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Topic : 09/12 The N-Word Debate

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Created on : Thursday, September 04, 2008, 12:16:52 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
This two-syllable expression is arguably the most divisive word in society. Dr. Phil tackles this touchy topic with help from a panel of outspoken luminaries: civil rights activist Rev. Al Sharpton; legendary comedian and writer Paul Mooney; CSI actor and author Hill Harper; comedian Sheryl Underwood and conservative radio talk show host Michael Graham. First, is there a double standard that allows African-Americans to use this sensitive word, while non-blacks are forbidden? The debate heats up when Rachel, a white guest, says she calls her husband the N-word all the time. Then, should hip-hop artists be censored or fined for using the N-word in their songs? Becky says rappers promote negative stereotypes with their lyrics, but find out who Rev. Al Sharpton thinks should face the music. Plus, does tone or intent make a difference when using the N-word? See what Dr. Phil thinks and share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 8, 2008, 2:47 pm PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: cornell74

I had a black great grandfather that was a black slave. Do you know what makes me mad, the word coon. That word is what makes me mad. I think that sounds more degrading then n****r. I call my husband the N word because, OK its like this. 3 years ago my aunt did a family history and by doing that she found out that our ancestors were black slaves! We had no idea. My grandmother kept it a secret from us because she was ashamed, when she was a child in Tennessee her mother (my great grandmother) had to bring her to live in Michigan because they didn't want a half black child going to their school. She was told by her mother never to tell anyone she had black in her. My grandmother looked more Indian then black, however my aunt looked white with black features. We just thought my aunt look different we had no idea till 3 years ago why, now we do. I have seen picture's of my ancestors and It made me angry to find out what they went through.  My husband laughed about it because my father (who did not raise me at all) don't like blacks. And my husband don't like my father so it was funny to him to find out I had black in my history. It was like a stab at my dad for him. So it became a joke between him and I and I told him if I'm black that means he is too cause he is married to me (not that you have to be the same race to be married OK) But I said he is black too. I call him n****r just being silly. I was proud of my history and mean no harm by it we just act silly. However when I was at the Dr. Phil show I met this really cool guy named Darius who is on the show and he explained to me that he didn't like the word n****r but n***a was cool with him. I told him I respect that and will call my husband N***a instead. Darius is Black by the way, as he is very cool I will miss him and Ray the black guy who sits next to me on the show, is is great too. I will not stop using the word because I am not hurting anyone. I am myself, I do not lie or be fake, Rachel is Rachel what you see is what you get. I may not be politically correct but I am what I am. Who cares where the word came from, it is what it is, whats cool about it is people are saying it in playful ways. Blacks say they use it as a term of endearment toward each other. Its OK to let the word loose it strength. We get called crackers and white trash. I cant tell you how many times I hear blacks bitch about white people so you know what maybe your not racist your just ignorant.

Wow so you  just applied the same meaning to a different spelling of the same word.... Do you have any idea how redundant that is? You must not be too proud of your heritage using the same word associated with the acts of beating and raping them to joke around with your husband. I see you used the two black guys you met at the show to support your morbid sense of humor but if I told you the names of 20 black guys that disagrees with the belief that the "er" and "a" spelling of the word does not change its meaning I don't think it would stop you from saying it. Why does it have to be the N word? There is a word that starts with the letter N that isn't offensive and would actually make the story you told us tolerable maybe even humorous.... maybe. Do you care to guess what that word is? Think of solution to problem if you really want to end the conflict not people to reinforce you bias belief...please.

 
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September 8, 2008, 2:49 pm PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: cornell74

I call my white husband the N word. How is that hurting a black. The topic of the show is actually why can blacks use it and whites cant. It is not a debate on why whites cant say it to blacks. No one should say it to another if it offends them any more then any other name calling. Look the answer is simple, treat the N word as name calling and as in name calling watch who your saying it to and why you are saying it. My friend may say hey bitch and thats OK but if you say it thems fighting words. Don't name call anyone if its hurtful but if I want to say it to my husband being playful and goofy then that is my prerogative. OK I have given your replies more attention them they are worth, say what every you want, the N word is not longer just an association to blacks if you think that then I would have to call you racist!
My brothers and I call each other "bitch" or "biatch" all the time. It's a funny term of affection. We've been doing it for well over a decade.
 
