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Topic : 12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Number of Replies: 476
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Created on : Friday, September 12, 2008, 01:20:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/08) Could you be guilty of abusing your child and not know it? Where are the boundaries when it comes to parenting? Treffly is a mom of three who never thought she would be accused of breaking the law. But that's exactly what happened when she left her daughter in the car to do an errand just 30 feet away. Treffly's case sparked a flurry of opinions and heated debates across the country. People in the community and a criminal defense attorney weigh in. And find out what Dr. Phil thinks about Treffly's encounter with the law. Then, Lynn says her biggest regret is leaving her daughter alone the night the 13-year-old died. Find out how a false allegation landed her behind bars. Her conviction was overturned, and Lynn became the first woman in U.S. history to be cleared by DNA evidence. Hear how the truth came to light and what life has been like since she was released from prison. And, hear about Lynn's son, Ed's, experience growing up in foster care as a result of his mother's incarceration. What can mother and son do to rebuild their bond? Find out what you can do to improve the lives of children in the foster care system. Plus, don't miss the steps you need to take if you're wrongly accused of a crime. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 18, 2008, 1:24 pm CDT

Slightly Different question

My wifebrought our newborn baby into bed with us.  Now six years later, I still can't get him into his own bed without her sleeping with him.  Needless to say this has created a great strain on our marriage.  I told her that if the situation was reversed and a grown man was known to be sleeping all night with his six year old daughter he would probably be arrested.  At least two professionals have advised her to get the sleeping situation worked out but she seems unwilling or unable.  Can anyone tell me if this is considered abuse and what I should do to protect my son, stabilize our family life and get our marriage back on track? 
 
September 18, 2008, 1:24 pm CDT

I Don't Think She Did Anything Wrong!

I don't think this mom did anything wrong by leaving her toddler in the car where she was warm and comfortable.  In fact, it sounds as though she was thinking of her child's comfort as well as safety.  What was she to do? Drag her out into the cold? Or, tell her older children, "No, you can't give money to the Salvation Army!"

It sounds to me like the only trauma came from the police officer who was yelling at this woman and berating her in front of her small children.  Competent professionals are trained to minimize the discomfort  and stress to children, not maximize it by carrying on that way.  Certainly it must have frightened these children to think that they could be separated from their mother!

It's sticky because there are probably many parents who could not make these judgment calls.  Clearly, this mother could and she behaved sensibly.  SHAME on the people who falsely accused her and persecuted this innocent and obviously loving mom! 
 
September 18, 2008, 1:24 pm CDT

use your head

Quote From: marl7900

It is never, ever okay to leave your kids in the car alone. I don't care if it's for a minute, second. Get your lazy butt out and take your child out with you.
So you seriously wouldn't get out of your car to put a letter in a mailbox?  Please explain to me what could possibly happen if they are strapped in a car seat.  Maybe a meteor will fall on the car and crush it.  Do you not return your shopping car to the cart corral after you have loaded up your groceries?  What if you had to change a flat tire on the freeway in the rain?  How many inches away from your car is acceptable to walk?  By your definition it might not even to get out and pump gas.  And it might not even be safe to exit your car just to walk around and remove your child from the other side.  I'm sure there are a million other chances you take every day that are much worse.  Just putting your child in the car and driving them somewhere is risking their life.  It's not lazy, it's common sense and practicality and I have enough sense to make that decision for myself.
 
September 18, 2008, 1:26 pm CDT

Parents Falsley Accused

Are you kidding me, this woman wouldn't walk 2 paces around her car to put mail in the box.  Certainly you should never leave your children unattended in a car in a parking lot, etc., but to walk around the front of the car to the mailbox, give me a break. is she living in the real world.
 
September 18, 2008, 1:26 pm CDT

She wasn't falsely accusded!

