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Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Number of Replies: 116
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:41:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

Did you know stress can take years off your life and even kill you? If you feel overwhelmed, overscheduled or overextended, you don't want to miss this show! Jamie says when she lost her job and her house went into foreclosure, she gained 30 pounds, had constant stomach aches and couldn't stop crying. Her problems seemed so insurmountable that she even started smoking for the first time in her life! Jamie's 17–year-old daughter, Breanna, blames herself for her mom's financial woes and says she doesn't even feel comfortable in her own home. Can this mother-daughter bond be restored? Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of the new book, The Stress Answer, shares tools that can help Jamie get back on track. Then, Susan says she’s quick to lose her temper and sometimes takes her anger out on her three children. She says she got so fed up with her family that she packed her bags and stayed at a hotel for several days! Dr. Lawlis pays this overworked mom a house call. Find out the stress-relieving techniques he taught Susan that you can do at home. And, Iron Chef Cat Cora whips up delicious recipes that can help you de-stress. Plus, tune in for an unbelievable performance to lift your spirits!  Share your views with others.  


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 9, 2008, 7:07 am CDT

Not listening

Quote From: getrealtime

If you can work part time you can work full time, go get a job and earn a living and stop asking the state to take care of you, if you haven't notice we can't take care of you we don't want to take care of you we want you to take care of yourself as many do.

 

get a full time job and start paying for your own way and see if you feel better, you are worring that if the state turns you down you are that much farther in the hole, you are the only one that can change your worries.


If the person above has two adult children in their 30's then that would make her in at least her 50's she has explained that she has tried to pull herself up by the bootstraps and take care of things, she also suffers from a BP disorder, can she work?  Probably for brief periods of time. You better hope that you never get into a situation where you have to depend on others for help because you will be the one to fall apart its funny how people that have never been in a situation can so boldly give advice.
 
October 9, 2008, 7:09 am CDT

re: Stressed out mom

as a mom of 2 boys, 17 and 22 , I have just one piece of "advice". She needs to listen to a song by Trace Adkins called "You're gonna miss this". Unfortunately, when your kids are little, you don't realize how fast time goes by. The song talks about this. I cry every time I hear it! And I am not a sappy person! I think it just takes realizing that these times with your children are changing every day. And you owe it to yourself and the world to raise decent people. If you focus on knowing that you are raising the future and look at it as a challenge instead ofso stressful. Think about these children you are raising instead of thinking about yourself and how stressed you are. You can't teach them about their emotions and how to handle them if you are so wrapped up in your own. I'm not saying ignore your own emotions and needs, but there is something very rewarding about watching your children utilize the things you teach them.
 
October 9, 2008, 9:00 am CDT

THINGS ARE CRITICAL RIGHT NOW

Quote From: cmwhets3

I saw the show today....she doesn't realize how lucky she is....right now as of this morning, my husband of 36 years was told that this terminal lymphoma has returned and more treatments are needed immediately...so off we were to the treatment room.  We have been going through all this for over 4 years...Bob was told he had 3 to 5 years to live....its coming up to 4 1/2 years...and you say you're stressed!!  You have your healthy daughter and you too are cancer free!!!  We too may lose our home because of the enormous medical bills over the last 4+ years...we have already had to sell our vehicles to pay for the bills we have accumulated over all this medical history.  One doesn't realize how expensive cancer treatment is.  And now they have set up an appointment for us with Mayo Clinic in Minnesota to talk about stem cell transplant...another $150,000.00 procedure!!!!  And if that isn't enough stress. our 35 year old daughter and mother of 2 small boys has recently been diagnosed with what they call Paraneoplastic Syndrome...Dr.'s are telling her that she has a 75% chance of having cancer also...this type of syndrome masks your system for symptoms and has taken the Dr.'s 5 years to realize this...they have no idea where or when this cancer will show up!!!  And you are stressed!!!!!!  Like I said, you have your daughter, a healthy daughter and you have your whole life and future ahead of you...unlike an unknown for my husband and young daughter....consider yourself lucky.  I have written several times to Dr. Phil for help in getting our daughter, Lisa, to a specialist for a second opinion and have never gotten any response...we need help...we are not asking for money...just a referral name.  We watch alot of shows about cheating husbands, mothers who are tired of being mothers, or families who just hate each other....well our family is just the opposite...we are a close family and want a future to share with each other...please help...there would be nothing better than to be able to tell my husband that someone does care and that there is help out there for our daughter before he passes away....we are running out of time.... AND YOU'VE GOT STRESS????  TRY LIFE IN MY SHOES!!!!

