Message Boards

Topic : 12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Number of Replies: 476
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 12, 2008, 01:20:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/08) Could you be guilty of abusing your child and not know it? Where are the boundaries when it comes to parenting? Treffly is a mom of three who never thought she would be accused of breaking the law. But that's exactly what happened when she left her daughter in the car to do an errand just 30 feet away. Treffly's case sparked a flurry of opinions and heated debates across the country. People in the community and a criminal defense attorney weigh in. And find out what Dr. Phil thinks about Treffly's encounter with the law. Then, Lynn says her biggest regret is leaving her daughter alone the night the 13-year-old died. Find out how a false allegation landed her behind bars. Her conviction was overturned, and Lynn became the first woman in U.S. history to be cleared by DNA evidence. Hear how the truth came to light and what life has been like since she was released from prison. And, hear about Lynn's son, Ed's, experience growing up in foster care as a result of his mother's incarceration. What can mother and son do to rebuild their bond? Find out what you can do to improve the lives of children in the foster care system. Plus, don't miss the steps you need to take if you're wrongly accused of a crime. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

December 21, 2008, 1:08 pm CST

Adbused parent

I was a newly single mom of three childern  living in public housing. When my youngest son was 3 years old. I gave him a bath put clean pajamas on him and put him in bed with his favaorate toy. I woke up about 5 am thinking something is wrong. I went to my childern's  bedrooms and noticed he was missing. No knowing where he was  I got dressed and walked around the complex. I saw a plice and not wanting to interfre with what was going on with that I walked across the street looking for my child.  I came home and called the police. It turns out the police had my child in that car I walked around. They had found him playing on the the playground. I was told he was placed in a foster home and I could not have him back in my home until I installed a lock that he could not reach I had that lock on the door by 9 am. I was then told he would be returned to me within 24 hours. Later that day they sent the police to give me a warrent and they inspected the house to see that the lock had been put in. That evening I got my child back. He was not wearing the pajamas I last saw him in. I never got thouse back they had dressed him in differant clothing. gave him toys to bring back with him. He told me he had fun, even tho I was upset that he had done that. I went to court without my child. I was crized for not bringing him with me. They had interveiwed the day care I used. My apartment manager, my instuctors at my college. They knew my grade point average and my attendence record at school. I never gave them permission to invesigate me that way. The judge agreed it was simply a matter of the child walking away from the house to play outside. Then they tried to say he was in the foster care home for 4 days before he was brought back home. I fought it becasue I was not going to have anyone say I was not a fit parent. They said they needed the record to say that so the foster parents could get paid for opening up thier home to him. I won that one. About two weeks later social workers came to my house they told me I had to let them in to insect the house or they would file charges against me. My childern where napping and I refused to wake my child so theycould have him show them how he opened the door to leave the house. I asked them why would that be important I told my child not to undo the locks or leave the house without me and I was not going to give him permission to do so. They said I might want to get a job as a babysitter someday . I was studing Microbiology when they came in the house did it look like that was my aspiraations.?? Then my child went to school learned he had a right to his body and no body could tell him what to if he did not wnat to do it. When he was about 11 years old I found out he was skipping school I slapped him for lying  the next day I was arressted at my place of employment . I agreed to go to counciling and I learned to trust e myself with this child. When he was 17 he came into the kitchen and told me he will cut himself with the knife he was holding and he would have arrested again becasue I would not let him go out with his freinds. When he was 18 I asked him to leave he had gone so far out of hand I could not trust him in my home. We went ot counciling so he would know that he was at fault and he had to be accoutable for his actions. I saw my son today he lives in a shed somewhere. He does not not have a job. I bought him a meal and he will spend Christmas with me When the system thought they where saving a child they where abusing me and my right to parent. The other two childern. One is a electirian and loves his work the other a Officer in the Air Force.  Some might say two out of three ant bad.
 
December 21, 2008, 2:55 pm CST

I fully believe it

Quote From: motherof21212

First of all I am aware that bad parents exist, and that we all make mistakes.  The division of good human behavior and questionable human behavior is a given. 

 

With that said I am convinced that a large percentage of our Judicial System uses our children to generate revenue. My experience with Judges, State Programs, Case Managers, Counselors, Attorney's and many other participants has been that they seek out the opportunity to remove children from perfectly fit homes to bring them into the system.  They know parents will not give up.  We will spend our last penny to prove our innocence, but most importantly, to have a relationship with our child.  They know that we want to parent our children, keep them safe, watch them grow, and so much more.  Therefore, they prey on us and in the end our children lose.

