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Topic : 09/12 The N-Word Debate

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Created on : Thursday, September 04, 2008, 12:16:52 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

This two-syllable expression is arguably the most divisive word in society. Dr. Phil tackles this touchy topic with help from a panel of outspoken luminaries: civil rights activist Rev. Al Sharpton; legendary comedian and writer Paul Mooney; CSI actor and author Hill Harper; comedian Sheryl Underwood and conservative radio talk show host Michael Graham. First, is there a double standard that allows African-Americans to use this sensitive word, while non-blacks are forbidden? The debate heats up when Rachel, a white guest, says she calls her husband the N-word all the time. Then, should hip-hop artists be censored or fined for using the N-word in their songs? Becky says rappers promote negative stereotypes with their lyrics, but find out who Rev. Al Sharpton thinks should face the music. Plus, does tone or intent make a difference when using the N-word? See what Dr. Phil thinks and share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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jonsey11002

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September 13, 2008, 1:02 am PDT

I have a name and it isn't 'N', 'B' 'H' or 'F'

First and foremost I am a person with thoughts and feelings. This is before race, gender, sexual orientation or anything else that anyone can think of. Someone in my life took the time to give me a name. Being called anything other than this name can be seen as disrespectful or sexist. Some people says this is a free country and we can say anything we want. Yes this is a free country. But to live in a free country it means we have a responsibility, not only to ourselves but to those around us. Because we are never really sure how something will be taken, using any of these words can be offensive. You may be talking to one person directly, who may think it is okay for you to use these words, but you may offend a third party who overhears what you are saying. Responsibility for our society and what it becomes. I hear any of these words can be terms of endearment. If they are terms of endearment for you, and you say them, then you are saying it is okay for me to call you those names. I for one, will not use them as terms of endearment because they are derogatory. As people, we become what we say about ourselves. I refuse to lower myself to the standards of others. Some people say, 'it is okay for me to say these things, but not okay for you'. This is a double standard. I think the bigger questions to ask are: Do we really want a society that is devisive? Do we really want a society where we take sides and keep to ourselves, not learn from each other. Do we want a society where everyone is respected for those great things they bring to the table vs how they are perceived by the language they use. To me, using these words is the same as cussing....the person using them, don't have the vocabulary to express themselves any other way...or it is learned behavior...or you just think it is cool...Think about this: how do you want people to perceive you? Does our language play a part in this? Do you want your children calling you these names? Because they will....children learn what they live. Is that what has really happened in our society? I work with young people who use this language all the time and we have dicussions all the time. No matter how one cuts it, using this kind of language on anyone is unaccepable and disrespectful. The other side of that is, people know where I stand on this issue and they don't use it around me, which I appreciate. I did not raise my children to be called names or call others names because I firmly beleive that what goes around, comes around. What do we want to occur in our society? This is 2008, have we not come any further than the 60's and 70's? What are the standards we need to make our society bigger and better. Because our nation is becoming very diverse how are we going to treat each other as people?

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patchtabby

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September 13, 2008, 1:02 am PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: noellebug

what makes me even more mad, is if your trying to come to an agreement with a black person over something racial, it always comes down to that fact " they were slaves". You can never find common ground because I think subconsciously black people always want to come back to - "you owe me." Black people has it ever occurred to you, that I don't owe you a darn thing? has it ever occurred to you that not every single white person on this planet hates you for your skin color. MLK said judge them by the content of their character not by skin color. Well I do judge by character and I have to say....I do not like the character of 90% of black people. Watching the show today I was so disgusted by the attitude and tone and choice of words by the african american guests. If I never see the guy with the hat again, I will die a perfectly happy WHITE woman !! who as he says " is a minority". ROTFLMAO!!!

I don't understand how the comic lady was going to tell the spouse of another african america that she cannot use the word. Listen baby, as long as you use it, IM GONNA USE IT!

You cannot push for equal treatment and then go against it by saying " I can say it, but you can't" all that is, is a power trip. As much as black history is taught and appreciated in schools and national holidays I am starting to think that all that does is push anger on young black children. Then they go home to their families talking about being treated unfair and then they hear it all over the news. Of course they are going to grow up angry and feeling like everyone owes them because that is what they are taught. It is in their environment!! It's an endless cycle.

