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Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Number of Replies: 215
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Created on : Friday, September 19, 2008, 05:26:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Original Air Date: 09/24/08) Do you have a friend or relative whom you've lost all contact with or have never even met? While you may dream about a reunion being a great and healing experience, reconciliation could also cause more heartache than you expect. Catherine was raised by her mother, never knowing who or where her dad was. She recently became a mom, and her desire to find her biological dad became top priority. When she did locate him, was the reunion all that she expected? Next, Angel has been trying to reconnect with her twin sons, Tylor and Taylor, for almost 20 years. With the help of Troy Dunn, a professional locator and host of the WE TV show The Locator, her dreams came true. See how the boys react to reuniting with their biological mother. And, when an adoptive mother finds out her children are going to meet their biological mother, emotions can range from joy, to tension, to feeling threatened. Follow the journey of the twins' adoptive mother, Ruth, as she shares her experience of  meeting Angel. Plus, the twins have never met their little sister face to face. Will this be the day? Then, Ricardo contacted Troy to help him find his brother, whom he had never met. Cameras follow their emotional first meeting, and find out the unexpected person who shows up. Have the siblings been able to maintain their relationship? And, if you're trying to find a long-lost loved one, you won't want to miss Troy's top tips for conducting your own search! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 24, 2008, 1:49 pm CDT

Why is it that...?

I've read and seen a lot of adoption stories over the years, and there's something I've been wondering about.  Why is it that the birth parents, especially the birth mothers, always say something like, "I never wanted to give you up." Or even, "They stole you from me!"

 

How on earth do two children get adopted out from underneath a mother's nose? How on earth does that happen in the United States?

 

Never once have I heard a biological parent say, "You know, I was young and unstable, and I decided that I cared more for myself than for the realistic task of parenting." Or, more delicately, "I just wasn't ready." Or, "I didn't want to be a parent, but, as the years went by, I had second and third thoughts, and I went back on my decision and I decided I wanted to help co-parent alongside of whoever has been raising you."

 

It's always, "I never wanted to give you up, not for a moment, ever." 

 

Is there a way to investigate the back stories that the biological parents tell?

 

Maybe the biological parents attempt to mitigate their less than caring attitude towards their infant children by saying those things, but obviously, they can't all feel that way or they wouldn't have given them up.

 

 

 
September 24, 2008, 1:51 pm CDT

The Locator

     I adopted 2 little girls in 1962 in El Paso, Tx.  They have spent several years trying to find 4 half siblings and parents with no success.  I have seen ads for the locator's program but don't get WE network.  I am interested in getting information on Mr. Dunn and what it takes to hire his services.  Thanks for the program and information available.  PMP
 
September 24, 2008, 2:08 pm CDT

WHATS WITH KATHERINE???

I couldn't help but be angry with the first girl that was on the show..  I mean, it seems like the whole and only reason she ever actually got in touch with her biological father was because she needed money!!  My mother had to give up her daughter for adoption (way before my brother or I were born).  They reunited about 15 years ago, and unfortunately my sister seems to have the same attitude that Katherine did on the show.  That my mother owed her everything.  Did you notice that Katherine stated that she realized how much she really needed her father after HER child was born??  That she couldn't imagine any one else going through her "Hard" life?  Well, I didn't see a wedding ring on her finger (not that that really matters), but not even a mention of who HER child's father was??  I honestly don't know what she went through growing up, but cmon, we all have our problems growing up, so boo hoo.  It looks like she didn't make the right decisions these past few years, and now feels that her father (who also just found out about her) needs to pay for her mistakes?? NO WAY..

 

I am a single dad, and my daughter is the greatest thing that ever came into my life.  Financially it can be tough, but I sure as heck don't expect anyone else to bail me out, or point the finger.

 

Katherine with her crocodile tears was in my opinion not on the show because she wanted a loving, physical, emotional relationship with her father, but instead just wanted a meal ticket, and what better way to try than to write such a RIDICULOUS letter to her father that she did.  She should be ashamed of herself, and realize that not that she is a parent, she has to take responsibility.  Good things (if your sincere) come to you if you do the right thing.  I don't blame her father for not coming on the show.  Especially after that letter.  I'm sure if she was rich, she would care less.  I hope I'm wrong, but it certainly didn't seem that way.

