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Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

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Created on : Friday, September 19, 2008, 05:26:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Original Air Date: 09/24/08) Do you have a friend or relative whom you've lost all contact with or have never even met? While you may dream about a reunion being a great and healing experience, reconciliation could also cause more heartache than you expect. Catherine was raised by her mother, never knowing who or where her dad was. She recently became a mom, and her desire to find her biological dad became top priority. When she did locate him, was the reunion all that she expected? Next, Angel has been trying to reconnect with her twin sons, Tylor and Taylor, for almost 20 years. With the help of Troy Dunn, a professional locator and host of the WE TV show The Locator, her dreams came true. See how the boys react to reuniting with their biological mother. And, when an adoptive mother finds out her children are going to meet their biological mother, emotions can range from joy, to tension, to feeling threatened. Follow the journey of the twins' adoptive mother, Ruth, as she shares her experience of  meeting Angel. Plus, the twins have never met their little sister face to face. Will this be the day? Then, Ricardo contacted Troy to help him find his brother, whom he had never met. Cameras follow their emotional first meeting, and find out the unexpected person who shows up. Have the siblings been able to maintain their relationship? And, if you're trying to find a long-lost loved one, you won't want to miss Troy's top tips for conducting your own search! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 26, 2008, 7:43 am CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Quote From: manofgoods

I fully agree with you. I just think that she came off as a spoiled brat, & now that she has found her father, I think that she's planning to use him to support her financial needs. Come on, Catherine. What does your father owe you? Absolutely nothing! He didn't even know about you! Where is your baby's father? Why can't you go & find him & get him to pay up for child support? You made your bed, & now it's time for you to lie in it & take responsibility for your actions. I also think that I would do a paternity test to make sure that he is really her father. You just don't go, find someone you love after for so many years, & then act like he (or she) owes you this & that. Grow up.

 

As for the other segments, I am so happy that the birth mother has found her twin boys & that they're finally reunited, as well as the other guy who was on the show today. God bless you, & always, keep in touch with each other. 

go read the message posted by wjulian21. and you will know where her sons father is
 
September 26, 2008, 7:55 am CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Quote From: scottmichael74

I couldn't help but be angry with the first girl that was on the show..  I mean, it seems like the whole and only reason she ever actually got in touch with her biological father was because she needed money!!  My mother had to give up her daughter for adoption (way before my brother or I were born).  They reunited about 15 years ago, and unfortunately my sister seems to have the same attitude that Katherine did on the show.  That my mother owed her everything.  Did you notice that Katherine stated that she realized how much she really needed her father after HER child was born??  That she couldn't imagine any one else going through her "Hard" life?  Well, I didn't see a wedding ring on her finger (not that that really matters), but not even a mention of who HER child's father was??  I honestly don't know what she went through growing up, but cmon, we all have our problems growing up, so boo hoo.  It looks like she didn't make the right decisions these past few years, and now feels that her father (who also just found out about her) needs to pay for her mistakes?? NO WAY..

 

I am a single dad, and my daughter is the greatest thing that ever came into my life.  Financially it can be tough, but I sure as heck don't expect anyone else to bail me out, or point the finger.

 

Katherine with her crocodile tears was in my opinion not on the show because she wanted a loving, physical, emotional relationship with her father, but instead just wanted a meal ticket, and what better way to try than to write such a RIDICULOUS letter to her father that she did.  She should be ashamed of herself, and realize that not that she is a parent, she has to take responsibility.  Good things (if your sincere) come to you if you do the right thing.  I don't blame her father for not coming on the show.  Especially after that letter.  I'm sure if she was rich, she would care less.  I hope I'm wrong, but it certainly didn't seem that way.

 

 I think that what the rescue guys dad said was perfect.. That if it weren't for his son being born, his son would not be able to save other lives.  Basically that his mother could have chosen to have an abortion but chose not to, and because of that, there is a good man out there saving lives. 

 

Katherine, be happy and grateful that you are alive and well and have a beautiful son.  Stop being materialistic and BE HAPPY that your father actually came and met you.  I couldn't imagine how I would feel as a man if I found out I had a child (woman with a kid).  If you want to be angry with someone, be angry with your mother for him not being there.

 

Good luck and God Bless You..

read the message posted by wjulian21, may answer a few ?'s
 
September 26, 2008, 8:05 am CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Quote From: shorelady

After watching Catherine on the reunion show, I got the feeling that she was looking to her biological father only as a "cash cow".  One of my immediate questions was where is her own child's biological father.  Well that question was answered in one of the earlier posts here.  If this poster truly is the father of Catherine's child, then I fail to see what the problem may be regarding her terrible situation.  She may not be living in the lap of luxury, but it does seem that she isn't as bad off as she wanted everyone to think she was.  I got the impression from the beginning of her interview that she perhaps was a bit shady.  Gee, I thought Dr. Phil thoroughly investigated his guests on the show before they appeared.

 

My other question was where is Catherine's mother through all this and why didn't she tell Catherine who her biological father was?  Could there be a chance that this man is not really her father?  Have they done any testing to prove he is?  Did Catherine's mother simply pull thename of a former "acquaintance" out of a hat and told Catherine this was her biological father? 