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September 8, 2008, 3:52 pm PDT

Rachel from the show

Quote From: jaukowarrant

Wow so you  just applied the same meaning to a different spelling of the same word.... Do you have any idea how redundant that is? You must not be too proud of your heritage using the same word associated with the acts of beating and raping them to joke around with your husband. I see you used the two black guys you met at the show to support your morbid sense of humor but if I told you the names of 20 black guys that disagrees with the belief that the "er" and "a" spelling of the word does not change its meaning I don't think it would stop you from saying it. Why does it have to be the N word? There is a word that starts with the letter N that isn't offensive and would actually make the story you told us tolerable maybe even humorous.... maybe. Do you care to guess what that word is? Think of solution to problem if you really want to end the conflict not people to reinforce you bias belief...please.

you know what them two black guys are some are the best people I ever met your just ignorant and had to put in your two cents.Those two black guys names are Darius and Ray and for your information they were there to debate the issue on my side!  Let me ask you a question, am I hurting anyone with what I do in the privacy of my own home. Do I go out and yell the word at blacks, no. I could tell you the names of 20 black guys that agree with my "morbid sense of humor", the world is full of different people with different views and beliefs you cant please everyone. So I will live my life my way and you can live your your way. The N word is not what is keeping the race issue going, the black race (most) is keeping the race issue going, because they love to stomp their feet and get whatever they want handed to them on a silver platter and they know they can get their way if they cry racism, after all this is being debated on a white mans show right? Think Montel will have a show debating the word cracker?  I think I had  defended my private life enough. Know whats funny, it is black people that created the word with an A instead of ER, NOT WHITES. Whoopie Goldberg said on the view that black men took the word back and changed it to what they wanted it to be which is with an a. She said they use it toward each other as a term of enderment. So as far as I'm concerned it is now an endearing word and that you can thank the black race for! Could I call my husband something different........In public I do. As long as your not in my home then don't worry about it.
 
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September 8, 2008, 3:55 pm PDT

Rachel from the show

Quote From: azeedra

You sound like an intellilgent man.  Just how would you propose to solve this issue.  By keeping the fire lit with discussions such as this?  Would you propose to expand on this issue and tackle other words like,

"greaser", "white trash" or similar racial slurs?  Don't get me wrong.  I'm just saying that sensationalizing the issue isn't going to make it go away.  It's a fact that, in this crumbling society, there's too much attention drawn to the use of this word.  If Mr. Sharpton insists on debating this issue, he needs to begin with the people who put it out there the most.  I very seldom even hear this word anymore except in the movies, television, or rap music.  But, you can't censor them because the have the so-called right of freedom of speech and "artistic" license.  They can say and do whatever they want and THAT has a major influence on todays society.  The truth is it begins at home and far too many young adults in this day and age don't have positive role models.  We live in a parentless society and the young people have no where to turn but the media.  And therein lies the problem.

I love this person. Good answer
 
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September 8, 2008, 4:23 pm PDT

Rachel from the show

Quote From: jaukowarrant

I give much credit to Dr. Phil for attacking this issue. We are supposed to be a United America but this is one of the things keeping us from being that. I am black and it's been close to 4 years that I've been with my girlfriend who is white. She comes from a household that uses the N word a lot towards blacks. Growing up I knew of it only as a bad word not to be said and I retain that in my adult life. She grew up to evolve from her parents close minded believes and now we are building a family with her parents backing the relationship 100%. As an American I believe in free speech, but personally I feel as if this is a word that shouldn't be uttered. I would kill for BLACK Americans to quit using this word it simply divides us. I know plenty of blacks that don't say the word but it should be all of us that refrain from saying it. That being said it's a little dumb and childish for whites to say the word, knowing they shouldn't, and defend their actions by saying blacks use it too. To quote our parents "If Blacks jump off a bridge should you do the same?". Since the word can't be banned I say lets give this word to the ones who wish to do nothing else but separate this country. We need to become better people and self regulate on the words we say. In my eyes the word is "hands down" the number one indicator of a racist, judgmental, and prejudice person and there is no way around that. To say the word is to confirm that you are a person influenced by stereotypes and can be mislead to do and act in a way that you know is wrong. Feeble. If the word must be kept legal let it be said by the Racist and only the racist. We must show we are not the offender but the victim in this debate. The Word is Wrong end of story. If fingers must be pointed let it be used to resolve the issue.
First off you have a white girlfriend, A white talk show host is holding this debate and a black man is running for president. What more is there? No more N word, come on I can stop but its never going to go away. Would you rather I admit I say it and tell you the truth that I am not racist or should I not say it and utter the word in my mind every time I see a black person. The problem is behind the person who says the word the problem is behind the closed mouth of the racist. END OF STORY
 
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September 8, 2008, 4:46 pm PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Either the word N***** is despicable and vile and should not be used by all, or make it what you want it to be, change the meaning of it , but not for use by only a select few, and then see if you want this word and the history of this word to be used without thought.

 

I know what the word mean's and it was a word that degraded so many for so many years, the fight for it not to be used and to change generations of ignorance and  intolerance. To bring this word back now slams the people who work to change this and suffered under it, and it slams those who taught there children well, ,to respect  all and to understand the meaning of this vile word.

 

I won't use it, not because of who it might offend now the ones that use  as if  it means pal with a cooler twist of a word and without thought, but out of respect of those who couldn't say anything when it was being used in a degrading way.

