Message Boards

Topic : 12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Number of Replies: 476
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 12, 2008, 01:20:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/08) Could you be guilty of abusing your child and not know it? Where are the boundaries when it comes to parenting? Treffly is a mom of three who never thought she would be accused of breaking the law. But that's exactly what happened when she left her daughter in the car to do an errand just 30 feet away. Treffly's case sparked a flurry of opinions and heated debates across the country. People in the community and a criminal defense attorney weigh in. And find out what Dr. Phil thinks about Treffly's encounter with the law. Then, Lynn says her biggest regret is leaving her daughter alone the night the 13-year-old died. Find out how a false allegation landed her behind bars. Her conviction was overturned, and Lynn became the first woman in U.S. history to be cleared by DNA evidence. Hear how the truth came to light and what life has been like since she was released from prison. And, hear about Lynn's son, Ed's, experience growing up in foster care as a result of his mother's incarceration. What can mother and son do to rebuild their bond? Find out what you can do to improve the lives of children in the foster care system. Plus, don't miss the steps you need to take if you're wrongly accused of a crime. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 17, 2008, 5:51 pm CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Quote From: amyaaron86

 Hi Dr. Phil;

   I had my 9 year old daughter and 3 year old son taken from me on 1986, I had left them  to play

with other children with a 14 yaer old baby sitting while I ran to the store. It was in may of that year

so it stayed light out side later than i the winter. Well I was gone for not more than an hour, and when

I returned there was a card from the local police department. So I called to see what had happened,

and the mother of the other children was busted for credit card fraud, and when they came to pick up

her children they took mine also, the officer said that they had already been placed, it was about

 7:30, but he said I should not have any problem getting my kids because I was not involved, but he

said I would have to wait until the next  day to pick them up. Well I tell you that was the longest night

in my life. The next morning I did not bother calling CPS I just went there expecting to pick up my

children. Well when I got there this woman had talked to my mother, whom we are not close at all.

  She started acusing me of all these crimes I supose to have done, all I had was a ticket for driving

with out my licence in posseion, which I had just not with me. I could not believe it was the worst night

mare in my life. My kids were my life. And from that day on I lost my kids just on faulse accusations

from my own mother, she even got up on the first court hearing, and told the judge she did not want them

but she did not want  me to have them either. To this day I have not talked to my mother.

I had my son taken from me 2 years ago.  I did nothing wrong!!!  I was fausley accused of hurting my son wrist.  No, I made him do his homework and that was it.  I got arrested the next day, but nothing came of the arrest.  My son was put in the system till my brother got him.  I brought my pastor and the latch key worker of the private school to the courts, and they would not listen to them telling them they were the last ones to see my son and also his teacher and principle.  I dropped my son off at school on a Friday and never saw him again till recently.  My son did not have a mark on him.  My niece told me just recently she helped Clark put the marks on him.  They had the system down pat.  I agree my son did not get along with my now ex-husband.  But, I volunteered at the school to help pay for his schooling.  I did my best to keep him out of public schools.  Now my son has fessed up and wants to come home, and that means I have to get a lawyer.  I'm 50 years old, I am on disability and my SSI check is $772.00 a month.  My rent is $650.00 and I have to juggle rent and utilities.  I have to have a room mate to make it.

Please if you get this Dr. Phil I can pass any and all drug test you can put out there for me to take, I just need my son home!!!!

 
September 18, 2008, 1:31 am CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Who among us has never left our child unattended for 4 minutes?  Which child is safer: The sleeping girl belted into her car-seat while her mother walks 30 feet to drop coins in a kettle or the child left watching Dora while mom is around the corner cooking a meal?

 

At least the child in the car seat is belted in.  The kid in the front of the tv can wander around & potentially get into all kinds of trouble.