 

Maybe it's just me, but there seems to be too many unanswered questions here. 

truly i am who i say i am.
 
September 26, 2008, 9:52 am CDT

WW11 baby

I read with interest all of the messages about reuniting with lost parents; none however addressed service personels forgotten unwanted offspring.  First let me say your elected officials can and will help you have military records opened, in my case they even acted as the middle person in connecting with my three siblings still living in Ohio. 

Nothing can prepare you however for the absolute rejection and for the horrible feeling you get when you are denied and refused by the family who happened to be blood relatives.  War time romances seem to a kind of "don't ask don't tell" deal guarded by the goverment and expected of by the miltiary.  The children of these one time couplings are left hanging by the fathers and as in my case a constant reminder of infidelity. 

I wish shows like this where more realistic about what happens in real life instead of the loving emotional  scenes projected by tv shows. 

 
September 26, 2008, 7:22 pm CDT

I wish I knew my father:

You know, I can relate to the lady who never met her father.  I am a 60 year old mother of 3 and grandmother of 6 and have never met or even known my father.  My mother told me I was the daughter of one of two men that she was dating at the time I was conceived.  Both men were supposedly around me when I was a small child, but when I grew up they both left.  I never knew either of them and only knew positively one of the men's name.  This man was the alleged father of my younger siblings and I don't know if they are my real brothers and sister or if they are just half.  The other man left and my mother never heard from him again.  The man who is stayed, eventually left and married and started telling everyone he never had any children.  I have always had a burning to find out which one was my father.  I know the only way I can do that right now is to have a DNA done with either of my siblings.  If it shows they are not my full blood brothers and sister, then I know my father was the other man who left.  I have no idea how to contact him because I don't really know how to spell his name because I don't know if my mother is pronouncing it correctly.  I guess I'll go to my grave with this mystery and my children will never pursue it either.  The young lady made all the emotions come back when I seen the show.  I wish her good luck and a whole lot of blessings. 
 
September 26, 2008, 7:56 pm CDT

your a good Dad

Quote From: wjulian21

I am the father of Catherines son and despite what some of may think i take care of my son daily. my son lives with me, same as his mother does. I work full time and do everything a father should do for his child. I put a roof over his and her head, so when people want to judge based off of what they seen on the show they need to get all the details first. The issues with her father are completly seperate from how i am as a father and what i do for our child!!! Do not every think that i dont take care of either of them cause i have and i do everyday!!!!!! Respond if you like, but don't confuse me with the shows topic, i've been there since day one when it comes to our son.

I never questioned the Dad of the baby in this. I agree that is is not to be enmeshed with Catherines and her fathers issues, it is seperate, as it should be.

I also read a post from some one who stated that catherine does not work, and you are the sole bread winner of the family? In these times of economic hardship that is tough! i would hope that maybe Catherine would be willing to get a part time job to help with the bills?

I understand that it can be tough for mothers to leave their babies in the care of the fathers while they go to work, but millions of women and men do it every Day.

I am not going to go into what i thought of Catherines behaviors, attitudes and beliefs in regards to her Dad as i already posted what I thought.

What I would like to say to you though, is i wish I had a Dad like you when i was growing  up...

But, i didn't and after 19 years had passed and i found my father, for me I wish I would have kept fantasy Dad, thank goodness that your little guy will never have to go through what so many children do.

Any way god bless you and your Little guy =).

Tammy

 

 

 

.

 

 
September 26, 2008, 10:20 pm CDT

Wow, this one hit home!

This show really bothered me more than I thought it would I have always been a promter of open adoptions. I am a CASA advocate, I have been a foster parent, and I have an adopted child. I really enjoyed the part of the show about The Locatorr. I thought he was great! But the first two women really bothered me. Both the birth mother and the adoptive mother of the twins seemed incredibly selfish to me.

 

I can understand both of their fears and feelings, but the way they addressed them is ridiculous! The adoptive mom must have scared those poor boys to death telling them throughout their lives that "you never know when someone might knock on our door!" And then the birth mother saying she "never gave her permission for the boys to be adopted". What a bunch of crap.; Either you gave them up or they were taken from you for a reason (which means you chose the behavior that had the consequence, so in essence you gave them up). Just own up to it!

 

I was always honest with my son about his adoption. We had him first as a foster child and he always asked a lot of questions. I answered them at his level whenever he asked, and eventually he had the whole story. I asked his birth mother to stay in touch with me because I knew he would want to meet her some day., but she didn't.

 

When he was a teenager, he decided he wanted to meet his sister. She was five years older, so we waited until she was 18, and started searching. I eventually found her. Unfortunately, she and the birth mom were both deceased. I couldn't believbe this  and wondered how I could tell my son, so I asked if there was some relative I could give him. There was a grandmother, so we contacted her. She is a wonderful person and has in turn adopted us as part of her family. My son is the last link she has to her daughter and granddaughter, and she is thrilled to have him back in her life.

 

I did have some fears ging into it, but knew I wanted to be fully involved. Now we have met the whole family and love them all!

 
September 27, 2008, 8:01 am CDT

My story - and maybe a tip to help...

