Topic : 12/29 "Save My Mommy!"

Star:

     By your husband not leaving you now means alot to him. He is a wonderful man that has and will support you. Dont lose your family because of this. Seek for your faith and dont let your life change to the worst. Your daughter and huband and loved ones need you. Remember faith moves mountains and if you dont move this enormous mountain you will lose the ones you love and  love you. A day at a time and put it on Gods hands. I will pray for you and please again do it for the ones who love you, dont let them down. 

Doctor Mommy My Phil Save. Doctor Phil save your own mom yourself. I will not save your Mother at all.---

See you on Wednesday September 17th,, 2006. Sincerley Your/ Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------

How do I start this, I gew up in a home where my father was a drunk.  My mother divorced him and married years later to yet another drunk.  My youngest sister at a very young age started drinking and using drugs.  She is now 43 and has been straight 12 yrs.  My in-laws were out laws.  I had a brother in-law that sold and used drugs for years.  He is now dead and his wife is in he pen for 5yrs for using and selling drugs.  I am now raising their son a 16 yr old boy who was taken away from them because of their drug use and found he was now taking drugs himself.  I remarried my husband after being divorce from him for 12 yrs and now I am also raising his 13 yr old daughter who's mother is a drug addict. My daughter who is 23, a great chirsitian girl is now envolved with a boy who is trying his best to get off of drugs for the past several years.  He keeps going back to this thing called DRUGS.  I truly dont understand this, the devil has finally found some thing that has a choke hold on our familes.  I can say this is a choice, we make.  We blame it on the Dr,s out there but we are the ones going to and fro to as many Drs we can find in order to take the drugs.  I say we,  no I dont use but when half your family seems to live on this you become a part of it trying to understand.  My step daughter loves her mother very much its hard to explain to her that when on drugs nothing else matters.  I wish this woman could see what its doing to her lil girl. Over and over again.  My daughter has been praying for this boy to get off drugs.  His addictions started when his father decided to use ,  this was a well knowned family  in our area.  The boy is now in jail once again waiting to see what the courts are going to do with him this time.  My daughter is waiting this our praying to be lead where ever God  leads her.  All we can do is pray for our people and hope God moves on them.  Theres only so much a person can take and then we much move on.  Still keeping them in our prayers.

 By the way the borther in-law that is dead he had gotten saved 9 hours before passing on.  The mother that is in prison, is now saved also. 

I need to add to my message.  I use to work in a local Prison. Housed close to 2,000 inmates.  Many of these inmates  I'v e  talk

ked with trying to put a ray of hope in the life they now have.  I've looked into many faces  and seen that if they could do life over again they were chose a different path.  A great percent of the inmates were on drugs or sold.  Shot and killed people for drugs.  People need to wake up before its to late and they find themselves in a prison.  Its not  a fun place to have to spend your life in.  Some may think I can do this a year in the pen, but lets say you do and year in there.  When you get out you will look like you done 10yrs.  Plz dont wake up some day and it be to late for you.  There is help out there, there is people who care.

Let me start by saying that as adults we are responsible for our own actions to some extent. I am a recovering pill addict. My struggle with pill started in early 2005. I was suffering from a little depression and I went to my family doctor for help. I was put on an antidepressant and it all escaladed from there. The antidepressant caused anxiety so the doctor put me on an anti anxiety pill. it was what seemed like a never ending cycle. By 2006 I was divorced and I depended on a pill for every aspect of my lif. It was so easy for me to get the pills. I never had to buy them off the streets. I just went to my Physchiatrist and she gave me more and more and more.  I don't even know how many different medications I took but I do know that xanax , seraquel and lithium were my favorite. The xanax took over my life. I became unable to work. I was severly depressed. I shut everyone out of my life. I wouldnt leave my home for weeks at a time. My doctor knew about everything I was going through and yet she still continued to give me the pills. I attemped sucicide 3 time by overdosing on xanax and my doctor still continued to give me the xanax.  To make a long story short I stopped seeing the doctor and about 9 months ago I stopped taking the pills. It was very hard. I suffered severe withdrawl. But I stuck it out and I have been pill free for 9 months. My point is yes we are responsible for our actions. But sometimes we put our trust in our doctors because they are the professionals, the experts. When my mind was completely distorted by pills my doctor did not help me. I believe the ony reason I got off the pills is because I stopped seeing the doctor. I still suffer from depression and anxiety. I am disabled because of depression and anxiety but I am afraid to visit a doctor because I am scared to death of getting wrapped up in pills again. I lost everything. I am now married to a wonderful man and I don't want to risk losing him because of pills.

Dear Star, Isaac, and Kids, - Also Viewers and Message Board Members,

I write with prayers and encouragement for this enitre family, of which each member is very dear to me. I relocated out of state early this summer and though I visited the home once or twice a month prior due to living in a nearby community, was not aware of this situation. I stand fast in my love and support for the entire family. I am grateful to the Dr. Phil show for giving Star the best possible opportunity to recover to a life of sobriety and success which in turn will result in the best opportunity for the entire family to recover and heal together.

Having known the family for several years including as the newest little ones have come along, I can verify the love in this family will remain a powerful motivator for Star to succeed with this intervention made available to her by the Dr. Phil program. The outstanding professional help afforded to Star and the family clearly offers the best possibility of success. Added to a steadfast desire to break free of this addiction that Star will need to maintain are the prayers and encouragement of her immediate family, friends, church family, and viewers who take the time to pray. Posting positive, constructive, and hopeful messages in support of a successful outcome is equally important. 

I embrace each immediate family member for your individual honor and bravery in the midst of this incredibly challenging season. I am with you in spirit and send big hugs, love, and consistent prayers. 

To all viewers/readers: Please remember we are all vulnerable creatures in this most challenging life; . . "there but for the grace of God, go I."

Praying for Star to succeed in the treatment,  praying for strength for Isaac and each of the children would be the best contribution viewers can do. Be positive - be constructive - be an encourager! 

The reality is, we know not when we too will be pressed and find ourselves grasping and in need of help or intervention wheather a situation brought on as a result of being impacted by circumstance, or brough on by ourselves. Life is good, but it is also hard.

Thank you Dr. Phil, staff, and intervention professionals, for helping Star, Isaac, and these dear children,

-R 

I come from a loooong line of addicts and you know why I am not ? Because I choose not to be. I could drink, pop spills, smoke dope, smoke crack, snort a line. Why don't I ? Because I choose not  too.

We all have the same choice.

You know, we have all been fed the lie that we are victims. I too have gone to a doctor for specific issues and was told I was depressed and needed antidepressants. However I declined. I asked for more tests. You have to be an advocate for your own health, physical and mental. My point, is this, we all have hard lives, we all have temptations, we all would like life to be a little bit better and easier. Not everyone turns to a "mothers helper". When Star was committing burglary and adultery, stealing from family and friends for years and years, don't tell me that the pills blocked the voice in her head that says...hey wait a minute.

I know for a fact that there were other avenues for Star to go down. I know for a fact that she was offered a program for 6 months where she could take her two small children. But, no, that was too hard, too long, too private. Instead she opted to air her dirty laundry on TV as a DEFLECTION of what she has done.  There is no real repentance. She's sorry because she got caught. So to the person who "knows" the family, obviously you don't know what you don't know.