 

PLEASE HELP ME....PLEASE HELP ME.....THINGS HAVE NOW BECOME CRITICAL FOR MY HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME...THIS IS LITERALLY  A LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION RIGHT NOW...

 

 

WE NEED SOMEONE TO HELP US...OUR SON TOO IS SO DEEPELY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW OVER ALL THIS...I ACTUALLY CALLED THE SUICIDE HOTLINE YESTERDAY TO ASK FOR HELP AS TO WHAT OUR FAMILY COULD DO FOR HELP...I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TURN TO RIGHT NOW......

 
October 11, 2008, 1:57 pm CDT

Stressed out to the MAX - JAMIE

My heart goes out to Jamie and her daughter....I realize I'm a little late in writing this - as I am behind in my videos of Dr Phil's shows...but watching this mom broke my heart.  She is an intelligent - wonderful woman - and that she even has to deal like this - hits home.  I recently watched my daughter struggle through 4 years of having to possibly file bankrupcy/lose her home/husband for that period/get food stamps/try and make a living and not abandon her children during a very very difficult time.  ALL i knew - was to be there for her.  I wish I could do the same for Jamie and her daughter.  I know if it had not been for the LORD in our lives - my daughter would have definitely not only lost everything materially - but lost her mind as well.  Jamie - HANG in there - things will get better....I wish you were in my city - and I would be able to help in some way.  My daughter will never be the same after this experience....All she wants to do now - that things are beginning to get better in her life - is to HELP OTHERS that struggle like she did!!  She will never turn a BLIND EYE again on a situation - if she can help in ANY way....THAT'S the lesson (one of them that she has learned)...she is a much stronger woman now.  She is 38 with two small children....Her husband is home again - BUT - picking up the pieces isn't as easy as it might seem to others....GOD BLESS you- and I'll be praying for your life to take a turn for the BETTER!!!
 
October 12, 2008, 6:35 am CDT

Really???

Quote From: allofhim

My heart goes out to Jamie and her daughter....I realize I'm a little late in writing this - as I am behind in my videos of Dr Phil's shows...but watching this mom broke my heart.  She is an intelligent - wonderful woman - and that she even has to deal like this - hits home.  I recently watched my daughter struggle through 4 years of having to possibly file bankrupcy/lose her home/husband for that period/get food stamps/try and make a living and not abandon her children during a very very difficult time.  ALL i knew - was to be there for her.  I wish I could do the same for Jamie and her daughter.  I know if it had not been for the LORD in our lives - my daughter would have definitely not only lost everything materially - but lost her mind as well.  Jamie - HANG in there - things will get better....I wish you were in my city - and I would be able to help in some way.  My daughter will never be the same after this experience....All she wants to do now - that things are beginning to get better in her life - is to HELP OTHERS that struggle like she did!!  She will never turn a BLIND EYE again on a situation - if she can help in ANY way....THAT'S the lesson (one of them that she has learned)...she is a much stronger woman now.  She is 38 with two small children....Her husband is home again - BUT - picking up the pieces isn't as easy as it might seem to others....GOD BLESS you- and I'll be praying for your life to take a turn for the BETTER!!!
Did you hear the part in the show where she was making 150,000 a year in the corrupt mortage industry?   If I had one year where I even made half of that I would save the money and this money would be life changing to me.  


