Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

I gave my son up for Adoption 38 years ago August 30.  He had been trying to find me for 8 years.  The day before he was going to hire an attorney to locate me a Social Worker called me and verifired who I was and asked if he could call me.  I said yes and gave him his father's number.  My son called both of us and met us seperately on the same day. He looks just like his father.  I was sooo scared and excited both.   He and his wife are now expecting and I am excited for them.  I do not know what to do now though.  I do not know how much contact he wants.  What is the next step? Do I contact him or wait for him to contact me?

I think this is a wonderful service. But I do know how the Birth Mother feels.  Not a day went by that I did not think about and pray for him. I longed to see him again and am very grateful to have the opportunity to know and talk with him now. 

Thank you so much for this show. I was crying like a baby with all of the families. I, myself was adopted by my grandparents. I have always wondered about my biological father, I felt like a puzzle walking around with a missing piece. I decided I was going to start my own search with the help of my husband. It took us about 5 months, at the age of 36 years old I meet my father for the very first time Oct. 2007. It was incredible and we are working very hard to build our relationship and make up for a lot of lost time. It was so nice to watch the show and to honestly be able to say I know how all those families felt.  Thank you again for an incredible show~~ Gena from Va.

Dear Dr. Phil,

   Too many people have ultimately given up hope for finding their loved ones. However, I have not given up in my search. I have been looking for my birth mother since I turned 16 and am now 47. There is not one day that I have not thought of my birth mother in a grateful and loving way. Back when in 1961 there was a thing known as an abortion and Mary could have chosen that path, yet, not only for her religion, which was catholic, but, in her heart-of-hearts could not do such a devastating thing.

     I am therefore asking, Dr. Phil, for help in finding Mary, not only for myself, but for my daughter as well.

Thankyou!

I got pregnant by date rape at the age of 15.  Twenty-three years later the child from that tragedy found me.

She was given confidential State information illegally by a "birth angel," information that was not available to me through legal routes.

She emailed me, and I responded.  I shared stories, medical information and family history.  I told her of the pain involved in the pregnancy, as well as the birth and adoption process.  I also told her that I was NOT able to be her mother, that I had given birth to her, but that was where my involvement ended.  I was a mother to two children now, just as she was a daughter to her parents.  Our lives, though connected at a moment in time, had been separated and gone separate ways.  This, unfortunately, was not what she had dreamed of.

She threatens to contact family members, to appear in my hometown and make inquiries.  She states she has a right to know the people involved in my life.  I've had to retain an attorney to pursue legal avenues should she persist in her threats.

I'm sorry she did not have the relationship she felt she deserved from her mother.  I'm sorry her life is so miserable that she feels the need to enter mine.  The day I gave her up for adoption, I only wished her good things and that wish continues today.

Reunions are NOT always peaches and cream.  Please.....think the decision regarding opening the doors of reunion through very, very carefully.