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Topic : Share Your Thoughts on Our New Web Design!

Number of Replies: 116
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Created on : Monday, September 08, 2008, 04:46:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
DrPhil.com has been given a facelift! Do you like our new look, or do you miss some of the old features? Speak your mind.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 20, 2009, 9:47 pm CST

Understand

Quote From: liltaters01

 I'm sorry I am unable to offer any advise on making a fathers rights more relavent, but my fiance and I do understand what your going through.  My fiance has to constantly fight with the courts, social servises, and lawyers to get anything done with his son.  We had a visitation order set but the bio mother still with holds the child, bribes him to stay with her on our weekends, and etc etc etc.  We have followed the roller coaster of emotions that come with the child.  The bio mother use to tell the child that his dad and I didn't love him, we didn't want to have visits with him, and that we just plain hated him.  I'm so thankful that the child didn't turn on us but we did have a lot of problems to work through.  The child seems to be so much better about blowing off what his mother tells him and how things actually are at our house.  There are still side affects though and it shows in his self esteem and self worth.  We believe some of the brainwashing still might be going on but we think we have brought the child to a level where he can fight it off.  Just keep your head up about your child and situation.  Its a tough road but if being done for your child's sake, its 100% worth it!!!!
I'm in Ohio too, and unfortunately until the right people are elected, and/or put in power, the only way to win a situation like this is to be the one with more money....  I went through a 2yr fight, lost my house, sold my car, and $18k later, at least got 50/50 time.  I proved that our home, was better suited, and more stable, and was told by the court appointed gaurdian, basically the same thing you were.  My ex took my daugter 2 1/2 hrs away with no notice, got married to a guy she met online, and would not let me even talk to my daugter.  After having a child and the new hubby kicking her out, she had no job,  was living with her mother in a 2br room aprt with 3 kids, 2 girls 1 boy, which usually would be considered unfit due to lack of personal space for boy/girl kids, but her mom managed to buy a home the day before our court date, and signed my ex as the beneficiary if she died, and that was enough for the gaurdian to say the home was stable.  The quote that I got was, "every child needs there mother" which I replied with, "I agree but they also need their father, and I wasn't the one trying to take her away completely, and I didn't run away with her."  Look, here's what I've found, now 7 years later, and my daughter being 9.  No matter what your ex does, of course with the exception of indangering your child, DO NOT talk bad in front of your kid when you do have them, be sure to still teach your child right and wrong, and ALWAYS let them know that you'll be there no matter what, and you'll love them.  Eventually your child will realize, as mine has, what is going on.  It's astounding when an 8 year old tells you that her mother lies too much, and talks bad about you, but she knows better.  Good luck to you, and NEVER GIVE UP, afterall, it's not about you and your ex, it's about the most important thing in the world, your child!
 
January 22, 2009, 7:51 pm CST

Ann Coulter

I never heard of Ann Coulter before and haven't read her book, but from what she was saying on the show today, she has no idea what it is like for a single mother to survive and raise children.   How dare her to even speak of single mothers since it is apparent that she has never been one.   I was divorced back in the early 70's and never received a penny from my ex-husband, but I had four children to raise and so I also had three jobs, so I could keep a roof over their heads and food on the table, neither of my daughters became strippers.  What a put down for single mothers, she needs to do more research to understand what single moms go thru.    I hope she gets a lot of flak.   Thanks for the space.
 
February 4, 2009, 4:51 pm CST

Children Of Divorce

  I thought today's Dr. Phil's show could be very helpful for young people caught in between divorcing parents, and to the parents if they can set their differences aside and focus on what's the best way to go about this so we don't over traumatize our child(ren).

  I got lucky. My parents were never married and I never had to go through anything like what the young man on today's show had to go through. When my dad was around, my mom let him see me. Sometimes he showed when he said he would and sometimes he wouldn't. I've never seen my parents be in the same room for more than five minutes without arguing that I can remember. But I never got stressed out about it like the young man on today's show. Or maybe that's why I had a lot of migrain headaches while I was growing up. I certainly didn't associates my headaches with my parents and their disfunctional relationship, and I didn't think it was my job to try to mediate.

  By the time I was 15 like Matthew, I had long ago figured out not to expect too much from my father. Plus, I was pregnant with my son and my dad was sitting in prison for distribution. I had bigger fish to fry than worry about trying to have the perfect relationship with either of my parents.

  But I think Dr. Phil's advice to Matthew was perfect. You reach out. Give them a chance to do the right thing by you. And if they fail, you just got to learn to move on without them. It can be hard though, even after you're an adult. I've had to distance myself from both of my parents. I haven't spoken to my father for a few years now. I went several years without any contact with my mother and only speak to her occassionally now. I still won't give her my physical address. I do not want that woman showing up at my front door.

  All you can do is take it one day at a time, one step at a time, but keep pushing forward with your life. Some of the scars will be ugly. Old wounds will still ache from time-to-time. And set backs will happen. You just can't give up. You must endure to the end.

 
February 10, 2009, 9:57 am CST

if devorced

was very surprised to hear u were devorced is this true i know this is personnal and understand if u choose not to answer hope this is not true if so hope u left off on good terms u two are beautiful together
 
February 20, 2009, 11:16 pm CST

website

This is a great flash website. Very good to navigate, its logical.

Here in holland they broadcast the older shows, but we watch them every day.

It amezes me what some people can do to each other.

There is a lot of work for Dr. Phil.

To read the stories and all the information on this website you can get a differend look  on life.

Its not so difficult even in 2009 with the recession that the whole world is in right now.

I say listen very carefully what Dr Phil has to say, people can learn a lot from him.

