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Topic : 12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

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Created on : Friday, September 12, 2008, 01:20:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/08) Could you be guilty of abusing your child and not know it? Where are the boundaries when it comes to parenting? Treffly is a mom of three who never thought she would be accused of breaking the law. But that's exactly what happened when she left her daughter in the car to do an errand just 30 feet away. Treffly's case sparked a flurry of opinions and heated debates across the country. People in the community and a criminal defense attorney weigh in. And find out what Dr. Phil thinks about Treffly's encounter with the law. Then, Lynn says her biggest regret is leaving her daughter alone the night the 13-year-old died. Find out how a false allegation landed her behind bars. Her conviction was overturned, and Lynn became the first woman in U.S. history to be cleared by DNA evidence. Hear how the truth came to light and what life has been like since she was released from prison. And, hear about Lynn's son, Ed's, experience growing up in foster care as a result of his mother's incarceration. What can mother and son do to rebuild their bond? Find out what you can do to improve the lives of children in the foster care system. Plus, don't miss the steps you need to take if you're wrongly accused of a crime. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 25, 2008, 9:37 am CST

12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Quote From: tiff84

I am sorry, but leaving your car to walk 30 feet is no different from any parent who sits on a bench in a playground and watches their child play 30 feet away from them. I do not believe parents should leave their children to run into ANY building, but if it is something like running a few feet to a mailbox and returning directly to the car, I really do not see how that is any more potentially harmful than letting your child play a few feet away from you in a playground. Like the police officer said, things like this should always be looked into, but they clearly went too far. Not every investigation should lead to an arrest. These people were just out for the kill because they clearly had no real crimes to investigate.
'Every' is too broad a term to describe anything or anyone. When I take my children to the park I do not sit on a bench. I sit on the edge of the sand box with them. If it is inconvenient to take them with me I find another time to do it, or I wait until my husband and I can do it together.  I have never stepped off a curb without looking or signed anything without reading it. I have never left my child alone for a second in public, so please do not lump us all together. If something had happened to that child she would crucified for being neglectful.
 
December 25, 2008, 12:38 pm CST

Child servises overzeles

I have to sadly say that i know many people who were falsly accused of abuse, when they wre a happy and healthy family.

When i was a teen my parents had friends, who were wonderfull people.( i remember the falmily) Where acussed of abuse becuase a relitive didnt like that they where home schooloing. The duaghter was taken away and put in homes where she was abused, beaten, and raped. how haert renching to be the parent who gets a call from your child begging you to come kidnap them from abusive foster parents, and hear your childs agony and not be able to do anything.

I know people who want to be foster parens just for the money. I have turned parents who smoke dope and drink with their eight year old children, in to dhs. And NOTHING. They are still with dope head mom.

I have had people retaliate,because some worker told who reported them, and had the worker come to investigate the reporter of abuse.

I have tried to report an abusive father and had the worker ask for the moms info ( didnt even know the mom and parents where seperated) And worker insisted he needed to investigate mom because " Moms are usally the abusers"(quote)

Dhs is being sued here in Tulsa , because of the children who are falsly removed and then go through abuse at foster homes, because of ovezelous case workers, and neglgent workers who leave children in the real abusive homes.

It is out of control..Something needs to be done about a defective system..What it realy is, is parent control system.

 
December 26, 2008, 12:32 pm CST

Brainwashed kids

Dr. Phil:  I can perfectly relate to the parents who are being accused of abusing children.  I know my husband is suffering from parental alienation syndrome.  He was accused, by his son of abuse when he was little and the children's bureau found the allegations unfounded.  In the 8 1/2 years I have been with him I have seen so much..the kids deny every wrongdoing their mother has done.  He and I are being made out to be the bad ones but their mother and her family has always tried to manipulate what goes on when they are with their father.  We are currently being drawn into another court battle over his boys.  We don't speak we get accused of being ignorant, we do speak, and they twist everything we say  They take it out of context and twist it for their mothers benefits.    those boys blame us for everything and their mother can do no wrong.  Those boys seriously need to see a psychiatrist!
 
December 26, 2008, 12:42 pm CST

12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

 

 

I am in hte same boat.  My exwife had my daughter say that I sexually abused her.  I have taken a polygraph adn passed.  I have had both of my kidstaken away for nothing.  I had two counselors testify on my behalf.  I have not seen my daughter in three years.  My son is worse off now in hte care of Dss than he was with me.  Can someone help me?

 
December 26, 2008, 3:15 pm CST

12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

 my boyfriend has a 18 year old daughter who ex wife would not let him see her since she was 10,she bad mouth the man , she re married . she inrolled the daughter in school and medical in her new husbands name the courts said the girl has to go by her fathers name , the mother ignored this , when he would try to see the girl there was consit problems , even with police escorts . spikes laid across  roads and such , he was even told he should give it up , that he didnt know who he was dealing with that his  exs new father in law was on a hill with a rifle , with the sights on the fathers head. but  still he kept fighting for his daughter and always payed child support always. then the ex wouldnt let him have any contact with the girl when she was ten . they went to coutr again and the judge said she was in contempt but he would do nothing to her and didnt want to see them in court again.now the daughter wants nothing to do with him. went to court to get her mame legally changed . he foult it and lost . still trys to talk to his adult daughtetr but shee wants nothing to do with hin says other guy his her dad. her mom is still in the background when he trys to talk to her and tells her what to say.help us , what should this good man do he loves his daughter , but she is so brainwashed . yes he is not perfect made misstakes but he would be a great father , his daughter needs him , iwas abused and in my mind this girl has been abused also out of hate and spite, thanks
 
December 28, 2008, 1:47 pm CST

parents falsely accused

 

you are giving bad advice, the authorties are not your friends, tell everyone you can.

