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Topic : 12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Number of Replies: 476
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Created on : Friday, September 12, 2008, 01:20:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/08) Could you be guilty of abusing your child and not know it? Where are the boundaries when it comes to parenting? Treffly is a mom of three who never thought she would be accused of breaking the law. But that's exactly what happened when she left her daughter in the car to do an errand just 30 feet away. Treffly's case sparked a flurry of opinions and heated debates across the country. People in the community and a criminal defense attorney weigh in. And find out what Dr. Phil thinks about Treffly's encounter with the law. Then, Lynn says her biggest regret is leaving her daughter alone the night the 13-year-old died. Find out how a false allegation landed her behind bars. Her conviction was overturned, and Lynn became the first woman in U.S. history to be cleared by DNA evidence. Hear how the truth came to light and what life has been like since she was released from prison. And, hear about Lynn's son, Ed's, experience growing up in foster care as a result of his mother's incarceration. What can mother and son do to rebuild their bond? Find out what you can do to improve the lives of children in the foster care system. Plus, don't miss the steps you need to take if you're wrongly accused of a crime. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 18, 2008, 1:31 pm CDT

Give me a break!

Quote From: marl7900

It is never, ever okay to leave your kids in the car alone. I don't care if it's for a minute, second. Get your lazy butt out and take your child out with you.
At no time was her child hurt or in danger!  She was only 30feet from her car.  She could see her child in the car and was only a second away.  I would like to see if you would take your sleeping child out in sleet, to walk and quickly drop something off.  She never went inside a store where she could no see her child.  There are child abuser out there getting away with hurting their children but yet people are more worried about a child being left in a car in her mothers sight!!!  Over reaction by people is what tis situation was!
 
September 18, 2008, 1:33 pm CDT

Many Moms Guilty

Im sorry - but almost all the mom's, dad's and another other care-giver in our town (and most likely country wide) could be found guilty or accused of child abuse based on the circumstances surrounding the accusations against today's guest! In a realistic world - many people leave their kids in the car for a minute, 2 minutes...whatever.  And most people do so in a responsible way - the vehical left running, windows open, seatbelts on, within eye sight, and for short moments to name a few! I do not believe for one moment any person who says they would unbuckle their sleeping baby while they got out to drop a letter in a mailbox just feet away from their vehical!  I also feel very confident in my decision making with raising my children - so leaving them buckled in their seat (my children are 4months and 20 months) while I run into a store with their DVD player running for a total of 3 minutes - I am confident that that doesnt make me an abusive parent.

There is a difference between leaving your kid in the vehical as I describe above and the person who left her child in the car for 9 hours in the heat......lets be realistic when it comes to child abuse accusations!

 
September 18, 2008, 1:34 pm CDT

Why do children falsely accuse their mothers

 

 I have been wondering why children falsely accuse their mothers of abusing them.

Then when the courts clear the parents-they keep on accusing her,

To top that off their older sister started dropping slurrs about her doing the same thing to her.

 

What does the parent do to clear herself.Do you know of any recourse that is available

to those in Canada that have been falsely accused.

 
September 18, 2008, 1:35 pm CDT

Abuse? Really?

While knowingly leaving your child in the car to run INTO a business for a few moments is a truly idiotic move and could result in your child being kidnapped, I don't agree that it is a criminal offense.  Forgetting your baby in the back seat of your car when your spouse usually takes your child to daycare is horrible, and a parent would have to live knowing they killed their own child should be criminal and is completely different than a concious decision that affects less than 5 minutes of time.

 

However, both pale in comparison to the family courts who knowingly place a child in the home of a father who is sexually molesting her, as is the case with my goddaughter AND one of my daughter's friends and her younger sister.  Why is the family court commissioner not held responsible for promoting the sexual assault of a child by giving the molester custody and primary placement?  Fix the whole system, and make it right for the kids.

 

 
September 18, 2008, 1:36 pm CDT

whats a mother to do

as a mother of a toddler, almost 19 months old. I do sometimes leave me child in the car. but only in these situations, never anything else. Unloading my groceries at my first floor apartment, my daughter stays in the car approximately 10 feet from my sliding patio door. Paying cash at the gas station. I move my car and park it directly in front of the stores front doors, and the pay fast and get back to my car. I also occasionally buy pizza from papa Murphy's and anybody who has ever ordered there you take and bake. i pre order my pizza walk in and pay and leave because there would be no way of carrying a pizza sometimes 2. and holding my daughters hand. these are the only situations in which i leave my daughter locked and safe in the car. And I agree with the lady at walmart for what she did, it was the right thing to do in that case.
 
September 18, 2008, 1:36 pm CDT

Falsely?

I've gotten angry watching Dr. Phil in the past but nothing has made me as angry as watching that arrogant b---h who left her child in the car!! How could she NOT know it was wrong? She is demanding an apology? What if someone had rear ended her car? What if someone had smashed the window and snatched her baby?  Could she have run thirty feet in time to stop them? Doesn't she understand that it takes only an instant for tragedy to happen? She should be thanking those officers for giving her a wake up call.

 

What angered me most was her obliviousness to what could have happened and her insistence that she was the injured party.

 

We pay a great deal of lip service to our love of children in this country, there are great debates about the rights of the unborn and then we treat out children like trash. I don't understand.