 Dr. Phil you havent mentioned that a child can " choke" while mom's out of the car.  You mentioned getting out of the car to put a letter in the mailbox. How many policeman have been hit and killed just getting out of their patrol car?  What if something happened to Mom herself that she wasn't able to get back to her child for some reason?  I witnessed a woman that parked in front of a shoe store and left her baby in a carseat while she shopped. I called the police and this woman saw me on the phone and came screaming at my truck window to " mind my own business" not a word had been exchanged so out of seeing me on the phone she assumed that i was calling. So i told her " your baby could choke to death while your shopping!!! 

Why didn't this woman leave one of her oldest children with the baby? Why didn't she just pull up to the salvation pot and have the oldest put the money in the pot?  Or if the salvation army person was there they would have put it in there.

In my opinion she didn't have a good enough reason to leave the child because she took the other kids with her. If the child is too much work then stop getting pregnant!

 
September 18, 2008, 1:26 pm CDT

CASA

I am a volunteer coordinator with a local CASA.  I can only encourage everyone to consider volunteering with CASA.  These children need someone who will speak up for them and give the voice of reason in the court.  Our volunteers make sure that everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing for that child.  We bring common sense to the courtroom.  My personal motto?  "Enough is enough"
 
September 18, 2008, 1:27 pm CDT

woman who was falsely accused with her daughters murder...

I find it hard to believe that a mother would have to endure this type of treatment.  What the HELL is wrong with everybody ??? Why is it so much more important to find a scapegoat than it is to find the real killer ??? Just so the figures look better ??? Law enforcement should be held accountable for this unbelievable conviction of an innocent victim, ALONG WITH THE PROSECUTING ATTORNEY THAT PROSECUTED HER... The police chief is disgruntled because she was vindicated ?? He should be tarred and feathered  then put in prison in her place, and serve the remainder of her original sentence...Doesn't evidence count anymore ??? I am so pissed... righteous indignation on behalf of this family... not to mention the young mans experiences...i would babyset the neighbor's dog, gladly, and treat it with more respect and dignity than he has been shown...Please let him know that I appreciate his service and sacrifice for our country...and after he was abandoned by the same country and left on his own as a child..Absoluetly unbelievable...I sincerely hope this family has hired a top notch attorney, and sues the ever-lovin pants off of everybody responsible for her conviction, then goes back and sues the pants off of every individual involved civially for millions of dollars, and sincerely hope they get every cent they are asking for, and more..I know that will not make up for the pain and frustration they have had, but it would make ME feel better on their behalf....I would like to add, Dr. Phil, and Robin, that your selfless promotion and support of CASA is indeed a wonderful testament to humanity as a whole... You people are what is right with America, and for someone with your clout to asupport such a worthy cause is indeed an act that makes me proud to be an American, and VERY proud to know that you strive to  make a difference in our community, our state, and our country as a whole... Thank you from the bottom of my heart...Tony
 
September 18, 2008, 1:27 pm CDT

Only 2 hands

I have twin boys.  I definitely do not think it is ok to leave your child in the car alone but I have no choice at certain times.  I only have two hands.  It would be more dangerous to try to take both of my boys out at the same time and carry them than to leave one in the car and run one in and then go get the other one when we get home.  I think we all just need to use common sense and weigh the risks.  I think we all know when we need to be critical and when not to be.  This situation is not near as bad as a lot of situations that arise everyday!
 
September 18, 2008, 1:28 pm CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Is it neglect or abuse to leave a child unattended in another room of the home for more than 2 -3 minutes?

 
September 18, 2008, 1:28 pm CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Quote From: tonyfan

I have 3 children - now 22, 20 and 16 and never once did I leave them unattended in a car. 

What has a snow storm got to do with leaving your child, that you chose to bring into this world, in a car by themselves.

You chose to have the children, so "running around with a baby and a toddler " is something you should have been used to doing.

Do not play God with your childrens lives - never leave them in a car.

22, 20 and 16 huh?  Sounds pretty easy.  You had one in school all day by the time your youngest was running around.  Little ones always have their own agendas.  How sad for you to judge others when you have never been in their situation!
 
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