 

This knowledge invokes a feeling of shame on our country.  Pray for the children, send your blessings to them, or whatever your faith has taught you.  I believe that good will prevail and that large voices will disclose what is occurring to our children.

 

Thank you, once again, Dr. Phil and Production.  Thank you for shedding light to those who are unaware of this avenue to exploit our children for the sake of financial gain.

Those running the country no longer work for us they work against us.  They steal our money and give it to themselves and there corporate criminal friends.  They are the ones who belong in jail, not children.  
 
December 21, 2008, 8:12 pm CST

SINS OF ABANDAMENT

Quote From: robin457

we recently saw on the news that a school teacher left her child in the car and it died. the baby sat in the car seat for 9 hours. then last year a vice principle of a well to do school left her child in the car. she even went outside to move her car closer to the school so she could get the doughnuts from the back of her suv. then she got back in and moved her car again. i hate to say this. both women were not charged. i am sorry but i raised five children and i never left them in the car for anything. i was always afraid that they would knock it out of gear or anything. i don't see how anyone can forget thier kid. i don't care how busy you are. if you can remember the doughnuts you can remember the kid. anyone else had done this they would have been prosecuted ..hung out to dry..i am sorry that thier children died. but, i cant see how they could forget.

1980's in Brighton, (My Past Family Friends) women left her 2 year old daughter and 5 year old son in the vehicle outside in the middle of winter.  While she run into the house to get something she had forgotten her purse when she was inside she answered the phone call that was ringing she spoke for a few minutes.  While her children remained outside without adult supervision for appropriately ten minutes when she did return outside she found her daughter died, as the two year old had crawled out of her child booster sit and out of the car went to around to the back of the car to get her mother but never made it.  As, at the same time the little girl reached the back of the car her brother put the car into reverse and run over his little sister's head instantly killing her.  Unfortunately the mother came outside too late and had to remove the car's wheel from lying on her daughter head. 

 

Comments - This terrible accident could have been prevented and was a very high price to pay for a quick convenience as a result the parents ended up in a quick divorce, and the mother and son's relationship became estranged, the family had to move out of the area very quickly as the neighbourhood made it impossible for them to stay, particularly her.   The house and parking lot was too difficult for the mother to past by or to see it for her as the pain of losing her only daughter was just too painful.

 
December 22, 2008, 6:33 am CST

Trelly is NOT abusive.

Just one question for all the people who think this is abuse...how many feet away from your child are you when you sleep at night where walls, stairs, hallways block your vision?

 

 

 

 
December 22, 2008, 7:26 am CST

leaving 10 yr and 12 yr old home alone ALL DAY--Is this OK??

Is it lawful in the state of NC to leave 2 elementary age children 10 yr and 12 yr home alone all day so the parent can go to work, run errands, go to friends home....etc?
This occurs when the children are home from school during the summer months as well as school days where school is closed for holiday, workday etc.  Also these 2 children are dropped off after school hours by other parents of the school.  They are left at home until parent arrives home from work.

Is this lawful in the state of NC?
 
December 22, 2008, 7:36 am CST

I don't believe she is abusive

I caught the a bit of the show, but not the whole thing.  One thing I didn't see addressed is fathers.  Take for example a father in a car and he has a flat, and can fix it himself.  I know some women can fix tires, but they usually wait for assistance.  Now if a man got out of his car to fix a flat, does this constitute child abuse, because he has left that child in the car.
 
December 22, 2008, 7:38 am CST

Things that you have to be careful doing!!!

I think that you have to be very careful with your children and that is a fact.

Now a days people are always watching and could think just by looking at the situation could be dangerous for the child not knowing where the parent is and that is a fact.

 

I am just thinking of the most recent case with Caylee Anthony look what happened to that innocent child and could very well happen again and that is a fact.

 

Children are gift from GOD and that is the way they should be treated all the time but unfortunately they are not and that is so sad.

 
December 22, 2008, 7:45 am CST

Dr. Phil's Contradiction

I'm a little miffed about Dr. Phil's contradiction on this show.  Just a few short months ago, he had Lenore Skenazy on, the reporter that had her 9 year old safely ride a New York City subway (and lived!! *gasp*), and Dr. Phil was of the opinion that yes, we do indeed live in a safe society.

