Topic : 11/27 Extreme Moms

I think there is a time for both.  There is a time for hovering (when they re very young and need parental protection) and there is a time for freedom (when they are older and have proven that they are mature and trustworthy).

 

I have 4 children ages 17 years to 6 months and I have and am learning alot about what to do and what not to do.

 

I think that parents that let their kids run free all the time whilst they nothing about where they are, are not wise.  and I think that parents who let their kids do nothing out of fear are also unwise.

 

as long as you can be somewhere in the middle then you are doing good.

 

there is no manuel to being a perfect parent just have patience, learn from your parenting mistakes and always be willing to do better.

I know a lot of people in the United States that let their kids take public bus and subway every day too haha. Depends on the parents, obviously from this show. My parents settled down after I was 12. They were more dramatic when I was really little, but they weren't too bad. They just didn't want me to get snatched.

As a JR HIGH administrator, my blood boils every year when legions of helicopter parents show up the week before school with the school map in THEIR OWN hand, and walk their 12 year old from class to class to make sure the student can find his/her way around the school.  What's sadder than that sight, is the fact that these children really CAN'T read a map!!!  They have been so horribly handicapped by their overbearing parents that they can't even find their way around a new school with a map.  It drives me crazy!!!  Thank you for addressing the need to raise children who are independent, competent, and confident.

Way to go.  Don't you dare pay $50,000 to send Ashlee to school.  Let Dr. Phil pay for it since he is soo smart.  I too had an Ashlee and my husband and kept giving her the benefit of the doubt.  If they end up on welfare for working at Walmart, you will nver see the money again.  You'll get lots of I'm sorry's down the road but the money will be long gone.  If she wants to go, she has to put her share of the money in.  If she won't invest in it, it won't mean a thing to her.  Once they get an attitude, they start learning all the tricks from their friends.  Some are:  Drop out right after and get the refund issued to yourself, borrow the money on a student loan, then blow it.  They also know that the first ist better because they don't have to pay that one back.  Better to find out early and invest the money in your grandchildren.  We learned the hard way.

Common sense seems to have flown out of the window!  I can see how you feel, as an Administrator, having to deal with these "helicopter" moms.  I also see where someone has to have a screw loose to allow a 9 year old on a New York City subway.  It depends on where you are living. 

Parents today are really put into a bad place.  You trust your instincts, and BIG BROTHER says it's neglect or abuse...so parenting has become a pain in the *ss.

I have very strong feelings about never locking the doors when you have young children...so my 3 year old saw me in the shower...the human body is NOT only something that is SEXUALIZED...it is natural, and much more important that your child can get to you.  Even using the bathroom, you're not commiting a crime by performing a normal bodily function.  Someone once told me that CPS could take my kids...It's insane!

I think parents today are so damn afraid to just LIVE,they are on parenting "overkill", so as not to have a label.

With all of the B/S children are turning up dead, beaten starved...but NORMAL parents are paranoid about what they are "allowed" to do.

I am SO happy my youngest is 18, and the INSANITY is over.  I had a great childhood in the 1970's, and my parents weren't "afraid" because they were NOT doing anything wrong...and we lived in a world that wasn't looking to twist our lives. 

 

Ummmm... when  I heard the mom go on and on about how she thinks she is teaching her boy independance by dropping off in the middle of New York with a map and subway tokens, and told to find his way home, I actually began to cry. I have 2 kids and I am a relaxed mom. I have a 15 yr old who goes to parties, hangs out with friends, and all she has to do is call and check in. But to leave a child in the middle of town is heartbreaking. In a city where there were 26,000 people who had to register as a sex offender in 2007 alone, its frightening. Anything, anything, ANYTHING can happen! The moms attitude was like "yeah, but it wont." Honestly, its not  matter of IFanything will happen, its when. Maybe we should just stay out of her hair and start a fund in her son's name so when he DOES go missing, she has a place to get started. A banner that says "we told you so" can be optional. We are children's are care givers. Let them have independence at the park or at school, but not in a ocean of driving cars, kindappers, drug addicts, child traffickers, mentally ill people, you name it. I myself was invited into a man's van to get some flowers he was looking to give a  pretty lady about a year ago. I said no and called the police. Imagine if it was that little boy, all alone and said ok.  I hope Dr. Phil had enough sense to talk to this mom and invite her to re-evalute her poor choices. Its illegal to leave a kid alone in a car, or alone at home under the age of 12, it MUST be illegal to just leave your kid in the middle of nowhere. Someone call CPS!

You and me both, I cant believe there arent more  people on here freaking  out about  that. Some one needs to report her to CPS. So sad and so scarey, all at the little boy's expense. When he is older (if he makes it that long) maybe he will ask him mom "What the HELL were you thinking?" She's an idiot and doesnt deserve such a child.

Moukky... be sure to take you children's fingerprints, hair sample and a current picture so when they are abducted, raped and thrown into a river you have something to identify them with.

Why are people freakng out aboout the mom who let her kid loose in the city? It's not like she didn't prepare him. He obviously knows how to use the subway and read a map. I know there are creeps everywhere, but they don't just ride the subway all day hoping that some kid will show up that they can grab.
I grew up in Germany and honestly it's not that different from this country. I walked to school every day when I was 6 years old. I had to cross a couple of streets to get there, but my mom taught me to look both ways and wait til it's clear. I also rode my bike across the city to go to sports practices starting at age 7. I learned to use public transportation wihout my mom's help and took my first solo train ride  (over 100 miles) at age 9.

When I came to America (at age 17 by myself) I went to NYC. I bought a map and I walked around, took the subway and found my way back to my hotel without any problems. I thank my mom for giving me so much freedom as a child. I'm glad she let me gain the self-confidence that I could do whatever I set my mind to. She admits that it was hard for her at times to let go, especially when I wanted to go to America and she was scared that I was going to be all by myself and wouldn't have anybody to help me if anything went wrong. But she let go and things have worked out. She prepared me in the best way possible. She taught me how to take care of myself.

I was amazed when I met so many people in college who were completely helpless because everything was always taken care of by their parents. My first roommate got drunk every night (she was 18 and had hovering parents), my second roommate (also 18) got pregnant 6 weeks into the first semester (also had hovering parents). Another student was still living with his mom at age 27 and when I helped him move kept pulling over the U-Haul saying he couldn't leave home. There are many many more examples, but you get the picture, hovering really does screw up kids a lot more than teaching them to be responsible with their independence.

my mom has never let me go anwhere & when she did i wud have 2 take my younger sis & shes 8 years younger den me. im 18 & 2 dis point she still like dat. i help her clean, cook & take care of my sis & im gonna take care of HER new baby. i dont kno wat 2 do. if anybody has any ideas i will b glad 2 hear dem