Topic : 09/12 The N-Word Debate

When my kids started hearing this word on tv and in music after being told not to use and asked me about it, I thought long and hard about what first seemed like an impossible oxymoron before answering. But then it just came to me. It's the same as me and my sister when we were little and my two children right now. We could beat the crap out of each other because we were blood, but Lord help anybody else who even looked at the other wrong. Brothers and sisters do terrible things to each other. It doesn't make it right, it's just the way the relationship is and always has been. When they grow up and mature, they stop. The racism issue is still young. Hopefully, when it grows up and matures, this behavior will stop.

I personally don't use the word, I don't like the word.  I have grown up with the feeling that a n.. is a black person the is rude and thuggish, one who thinks he is owed something by everyone.  A black person is someone who has accepted his race and color and moved past the idea that he is owed. 

My Grandmother was born in 1888.  We are of white/europen descent.  When I was a teenager, she explained to my siblings and I that she never wanted us to use the N- word.

She explained that, when she was a child it referred to unkempt, slovenly people.  She thought that people changed the meaning when they used it as a mispronunciation of the word Negro.

She said we would only show our ignorance to use it in such a way.

 

The n-word is a word that divides, separates and weakens American society. We are American--not African, Irish, Mexican, Chinese (all cultures which have had their own particular identifying slurs). Today it is more important than ever that we eschew language that pushes us apart. Our heritage is of course important, but as a guest pointed out, the n-word is a term which was inflicted on black Americans, and certainly not part of their original culture. Why would we want to hang on to it?

Honestly, I’ve no time to read all the posts (too busy blabbing on and ON with my opinions—so embarrassing), but I feel the need to get it out, so please forgive me if I’m being redundant.  Such a difficult and passionate topic needs to be fully discussed in a “safe” environment as it was begun today.  Some people spoke from their heart—things that needed to be said (I think).  Ms. Underwood was saying some very smart things that make a lot of sense.  That said, she also said that Black people “set up” the room, so if Whites say the N-word (or, as I heard, anything equally offensive to the average Black person) they will be stopped from leaving in a BAD, scary way.  She spoke with a widely accepted Black attitude that if you’re disrespected, or treated really badly, you can react violently and do whatever you feel is needed to “defend” yourself or to teach the racist a lesson.  God!  Mr. Mooney is SO angry!  He says that he wants to speak truth and stop the use of the n-word, and I believe he does.  BUT, if someone (mostly another race—and mostly Whites) says something that upsets him or makes him feel disrespected or angry, the gloves are OFF.  If ANY White person were to act like that toward a Black (or Latino, or any minority—but mainly, for this case, Black), they would be eviscerated (physically and/or emotionally) to the possible sounds of cheers from the crowd.  I’m using WAY too many words to say that the panel itself showed the double standard that is used by some minorities against Whites.  I’ve been bothered for many years by how humiliating, imitating in a very insulting way, or making Whites the butt of jokes is fine.  It’s funny, right?!  It really disappoints me and makes ME angry—at the speaker AND at the way White people laugh along through barbed humor aimed at them.  We act like it doesn’t bother us, probably out of guilt and a fearful desire to not be seen as racist ourselves.  Yes, there is racism that runs deep and is widespread in America!  We all know that. If it’s not okay to say or do to YOU, then it’s NOT okay to do to anyone else, even if they let you do it! How in the heck can we EVER move PAST our past if Whites continue to share the same ugly double standard as some minorities—particularly Blacks, but Latinos and other minorities too?? Of course, not everyone—of any race—enjoys mean and degrading humor at the expense of others. African-Americans, from 300 to 150+ years ago were kidnapped in the greatest part by White men or, on occasion were sold by African tribal leaders to White (even a few Black) slave runners and –traders.  These men, for their financial gain, did horrible, unbelievable, sometimes inhuman things to those whom they didn’t even consider to be humans.  That was a different world, and if it weren’t for White and exceptionally courageous Black people (including the Underground Railroad, of course), it would have gone on for much longer, I’ll bet!  Hard to believe that  any of THAT particular Hell could survive from those who’ve managed to infect 90% of Americans today—on some level, to some degree.  It wasn’t so long ago that the state I call home was openly practicing Jim Crow laws and even cross-burning.  As it happens, my family is in Germany for a while, where displaying Nazi memorabilia and the Swastika is seriously against the law.  The prejudice toward Jewish people is much like that of Blacks and Whites in our country today.  It’s there, and it’s even more under the surface than racism in America.  People manage to convey some nasty personal views, but can pull back at any sense of disgust from the other.  People of all races have had really bad things happen at the hand of the “other.”  You COULD look deep in yourself and determine to be the better (not superior, for Pete’s sake) person.  How do you think Martin Luther King, Jr. would have felt when he heard ANY of us call each other n*****?  Let’s just stop using it, and really commit to positive change.  Not finger-pointing, not guilt—you all know what I mean.  I believe that if we ever want to “get over” (good God)…or work through the ugly morass of prejudice and discrimination in our country, we each need to see ourselves with the eyes of the other.  Then we need to work on getting it out of our SELVES.  If we don’t acknowledge ALL of the prejudice and discrimination, nothing really gets better.  The grievous theft of some of our best will have been just what the haters wanted—and stole from all of us.  I apologize for my LONG and fervent post.  I hope somebody reads it.  