Some people bring there own stress on themselves, if you make money in a way the borders on criminal, then buy a house you can't afford plus SUVs you can't afford, and then expect hardworking lower to mid wage people like myself to bail you out through the government (aka bankruptcy, bailouts etc) than YOU are the cause of your own stress.  Why shouldn't people have to suffer the consequences of there selfish decisions?  
 
October 13, 2008, 9:11 pm CDT

Pick yourself up....

While I sympathize with the lady and her daughter, the stress she's suffering she brings upon herself.  I understand it's hard to adjust from making $150K a year to nothing, but she needs to get off of her butt and go to Plan B.  She's an intelligent and highly marketable person.  There's no reason why she can't get another job - albeit it might not be the $150K so adjust like the rest of American's and scale down on her mode of living.  Additionally, it's not too late to go back to school and get a degree in another field, if she so chooses.  It's time to stop feeling sorry for herself and get her act together.

 

I've been a single parent of two kids, living off of $42K a year and I managed to get a house, put myself through school getting a BS/E-Busines and 2 MBA's in Technology Management and Marketing.  Of course, I have debt like the rest of American's and am also suffering financially, but I know things will pay off shortly.  Sometimes we just have to buckle down and roll with the punches, versus curling up like infants and whining ourselves into a frenzy.

 

The lady needs to first get a positive outlook on life and make it happen.  No one feels sorry for her.  We  all have to do what it takes to get by and so does she.

 

Vera

 
October 14, 2008, 2:01 am CDT

Now this is a story!

Quote From: cmwhets3

I saw the show today....she doesn't realize how lucky she is....right now as of this morning, my husband of 36 years was told that this terminal lymphoma has returned and more treatments are needed immediately...so off we were to the treatment room.  We have been going through all this for over 4 years...Bob was told he had 3 to 5 years to live....its coming up to 4 1/2 years...and you say you're stressed!!  You have your healthy daughter and you too are cancer free!!!  We too may lose our home because of the enormous medical bills over the last 4+ years...we have already had to sell our vehicles to pay for the bills we have accumulated over all this medical history.  One doesn't realize how expensive cancer treatment is.  And now they have set up an appointment for us with Mayo Clinic in Minnesota to talk about stem cell transplant...another $150,000.00 procedure!!!!  And if that isn't enough stress. our 35 year old daughter and mother of 2 small boys has recently been diagnosed with what they call Paraneoplastic Syndrome...Dr.'s are telling her that she has a 75% chance of having cancer also...this type of syndrome masks your system for symptoms and has taken the Dr.'s 5 years to realize this...they have no idea where or when this cancer will show up!!!  And you are stressed!!!!!!  Like I said, you have your daughter, a healthy daughter and you have your whole life and future ahead of you...unlike an unknown for my husband and young daughter....consider yourself lucky.  I have written several times to Dr. Phil for help in getting our daughter, Lisa, to a specialist for a second opinion and have never gotten any response...we need help...we are not asking for money...just a referral name.  We watch alot of shows about cheating husbands, mothers who are tired of being mothers, or families who just hate each other....well our family is just the opposite...we are a close family and want a future to share with each other...please help...there would be nothing better than to be able to tell my husband that someone does care and that there is help out there for our daughter before he passes away....we are running out of time.... AND YOU'VE GOT STRESS????  TRY LIFE IN MY SHOES!!!!

 

I wish that I could help you but I have no answers. I am going through my own difficulties right now also, not as bad as yours are though. I am disabled with severe chronic pain and 2 failed back surgery's and 1 reconstructive surgery. I understand how the medical bills can overwhelm you on top of the stress of the illness itself. Personally, I feel that your story should have been on the show instead of the one that was. With the exception that this show may have helped others to realize to stop living beyond their means and actually put some of that money away for a rainy day. I have to admit that I'm a little short on sympathy for the woman on the show. I have tried so many times to point out to people on this board that there are so many things to be thankful for, especially good health. There is always someone who has it worse than you do. Your story is a prime example! I hope that you find help soon, and I wish the very best for your husband, your daughter, the rest of your family and you. I'll say a special prayer just for you tonight.