This show hit very close to home for me also.  I found my birth family 4 years ago and it was great!  A little background and I'll share how I did it and I hope perhaps this will help someone else who is searching.  I was born in 1956 and adopted at the age of 5 months.  I have always known I was adopted and had a childhood that didn't lack for much except for siblings.  I was born in Pennsylvania and in 1980 was able to get a copy of the original birth certificate before they sealed the records.  Yes, I searched for 24 years. 

So I had my birth parent names (or so I thought) and the towns they were from.  I knew it wouldn't be easy because chances were my mother had married since having me.  But I was lucky to have names which is more than alot of people have.  Anyway, off and on thru the years I looked...but with 3 kids of my own and not much time or money, my searches were sporadic.  I had phone books, made calls, wrote letters but nothing.  Did get alot or replies from people wishing me good luck but they weren't who I was looking for.  In January of 2004 I noticed ancestry.com had posted a new census from the 1930's.  Started looking...and there were some familiar names but they weren't matching up with ages and families.  I began to realize the names I had while all "pertinent players" weren't exactly correct.  Found what I thought was my birth mother - according to name and age.  She had several brothers and sisters...began searching on line for their names.  Lo and behold...turned up an obituary for my birth mothers sister - it listed all the names that matched according to census records.  It also said she was preceded in death by a sister with my mother's name - her married name!  Now I had another name to look for!  I did a search for that last name in the state my birth parents were from.  Turned up only one name - a man's name.  So I sent an email - that was on Sunday.  On the following Wed at work, I get an email back from the man...I had given him names and asked if they meant anything and that there was a possiblity we may be related.  He said yes....that was his mother's name and her brother's name and that he had "heard" a story about a possible baby given up.  Long story short...I found my half-brother who also had a sister!!  I was happy, scared and extremely nervous.  Within minutes, my sister was on the phone to me...I had sent her documentation, and a picture of me.  We looked exactly alike - having grown up as an only child, I was just ecstatic!  She informed me my birth mother had passed away several years earlier and that heart problems had taken the whole family out except for one uncle.  My son and I made plans to go visit them on Friday....whether it was the excitement of the week or what I don't know but Friday morning I had a heart attack (at age 48) and had to be lifeflighted.  We were all so afraid something would happen before we even got a chance to meet.  I had previously given my sister my phone numbers and she was able to get thru to my ex-husband in ICU to keep informed of what was going on.  There was no doubt in anyone's mind we were related after looking at the pics.  Of course, the first thing the hospital wanted to know was if there was a family history.  Prior to this, I had been in touch with the home I was adopted from who gave me some info but no names of course and they had said there was no medical history (which there probably wouldn't have been at that time).  I feel sure that I am alive because of the agressive medical treatment I received (even tho it was a minor attack) due to receving the info from my sister 2 days prior.  It took us 4 months to get together and we visit at least a couple times a year and would like it to be more often...but we each have our lives so we do stay in touch by phone.  The best thing for me is finding out there is somebody out there that looks like me, thinks like me - we can finish each other's sentences.  The similarities are amazing....we dress alike, decorate our homes alike, buy shoes from the same online store - first time we got together...I came downstairs with an outfit on and my sis wondered why I was in her closet wearing her clothes....I wasn't ...we had the same outfit!!  The date I found my birth family was the date of the aunt's death (the one that I found her obit).  I have been welcomed with open arms from all the family and have heard stories of how my mother did not want to give me up and almost didn't.  My one aunt by marriage had offered to help my mother raise me but my birth grandmother was afraid of scandal - which I totally understand.  I wasn't looking for anything...esp "financial" help....I wanted to know why I think the way I do....One last note...the name on my birth cert that was listed as my father's actually was an uncle - my birth father was married and wanted to remain unknown...that's ok...I have a sis and brother and that's more than enough!!  They know nothing about my birth father but that doesn't really matter - altho my sis says the year I turned 18...somebody was in the place where my mother worked asking questions....possibly could have been somebody from my father's side.  At any rate....using ancestry.com might help someone if they are older....they only have census records thru the 30's I believe.  And obviously the info to be found online is never-ending.  Good luck to all who are searching...I guess I was one of the lucky ones that did have a fairy tale reunion!

 
September 27, 2008, 11:04 am CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Quote From: toniwahl

Just wondered if you have tried to find him via the branch of service he was in or maybe his relatives? 
Have you tried the Red Cross?
 
September 27, 2008, 3:13 pm CDT

The Locator

 I am looking for my son. I was in high school in Falls Church Va. As soon as my parents found out I

was pregnant they moved me to Erie, PA. I was told my son died at birth. 40 yrs. later I received a letter

from my mother before her death telling me my son was not dead but had been given up for adoption.

I have tried to search for him to no avail. His father & I would love to find him and let him know that

we had no choice in the decision to give him up. The birth & the circumstances surronding it was very

tramatic to me, so I don't recall alot about his birth. I was told this is common.  His birth date would

be in November 1964. There's not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of him. A part of me is

missing. If anyone could give me some advice on what I can do to locate him it would be very much

appreciated. Thank you & God Bless all of you Moms who are out there searching.

 
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