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Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

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Created on : Friday, September 19, 2008, 05:26:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Original Air Date: 09/24/08) Do you have a friend or relative whom you've lost all contact with or have never even met? While you may dream about a reunion being a great and healing experience, reconciliation could also cause more heartache than you expect. Catherine was raised by her mother, never knowing who or where her dad was. She recently became a mom, and her desire to find her biological dad became top priority. When she did locate him, was the reunion all that she expected? Next, Angel has been trying to reconnect with her twin sons, Tylor and Taylor, for almost 20 years. With the help of Troy Dunn, a professional locator and host of the WE TV show The Locator, her dreams came true. See how the boys react to reuniting with their biological mother. And, when an adoptive mother finds out her children are going to meet their biological mother, emotions can range from joy, to tension, to feeling threatened. Follow the journey of the twins' adoptive mother, Ruth, as she shares her experience of  meeting Angel. Plus, the twins have never met their little sister face to face. Will this be the day? Then, Ricardo contacted Troy to help him find his brother, whom he had never met. Cameras follow their emotional first meeting, and find out the unexpected person who shows up. Have the siblings been able to maintain their relationship? And, if you're trying to find a long-lost loved one, you won't want to miss Troy's top tips for conducting your own search! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 24, 2008, 3:13 pm CDT

My reuion was not a fantasy come true

When I was 7 months old my biological mother gave me up for adoption.  At age 25, I reunited with her and met my siblings.  I was so excited.  As an adopted child you have fantasies of your biological family and meeting them.  I remember standing the kitchen at their home looking at all the faces staring back at me.  I kept going back and tried to fit in and become a part of their family.  I have 3 half-brothers and 3 half-sisters.  One of the sisters would make the comment that I was not her sister because I didn't grow up with her.  One sister and I have become very close down thru the past several years.  The other sister whom I believed loved me and since let me know that I don't mean anything to her.  Anyway, after about 4-5 years of trying to fit in with them, I walked away.  It was a hard decision because I really wanted them in my lives.  I stayed away for 17 years.  I still knew what was gong on with them because the one sister I do have a relationship with kept me informed, at least part of the time.  She also was away from the family for a 5 year period due to her accusations of sexual abuse as a child.  Approximately 5 years ago my oldest brother passed away unexpectedly and once again I found myself trying to fit in.  I knew I wasn't really when my name was not included in the obituary as a sister.  For 5 years I tried to fit in again.  As a Christian, I believe in forgivness and loving unconditionally.  They do not.  If you are not a mirror image of them in your beliefs, they don't care if you are around or not.  In March of 2008, I defended my daughter when I found out they were talking about her.  Since that time, they have not spoke to me and do not want to.  I do not understand how someone could give birth and then seemingly have no feelings for that child.  Can anyone explain that to me?  I did come away with another family member this time, my oldest niece has become very close to myself and my daughter.  I recently wrote a letter to my biological mother asking her some of these questions and letting her know I love her and the rest of the family regardless of how they feel about me.  I do get down about this at times, but I also know I have to live my life for myself and no worry about whether they want me in their lives or not.  Any advice?
 
September 24, 2008, 3:17 pm CDT

Help

Quote From: mbgoodwyn

Dr. Phil,

 

   Thank you for having this show. When I was about 17 years old my mother took my daugther away from me at the hospital and gave her to Social Worker in Charlottesville, Va. for adoption. I did not give any one premission. I was told the baby was a stillborn. But, since then I have find out she was raised in Charlottesville, Va., and alive.  I would like to find her. For two reasons her father is dieing and I want her to know that I didn't give her up. She was born in Richmond, Va. Her birh date is September 25, 1965 or 1966.

 

    I have been looking for her the ways I know how but, no luck. Is there any new ways or avenues I may go through. Is there an organization that might would help?

 

Thanks

 

gfb          Please tell me how to get in touch with them.

 

 

Thanks Again Dr. Phil

One site on the internet is Adoption forums.com.It helped me a great deal to find my birthmother and birthfather.Go to there and request a search angel.They always have people on there willing to help.

Best of luck to you!

 
September 24, 2008, 3:19 pm CDT

hang in there

I just want everyone to know my story. In August I found my son I put up for adoption 25 years ago and you are not going to believe how. I found out my sons first name by a fluke from the adoption agency. By using the first name and his birthdate I found him on Facebook. It has truly been a miracle. We have not been able to meet in person yet (he lives in Utah I live in Ohio). I t has been amazing so far. He wants to be in my life and a brother to his 6 half siblings. I hope everyone out there who is looking can have a great ending and beginning like mine. It is amazing how the weight off my heart has been lifted and now I'm hoping to be to finally be able to fix the rest of my life.