Sincerely,

Jewels

 
October 15, 2008, 9:31 am CDT

I agree she brought it on herself

Quote From: vmac43

While I sympathize with the lady and her daughter, the stress she's suffering she brings upon herself.  I understand it's hard to adjust from making $150K a year to nothing, but she needs to get off of her butt and go to Plan B.  She's an intelligent and highly marketable person.  There's no reason why she can't get another job - albeit it might not be the $150K so adjust like the rest of American's and scale down on her mode of living.  Additionally, it's not too late to go back to school and get a degree in another field, if she so chooses.  It's time to stop feeling sorry for herself and get her act together.

 

I've been a single parent of two kids, living off of $42K a year and I managed to get a house, put myself through school getting a BS/E-Busines and 2 MBA's in Technology Management and Marketing.  Of course, I have debt like the rest of American's and am also suffering financially, but I know things will pay off shortly.  Sometimes we just have to buckle down and roll with the punches, versus curling up like infants and whining ourselves into a frenzy.

 

The lady needs to first get a positive outlook on life and make it happen.  No one feels sorry for her.  We  all have to do what it takes to get by and so does she.

 

Vera

If she was making 150,000 a year than she had plently of money to save, instead of spend impulsively so that she would be able to have a decent lifestyle if she lost her job or when the economy changed which if anyone who has every taken econ 101 should know economys go up and down.   Now she is taking food from food banks that the disabled, sick, and low wage earners desperately need and she wants us to feel sorry for her for having to go there.  I feel sorry for the disabled, sick, and low waged people who are going to get stuck with eating chick peas for months because of wasteful former high wage earners like her who were irresponsible.  
 
October 15, 2008, 3:57 pm CDT

Little things...

Sometimes it is all the little things together that can cause the greatest stresses. I am a single mother of 3 kids, 2 years ago this month I suddenly lost my dad. And have been doing what I can for my mom. And it has finally come to a head today. She has been unhappy, put instead of helping herself she takes it ALL out on me. She tears me down by picking at all my faults and mistakes. Although I have another sibling, he has distanced himself because he also has a family and can only do so much.

 

 I also have a child with severe mental illness and just getting through the day sometimes is hard. I am beat up and wore out most days.

 

  I also was in an accident and lost my only means of transportatin for my children and I. And insurance is taking its sweet time dealing with it.I have a 5 year old I can't get to school. A 10 year old that I can't get to a pharmacy to get his medication. Luckily money isn't my stress. They are all little stresses. But they can become so overwhelming that you are not sure where to turn, I get to where I have days I just can't function as a productive parent/person. I a not whining, things will work themselves out. But everyones stresses are different and affect each and everyone of us differently. Most days I can handle anything I am handed, but there are those days I don't know how  much more I can do. Today is 1 of those days. Tomorrow will hopefully be a day I can handle it.

 
October 21, 2008, 1:21 pm CDT

Am I Going Crazy?

I am only fourteen years old and I am female, and I think I have stress problems. Sometimes I think they could possibly be rage or anger issues, I'm not exactly sure what to call them. I don't cry unless I'm in pain but it seems like not crying or letting my emotions out is causing me to let them out at all the wrong times. I cannot do homework at school because I get so frustrated that I throw things, my muscles get tense, it gets hard to breathe, I get hot, and I can no longer think clearly. Anything can trigger my issues, but it usually happens when I am doing school work or when something annoys me. I hate having this problem because I feel like a crazy person when I throw these "tantrums". I have told my mom but she just tells me I should relax, BUT I CAN'T. Please help.
 
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