All this discussion will end as soon as black people stop treating white people like were wrong and your better than us. You did not learn racism from me or any other white person - you learned that from your family.

-aunt to 2 black nephews!!

Thank you for speaking the TRUTH.

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patchtabby

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September 13, 2008, 1:05 am PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: lakane

There are people like Paul Mooney, and there are people who are not. There's the extreme left, and the extreme right (not referring to politics.)

Just make sure that you say these exact phrases to your White brethren who are on other TV shows talking about how embittered they are because all the Jews and all the Blacks are stealing all the jobs and taking all the white women and so on and so forth. There are white opportunists just as there are Black ones. Please.

I wasn't aware that "white brethren" got on tv and whined about Jews and Blacks taking all the jobs and white women. This is news to me. Perhaps you can post a link to a video clip of this, noble one.

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justthefacts

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September 13, 2008, 1:46 am PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: ohines

It seems to me that there is reverse racism going on. Blacks can use N***** in their songs and raps but Whites aren't supposed to say it. Where's the logic in that? If they can use it about themselves then they shouldn't get all in our faces when we or anyone else uses it too.

Besides....aren't there more important things to work on in this world of ours besides the use of a word?

I'll explain the logic...when you're with your friends and/or family, I'm sure you can say pretty much anything thing, use any word, phrase, even an insult. But, when in public, or with someone else's family, you would not say those things...Why? Because it may come across as rude or disrespectful. The same is with the N-word, it is a word I, as a Black woman use with those closest to me, and there is no malice behind it, but I don't use it in public, even with other Black people that I do not know, because I don't know if they maybe offended. It is the same with other terms, like redneck, or cracker...there may be White people that use the word freely amongst themselves, but I would never use it towards them, because again, they may feel disrespected..And...you're absolutely right, there are more important things...but this is the topic of conversation.

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mbaker40

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September 13, 2008, 2:06 am PDT

unbelievable

i t hink paul mooney really needs to get over it!! he acts as if he was personally held as a slave..WE have done nothing to HIM and he acts as if HE PERSONALLY was one....i'm sorry, but he's one who thinks we owe him EVERYTHING and we do NOT....i'm sorry, but now its the white people who are discriminated against...he said the white woman is a minority and will become extinct...but then when a white woman from the audience said she is discriminated against every day, he got all huffy and said no way and that she had NO IDEA what it was like....i guess he likes to feel the african americans are the only ones...please paul mooney, you are the one sounding like the moron...

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fridaytgif

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September 13, 2008, 2:39 am PDT

The "N" word

I agree about the reverse racism concept. I am from the Pacific Northwest and did not experience the turmoil that it sounds like people living in the south have. I am white, but have friends of all colors. Why do we even refer to people by their color, we're all humans no matter what.

About 20 years ago I attended a series of seminars. One of the key items I took away from these was this: You have to be 100% accountable for what occurs in your life, good or bad, and not sit around and be a VICTIM. Sitting in a pitty pot all of the time is not going to get you anywhere. Even if a bad thing that occurs to you is not your fault, such as an earthquake that destroys your home, you have to take steps to move forward, not be a victim. We learned the phrase: "I attract to me that which occurs." I haven't read The Secret yet, but I think it's on the same track - the laws of attraction. African Americans need to take the chip off their shoulder (which the comedian, Mooney, seems to have) and quit playing the victim. How many years ago was slavery abolished, anyway? I know things aren't always fair, but look how far women have come on their equal rights and many have become successful in the business world. Maybe if African Americans would quit talking like lower class citizens they would be respected more. I can usually tell by sound only when a person is black because of the way they talk. Besides being a great actor, Sidney Poitier talks like a normal, educated person, and I think that's part of how he became such a success in a time that blacks weren't given movie roles unless they were derogatory ones. Speak like a literate person and you'll be treated like one.

Mooney should take his own advice - Get Over It. I'd never heard of him before and I definitely won't listen to his work now after the tirade he had on Dr. Phil's N word show.

