Topic : 08/05 Make It or Break It!

I can't believe that Tammy has been through all the bs with Paul, and then she looks at Dr. Phil with doe eyes and says I came here to see what to do and if this marriage will work out.  No wonder Paul sits there and comes up with these ridiculous statements!  This girl is running on automatic and he knows it!  Dr. Phil couldn't of made it more clear "BREAK UP"  Tammy sat there like a brick and it was clear that she was going home to more sticky notes.  She needs one that says "CALL DR. PHIL" on her forehead, before she, or the kids really get hurt.  Paul will just put up a sticky note, "Your fault, trailer trash".  I hope she gets help as soon as possible, the only intervention she needs is CPS and some self-esteem classes!  Get away from Paul, and his low class.  If he needs to leave sticky notes so he won't forget, something is wrong!

I am very glad that Dr.Phil was harsh on Tammy to get her to see what was going on, but why did he let off Paul (I think that was his name)? He did not address any of his issues, controlling, abuse, cheating, etc. He will not change and think that what he did is okay!! Anyone agree?

I was in an abusive marriage and I wish someone tried to try and give him a wakeup call. He is probably even worse off now though, over 3 years later!

I think just about everyone would agree that Paul will not change. Paul doesn't think he needs to change. Why would he, he has a drama queen by his side that thrives on the theatrics.

I do feel her pain, but I really wonder if she will actually SEE the truth  --  even when it's put in grass-roots language, and there is no mistaking the message . . . how much plainer could Dr. Phil be?

 

And the fact that he didn't take the guy to task as much as he could've  --  another "Dr. Phil-ism" comes to mind . . . "You can't nail Jell-o to a wall."  It was frankly a good decision to not waste the air-time on      "Jell-o," even if it would have been fun to see him squirm a bit.

 

The bottom line was crystal clear, and I hope a lot of other mothers out there heard it  --  your first duty is to protect the kids you bring into this world, not say,

 "Well, what about MY life?  What am I supposed to do without HIM?" as my mother did, and still does to this day. 

 

I can only hope her kids have a chance here to live a peaceful life, if the two ADULTS can stop acting like kids themselves and let the drama STOP.

 

 

 

 

I remarried my ex - we were happy for not even 2 months when his mother passed.  Not an excuse, but the truth.  Now I deal with the way things were in the marriage the last time - and even worse now.  I have had to stoop to his level and check the cell phone.... found the porn and what hurt the most was the memberlogin/profile/chat/chat/chat messages on the web history.  Single women, that were three years old when we started dating!! Anyways, I mean to say Im there - you hope it will be better.  I remarried hoping to have a complete and happy family for my daughter.  I hope for change, see flashes of the man I loved so much... but only flashes of the past.  I feel her pain. Her guy has an excuse for everything, as mine does.  Why are there entries on those sites? Excuse is it popped up there, and he clicked franticly to get it closed, so thats why its shown in the history line so many times..... hmmm.  Ok.... pleeeeze.  At least the woman is not played for a fool - she kept her eyes open - but it still hurts to know the person you married is a lie... just check the last searches on google.com - that will tell you alot about a person.

I read a lot of stuff about checking up on your mate. Checking history, and search engines and what not. If you find anything you're married to an idiot or someone that wants to get caught. If you are to the point that you are snooping your marriage is already over.

I just finished watching the make it or break it show and I say break it.  They should have never remarried.  He is a very controlling, his way of controlling her is by making her think that she is less of a person than he is but the reality is that he is the one that seems to have issues.  I think that it was very irresponsible of her to sign a paper without reading it, when it comes to a divorce I wouldn't sign anything without an Attorney seeing it first and especially when it comes to my daughter, that would have been my top priority.  They need to go their separate ways and find someone that they are better suited for.  You live one life and you should not have to live it being sad and mad all the time. 

   I agree with your advice.      Get a new Divorce settlement and have custody of your children.

 As a Christian I do not believe in divorce,   but   the mental stress of a verbal and an emotional abuser like him has to stop now. 

   There is an abuser and bully in our family.  He has worn down the extended family  physically and mentally trying to be supportive.    His wife has been brainwashed by his techniques of control.   

She is exhausted by the constant battle  to create a stable home, to work, and to protect her children.

The children are  the innocent victims.     As they are becoming older, he berates them about household jobs and being lazy.   He suffers from Obsessive Complusive, and they can't load a dishwasher correctly. (his way)        He refuses to allow them to cut lawn because the lawn won't be right.  (his way)

   The family is in middle of a medical crisis now.     His abusive behavior is making life very diffcult and complicated to deal with life's problems.

Clearly you guys missed all the prior infliction I had to withstand - After dating, lunching and sleeping over and planning to reunite, much to my amiss, Tammy still felt the need to run to Mexico with a guy who she had also been dating because after all, we were separated and I had filed for Divorce, however, I misjudged this fact and that I was one of the two at this time, however, regardless this fact, and I accept this being my fault,  but possibly I never completely, forgave her or perhaps she never really loved me.  Either way, or regardless, I am not making an excuse for my behavior, but we both have our faults and misunderstandings which I felt we could grow from and move beyond and live past.   Or, perhaps she really did have an ulterior motive . . and  this may be the reason I was reluctant to let go of my previous status so rapidly.   I did seem to be in awe and disbelief.  Because I did hope the fairy tale was finally coming true and after everything, she would be in my arms, we'd be holding each other tight and kissing goodnight, however, she does not feel I am her Knight, and not just because we fight, but due to lack of  sight, and loves might.  She only thinks she's right and cannot see the light or make our love take flight, despite this magnificent trite.  But here's my insight, "The truth can be adjusted."  Anyone can depict themselves as innocent and pure and bright, paint themselves in a picture on a White Horse, or with a Picket Fence, who's judging your depiction and making consequences?   You may wish to consider the bigger guy picture and not contrast his true delight.  But now, it is not the kids fault for our misguided spite,  yes, you are right, it's now For Kids Sake.  Peace!