Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

I am not sure were you are from, but were i live we have a thing called the freedom if information act, that allows individuals to find out information about themselves, from documentation by agencies.

Anything that pertains to other individuals will be blacked out, but anything pertaining to you specifically will be released. If you live in a place that does nto have this act maybe you have something similar? Worth checking out, if you really need and want to know. I really hoep this helps you find a direction, and that it works out for the best for you! good luck!

Tammy

I saw the actual episode of "The Locator" and my first thought was that if it was an adoption that had paperwork, perhaps he actually paid another woman to sign the papers to make the adoption legitimate.

While I don't know all the facts of the case as the episode did not go into all that, my thought initally was this guy used another woman to help make the adoption happen. After all, even when I went to school you still had to have a birth certificate as well as immunization records.

Twenty years ago computers were not in every hospital or courthouse and paperwork could have very easily been doctored as well with a simple typewriter.

dmende

The website www.adoption.com as well as other sites are excellent resources to register with if you are looking for your family.

I also made a myspace and facebook page with my real name, should my son be a computer geek as I am. People use both sites all the time to find family and friends. At about the same time I registered with the adoption website I created a page on myspace and facebook "just in case."

I registered over a year ago, and exactly one year and two days later, I heard from my son on August 28 of this year.

He knew about his adoption, but never dreamed he would have as many siblings as he has. He found the site in March of this year, but it took him until August to make the call.

The call was 20 years overdue for me. I have now made my facebook and myspace pages private and am uploading photos of the family so he can get aquainted with faces before he comes to meet his siblings in October.

dmende 

Wonderful show today.  It was very moving.  My family has been blessed with the miracle of adoption, the most profound gift possible.  I hope that my son will want to connect with his birth parents one day.  We have occasional communication with both the birth mother and birth father.  They are our heroes, and we are so very grateful.

Dr. Phil, you referred to parents today as "adoptive mothers" and "adoptive fathers."  I think pretty universally those of us who have adopted children find that term diminishing and hurtful.  My son is not my "adopted son" he is my SON, and I am his mother.  This is a mistake many people make, and I realize no harm is intended.  But please realize that the parents who raise the child, who feed, clothe, comfort, and make a lifetime commitment to love forever... those are the Parents, the real mother and father.  The biological parents are the birth parents and they are to be cherished, respected and revered.  But please don't call us "adoptive" parents.

I just saw the show with Catherine (sp).  Anyway, I know she is young and probably did not mean to sound this way, but I saw her to be a spoiled brat (sorry if this sounds harsh, but).  She has had a mom and a brother, and now she is lucky enough to find her father and all she can think of is "how can this help me"?  "How can I get money from him?"

I have never met my father (thank God because he tried to kill my mother when he found out she was pregnant with me).  My last name is the same as the cop she filed the restraining order against my father with (they were dating by this time and we was in the delivery room when I was born, and he was a man...also, she told me she did not want me to have her last name).  My mother was a violent, abusive alcoholic.  My mother let me know how much she wanted me all the time.  She told me that I was the reason for all of her problems, that I ruined her life, that the only reason she kept me around is so she could keep getting food stamps and walefare (booze money), and that if abortion had been legal I would not be alive (I have blocked out most of my childhood, but still remember a lot of the words).  After she hauled me all over the US until I was 10, she dropped me of at a facility and put me up for adoption.  I was in and out of foster homes and treatment facilities till I was 16 when I emancipated myself (illegally, but still out). I have slept on the street (on the beach actually and you don't realize just how alone you are until you have no where to go), I did crystal meth till I was 20 (which I quit myself, no rehab...if I hadn't quit I would have died).  I finally moved away from San Diego and started over.  I worked odd jobs, got married, got divorced, and finally joined the Air Force.  That was my turning point.  I now have my own home, 4 college degrees, and am going to make it. 

I know this is a big rambling mess, but it is my way of saying...you have a mom and a brother.  I wish I could be so lucky.  I have no mom, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins...you get the picture...anyway, don't look at your father as anyone who owes you anything.  Feel grateful he even agreed to meet you in the first place.  Do you know how many fathers know they have kids and don't care at all...you are so lucky, don't ruin it with your entitlement mentality and selfishness.  Think of all the kids out there who will never have the opportunity to know their father's, or any of their family for that matter.

Cannot believe the adasity of this young lady. I heard money money money... Her intentions of 'getting to know her Dad' are pathetic. I, to this date do NOT know my biological father, and I can say HONESTLY money would not even cross my mind.. my pain in my heart would be first and foremost! I met my birth Mom several years ago.. and was not the lady whom I expexted her to be.. and do not speak to her... Materials were her way of showing love.. My way is to LOVE from the heart not from the wallet.

Shame on catherine.