Topic : 12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Dennis

    I am so glad to see someone tell the truth I like you wrote Dr. Phil about my son and my grandson. My son was taken and put into foster care they realized they made a mistake after the governor told them give her back her son. While they had him in foster care he was molested and beaten everyday and now he is dead and I still can't even get the name of the man who did it to him DHS won't tell. He could still be out there as a foster parent but nobody will stop him. Now my grandson has been taken for The Adoption Incentive Bonus Program and since the passed the updated version of the law today he is now worth twice as much as when they picked him up we will never get him back now. Like you I have also written Dr. Phil and like you no answer.

I sadly missed the show but heard the story in the news. The only question I have for Treffly is, "was this a special trip just to donate the money or were you already shopping but the money was in the car"? If they were already in the store then why not just bring the child w/ you instead of buckling in the car seat & leaving in the car? If it was a special trip why didn't you drive up to the bucket & park right in front of it, get out w/ your kids & get back in after the money was deposited? The downwfall to the majority of these situations is that there are money "options" to choose from & too many times people w/ wild emotions wanting to be heroes & save a child who needs no saving get involved.

Here's my other persepective. What about parents w/ disabilities where leaving the child in the vehicle for the errand where the car is in site is the safest option for the child? Yes, I have a disABILITY that leaves me being a one handed parent. Because I knew I'd encounter situations where I couldn't handle my son & what ever else I was doing I had an autostart system installed on my car so I could lock it yet leave it running w/ the AC on. If I knew my errand would take too long I'd take him in. If I knew the car was in sight but yet felt I couldn't dart to it fast enough if someone tried to break in, my son came w/ me. But now the autostart comes in more handy w/ him as a toddler. He can dart out into a parking lot faster then you can blink. I can't press him between myself & the car as I'm opening the door as I'm in AZ & you can literally fry an egg on a vehivle in this heat. He's finally cooperating w/ wearing a harness which is becoming helpful in fewer & fewer times of leaving him but I even get dirty nasty looks from people when I utilize that.

Point being, some people ARE making the safest decision for their & sadly lots are making the decision out of pure laziness. If I had 2 good arms & hands to get my kiddo out of the car & hold onto him with he'd never stay in it. But honestly, is it worth risking him darting in front of a vehicle when I release his hand to open the door to put gas in my car?

I actually had aconversation w/ a firefighter about this once. I had parked my car at the curb & ran in to the place of business to pay my bill. I was maybe 15 feet away  if that. The firetruck parked behind me maybe 20 sec after I was in the store. Not a minute later I was done & heading out. He stopped me & lectured me about my son in the car. After he finished I asked if I could explain my sitiuation & get his personal & professional thoughts on the situation after. As we leaned on my car I ecplained my situation & he decided to do a couple of strength tests on my hands (like they do to accident victims & what not to help determine injury levels) & was surprised to learn I can't even make a fist/grasp w/ my one hand & my other is a lot weaker then normal do to a lifetime of overuse. He understood then that I truely do not have the strength to properly hold onto my son & that using my autostart & leaving him locked in the car strapped in his car seat is surely the safer choice in some situations.

Yes. and if someone got in and drove off with her kids, then what? 

What in the world did she have to do that was that important?  Put some change in the Salvation Army kettle?  That couldn't  have waited for another day?  You have to do the "what if" scenarios because you will not get a second chance to do it another way if things go wrong. 

     I wood like to know how the state compensated the woman for 13yrs. in prison?

Do NOT tell me that "ANY mother should let her child be further than arm's length away." Oh, please.  That means she'd have to have ALL her children under foot while cooking at a hot stove. That means she could never make love to her husband b/c the kids would always have to be in bed beside her.

 

I'm sure you now want to correct yourself and say, well, duh, I meant only out of the house, only in public. That means a mother of three or more small kids has to squeeze all her children into a stall at the public bathroom if one child (or she) has to go pee. I can think of lots more lovely scenarios, but I hope you get the message that I think you have got to show more sense before anyone will take you seriously!

I think a lot of people only think that nothing can happen to a child in a car while they are away for only a few seconds.  However, something happened in our area that can make you look at this another way.  What if something happens to YOU while you are running to do something, even if you are close to the car and can see it?  What if you fall and have a head injury?  What if anything happens to you and you are not able to tell anyone you have a child in a car?  People are only thinking about the child being safe for a few seconds or minutes, when in fact, that can turn into hours or days if something happens to you.  People think it can't happen, but it can.  She should not have left a child unattended.

Dr.Phil showcased Lynn, the woman who spent 13 years in prison, and was then released after DNA showed that she did not kill her daughter.

I have some familiarity with this case and I am disappointed that Dr. Phil did not tell the "whole story". he did not reveal the conditions in which Lynn was raising her children, nor did he discuss her character. That is unfortunate because there were other violations, besides the murder.

The program only revealed items that would tend to induce sympathy for Lynn. It is true that she did not kill her child.....but there is much more to this story. It would have been more ethical for the show to tell the whole story.

Otherwise, I am a fan of the show in almost all cases.

Thanks.

Accused Falsey Parents Phil/Robin. Doctor Phil have your Mother ever accused falsey leaving you in the----

car? I thought not. See you on Thursday September 18th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------

I am a 35 year mother to be who has taken care of children since I was 12 years old.    As the responsible adult, I am expected to know right from wrong and make the proper judgement calls.   I know it is wrong to leave a child for a long period of time in a car unattended.   No matter what the weather is etc..  But I see where this woman did nothing wrong! She was close to the vehicle, she was being responsible with her other children,  And she was aware of her surroundings.    How many of you let your 2 year children play in a separate room while you are housecleaning, talking to your husband, changing another child, preparing a meal?  If you drag your child to every spot you are at so you can have them under your eye, when are you going to start teaching them responsibility, independence for when they go to school, how to self-entertain when you are busy, etc??? 

 

Many people today are stupid about rules and child well being issues,  and that is why we have kids who can't tell right from wrong,  be alone in a house when they 14 years old.  There is a right and wrong to this issue but some of the self righteous out there need to get their heads back on top of their necks and not where they are stuck up now.   Boneheads!

Treffly should never have been arrested for child abuse or anything.  While I do not beleive you should leave a child in a car while you go in somplace I saw nothing wrong with what this mother did. She got out of the car, locked it and was within sight of it to put money in a outside container.  This was a ridicilous situation. Not only did they traumatize her but her children also.  Some people are to quick to judge and if the security officer was so concerned with the childs safety she should have stood by the car for the few seconds it took to put the money in instead of making such a big deal out of it. 

 

And for Lynn, she should be compensated for what they did to her.  Although nothing in the world can make up for the lost time with her family. I mean this poor woman had just lost a child to murder, and was pregnant and her whole life was shattered.  I wish Lynn and her family all the best of luck.