Quote From: emommyof3While I've never left my children unattended for any length of time (not even to pay for gas) and I've never given a spanking in my life.. I was a parent falsely accused. Here in Alberta, Child family services isn't actually required to charge you with any crime to take your children away from you. A spiteful neighbor, or horrific controlling former spouse, not only do you never get to know who accused you, you have -no- way of defending yourself.
My story:
I had my first daughter when I was 20 years old with a man with whom I'd been engaged to for two years and with for over four. It was far from a fairytale, he was emotionally abusive and rather controlling, but nothing that struck anyone around me nor myself as being dangerous. After my first daughter was born, I unfortunately found myself pregnant again right away and the very next year I had my second daughter. It was after she was born that I started to notice a distinct change in my relationship. He would cut off the electricity if he called and I wasn't home, he would threaten to refuse to pay the bills if I went anywhere but my parents house to visit. I was medicated for depression and basically lived life as a quiet mouse afraid to step out of line. Just after my younger daughter turned two, things got rather bad, our relationship was in tatters and I was finding out that he hadn't been paying ANY of our bills and collectors were banging down the doors so to speak. He was a truck driver, so one day when I was getting ready to drive him back to his truck my eldest daughter (now 3) had a mini meltdown because we were leaving her with a sitter to take "daddy" to work. My husband gave her her very first spanking.. because she was crying! I was angry, hurt and most of all scared. He could punch walls, throw things at me and call me whatever he wanted but to hit a toddler for crying?!?! It was too much. After dropping him off in silence, I called my mother and made arrangements for the girls and I to go to their house. I left him that day. Court dates and missed visitations, lawyers and the hell that is divorce insued for the next few months until one day I get a call saying Child welfare has taken my children from a sitter (one of his friends parents) for suspicion of abuse. According to CFS, they were apprehended on an emergency basis while I was in class (i had returned to college to finish my degree and provide better for the kids) because they had "Diaper rashes" and "odd bruising". This is a fairly important point to note as no pictures of this "bruising" have EVER been presented to anyone. AND under the canadian laws of child protection HAD I neglected the children to cause such rashes and beaten them to cause bruises I would be guilty of neglect and abuse under the canadian criminal code. NO police were ever called, NO charges ever layed, and NO investigation ever made into my home. The only "investigation" done by child family services was to ask my ex husband and his family/friends questions and go on "hunches" of the social workers (at the time not required to have anything more then a basic 2 year diploma certificate from community college)
Through the next three years I used every moment of every day, and every cent I had (which wasn't much) to fight the aligations made against me in family court. They moved from "neglect" to "emotional abuse", to "sexual abuse" to "emotional neglect" and back and forth through the next years. My children were kept away from my family, I was only allowed to see my children in supervised visits at the office, while my husband (who openly admitted to hitting the girls, me and emotionally abusing us all) got free access and the children were placed in HIS friends mother's home. I was portrayed as satan incarnate who would rather sacrifice children then take care of them. At no time was any "proof" brought against me, all was heresay and aligations made by my "ex" and his family.
In the end, CFS approved the move of my girls to my ex's MOTHER's care AND their subsiquent removal from the country itself to the USA. There they also approved an adoption to the grandparents and all without my knowledge. A psychiatrist spoke in court about how she couldn't determine if the emotional trauma the girls suffered was from my hand or the fact they were taken from me so suddenly, but that moving them around so much when they had only ever known a home with me was so traumatic that if they were moved back into my care it would harm them Perminantly. The judge left me no choice but to A) give up the fight to get them back, or B) continue to fight and proove that I didn't care about the girls at all.
So under the permenent guardianship order, I had my children LEGALLY kidnapped, and I couldn't even go to the press. The truth is, they said that I was "histrionic" and if I went to the press it would proove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was simply seeking attention. So I kept quiet, who would believe a child abuser?! Except I'm not... I was a level 1 daycare worker working with small children EVERY DAY, under CONSTANT supervision by CFS themselves in the daycare where I worked. I found out after that our government funds CFS baised on the number of children in their care, and so they target newly single mothers with low income because they know the best we can manage is a weak legal aide lawyer.
My children were taken at the ages of two and three, and this christmas they are seven and eight years old. They have a baby sister, she's two now.. they've never met her, nor my new husband and his kind kind heart. They've been told by their grandparents that I beat them up and I'm dead, My parents were allowed to see them for awhile... so long as they never told the girls 'who' they really were, but that ended when his parents had the bank foreclose on their house. I tried very hard to keep track of them, even with them being in the USA and my court order to never contact them... For all we know now, my children are on the street because the bank repo'd their house. I still cry every night, its almost worse then loosing a child to death, because there is no end to the pain of knowing they are out there somewhere, they probably hate me, and they will never know the truth. And I was just told last week that if I wanted to reopen the case, I could because no criminal charges were ever filed... I want to so bad, but how would I ever explain all this? How do you tell your child your sorry for not being allowed to be there?
It doesn't matter where you live, or what you do or don't do... Its not just the bad guys stealing our children, its our own governements. Makes me sick to think I actually pay taxes to fund my own childrens suffering.
I am at a loss for words as I read your story. I am so sorry to hear that. I pray that your girls will find their way back to you somehow, whether that's by your own doing or not. Take care. It breaks my heart to hear tragedies like this.
(Original Air Date: 09/18/08) Could you be guilty of abusing your child and not know it? Where are the boundaries when it comes to parenting? Treffly is a mom of three who never thought she would be accused of breaking the law. But that's exactly what happened when she left her daughter in the car to do an errand just 30 feet away. Treffly's case sparked a flurry of opinions and heated debates across the country. People in the community and a criminal defense attorney weigh in. And find out what Dr. Phil thinks about Treffly's encounter with the law. Then, Lynn says her biggest regret is leaving her daughter alone the night the 13-year-old died. Find out how a false allegation landed her behind bars. Her conviction was overturned, and Lynn became the first woman in U.S. history to be cleared by DNA evidence. Hear how the truth came to light and what life has been like since she was released from prison. And, hear about Lynn's son, Ed's, experience growing up in foster care as a result of his mother's incarceration. What can mother and son do to rebuild their bond? Find out what you can do to improve the lives of children in the foster care system. Plus, don't miss the steps you need to take if you're wrongly accused of a crime. Join the discussion.