 

 I think that what the rescue guys dad said was perfect.. That if it weren't for his son being born, his son would not be able to save other lives.  Basically that his mother could have chosen to have an abortion but chose not to, and because of that, there is a good man out there saving lives. 

 

Katherine, be happy and grateful that you are alive and well and have a beautiful son.  Stop being materialistic and BE HAPPY that your father actually came and met you.  I couldn't imagine how I would feel as a man if I found out I had a child (woman with a kid).  If you want to be angry with someone, be angry with your mother for him not being there.

 

Good luck and God Bless You..

 
September 24, 2008, 2:13 pm CDT

lost nephew

My sister died suddenly 2 years ago in her apt. She was living alone. She died with her cell and house phone in each hand attempting to call for help. She has one child (a son) who is an adult. I believe his age is in the 40's. They both had some differencies and he cuts off communication from her. She tried to get in touch with him but without success. Now she is dead and he is not aware of her passing. I tried to locate him on the internet without sucess.  I just want him to know about his mother's passing. Any help will be gratefully appreciated.
 
September 24, 2008, 2:18 pm CDT

AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!

Quote From: momjamestay

I was disgusted by what seemed to be such a "you owe me" attitude from Catherine. What a brat! She said she knew her father didn't owe her anything, but then she kept going on about how he should give her money, or "help financially" as she put it.

She also wrote that letter talking about how she felt "resentment". It seems misdirected. I mean, didn't her mother make the decision to not tell her father about her? What could she possibly resent HIM for??? He had no idea she was even alive. Now she just wants to pop into his life as a grown woman with a child and say "hey dad, pay up". Sound like her mom didn't teach her very well of the ways of the world.

If I were her dad and some woman showed up and said I was her father and then proceeded to complain about her bad financial situation, I think I'd wonder if I was being scammed and ask for a paternity test.

Seriously, Catherine doesn't want a father. She wants a sugar daddy. Watch out boys!

Man, you are right on with what you said!!  I jut posted basically the same comments about her.  Her mother is the dummy that never did anything.  Also, did you notice she never once talked about HER kids father?  I got a kick out of her when she had the stupid tear running down her face and she never wiped it off.  Looked like she was trying to win an Oscar! lol.. I dont blame the dad for not coming to the show.  She has alot of growing up to do!  Good job on your posting!!
 
September 24, 2008, 2:18 pm CDT

Not all the same

Quote From: justnancy

I've read and seen a lot of adoption stories over the years, and there's something I've been wondering about.  Why is it that the birth parents, especially the birth mothers, always say something like, "I never wanted to give you up." Or even, "They stole you from me!"

 

How on earth do two children get adopted out from underneath a mother's nose? How on earth does that happen in the United States?

 

Never once have I heard a biological parent say, "You know, I was young and unstable, and I decided that I cared more for myself than for the realistic task of parenting." Or, more delicately, "I just wasn't ready." Or, "I didn't want to be a parent, but, as the years went by, I had second and third thoughts, and I went back on my decision and I decided I wanted to help co-parent alongside of whoever has been raising you."

 

It's always, "I never wanted to give you up, not for a moment, ever." 

 

Is there a way to investigate the back stories that the biological parents tell?

 

Maybe the biological parents attempt to mitigate their less than caring attitude towards their infant children by saying those things, but obviously, they can't all feel that way or they wouldn't have given them up.

 

 

Speaking as a "birth mother"  I said to my daughter that I gave up for adoption the following:  I had nothing to offer a new baby I had 2 daughter who I was struggling to support, living on the wrong side of the tracks and married to an abusive man.  I wanted something better for at least one of my children.  2 living in the hell that was my life was 2 too many but I couldn't bear to part with them.  To make a long story short I managed to get away from the husband who died of natural causes before the divorce was final and with the help of social security was able to get an education and a better job.  I never forgot the adopted child and to this day I firmly believe that I made the best decision for all concerned.  The adopted daughter found me 40 years later and wanted a big family reunion.  She was adopted by a very fine family but always felt that she didn't fit in with that family.  She is a very unhappy woman and wants something from me but is unable to verbalize what that something is.  Not all birth mothers or as uncaring as you seem to think. 
 