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shanini22

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September 13, 2008, 3:32 am PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: tired66

Since when do we define freedom as the right to hurt others? If a word hurts, don't use it. It is a silly excuse to say that others use a hateful word, so I will. I teach social psychology and despite warnings from others we have open discussions on racism in class. Whether it matters or not, I have light colored skin and I am a woman. I start my discussion by explaining that, although genetically there is no basis for the concept of race, racism is a very real social problem. While overt racism has been reduced, there is still a lot of scientific evidence that implicit racism still exists and effects the way important decisions are made( such as hiring processes and fear of crime). It cannot be argued that the experience of living in the US as a person of color is a experience, than living in the US as a "white" person, just as the experience of being a woman is different. When I was in college, one of my best friends was a black man from a large urban area. We went to a very diverse and very liberal private college. One night when a group of us were cramming for an exam, my friend and I made a snack run to a town close by. When we were in the convenience store, the clerk followed my friend the whole time. I could have robbed them blind because he paid no attention to me. That kind of experience changes your experience of the world. Persons of color, (black, Hispanic, Asian, or other) experience different perceptions and sometimes it hurts. If a person who has experienced a painful experience asks not to use a term that is associated with that experience, why would we refuse to abandon that word, even if other do not.

ok, i'm getting really sick of white people thinking they have any right to make a judgement on this. i'm white so i can say this. yes, slavery did end a long time ago, however; the wounds and legacy continues because of many white people's lack of resposibility and ignorance for their forfathers hidious creation of slavery. how dare anyone say "just get over it". you could never know all the pain these people went through. also, how can they get over it if white america keeps perpetuating fear for the black race and holding so many opportunites back from many well qualified african americans. i believe the black american has every right to use that word. black people didn't make the word but it was given to them in a mean spirited way. no white person should ever say it outloud. you have no business using that word and why would you want to. the caucasion race needs to take their medicine for their forfathers mistakes so that nothing like that ever happens again..

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jamescpotter

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September 13, 2008, 4:03 am PDT

The "N" Word or any word for that matter

We wouldn't be having this discussion if we would exercise a little discretion and ask ourselves three (3) questions before saying or doing something: Is it TRUE? Is it NECESSARY? Is it KIND? If it isn't, drop it and move on. If our speech and actions comply with these simple criteria, then we are living in the presence of love (charity). Otherwise we are walking the path of power. Remember: love gives, power takes.

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alexisann118

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September 13, 2008, 4:30 am PDT

09/12 The N-Word Debate

Quote From: twebb0106

Now often times people believe that I can not be taken seriously because I am 'just fourteen,' well I believe that it is us, the teens of America, those who will be active members of society in a few short years, that should be listened to the most; because like it or not the country will soon be in our control. We need to stop the word in our generation, right now! Before we become parents and we teach our children. It is a snowball effect. The word should never have been used in fact rascism should never have occured, but the truth is it did. We need to stop looking into the past and hurting because of what happened years ago. I realize I don't fully or even slightly understand the pain of rascism. I know that it impacted our society in an enormous way, but I feel as if we should educate so one day we don't relapse. I believe that all people are entitled to the way they feel about what may have happened to them or their ancestors during the time of slavery, but I don't think that we should be publically displaying those emotions. I think we must start with the core, put on a game face and rid our country of all the words effecting people emotionally such as The N-word the F-word and others such as these. The word needs to go! This new trend must be set by the rappers and the role models to all the teens and kids. They are who we look up to. We live in a society that is so trendy and if you don't follow that trend you are odd man out. So we must start there and then it will snowball backwards. Maybe this is an unrealistic idea, but I just don't understand all the fuss about whether it should be allowed to be used by black people or by white people. I feel as if that confuses those of younger newer generations. I think we must start fresh. Allow for children to stay nieve and to not be exposed to such things.

You are a very smart very wise young lady. Great words of wisdom. : ) You stay strong and dont be infulenced by the people of this world. Keep your own choices and opinions.

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lorismaltz

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September 13, 2008, 4:35 am PDT

N Word Debate

By 1968 all forms of segregation had been declared unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court.

Using the N word is just one way that ignorant blacks choose to put themselves into a group and claim to continue to blame "the man" for it, as if they [ ignorant blacks] didn't have a choice in their OWN behavior. Come on. You get what you deserve if you use that word, black, white --- whatever you claim to separate into.

Racism exists today because ignorant blacks desegregate themselves by saying blacks can only use this word and then further promote the use of the N word they claim was given to them by the white man (IRONIC HUH? LOL ) Why would you want to use the N word a white man (someone you THINK you hate even though it was a black man who sold the first black slave from africa) gave you?

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