Topic : 09/15 Money Matters: Surviving the Crisis

Not sure if you are responding to my quote or what was happening on the show....

I never, ever did a latte of any kind in my whole life and don't have multiple refi's or a mansion/lg house or a millioin pairs of shoes, or any other such extravagance.  The people on the show did, so please don't lump me in with that crowd.   What I'm trying to convey again.....is that often the answer to debt is to drop the kiddies in daycare and have mom work to pay off that debt by working outside the home.  It often costs more in the end to have her work outside the home than the original debt.......we lost money when I worked outside the home (not because I was having lattes or refinancing my home).  

The answer is not to have yet another casualty besides not paying off the debt.....the kids.  Again, my kids we miserable in daycare, they'd much rather be home with their mom.   Find some way to work at home or sell of a family heirloom to pay things off.  Whatever it takes, but don't put the kids in daycare. 

Let me give you my opinion...well, my side of the story.

I'm 25 years old.  I'm married to my high school sweetheart.  We live in NE Ohio...upon graduating high school, my then boyfriend and I both went off to college...I earned my Assoc. degree in marketing and sales management.  I didn't want to continue for my bachelors because I wanted to get married to the love of my life and live happily ever after.  Well, the wedding came and went--we had 200 people on a shoestring budget (his family is Italian, and his mom thought it was "the right thing to do" to invite all of her cousins and their kids...and so on)...My parents and his parents split the bill so we wouldn't have any debt together when we started.  My parents also helped to furnish our house with a lot of hand me downs and also purchased us a nice couch and loveseat set...my dad even surprised us the day after we moved in with a TON of groceries.  I was so so so lucky...

My husband continued taking his classes and was working 25-30 hours a week (paid internship--10 dollars an hour---mind you it was 2005 at this point...10 dollars was NOT a lot of money) and i was working 40 hours a week.  I had a relatively physical job but one day, off the clock, I bent down and something snapped in my back.  I had a slipped and herniated disc in my lower back and a buldged disc in my neck...and ooooh the pain!  Well, I just couldn't return to work and I had to quit my job...because my boss wouldn't let me return with light duty.  So here we are paying 525 a month in rent, plus our car payments totally 440...plus 200 a month in utils...plus student loans...100...plus insurance...130.  That of course doesn't include any extras like gasoline, a phone, or food.  we were pulling in like 1000.00 a month and spending nearly 1800.00 (bare minimum) to get by.  i couldn't work.  i was in so much agony and my husband was working and going to school full time--so he got a part time night job working at wendys flipping burgers (where we both worked in HS---praise the lord for friends in low places--amen!?)

but that still wasn't enough to cover the bills...so i got a credit card.  and in order to make that payment, i needed another credit card.  i was robbing one card to pay the other card.  there was no light at the end of the tunnel.  crediters were calling because i couldn't pay my hospital bill (no insurance)...and i was late paying my credit card bill...and i mean, it all unravelled.  i was paying my electric bill with a credit card, gas with a credit card...blah blah blah...

it wasn't that we were being irresponsible, we just couldn't do it.  so a few months had passed and i finally got a job working at a bank...

i wanted to make my parents proud so i never asked them for money...i couldn't even go around them because i was afraid i'd cry in front of them and they'd know something was wrong.  anyway, finally i broke down and was bawling on the phone with my parents who were out of town on a minivacation...and i told my dad that we didn't have the money to pay our bills or our rent or for food...or anything...and he asked me how much i needed and he could bail me out--like thinking less than 100 dollars...when i told him our debts totalled over 20k he was stunned.  i got a call from my mom a little later and she asked my husband and i to move in until we could take control of the situation. 

that didn't last very long...our marriage was seriously suffering...at this time we both worked 60 hours a week...we were fighting all the time...and in the time we spent there...a little less than 5 months...we had sex 3 times.  it was bad.  reall bad.

we moved in with some friends of ours, rented their basement apartment...were there 4 months...and they forclosed on their house...we were forced to move.  again.  we took a leap of faith big time, but we found a place of our own.  i got an awesome paying job working less hours...my husband got a huuuge raise at work...and not that we're out of debt by any stretch of the imagination, but we are living.  we love one another so so so much.   we've been married for 3 years and 5 days now....and haven't used a credit card for 2 and a half years....  but we're doing it. 

alls i'm saying is that it's hard getting started...even without the "extras"  i just think that maybe the goverment should instead of looking at "income" to justify help...look at debt to income.

god is good.  all the time.

You've managed to convey what I was trying to say.  Also the kids are going to be pretty disrupted by being dumped in daycare.  Why don't they do a show on what kids would prefer...being with mom or being in daycare???  Let's do a show with kids that have lived both sides of the coin and ask them (now that they're older) which they would prefer.

I became so outraged today during the show!

I grew up in a low income house and all I ever wanted was to have things when I grew up.  Well my husband who didn't grow up in a low income house wanted things too.  The first 8 years of our marriage our fights were always about money.  The difference between the couple today and us.  I refused to live outside of our means and as mad as my husband may have gotten he wouldn't go against me.  I never wanted to be poor and I never wanted my kids to grow up in a poor house.  I am a saver and a "pay it off early" kind of girl.  After many years of paying things off early and having a really small (yet had one) savings account my husband caught on and the last 11 years have been better and better.  He works many, many hours, and I started to work when the kids got older.  It wasn't always easy because we were the only one of our friends with a small house and older vehicles.  I have always played the "need, want" game,(for instance we don't have satellite tv, that is a want and a bill we don't need we get about 8 channels and if there isn't anything on we want to watch we find something else to do) and as much as my kids get tired of it they are now catching on, and are learning to work hard for their money and spend it wisely.  I really want to know after working so hard to not live like the Jones's what is it going to cost me because of the fools out there who do live like the Jones's and then have the"it's not my fault" attitude when they get in over their heads expecting someone else to bail them out????????  I feel like those who create the financial mess should clean it up themselves and not whine to everyone else about it. Also, don't expect the government or anyone else to bail them out. The government didn't get them in the mess and neither did anyone else!!! The best part of the show has been the feedback.  I always feel like we are the only ones living within our means, nothing big, nothing fancy and saving to buy even the big things in life like a new vehicle.  After 19 years of marriage I finally find out that there are others like us working to be debt free and having money left over for "rainy day" expenses.  Thanks 

I sobbed through this entire show because I am where Greg and Brandi are right now, although not as much in debt.  I lost my job in July and have not been able to find anything that pays what I was making.  I've been working as a temp making almost $11,000 a year less than I was.  I am no longer able to make my house payments, and calls to local agencies for help have gone unreturned.  Even my mortgage company said, "Call back when you've missed three payments."  I asked when they would start foreclosure proceedings, and they said, "When you've missed three payments."  So what is the point in calling them back???

My biggest question right now is what happens in the foreclosure?  If the bank takes my house and sells it for less than the amount of my mortgage, am I still responsible for the balance?  Is bankruptcy my only option at that point?

Yes, the majority of us live beyond our means.  And we pay a terrible price for it.  This is the first home I've owned as a divorced woman, and I love it...it's HOME.  And now I'm going to lose it because of a job loss and the fact that I didn't budget and save an emergency fund. 

I'm packing and trying to decide what things to sell and what to take with me to a studio apartment - after living in a three-bedroom house with a full basement!  It's painful, and I don't wish it on anybody.  And it certainly will NOT happen to me again!