 

I think that sometimes it is smarter/safer to keep your child belted in.  I saw a moving car crash into a bike stroller just yesterday (Thankfully, all of the children were okay.)  But it was a stunning reminder that accidents can happen ANYWHERE.  Being with the mother is no guarantee that the child is more safe than in the car seat.  And if the mother is attempting to navigate a parking lot during bad weather with 3 other children, belted into the car seat of a non-running vehicle just might have been the safer choice. (As long as the child is within sight, of course.)

 

Exit question:  Which was more traumatizing?  Mom leaving the sleeping child in the car that was in plain view or having 4 children watch their mother be hand-cuffed & taken away in a squad car?

 
September 18, 2008, 1:46 am CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Quote From: snoopy28173

I don't think this mother was falsely accused.  The fact is she left her child in a car alone.  It only takes a second for something horrific  to happen.  Even if she could still see the car there was no excuse.  How long does it take to get your child out of the car and take with you?  How long does it take to "heal" a devestated child or family?

"Something horrific" can happen anywhere.  I actually saw a car hit a stroller just yesterday (thankfully, all of the children were okay.)

 

This child was sleeping, while belted in a locked car.  Heat/suffocation was not an issue.  The mother was within sight & 30 feet away for no more than 4 minutes.

 

What exactly do you imagine might have happened?  Do you worry that the car may have been hit by another vehicle?  That can happen at any time . . . and I submit it's safer to be hit while belted into a carseat within a car than to be hit while sitting in a stroller or merely being held by a mother.

 

Since the vehicle was not running & was locked, I don't think theft or mechanical misfunction were likely, and if someone were attempting to break in, the mother was within sight & could react immediately, just as she would if she were in the vehicle & being carjacked.

 

Since the child was belted in, if she DID wake up, she could only get into what was within reach.

 

I'd really like to know what tragedies you imagine might occur here & fairly compare them to the potential tragedies of walking amid a car lot with 4 itty-bitties.

 

And I'm curious if your own child/children has ever gone more than 4 minutes without direct supervision.  If not, when do you sleep?

 
September 18, 2008, 5:28 am CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Quote From: allmychildren

After working in the court system and for private attorneys, it is unbelievable what people will do.  Any one can file a complaint, criminal or civil, against anyone and say whatever they want.  It does not matter to some people what being "under oath" means or they just do not care.  It can be devastating. 
I can not believe how easy it is for someone to walk in and falsly accuse someone of something and it leads to a road of investigating by DCF and it can be heartbreaking and life changing when you are not guilty. I have had it happen and thank god my situation was unfounded. all was dropped but when it is done to you it opens your eyes to what can and could of happend in one bad momment in life.  
 
September 18, 2008, 5:54 am CDT

3 1/2 year old dies in parked car!

Dr. Phil, Our 31/2 year old son died in a parked car. The doors were open, two grandfathers were 10 steps away. They could hear the movie playing on the DVD while my son sat in his booster seat to watch a movie while waiting for lunch. He was not in a public place, he was in a drive way to a vacation property. No one noticed when he took the seatbelt and wrapped it around his neck. The seatbelt tightened and it cut off his airway. He hung himself in our car. This happened in less than 10 minutes. This happened with two adults watching the car. The car was within eyesight. Yet the vehicle had tented windows. Thus obstructing clear view of him. There have been other instances of this happening. One to a young toddler while the car was moving! Her mother was driving. She fortunately did not die because her sister warned her mother that her sister was turning blue. Another time it happened to a young boy when his parents were unloading the car at a vacation house and the boy wanted to finish watching a movie. He managed to get the seat belt wrapped so tight around his waste he could not breathe. His mother cut him out with a butcher knife. Cars are dangerous, they are deadly even when not in motion. We as a society use them as an extension of our home. We eat, sleep, watch TV in them like we are in our living room at home. We need to educate people that this is not appropriate before another child  dies. We as a family have made this known to our friends and anyone we meet that we can tell them about what happened. If we see a child in a car left alone, we wait to make sure they are O.K. before we go into a store. We do not want our son's life to be in vain. We live with the pain every day. We miss him so much.
 