Quick Story that happened 9.11.08 - yesterday. Traveling down a two lane street in my local town and about 8 African American teens ages 15-19 were walking down the street taking up my ENTIRE lane. Tooted the horn for them to move and received no response. Tooted horn again and told by them to use the left lane. I advised nicely that it was a two way street and not a sidewalk made specifically for them. I was then called an Old White B----H! Can't say what I wanted to, but I did inform them that they were very disrespectful young adults and need to adjust their attitude.

I am sick of hearing about how African Americans are discriminated against when they also discriminate. Young or old , I hear all of their names for White people. They need to get out of the civil war times and get with the real world. Respect is given when it is received. And by the way - I do not believe that they are minorities these days - I believe that Caucasians are the minorities of this country now.!

My mother retired from a local hospital not long ago where she worked regularly with black people. I often heard her frustration at finding that any time she dared to complain of a co-worker's job performance it was as if she was attacking the individual as a black woman. This is not to say that ALL black women react in such a manner. My mother herself worked at a hospital in another state before the one from which she retired were her co-workers did not harbor such views. In fact she left it with a party held by her black women co-workers to wish her well and say goodbye. So it seems that it depends on where you are sometimes, but reverse-rascism does exist unfortunately, in my opinion.

I have a retarded son.  I hear that word all the time to describe someone stupid.  I think with all the problems in this world, my retarded son is the smart one.  He loves almost everyone, with the exception of mean people.  Anyway, I don't care what color your skin is, we all bleed the same color.  We need to divorce the "N" word.

Love you all,

Sweething25

having a guest like paul mooney ensures that while dr. phil can claim to have tried to address a heady and critical subject matter on his show, no progress is truly made. this typical and sly move of the dominant culture is just another tool of oppression. dont give yourself too much credit, dr. phil, when you ask a comprehensive panel to discuss an absolutely volatile issue and then throw a molotov cocktail into the mix. thanks for ensuring that discussion is limited, mitigated, and dead ended. thanks for perpetuating the laughable and stupid-sounding 'angry black man' stereotype. (maybe next time you can throw a kkk member up there, too, for counterbalance and really mimic a panel off of the Jenny Jones Show.) thanks for pretending to have an interest in bringing enlightened discussion to morning talk show watchers and then covertly subverting any possibility of discourse.

I am a 36 year old Black woman who is proud that God made me as I am. I am not a n**** and do not call anyone else (of any race) a n****. What bothers me most is when Blacks feel that the word can be used as a term of endearment. I DO NOT use it as a term of endearment or for any other purpose. It just boils my blood that Black people feel that we can use it as a substitute for "bro", "buddie", etc. Now, many of us know that the 'n' word stems back to a time in history when it was used in a demeaning way and had no underlying, nice message to it. If we are using the excuse that we are too young to know how it was used in the past, then it is up to us who know to teach the younger generations about the word AND to begin to discontinue the use of the word. If folks want to use it in their homes, I cannot tell them to do otherwise. But it is not okay for Blacks, White, Hispanics, Asians, or any other race to use. I wish we would lay this word to rest. I pray that we really open our eyes and QUIT talking about how it's okay to use amongst friends, QUIT thinking it's okay to use in rap because it's "how it is", and QUIT finding every angle to use it for good when we know that any way we use it will not change the historical meaning of the word which was used in a harming manner. It's time for us to be the intellects that we say we are and find other words to address our friends (or enemies). God allows us to make good or bad choices in life. Just know this...if we choose to make bad choices, including calling others the 'n' word,  He is not pleased by it.