September 24, 2008, 2:22 pm CDT

looking for my daddy and sister

     I have never meet my dad and i would like to meet him. I know  he lives in toronto canada  , I have look for him  since i was 16 years old.  I would like to know what his medical history is because i am going to have baby and plus for my self. I want know if he ever thought about me. i have alot of  questions for him.

 

My sister is only five months older then me.  Are dad got two women preagant around the same time. 

 

So if you can help me  that would be great.

 

It would be nice to know where i get some of my trats from.

 

His name is Ronald  R. Crisp

 
September 24, 2008, 2:23 pm CDT

Thank You! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

Quote From: momjamestay

I was disgusted by what seemed to be such a "you owe me" attitude from Catherine. What a brat! She said she knew her father didn't owe her anything, but then she kept going on about how he should give her money, or "help financially" as she put it.

She also wrote that letter talking about how she felt "resentment". It seems misdirected. I mean, didn't her mother make the decision to not tell her father about her? What could she possibly resent HIM for??? He had no idea she was even alive. Now she just wants to pop into his life as a grown woman with a child and say "hey dad, pay up". Sound like her mom didn't teach her very well of the ways of the world.

If I were her dad and some woman showed up and said I was her father and then proceeded to complain about her bad financial situation, I think I'd wonder if I was being scammed and ask for a paternity test.

Seriously, Catherine doesn't want a father. She wants a sugar daddy. Watch out boys!

I am so glad I am not the only one to feel this way!!!  I can't believe Catherine is upset that her father isn't financially helping her out in her difficult time.  It's not his fault she is in this predicament.  She's the one who had a baby and ended up in this situation.  So many people in this day and age are having financial difficulties, and she can't expect her father to bail her out just because she has found him, now.  So what if he has money, and she doesn't.  He has worked to get that money and has the right to do with it as he pleases.  She shouldn't be mad at her father, but she should be mad at her mother!  It's her mother's fault she had a bad childhood.  It's her mother's fault she didn't know her father.  I can understand why her father wouldn't want much contact or a relationship with her.  She does want a sugar daddy, and her father needs to get a paternity test to make sure she is his daughter.  Give us all a break, Catherine, and stop whining about your financial situation.  We all go through it at some point in time. 

 

Susan, MD

 
September 24, 2008, 2:25 pm CDT

Changing times

Quote From: justnancy

I've read and seen a lot of adoption stories over the years, and there's something I've been wondering about.  Why is it that the birth parents, especially the birth mothers, always say something like, "I never wanted to give you up." Or even, "They stole you from me!"

 

How on earth do two children get adopted out from underneath a mother's nose? How on earth does that happen in the United States?

 

Never once have I heard a biological parent say, "You know, I was young and unstable, and I decided that I cared more for myself than for the realistic task of parenting." Or, more delicately, "I just wasn't ready." Or, "I didn't want to be a parent, but, as the years went by, I had second and third thoughts, and I went back on my decision and I decided I wanted to help co-parent alongside of whoever has been raising you."

 

It's always, "I never wanted to give you up, not for a moment, ever." 

 

Is there a way to investigate the back stories that the biological parents tell?

 

Maybe the biological parents attempt to mitigate their less than caring attitude towards their infant children by saying those things, but obviously, they can't all feel that way or they wouldn't have given them up.

 

 

A minor child can be made to give a child up for adoption.  Being able to survive as a minor without the resources is difficult if not impossible.  Housing, insurance, support, schooling, incidental costs.....  And please don't tell me welfare - they are still being supported by their parents, and society, when this route is taken.

 

How would YOU respond if your parent said:  "You were the product of an act of violence."  In my mind, that is not indicative of a profession of love.

 

Less than caring attitude?  Please....walk in the shoes of those who have actually been there/done that/suffered the heartache before you put words into their mouths.

 
September 24, 2008, 2:29 pm CDT

Birth MOTHER located July 2004/ Awesome

I was handed to my adopted parents at the age of 7 months.  After 2 years the adoption was completed.  More than 40 years had gone by when I was reunited with my mother and other siblings.  I can only say things are awesome and I am so thankful this has happened.  God is so good!  Never stop looking for your loved ones.  I knew it could have been a negitive reunion, but through Gods Grace it is all positive.

My adopted parents were dead before the reunion.   I have 6 sisters and 2 brothers plus loads of more family. 

 
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