 

Statistics prove that our country is as safe, if not safer, than the early 70's.  The difference?  Seven twenty-four-hour news channels that sell blood, not love.  Every teeny tiny bad thing is highlighted, exaggerated, and replayed again and again until one is almost forced to believe a child molester lives behind every tree, and a murderer lurks in every shadow.

 

It's simply not true.

 

We have scaremongered ourselves into not only looking behind us everywhere we go, but severely stifling our children - no freedom, no independence, no privacy, no imagination, no experience, no education.  We must let go of this constant fear. 

 

Your child will not be kidnapped if left in a vehicle for 2 minutes.  Nor will he be molested if he plays in the back yard unsupervised.  Nor will she be murdered if she rides her bike down the street without a parent helicoptering them. 

 

I for one am so blessed to live in such a safe society, and my children reap the rewards.

 
December 22, 2008, 9:40 am CST

It is Too Much and Too Little

Quote From: pearamedic

First the case worker accused me of biting my daughter when a child had bitten my daughter.  At the hospital, I was told by the police officer that child welfare had been called and would be investigating the matter as well.  However no case worker ever showed and the officer seemed to be handling it.  It was only later that I learned the child welfare worker said she had gone to my house, looked around, and spoke to me.

 

I have plane tickets and hotel receipts to show I was not home.  So she could not have gone in my home and spoken to me.  So her report is false!   Last I heard she is still a case worker!   She should have been fired if not arrested so making false reports.

 

My old neighbors had a newborn and during the dead of winter had no electricity, no running water, and conditions I wouldn't put a rabid animal in.  Despite several calls from myself and neighbors no one came out.  Yet my friend had her kids taken away over night because her ex made an accusation and they realized that night it was false but waited until morning to return them!  We'd hate for case workers to have to make a drive to return children to their home rather then get their beauty sleep.

 

Our child welfare returned a child to a mother who showed she could not be trusted with a child and the child was beaten to death not to long after.  A mother was given a child after leaving her child in a truck stop for hours.

 

If a child is hurt and as you said there is nothing for Child Welfare to investigate but law enforcement sees it fit to look for other forms of abuse, should Child Welfare not be involved rather then passing the buck of Maybes to law enforcement? 

 

Since you worked for child welfare for 15+ years, have you ever apologize for the to the parents/guardians who were accused of abuse that Child Welfare determined to be false after causing the heartache and headache of being investigated?

I live in New York City.  Everyday you read the paer, there is a story about a child, found dead, or severely injured, where the family had been investigated by Children's Services, MULTIPLE TIMES, and deemed the cases "unfounded". 

Then you read where parents are TERRIFIED to bring their children to the hospital, due to a legitimate accident, as the hospitals, in looking to cover their as*, are likely to report the parent as an abuser.

Common sense has gone out the window...children DO get bitten, and the MOTHER is NOT the one at fault, in the majority of cases.  It usually IS done by another child...some children do bite.

Caseworkers are in no position to make these determinations, as is proof by the number of mistakes made every day.

I agree...get RID OF THEM, and call the Police.  THEY seem to have the expertise, along with the common sense to act within the scope of reason.

I'm finished raising children.  I had three, my youngest will be 19 in Jan.

Were I to be in a position of starting off today, I'd think 1,000,000 before I'd put children, or myself in the New World of "parenting".

 
December 22, 2008, 10:03 am CST

12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Cars are carjacked in a matter of seconds. I always err on the side of caution where my children are concerned. All it takes is a moment of distraction and you are on T.V. begging some maniac to bring your baby back. I see lackadaisical parenting all the time. In a crowed mall parents have their children tagging along behind them. I makes me angry. Our rule is stay where I can see you, within reach, and if it is crowded you hold my hand. I think every situation is different. I did not read anywhere whether or not she locked the car door, or if the car was left running. If that was the case then she made herself and her child an easy target for tragedy. There is no way she could have stopped anyone from stealing her car from that distance. If it is inconvenient to do something when you have your children with you find another time to do it, or do the job you signed on for no matter how difficult, and drag their little behinds with you. I think the police would have served her better if they had told her how much time it takes for someone to take off with her car and child and warned her.  All that being said I do not believe she is a bad mother, and bad things happen no matter what you do.
 
First | Prev | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | Next | Last