 
February 27, 2009, 1:46 pm CST

Put Children First

Typically I agree with Dr. Phil and todays show has made me upset.  I am a wife of a man who has three children with his ex-wife and one with me.  We are also raising my 2 children which are from my ex- husband.  I have only taken my ex to court once to start a child support order.I have never asked for more than he can afford to pay.  However my current husbands ex-wife takes him to court for more support every year.  Today I heard Dr. Phil say if you make less the court will adjust you payments.  That is simply not true the court has stated that if you have the potential to make that amount of money it is your fault if you don't.  However his ex- does not work the one raising these kids are their father and their step dad she provides nothing in a financial stand point.  All the children are in school and she does not work.  We buy them clothing food and provide shelter when they are here. We are very bitter toward her for all she has done she continues to take and does not provide.  The worst part is her husband makes 30 thousand more then my husband and has a child which is not with her and he does not even ask for support for his child.   I feel all men should provide for their children and that is support in all manners but to bleed them dry. That is a shame. We are going back to court on March 4th because she wants more money and my husband has made 8 thousand dollars less this year and we are dreading the outcome.   We as women need put our children first and stop trying to make our ex husbands pay for the past by hitting their wallets.
 
February 27, 2009, 3:01 pm CST

about dead beat dads

i am a single father of a 13 yr daughter. my ex wife has a court order to pay $100.00 a month in child support. she has only made 1 payment in the last 12 yrs. do u think i can get the system to go after her? no they will not. i have soul, legal , and physical custody of our daughter. my ex wife has visitation rights , but does not see our daughter very often. she is living in the state of idaho, were the laws are different than those of nv. she is claiming disability through ssis and can not work. they say she does not make enough to garnish her checks , so she gets away with not paying like she should. my situation is unique, but not special. women have been raising children by them selves for yrs. im one of the few men lucky enough to raise a child on my own. but i saw the show and im outraged. they want to go after dead beat fathers, what about the dead beat mothers? just because a women gives birth to a child , doesnt mean they are in any way above the law!!!!!! any one can have a child , but it takes a real person to be a parent. the way i look at it, the system is one sided. always in favor of the mother. the system needs to change!!!!!!!!!
 
February 27, 2009, 4:28 pm CST

deadbeat dad's

Quote From: hillv38

i am a single father of a 13 yr daughter. my ex wife has a court order to pay $100.00 a month in child support. she has only made 1 payment in the last 12 yrs. do u think i can get the system to go after her? no they will not. i have soul, legal , and physical custody of our daughter. my ex wife has visitation rights , but does not see our daughter very often. she is living in the state of idaho, were the laws are different than those of nv. she is claiming disability through ssis and can not work. they say she does not make enough to garnish her checks , so she gets away with not paying like she should. my situation is unique, but not special. women have been raising children by them selves for yrs. im one of the few men lucky enough to raise a child on my own. but i saw the show and im outraged. they want to go after dead beat fathers, what about the dead beat mothers? just because a women gives birth to a child , doesnt mean they are in any way above the law!!!!!! any one can have a child , but it takes a real person to be a parent. the way i look at it, the system is one sided. always in favor of the mother. the system needs to change!!!!!!!!!
I am outrage that you only talk about the dad's being deadbeats.  I have one son who went to prison and couldn't pay child support on his two children. So his father and I bought all the cloths, shoes,, school fees and school supplies. As well as anything else the children need. Our grandson even lived with us for almost six years. But because we didn't go to the court house each time and have the money send to the ex-wife , none of this counted. We all knew the children wouldn't get the use of the money and to take the ex-wife to court would be to hard on the children.  So after our son came home from prison, he's behind on child support and the state hunts him down like a dog.   Then we have a son who's wife ran away with another man and left our son with four small children. Three girls and one boy. The girls were around four, three and two, the boy was about six months old. What aload our son had to carry but he did with our help. Our son got a divorce and was granted $67.50 a week for the four children. This was back in the 90"s and the ex wife hasn't paid much more than $1,000.00. Oh she's had jobs and even remarried, drives a nice car and eats pretty well. but the state will not put her in jail for not paying her child support. These children could use the help and this is not fair. So don't tell me that there is not a double standard in the court system.  We have it right here in our family.  You wonder why so many man are upset with the courts...This is what happends in the real world.
 
March 5, 2009, 9:29 am CST

Randy

Dear Randy,

  I was going to write this e-mail to your wife but decided that she may not understand what she has done to your family and it would be a waste of my time.

  I hope you take advantage of the help Dr Phill is offering. I was bothered by something you said. When Dr Phil said you may need to leave your marrage and you stated "I'm not a quiter" I would say kudos

 to you if you didn't have 3 kids involved. I ask on behalf of you 3 beautiful girls to think about them. If your wife wont get her poop in a pile and be a better wife you really need to think about leaving for your girls.  What are they learning in your house? Are they learning to be cheaters? Are they learning to be cheated on?  Being a single parent is very difficut. I've been doing it for years. However, I know that I did the best thing for my kids because their father was a bad influence. It gave them a chance to be happy and normal.

 My hats off to your for trying to make your marrage work. So many people just give up when they shouldn't. I'm just aking you to think of your kids.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that when Dr P does a fallow up show your wife has improved or you've got the heck out of Dodge.

Tangrocks

 
March 6, 2009, 8:07 pm CST

Deadbeat dads

I feel the woman on your show, Lis Wheel? is acting like a money hungry woman. Like many women I talk to, all they care about is getting their money. It ends up not just for the kids, but for themselves to continue living a high-end lifestyle.
I am a single parent who raised 2 children myself, with no child support. There are many resources these women can use, but don't. It makes me very angry at the women who try to take the dads for anything they can. Sure, many times I wished I had been able to get some extra money to help out also.

Thank you,

Tricia
 
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