Good Luck in all your searching,

Barb

 
September 24, 2008, 3:25 pm CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Quote From: lindasott

I will be meeting with my adopted daughter 1st week of Oct.  I am very happy about this reunion.  My 23 year old daughter would love to be with me.  Do you think this is approriate, or should I go solo?  Please give me some advice on what to say or do.  I am very nervous, Iove her very much . Do not want to scare her away.   I am afraid of saying the wrong thing or giving a bad impression.  I know nothing she could do would discourage me from caring for her .  I could accept her regardless of anything.  Guess I would like for her to accept me.    Any advice for me. Thank you, Linda Ott

 

I recently reunited with the daughter I placed in an open adoption 19 yrs ago.  Although I knew where she was her entire life we only had full contact for the first few months of her life.  We were not allowed to have personal contact until she turned 18.  This yr in May we were reunited.  I have an 11 yr old daughter that has always known about her half sister.  As much as she wanted to meet her we all felt that it was best to wait.  My first born is the one who chose the time to finally meet, which she did in July.  Let your first born make the decision for herself. It might a bit overwhelming. This way the two of you can have some alone to really talk.  My favorite part of the reunion was staying up until 4 am like two girls at a sleepover.  She is one who chose to stay with me in my hotel room and in the same bed.  

GOOD LUCK!  

 
September 24, 2008, 3:26 pm CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Quote From: youngsr66

     I adopted 2 little girls in 1962 in El Paso, Tx.  They have spent several years trying to find 4 half siblings and parents with no success.  I have seen ads for the locator's program but don't get WE network.  I am interested in getting information on Mr. Dunn and what it takes to hire his services.  Thanks for the program and information available.  PMP

http://www.wetv.com/the-locator/ 

 

 

 
September 24, 2008, 3:29 pm CDT

I have an interesting story.

Dear Dr. Phil,
          According to my mom, I was born an identical twin. The doctor that delivered us was also expecting a baby the same day. I don't know the circumstances, but he later came to my mom and told her that since she had two baby girls, he was taking one to raise as his own. He did just that. She walked out of the hospital with only me. You ask, "How could she do that?" I guess because he was a doctor, he could do what he wanted. She had two more children and has never received a bill for any of it. As it turns out, he was the family dr. . Needless to say, I had to see him on occasion. When that happened, I was never billed either. I had a seizure problem for about a year and outpatient appointments. I never received a bill for that either. My mom said he paid our dr. bills for payment of taking my sister. It has been 39 years and I have never seen her. Although I know what she looks like. Ha-ha. It would be a great thing if Mr. Dunn could help me get in touch with her. It would mean the world to me!!! My mom would be thankful also. Hope you can help.
                                                                                                                                Veronica
 
September 24, 2008, 3:31 pm CDT

I cant make a decision...

I have somewhat of a different situation when it comes to my adoption history.  I was adopted at 3 days old by my biological Aunt and Uncle.  My Bio Mother (my adoptive mothers sister)  gave me up due to me being the result of a one night stand with a college friend.  When I was about 13 years old, I asked my bio mother about my father and was told that he said it was "too bad" that she was pregnant. He then dropped out of college, and dissapeared off the face of the planet.  Years later, I now have reason to believe that this story is possibly a lie.  I havent been able to confirm this at all with my bio mother, and my adoptive mother doesnt know anything about my bio father.  So now im having a very difficult time deciding what to do. Should I confront my bio mother and ask her to tell the truth?  Maybe the fact that I was 13 years old when I first asked her played a part in why she told me that story?  Now that I'm an adult, she'll tell me the truth?

 

I would love input on this and I'm not at all sure what to do....

Thanks!

 
September 24, 2008, 3:39 pm CDT

I cant believe you

Quote From: kvmogal

A minor child can be made to give a child up for adoption.  Being able to survive as a minor without the resources is difficult if not impossible.  Housing, insurance, support, schooling, incidental costs.....  And please don't tell me welfare - they are still being supported by their parents, and society, when this route is taken.

 

How would YOU respond if your parent said:  "You were the product of an act of violence."  In my mind, that is not indicative of a profession of love.

 

Less than caring attitude?  Please....walk in the shoes of those who have actually been there/done that/suffered the heartache before you put words into their mouths.

I put my son up for adoption 25 yearsa ago. I didnot have any way to take care of him. When you are 17 you dont know about where to go for help,and if you think parents who dont want you to have a baby are going to help you are crazy. What am I suppose to do go to my best girlfriend who is 16 or 17 and say hey what is welfare and how do I get it. I didnt want to give him up and you definitly need to get a clue.
 
September 24, 2008, 3:42 pm CDT

What was thisgirl thinking?

Grown woman independant enough to lay down and make a baby to get herself in a bind that is as hard as her doing a little hard work to get out of and first thing she does is call a man that she does not know smile with the pretense of finding family but really hiding her open hands in the hug she gave to him.  The nerve of this Cathy sitting there envying a dog whom her father has known and loved longer then she, for eating meat from his table.  
 
September 24, 2008, 3:43 pm CDT

Locate sibling

Mom died in 1985.  Dad died in December 1940 as the result of an accident. 

Mom gave birth to a child April 1944, and could have been born at Ogden, Utah.

Mom's full name was Falba Larsen Jensen and she would have been 28 at the time.

I would like to locate this sibling...

Thanks,

Maureen

 
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