 
September 18, 2008, 1:38 pm CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Quote From: kristipas

I am shocked at how judgmental these people are being.  According to them I should have my child taken away because I go pay for gas while my 2 year old is FINALLY asleep in his car seat.  I can't imagine a single thing that could happen to him while he is locked in a car, asleep and strapped into a car seat for a minute or less.  Unless there was a bad guy waiting to break open the window and steal a 2 year old the second I stepped out of the car.  I bet it would take him longer than that to figure out how to open my complicated carseat straps and I am just not that neurotic and paranoid.  And the woman who said she wouldn't get out of her car to put a letter in a mailbox while her kids are in the car?  I don't even know what to say about that.  She obviously has a lot of time on her hands.  Arresting that woman was a waste of taxpayer money and police time that should be used on real criminals.  Why don't they go around arresting people who smoke in their houses?  I've never heard of that happening.

RIGHT ON!!!!  I agree 100%.  I have left my child in a LOCKED car in her car seat w/ the car running while I took a shopping cart to the stall or to pay for fuel.  Some people should stop being so quick to judge.  Every case should be looked at individually.  If you have a question, call the police and wait with the car and time the parent.  And on a final note, make sure you're slate is clean, who knows when something you are doing may be the next judged and condemed wrongfully........

 
September 18, 2008, 1:39 pm CDT

Lesson Learned the Hard Way!

I am mother of 3 and a grandmother of 5 and thank God my children survived me.  Once when living in Sandy, Utah when my son was about 2, I put buckled him into the car seat.  In those days, we put kids in car seats in the front seat.  The car was heated up and running in the garage as we were having a terrible snow storm.  I forgot something like his bottle and ran back into the house to get it.  I was gone one minute if that.  He hit the door lock.  The car was running.  The only other key to the car was with my husband out of town on a business trip.  I called the police and told them my son was locked in the car and they didn't even respond.  They told me to call a locksmith.  It was so horrible experience.  I still get sick to my stomach thinking back on how both he and I sat there crying until a locksmith could get there. 
 
September 18, 2008, 1:39 pm CDT

Shopping Carts ~ What's the Protocol?

I'd like to hear Dr. Phil talk about this a little more.

I was one of those people who always put her shopping cart back until I had a small child.  Now, I must admit, if I can't park right next to one of those shopping cart rack things, I just leave the cart in front of my car.  I would rather do that than to traipse across the parking lot once again with a toddler in tow.  And, I don't want to put him in the car and leave him long enough to put the car back even when I can see him the whole time.

Now that he's five, he can walk with me to put the cart back.  However, if the parking lot is really busy, I must admit, I don't even like doing that, and I'll just leave the cart in front of my car and hope it doesn't roll away. 

As a stay home mom, I have the luxury of shopping when the supermarkets are least crowded, and, I park right beside one of those metal shopping cart contraption things whenever I can. 

You must understand, it BUGS me to not put a shopping cart away.  I'm creating more work for Kroger's.  However, there are times, especially when my son is really tired of the store, when I feel more comfortable just getting him to my car as opposed to either a) leaving him in my car and putting the cart away; or, b) navigating him across a busy parking lot where there are a lot of cars pulling out.

My son is five years old and 70 pounds ~ he's very tall and big for his age and he's already started playing football. :)  He's remarkably strong for his age (he's playing defense). He's generally well behaved and he knows about cars and he knows to stay with me.  In fact when I think about it, I'm really pleased about the astonishing amount of common sense we've managed to instill in him so far. My husband can pick him up and swoop him up if necessary, but not me.  It hasn't been necessary, thankfully, but I still have that in my mind as I go through parking lots with him which is why I keep that kind of traversing to a minimum (especially when I consider certain variables, like, my son is getting tired and restless, he's moody, etc.).

Still, sometimes I've had second thoughts about the carts I've left, especially on a windy day.

I know I've explained myself ad nauseum.  I guess I didn't realize what a sensitive issue it was for me.
 
September 18, 2008, 1:42 pm CDT

It's really not a good idea

As a former law enforcement officer I want to tell you of my experience with leaving a child in the car.  My dispatcher radioed me and informed me that there was an accident involving a child, a house and an automobile.  Injuries unknown, code 1 (meaning lights and sirens, critical call).  My thoughts went directly to what I might possibly come upon.  I prayed for the unknown child asking God to please let it be ok.  I have two kids myself.  When I arrived on the scene I could not believe my eyes.  A Surburban was partially inside a garage, the wall of the garage had collapsed on top of it and it had also hit a Cadillac which had been parked in the garage.  Oh my God I prayed as I exited my patrol vehicle, please help this child.  To my complete amazement and otter relief, the mother approached me and was holding the child.  He appears to be ok, though I radioed paramedics to come and check him anyway.  He was crying and had a scratch on his face.  The mother explained to me that she had been parked in the driveway across the street.  She left the child strapped in his car seat with the engine running because it was cold and he was sick.  She had only ran up to the house and was getting medicine from her mother for her child.  Apparently he undid his car seat, took the vehicle out of gear and applied the gas.  He actually put the car in reverse, went across a fairly busy one lane street, up the neighbors drive and took out most of their garage and a cadillac.  The paramedics checked him and he did go to the hospital, but is ok.  Thank God.  My chief told me it was up to me to handle this case.  I did not bring charges against the mother, she clearly learned her lesson and did pay for the damages.  But this could have been so much worse.  Please don't leave child unattended in an automobile.  Thanks,  Valerie
 
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