 

the government is out of control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
December 29, 2008, 12:41 pm CST

12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

I was absolutely outraged at watching the first part of today's show!!  I am a mother of two who has left my kids in the car before.  Just like the guest on the show, it was only for a couple minutes and the car was within 15 feet of me.  I can not believe that police officers would actually arrest a parent for this!! 

 

Besides being a mother, I am also a teacher who has had to report children and their parents to Child Protective Services (CPS).  In every incident, I have watched helplessly as the parent goes on being the child's caregiver without ever being arrested!!  One incident that truly broke my heart was when the child's mother came into my classroom and was clearly strung out on methamphetamine.  Police and an ambulance came to the scene and took her to the hospital, where she was tested for drugs.  The test came back positive for methamphetamine.  She stayed overnight in detox and when she was released, no charges were brought against her and CPS never took custody of the child!!!  Of course, three days later the child was withdrawn from my class and they moved clear across the country (I'm sure the mom was afraid because we were on to her).  I still think about this little girl to this day, and I just pray that she is okay.  Why was nothing done on such a severe case as this, but they arrest someone for something so petty as leaving their child in a car for a couple minutes within eyesight?  I am baffled and upset as to why this country and its legal system is so backwards and continues to fail us...

 
December 29, 2008, 11:09 pm CST

In Awe

I am watching a re-run of this episode. I absolutely cannot believe what some people are saying in response to this. I am a mother of three beautiful children whom I treasure with all my heart. I would never leave my children in the car for very long periods of time, but I do not take my children into the gas station to pay for gas, run into the house when I forget something, grab the mail after coming home, etc. It's just not a very reasonable act to try to carry a two-year-old, a car seat, and hold on to a five-year-old's hand while trying to perform all these tasks. I especially would not risk their health by getting them out in the cold weather. They are safer in my van than out in the cold. I question whether or not the people angered by these actions have many children of their own. If they did, they would realize it is not something that is reasonable. I love my children and I would NEVER put them in any significant danger. If I can see my children, they can see me and they know everything is alright. Get real people.
 
December 30, 2008, 6:22 pm CST

12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Quote From: newmankitten

Dr. Phil:
The problem of people leaving their children in their cars, somehow got out of hand several years ago here in Kelso, WA.  My husband, Mayor of Kelso at the time, stepped in when the local police force and the City Attorney couldn't come up with verbage that made sense on this issue.  My husband, then finishing out about 25 years of work with juveniles, knows kids all too well, not to mention the role of parenting.  This is the law that was created to address the situation, and we understand that other locales have adopted it verbatim.  It makes so much sense, it's scary it's an issue.  Here is the law, as written into the Kelso Municipal Code:
Chapter 9.52
UNATTENDED CHILDREN IN VEHICLES*

Sections:  

9.52.010  Children unattended in a vehicle.  

.  

9.52.010 Children unattended in a vehicle.

Every person having the care, custody, or control, whether temporary or permanent, of minor children under the age of eight years who shall leave such children in a stopped or parked vehicle unattended by a person twelve years of age or older shall be guilty of an offense punishable as provided in Chapter 1.40 of this code. For the purposes of this section, a person shall be considered attended if the person charged with attending is within sight of the vehicle and within a distance where sounds from the vehicle may be heard. (Ord. 3372 § 1, 1997)  


This is a smart law, every state , county and city should have this law.
 
January 2, 2009, 4:39 pm CST

leaving kids in the car

Quote From: bcanen

I am watching a re-run of this episode. I absolutely cannot believe what some people are saying in response to this. I am a mother of three beautiful children whom I treasure with all my heart. I would never leave my children in the car for very long periods of time, but I do not take my children into the gas station to pay for gas, run into the house when I forget something, grab the mail after coming home, etc. It's just not a very reasonable act to try to carry a two-year-old, a car seat, and hold on to a five-year-old's hand while trying to perform all these tasks. I especially would not risk their health by getting them out in the cold weather. They are safer in my van than out in the cold. I question whether or not the people angered by these actions have many children of their own. If they did, they would realize it is not something that is reasonable. I love my children and I would NEVER put them in any significant danger. If I can see my children, they can see me and they know everything is alright. Get real people.
I went to the bagel shop in our town on two occasions just to drop something off (NOT to stand in line and order bagels).  The first time, I left the kids locked in the car and strapped in their car seats.  I never left sight of the vehicle and was never more than 20 feet away.  The second time, I thought I should bring them in, NOT because I thought they were in danger, but because my friend did the same thing and some people had commented on it (she doesn't have tinted windows).  As I was strapping in my four year old, my two year old had gotten away from me and I found him behind the van and almost in traffic.  So I think they were much, much safer strapped in the car.  People do not take circumstances into account when they judge.  I am an intelligent person and I love my kids.  I don't just pull up to a truck-stop right by the interstate and leave kids in a running car.  I take everything into account - the weather, the location, etc, and -  and I always watch the car.  I don't leave other peoples' kids in my car.
The woman on the show could have put her kids in more danger had she woken up the two year old and struggled to the door of Walmart carrying a groggy two year old with two or three other kids in tow.  They could have been run over for that matter, or kidnapped - how helpless she would be with all those kids.  Should she have been arrested for being outnumbered in a parking lot in the dark with young kids?  That sounds MUCH more dangerous to me.  
 
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