 
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September 8, 2008, 5:24 pm PDT

Rachel from the show

Quote From: cornell74

First off you have a white girlfriend, A white talk show host is holding this debate and a black man is running for president. What more is there? No more N word, come on I can stop but its never going to go away. Would you rather I admit I say it and tell you the truth that I am not racist or should I not say it and utter the word in my mind every time I see a black person. The problem is behind the person who says the word the problem is behind the closed mouth of the racist. END OF STORY
What i ment to say was this "the problem is NOT behind the person who says the word, the problem IS behind the closed mouth of a racist"
 
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September 8, 2008, 5:46 pm PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: cornell74

you know what them two black guys are some are the best people I ever met your just ignorant and had to put in your two cents.Those two black guys names are Darius and Ray and for your information they were there to debate the issue on my side!  Let me ask you a question, am I hurting anyone with what I do in the privacy of my own home. Do I go out and yell the word at blacks, no. I could tell you the names of 20 black guys that agree with my "morbid sense of humor", the world is full of different people with different views and beliefs you cant please everyone. So I will live my life my way and you can live your your way. The N word is not what is keeping the race issue going, the black race (most) is keeping the race issue going, because they love to stomp their feet and get whatever they want handed to them on a silver platter and they know they can get their way if they cry racism, after all this is being debated on a white mans show right? Think Montel will have a show debating the word cracker?  I think I had  defended my private life enough. Know whats funny, it is black people that created the word with an A instead of ER, NOT WHITES. Whoopie Goldberg said on the view that black men took the word back and changed it to what they wanted it to be which is with an a. She said they use it toward each other as a term of enderment. So as far as I'm concerned it is now an endearing word and that you can thank the black race for! Could I call my husband something different........In public I do. As long as your not in my home then don't worry about it.

First off! Please quit saying that black people are trying to get special treatment. We aren't. As a women I'm surprised that you take such a harsh stand towards people fighting for equality. Do you roll your eyes every time you hear a female scream rape, huh? Or an Asian American question why they are underrepresented in all forms of media and government? Black people weren't the only group that had laws passed in their favor and as long as America continues to target groups of people we will not be the last. I ask you with a heavy heart that you let go of these stereotypes cause they are the kind of tactics that the KKK use to recruit their members. Watch a documentary or two you might discover something about yourself. The subject is the N word. I'm asking for blacks to relinquish the idea that they are allowed to speak the word. Do you think Darius and Ray would be less offended if Micheal Richards said what he said using "a" instead of "ER". No cause its the meaning behind the word. White people use to say the word openly at one time but they were able to self regulate it out of their everyday speech (for the most part). Its like teaching your child right from wrong and it is capable. What you are proposing is the lazy way out. We should be held accountable of what we say and not just hope the word will stupefy into a new meaning. The word will never be accept among the ones who are intelligent enough to know that they are being criticized. I will cry when the day comes that " Way to go *N word*" will be acceptable just like you would hate for the term "Excuse me B**ch" to become  courteous.

 
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September 8, 2008, 6:05 pm PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

I was mulling this over while I did dishes because I have to say, so far I don't like the way this conversation is going...it seems to be missing the point...IMO anyway.

Words are words. Words can be used to convey ideas. I feel like it is useless to get upset at a WORD...however getting upset at an idea is something else.

Imagine these two things someone could say:

  • "Stupid n*****!!!"
or
  • "Black people are the cause of all the bad in our world. Slavery should be legal again."
Which one is really something to be upset about?

We had a similar conversation about the f-word a few months ago. I do not find the f-word offensive in the least. I use it when I see fit. It's a WORD.

Someone could come up to me and say one of two things:

  • "F*** YOU!"
or
  • "I hope you get killed by a rabid bear so I can dance on your grave."

Which one am I going to be more insulted by?

My point is, it's not the word, it's the idea behind it. And the ideas behind "bad" words can be conveyed with out the use of the "bad" words. So it seems silly to me to have words that are off limits.
 
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September 8, 2008, 7:12 pm PDT

Rachel from the show

Quote From: PennyLane78

I was mulling this over while I did dishes because I have to say, so far I don't like the way this conversation is going...it seems to be missing the point...IMO anyway.

Words are words. Words can be used to convey ideas. I feel like it is useless to get upset at a WORD...however getting upset at an idea is something else.

Imagine these two things someone could say:

  • "Stupid n*****!!!"
or
  • "Black people are the cause of all the bad in our world. Slavery should be legal again."
Which one is really something to be upset about?

We had a similar conversation about the f-word a few months ago. I do not find the f-word offensive in the least. I use it when I see fit. It's a WORD.

Someone could come up to me and say one of two things:

  • "F*** YOU!"
or
  • "I hope you get killed by a rabid bear so I can dance on your grave."

Which one am I going to be more insulted by?

My point is, it's not the word, it's the idea behind it. And the ideas behind "bad" words can be conveyed with out the use of the "bad" words. So it seems silly to me to have words that are off limits.
You said it very well, thanks
 
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