taken away if she wants to be with him! If she wants to let herself get killed or hurt, if she stays he WILL hurt her, then fine but the child should not be part of it! He's a loser and shes stupid if she stays married to him!
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last