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Topic : 08/05 Make It or Break It!

Number of Replies: 161
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, September 04, 2008, 12:08:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/09/08) Tammy and Paul were husband and wife for eight years before their marriage ended. After nine months apart, the couple secretly remarried, unbeknownst to their families who endured the drama of the first marriage, and would clearly not approve. Now, just weeks after saying "I do" for the second time, the two are having doubts of their own. Tammy says she caught Paul lying about seeing an ex-girlfriend and searching Internet dating sites. Meanwhile, Paul thinks Tammy's spying is wicked and deceitful. Find out how Tammy's sister, Cindy, reacts to the news of their marriage. Did Tammy and Paul rush too quickly into their second marriage? This time around, lies, allegations of infidelity and spying may break them up for good. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 6, 2008, 12:34 pm CDT

Ditto

Our son remarried his ex-wife two years ago last August.   We ask him if he was really sure because he had already put up with 14 years of h- - -.  He said yes - he had to try for his four sons.  So, we stood behind him 100%.  I personally took his wife out for lunch once a week until I was substitute teaching and couldn't do it so often, plus took her shopping, gave her gifts of manicures and pedicures, and paid for a 3-color hair treatment by by hair stylist.  I really couldn't afford any of it but wanted to try to be close to help make it work.  We babysat for trips and picked up grandsons and took them all over.  Their second divorce was final on September 1.  One day in January, she and I had recently gone to lunch and we had talked every day on the phone or by e-mail, the communication to me suddenly stopped.  That was the day she again filed for divorce.  They have also been separated twice.  Now, she is again telling the little grandson, 6, how mean we are as she is telling him how mean his dad is.  On Fridays, we have to pick him from all-day kindergarten and take him to his dad's until his dad can get home from work about 45 miles away (because the mother didn't want to live close to his work).  He takes my hand and walks to the car, gets in, and would not talk to us except we start asking questions about how his day went and what he learned.  Then we get one-word answers.  When we get to our son's, he goes in the front door, grabs a snack, and goes out the back door.  Even if it is hot or really chilly, he won't come in until his brother gets home over an hour later - guess it's because we are mean.  The only thing I have ever done is tell him I am his grandmother and he can't sass me.  He needs to treat me with the same respect I treat him with.  We will continue to hang in there with him because she did the same thing with the three older boys (15, 14,
11 1/2) and now none of them will listen to her because they are smart boys and they know that what she says is not true.  I ache for our grandsons.  They have had so much turmoil in their young lives as has their older sister, 21.  She was adopted by our son after he married her mother who had her without being married - which we have never, ever held against her.  My point is - maybe it is worth it to try if there are children involved but know when enough is enough for their sakes.  It is just as bad to live in a bad marriage of your parents, to be in and out of marriages with parents, and to be children of divorce.  At least now, they know they can turn to one parent and one set of grandparents whenever.
 
September 6, 2008, 6:38 pm CDT

too much has happened

my husband and i have seperated three times. i filed for divorce two times and he talked me out of it both times.alot of damage has been done.we are together now but struggling each day. this has been going on for six years now.it's too hard to forget all the words we have called each other and all the fighting (police involved twice). i think if your problems have just been going on for a short period of time you can get counceling and move on. when it's gone off and on for six years--there's too much history involved.and the trust is never back completely.you seem to take three steps forward and two backward. remarrying--i have heard--most the time doesn't work. if you didn't like them the first time--why would you the second time?? people can change--but don't expect it.
 
September 7, 2008, 11:22 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Break Doctor It Make Phil. What not another one of these again? Tell me another story. See you on Tuesd-

ay September 09th, 2008. Sincer;l\ley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------------

 
September 7, 2008, 8:28 pm CDT

09/09 Make It or Break It!

Quote From: hpmx59

Break Doctor It Make Phil. What not another one of these again? Tell me another story. See you on Tuesd-

ay September 09th, 2008. Sincer;l\ley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------------

well, i think that after the couple has had such a bad history together they should have never gotten remarried again. Some things that are said  and done ca'nt be forgotten even if you try. Even though divorce is bad i think that it is better than fighting in front of your children. Also just because youre not married doesent mean you ca'nt still be good parents to your children and make them happy. Divorced parents owe it to their kids to get along and make good decisions for their kids.They should be friends for their kids sake.The children are the most important thing ;they should think about them and not themselves. The kids did'nt ask to be where they are and they deserve to have a happy peaceful home with their parents together or not. The parents are adults i'm sure if they would quit thinking about themselves and start thinking about the kids they could come up with a solution that would work for everyone and make everyone happy but most importantly the Kids.
 
September 8, 2008, 9:45 am CDT

Both may be wrong

If he is cheating on her then he's wrong. If she's spying on him then she's wrong. The only reason the husband thinks spying on him is wrong is because he's probably cheating and doesn't wanna get caught.  If he's not cheating, then is he doing something to cause her to think he is cheating? If he's not cheating and she still spies on him then either she doesn't trust him or she's insecure in herself. 

 

They should not get married. They are not ready and if they do before they resolve their situations it will continue and lead to another divorce.

 
September 8, 2008, 10:38 am CDT

09/09 Make It or Break It!

Quote From: toanemo

my husband and i have seperated three times. i filed for divorce two times and he talked me out of it both times.alot of damage has been done.we are together now but struggling each day. this has been going on for six years now.it's too hard to forget all the words we have called each other and all the fighting (police involved twice). i think if your problems have just been going on for a short period of time you can get counceling and move on. when it's gone off and on for six years--there's too much history involved.and the trust is never back completely.you seem to take three steps forward and two backward. remarrying--i have heard--most the time doesn't work. if you didn't like them the first time--why would you the second time?? people can change--but don't expect it.

My father always told me "an ex is an ex for a reason".

 
September 8, 2008, 4:47 pm CDT

09/09 Make It or Break It!

This guy sounds like a real loser. Why would she remarry someone that has done this in the past and is still doing it.
 
September 9, 2008, 1:58 am CDT

09/09 Make It or Break It!

I am absolutely FURIOUS right now. Why would she take a man back that she knows abused her son? If my husband ever touched my son like that that would be THE END. I love my son more than anything in my life, and I would never let anyone harm him.

 

She is weak, she is spineless, she is irresponsible....this guy has 0 going for him, and she comes on here saying what should I do? what should I do? as if it isn't blatantly obvious. GET OUT!  Do you really need Dr Phil to tell you this? I think she just likes playing the victiam--at the children's expense. She doesn't deserve those kids, especially her son.

 

If we don't stand up for our kids and protect them, who will????

 
September 9, 2008, 2:50 am CDT

Why?

Quote From: usa_2425

This guy sounds like a real loser. Why would she remarry someone that has done this in the past and is still doing it.
Because there are still women who think that they aren't living a complete life without "a man to love them."
 
September 9, 2008, 4:22 am CDT

Healing takes time

I've read the remarks made.  I was married for 15yrs and divorced for 12 and a little over a years ago I remarried the same person.  My question is, Do they have children?   I truly think they should of taken more time.   The heart has to heal...all they did was pick up where they left off.   If this couple has children I feel they should try even harder to make it work.   If you don't have trust then you dont have much.  There will always be trouble.  I believe they needed to take time and search their hearts and see whats going on. I didnt do this before but since I was divorced when I had a problem with something I would ask myself why do I feel this way and just search my heart.  Divorce effects many people not just the husband and wife.  It effects the children, their families and friends. I truly believe a family that prayers together stays together.  

 
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