September 18, 2008, 6:39 am CDT

Parents

Where has common since gone...? This has caused more damaged to the child watching her mother being arrested...!!! than being left in the warm car asleep...(PLEASE) How many PPL keep the children beside them to return a shopping cart to the rack? How many children get up before the parents and play?
how many children play in a back yard..!!! come on...the moment we blanket one thing we have a real problem...!!!! I dont need the law to tell me how to raise my child.... Because whos watching there KIDS.?
How many children have died in washing machines or fallen in a toilet....!!! Or even a mop bucket. Lets leave good mothers alone and go ahead and catch them purse snatchers ...
 
September 18, 2008, 7:00 am CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Quote From: martinhouses

Dr. Phil, Our 31/2 year old son died in a parked car. The doors were open, two grandfathers were 10 steps away. They could hear the movie playing on the DVD while my son sat in his booster seat to watch a movie while waiting for lunch. He was not in a public place, he was in a drive way to a vacation property. No one noticed when he took the seatbelt and wrapped it around his neck. The seatbelt tightened and it cut off his airway. He hung himself in our car. This happened in less than 10 minutes. This happened with two adults watching the car. The car was within eyesight. Yet the vehicle had tented windows. Thus obstructing clear view of him. There have been other instances of this happening. One to a young toddler while the car was moving! Her mother was driving. She fortunately did not die because her sister warned her mother that her sister was turning blue. Another time it happened to a young boy when his parents were unloading the car at a vacation house and the boy wanted to finish watching a movie. He managed to get the seat belt wrapped so tight around his waste he could not breathe. His mother cut him out with a butcher knife. Cars are dangerous, they are deadly even when not in motion. We as a society use them as an extension of our home. We eat, sleep, watch TV in them like we are in our living room at home. We need to educate people that this is not appropriate before another child  dies. We as a family have made this known to our friends and anyone we meet that we can tell them about what happened. If we see a child in a car left alone, we wait to make sure they are O.K. before we go into a store. We do not want our son's life to be in vain. We live with the pain every day. We miss him so much.
Im so very sorry you lost your son. But Children die every day in homes  beds... bathrooms while mothers and fathers make dinner chase another child.  This is why we call them an accidents . But we can't take one horrible accident and make every parent pay. They deserve to be able to choose for themselves how to raise there children...Don't get me wrong.. It is a thin line.     some people should not be raising children.
With you all I see is a very Loving Mother who wanted to make her child happy. moms leave children watching DVD's all over the house ... it still could have happend inside... AGAIN I am sooo sorry about your Loss...

 
September 18, 2008, 7:25 am CDT

Common Sense

Where is the world has common sense went too? Of course children have died by being left alone in a heated car. This seems to be another situation where a buraucratic person with a little athourity became void of common sense and over used or abused her authority. She could have admonished her and looked at the situation and applied some common sense. Thank you.
 
September 18, 2008, 7:35 am CDT

I am so glad we live in a perfect world.

I want to say WOW. Where did the bubble come from? I would hate to be around when your bubble pops. What happened to the days when you could trust people and monsters weren't lerking around every corner. I don't think she did anything wrong by walking away from her car and was only 30 feet away. Come on. Your telling me that's dangerous. I have done it and see tons and tons of parents do it everyday. I see them even walk further than 30 feet and have their cars still running when its cold. Nobody ever calls the cops or screams child endangerment. We as people need a big wake up call. We are going down hill fast. Pretty soon we are going to expect our children to walk down the sidewalk wrapped in bubble wrap. My goodness. Are we becoming that vain? Are you telling me our parents did a horrible job when the raised us and let us just be kids? Are you telling me that we live in such a dangerous place that we all need to become bubble people? Yes there are dangers in this world there is no denying that but come on we need to wake up and also see there is good in the world.
 
September 18, 2008, 7:43 am CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

I do believe we should ere on the side of the child.  However, please consider that removing a child from their home sometimes does more damage than the abuse itself.  We should use common sense and a lot of discretion
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next | Last