Topic : 09/12 The N-Word Debate

I am a white 44 year old woman.  I grew up in metro/NYC area.  I just say the first line to tell you when I was growing up in the late 60's and early 70's in my household I received double messages.

 

My momma grew up in Alabama and when she was 3 years old an African American woman saved her life.  My momma had whopping cough and the woman who lived next door ran out in the back yard and plucked a chicken feather and aided my grandma and cleaned my mom-ma's throat out  saving her breath.  My momma never allowed prejudice in our home.

 

My father is another story.  An African American man came into our home when I was 5-6.  I addressed him as Mr. D........ I loved that man.  I sat all day and watched him craft our new cabinets and all day long I said Mr. D.....would you like some water?  How is that done  etc?  He answered me very kindly and lovingly.  When my father gave him the check for his day of working I said  Goodbye Mr. D.....Thank you....I was really sad to see him go....As he left our driveway My father looked down at me and said he was a F  ING N!~  I couldn't believe it.  It was like a bolt of bad lighting go through me.  I didn't understand why why he just said such a terrible thing about such a nice man.

 

Starting at an early age too my father said DON'T YOU EVER bring home a black boyfriend either or I will disown you....Why would he even try to program my mind like this? 

 

My father did a lot of toxic things in my family of origin.  Double messages to children are poison and to this day I do not say the N  word.  It's ugly and it's poisonous!

xox

S

And so do america...

the power of this word (that everyone thinks is so taboo) comes from people that feel the way you do

if you would have told your half black grand kids that everyone in this great and (sometimes) free country has a right to say it then they would be much better equiped to deal with the world in stead you have them living in this make believe land of nanas house where the word doesnt exist so when they do get to the real world the word will have way more power than it would have if they had grown up with the word in their daily life

Read Matthew 12:36-37 in the Bible !

I agree with Julius022.  Great Message!  I feel it boils down to respect.  I don't use the N word or the F word.  It is disrespectful to the people around you.  It doesn't matter if you are white or black.  We are American's! We are not African Americans, or German Americans, or Asian Americans.  WE ARE AMERICANS!!!!  We need to act like it by respecting each other enough to use the English language the way it was intended.  The English language has many descriptive words that we can use to show affection and friendship.  Why use a word that can be hurtful???  We need to quit feeling sorry for ourselves because of our background and ancestry and move on.  We all should learn from history, and respect it -not dwell on it.  Everyone has had hardships in their lives and God didn't want us dwelling on it.  He expects us to live every single day loving and respecting our neightbors.  Again, I say it all boils down to respect.  If we all respect each other enough not to use this word-we wouldn't be having this discussion.  We would be talking about improving our country for our children and grandchildren. 

i have to say that this is one of may favorite shows in a while. I think that part of resolving an issue is having open dialog about an issue like on today's show.  I would like to say that the colorful panel brought a lot of underlining issues to the surface,  I would mostly just like to say as far as that word is concerned, NOBODY should be able to say it.  Sine that word is so full of history and hatred, why is everybody, black and non black in such a hurry to use it????!!!! i would have to also comment that the white lady who had the nerve and ignorance to say that she uses the word all the time to her husband and feels that there is no problem, made me sick to my stomach.  And the fact that she followed that statement with she feels like she has to walk on egg shells is clear evidence that she is a full out racist. And what we have to realize is that racism is not what it use to be.  People in the deep south that are married to there cousins have historically been the face of racist.  But we need to take a closer look at the issue.. society no longer warrants that racist carry Confederate flags.  Its is the gentle nuisances that creep into consciousness from the media that make white people think that its OK to treat all black less than fairly. And a person can still be a racist just thinking these thoughts,so you birth idiots like that young lady.  a good rule of thumb would be to not speak of things that you don't understand. so this is for the lady that said that black people should get over it. i completely support almost everything that Paul Mooney said, and i fear that some of America may have messed the message for  the messenger's delivery.  Paul Mooney  comes off so angry because white people JUST DON"T GET IT. i would think it would be very difficult to find a white person that changes their voice when they interview for a job or have to change their name to a more traditionally white name job they could get a freaking job just so that they can fit in to the box that white people have preset as what a "good" black person should act like, move like, look like.  its all so demoralizing  Its the double conciseness that W.E.B DuBois spoke of in the Souls of Black Folks.  And that is something a white person has never had to go through therefore would never understand.  I was really outraged by devalue that some of the audience members placed on the word. But that all i have to say.  I was so fired up i had to say something

Where do I start...I am going to school to be a social worker, so I tend to fall on the "liberal" side of topics like this. Needless to say, this is not an exception. I 100% agree with the fact that this word should not be used. One woman on the show said, "If I can use it without it being racist..." This is IMPOSSIBLE considering the fact that this is a racially charged and created word. And telling a man whose ancestors were forced to come from Africa to here, to get over it...is a moronic statement and a racist statement. And the Mexican woman on the show who said that, I am sure would not appreciate being called a S**c. Whether she came here by choice or not. And for an educated man to say that institutional racism does not exist, makes him look horrible. I am from Flint, Michigan. I grew up in a racially and ethnically diverse area. You understand that everyone works just as hard and still get screwed over by the system. A perfect example of institutional racism is when Proposal 2 in Michigan was passed making it illegal for any form of affirmative action to be used and also outlawed the use of scholarships targeted at minorities. This should never have been passed. Institutional racism is the fact that inner city schools are underfunded and populated mainly by minorities and they don't get the proper education that they deserve. And for the white woman in the audience who called a black man racist, does not know the definition of "racist". African and Black Americans do not have the power to be racist and oppress white people or any other ethnicity. I am very disappointed in the white culture...and for those of you who think I am a black person spouting off my beliefs...Im WHITE.

Couldn't agree more!!!!!   God Bless

I don't use the N word.  Don't think anyone should.  My question is when do we get to the point that we are "forgiven" for the sins of our ancestors.  I'm helping my kids fill out college applications and scholarship applications.   The ACT scores and grade point averages that caucasions have to have compared to minorities (for scholarships)  is alarming.  My son could have had a full ride if he were a "minority".  Define "prejudice" to me?  I feel as though we are continually "paying" for the sins of our forefathers.  When do we reach the point where we have paid our dues?